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Aaaand cycle 31 arrived yesterday. Also, my toddler bashed her front teeth in (they’re literally not in the sockets anymore) on the same morning, so we spent all afternoon at different A&E’s to get her seen. :( :( :( Hoping for some good news finally.
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Just as I'm talking about Stephen's remaining blood results they come in. His Free Testosterone was in the normal range - but his Total Testosterone was below 200, well below the range. From my very, very limited knowledge and Dr. Google (as unreliable as she may be) it appears that mixed with his elevated LH he could have Primary Hypogonadism or Primary Testicular Failure. It's not an official diagnosis and we won't know what it means for a little bit yet - but it's unsettling. I wish so terribly that the issues were with me. I just want to fix it and take his frustration away. I keep reminding him that no matter what it is his health and happiness will always come first and I'll be by his side. I just hope he's actually hearing it when I say it.
Period due possibly today (Tuesday), but more likely tomorrow (Wednesday). Once it comes I will be going in on CD 3 for some pre-conception testing. Once the RE has those results and Stephen's I believe we get to schedule the next batch of testing. They're done in Omaha, I believe. So a tiny little road trip will be coming up. I did take a peek at Stephen's blood results that we have gotten - I think there's a couple missing yet. They were all within normal range except his LH was slightly elevated. From what I can tell nothing that would cause such an alarming problem with his sperm count. So it's back to most likely being a genetic or physiological problem. Hopefully we will find out more about seeing a urologist soon as well. There's so much to do. And I'm just stuck waiting.
I may have found a financing option for us? Hopefully if we apply we will qualify for it. That would be outstanding. But I saw this program that's partnered with my clinic and was going to call and inquire about it today... then in a group where I was asking for advice someone suggested that I find out if any clinics near me work with the program. They had rave reviews about their experience. Which is awesome! I had read as much as I could on the website last night and it sounded really feasible - but hearing a first hand account was great. Now I just have to decide if I should call right away and ask the clinic or wait a few days... I just need some guidance. How quickly do I need to be pulling all of this stuff together?
I did get in touch with my cousin who is an accountant and ask her what I need to be keeping and what to do when it comes to the IVF treatment cost and tax time. I know there’s some kind of something for it - but that’s about my max intel. I don’t know squat about taxes.
So she told me all the things that I should be keeping and told me she’d make sure to set aside a few appointments when filing time starts so that we can go over it together and make sure that we have everything covered.
It feels like an odd thing to prepare but I got absolutely nowhere tonight as far as financial planning goes. I need more information from the clinic first. So, it’s something. I got something done.
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Today’s appointment boiled down to one sentence:
We need to go through IVF or this isn’t happening.
I can’t quite articulate everything because I’m still at quite a loss for words. But for right now I’m trying to prepare for whatever comes next financially and emotionally. To be honest, I don’t even know what THAT entails. I’m waiting on a call from the billing office to discuss options.
CD 19
4 DPO I'm not sure what has gotten into my stomach but it's welcome to stop. Every single meal I eat is upsetting it. Home cooked, veggie burgers, restaurant - forget it! It's too early to have anything to do as far as symptoms and what not, but. Ugh. It's miserable. We will be going to meet our RE for the first time in THREE DAYS. I'm kind of shitting myself to be honest. I'm not at all ready for this. I just want to open my eyes and have the past 2.5 years (specifically the last five months) be a horrible dream. I just want something good to come from this. A plan, good news, hope... But every time I ask for that the appointments end up worse and worse.
TTC Update:
On August 2nd we will have our first appointment with a reproductive specialist at 3:00 p.m. There are none of them in my town but the OB/GYN office has one that comes to town from Omaha, NE to see patients. She/he can do a lot of the testing and such in this location so that we aren’t commuting so much. We’ll only have to go down to Omaha for the things that are beyond the OB’s capabilities. That’s convenient.
Like I mentioned in my previous post, Stephen’s semen analysis came back pretty bad. I didn’t get much clarity with it. The OB said that the count was very low and we needed to move to the RE, so that’s the plan. We’re going to proceed with this cycle as usual since we won’t see the doctor until after I have ovulated. I’ve talked to a few people who have had all kinds of info: sometimes the next test is better, there’s vitamins and diet changes we can make, etc. etc. I’m trying to hold onto hope and belief that everything is possible until we see the doctor and get specifics and find out what’s next.
As far as I go: I responded better to Femara than I ever did on Clomid. It was still one follicle but that follicle was A LOT better than the Clomid ones. They were 18-21 mm while the one today was 24. (If I’m remembering my numbers right).
That’s about where we are at. I have a lot of emotions that I’m going back and forth between. Mostly, I’m trying to be hopeful for the new options that will be available to us with a doctor that has more capabilities in her office. I won’t know many more specifics or planned courses of action until next week. Until then, I hump away and wait. So - pretty much your average TTC experience.
