#d*****

It's starting again. My stomach is rolling like a thundercloud and my throat is full to the brim. I don't open my mouth for fear of screaming and alerting my mother. So I bite down on my lip, and try not to think about him. It's hard though. I close my eyes and I see him spinning in circles at the Pig, waiting for my mom to turn around so he could wave at me. Or finding a calculator and typing out a message with the alpha key, which took FOREVER. It i see the messages I've sent to him. And the equal and opposite messages he's sent me. And I see the little smiley face with the heart blowing from its mouth. I see him standing by other people, but when he notices me, he comes over and stands by me. I hear him saying good bye, or hissing my name so my geometry teacher won't here. I hear my phone ringing, and the blood rushing to my ears. I hear my heart thudding as I scroll up and my heart all but giving out when I come across that picture. I'm crying now.