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god i hate the way you walk around and wear my perfume, the way you make me scratch your stupid back and grab me inappropriately like it’s no big deal, like this is meant to happen. it’s not and i’m realizing that and it makes me so mad i do not deserve to be abused like this in my own fucking home
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my pen ran out today and now i am sad
My girls! Who btw won first place in the dance competition! Wuddup!
This past weekend, I was given the opportunity to be a leader at the Disciple Now 2012 conference. I had a group of 7 middle school girls. The theme of the weekend devotions was Distractions. I was instructed to give 4 sermons, all which went way better than expected. I know it wasn't any preparation I did though, it was by the power of God speaking through me that impacted these girls' lives the way it did. I was a nervous wreck up until the hour before I met my group. Me and the 7 other leaders came together to pray beforehand, and I got on my face and I surrendered it to God. After that, I was eager to meet them and kick start the weekend. My nerves fled. I adored each and every one of my girls. They were all so passionate, and so bold in their walk with Christ. What they don't know is that I was called to ministry at a young age, and I've been running from it ever since. This is the first time I've felt strong enough in my faith to step out and do what God has called me to do. This weekend was my first test, and I was afraid I would fail miserably. Instead I acted upon what I know, rather than what I feel, and through Him I passed with flying colors. This weekend affirmed everything I know God has called me to do. Ministry is where He has placed my heart. These girls impacted my life way more than I impacted theirs. I now feel equipped enough to continue to seek after His will for my life, and go wherever He leads me next. I'm trusting that doors are about to open for me, and more opportunities will present themselves. I don't feel worthy or deserving of all the many blessings He continues to pour into my life, but I will keep trying to pursue all He has called me to do because He deserves it. When I am weak, when I am strong, when I am thirsty, when I am hungry, when my cup is running over, when I am empty, when I am broken, when I am complete, it doesn't matter. He calls us to reach the lost through His name at all times, and if we aren't doing that, then we are failing Him. Thanks for all the prayers and support as I continue this journey. I love you guys!
