cream a little dream of me; knj
➺ pairing; kim namjoon x reader
➺ genre; lveb!universe, you’ve been asking for this and i’m finally here to tell you that this is smut! nsfw! 18+! oral sex (receiving)! dirty talk! namjoon has a dirty mouth and y/n is into that!! y/n’s a great listener and namjoon is very into that!! also frosting is involved somewhere
➺ wordcount: 8.9k
➺ summary; y/n has a wet dream about namjoon and yoongi just wants to help his best friend get laid.
➺ what to expect; “it’s not a big deal or anything, but, uh... when were you planning on telling me about that nice little dream you had two weeks ago?”
➺ optional reading: here’s the link to la vie en bonsai if you haven’t read it yet or if you just want to experience the story all over again!
»»————- ☁️ ————-««
to say the least, yoongi is… confused.
in the three years that he’s been friends with you, he likes to think that he’s seen every single one of your emotions
but this?
this is different somehow… yet he can’t quite put his finger on what’s so different about it...
he’s seen elated y/n
he’s seen devastated y/n
he’s seen infuriated y/n
he’s seen stressed out y/n
but this y/n?
the starry-eyed and constantly looking like you’re day dreaming y/n?
he can safely say he’s never seen this version of you before and it’s a little concerning because now he has no idea what the protocol is
even back when you guys were in university you practically never daydreamed during lectures
you were always focused on the professor and whatever powerpoint was playing on the screen with a concerning amount of intensity
one time, yoongi put his hand over your eyes just to be funny and you nearly snapped his wrist off
“okay, seriously?” yoongi waves his hand in front of your face for the fifth time in half an hour before shaking his head gently, “what’s gotten into you?”
you blink quickly when you snap out of your little daze, looking at him and setting the bowl of batter down on the counter before checking out the damage you’ve done
you’re supposed to fold this batter
not whIP it
now it’s ruined and you’re going to have to start all over!
“i don’t know what that batter ever did to you, but you might need to take it down a notch before you sprain your wrist…” yoongi trails off, leaning over a little and wondering if he can get away with dipping his finger in for a teeny tiny taste
sure, he might get salmonella or whatever from ingesting raw eggs, but it’ll be worth it
“also, what are you even making?” he frowns, gesturing to all the items splayed on the counter, “because there are like ten different things going on here-”
you look around the kitchen before reaching up to scratch the back of your neck
you... don’t really have an answer for him
there’s bread dough over here
three bowls of frosting (chocolate, cream cheese, buttercream) over there
some chopped up peaches on the cutting board
the puff pastry is de-frosting in the fridge
there’s a pie baking in the oven at the moment
you just finished greasing up a mini cupcake tin
and don’t forget about the bowl of batter you’re currently whipping the life out of
(let the record show that you have no idea what you’re making. you have no clue what this batter is for. and why’d you take out your set of food-colouring dye??)
you just needed to let off some steam and this is the only way you know hoW
“isn’t this great? working out in the comfort of my own personal gym…”
both you and yoongi look over towards the kitchen door when you hear jin’s voice ring through namjoon’s laptop from the living room
yoongi perks up in interest when you suddenly scurry over to spy at namjoon through the crack of the door before he gets up to follow you
“yeah, easy for you to say-” namjoon grunts as he pushes himself up off the ground so he can clap his hands together quickly before his palms land back on the ground in a solid thump
he thought push-ups were already awful as is so he wasn’t very pleased when jin told him to start doing them with claps in between each set
also, jin has access to a full-blown gym in his house, but namjoon doesn’t have any access to actual weights so he’s had to resort to using jugs of water instead
it’s actually working out pretty well!
he took the sweeper part of the broom off and then used a lot of duct tape (and patience) to tape the jugs to both sides of the pole
he felt like he was mulan from that one part of the movie except mulan is probably physically stronger than him
“you know, i’m surprised he hasn’t smashed his face against the floor yet...” yoongi snorts as he continues to peer at namjoon over your shoulder
he waits a couple seconds for you to respond but frowns when you let out a short little sigh while keeping your eyes glued on your sweaty boyfriend
...
see?!
you’re doing it again!!!!
you have your bottom lip tucked in between your teeth and your eyes have gone all lidded and hazy
your grip around the edge of the door is really tight and your knuckles are going kind of white
good god
yoongi narrows his eyes suspiciously before jabbing your shoulder roughly, “hey. what are you thinking about?”
you shake your head a little too quickly for his liking before turning back around and brushing past him to get back to the counter
huh
okay
something’s up for sure
he doesn’t know if it’s good or bad or whatever but he’s going to find out
your cheeks and the tips of your ears are a little flushed now which is even more interesting
what could possibly be going on in that little noggin of yours?
“tell me what you were thinking about.” yoongi sits back down on the stool as he stares you down across the counter, “y/n- look at me.”
“i’m not-” you glance up at yoongi for a quick second before looking back down, “nothing!” you mutter, your arm starting to move faster as you continue whipping the mystery batter
yoongi immediately points to the ball of dough sitting a couple feet away from him, “tell me what you were thinking about or i’ll eat that ball of raw dough right noW-”
“-!” you set the bowl down before scrambling to move the dough out of yoongi’s reach
he’s eaten raw dough before (it was raw cookie dough and he took bites of it every time you turned to face away from him) which resulted in him suffering for like 48 hours and you’re not taking any chances
“you can’t keep secrets from me.” yoongi deadpans, “aren’t we best friends? don’t you trust me?” he bats his lashes at you before pushing his bottom lip out in a pout, “because i certainly trust you… and you, out of all people, should know how hard it is for me to trust someone…”
your eye twitches
you know he’s only saying all of this to butter you up so that you’ll inevitably give in and tell him what’s going on... and you hate that it’s actually working...
look at that face!
those cheeks!!!
those eyes!!!!
“i…” you trail off, biting the inside of your cheek as you contemplate whether it’s a good idea or not to tell yoongi what exactly’s been going on with you lately
if you tell him, he’ll stop bugging you about it
then again, if you tell him, he might keep bugging you about it
but he’s already suspicious of you so it seems like you don’t really have a choice...
this is really a lose-lose situation, if you think about it
...damn.
“hey, do you remember that time you were crying really hard and i made you feel better by telling you that i kind of sort of loved you...?” yoongi mentions casually while inspecting his nail beds, his eyes flickering up towards your face for a quick second to see your reaction
he bites back a smirk of success when he hears you let out a sigh
ha HA
hook, line, and sinker bABY
“okay, fine, but-” you slam the bowl down on the counter before placing your hands on your hips, ”it’s a secret. between us!” you gesture for him to come over to you
“god, finally-!” yoongi nods enthusiastically and hops off the stool before scurrying over to join you at the other side of the counter
you lift your hand up so the side of your mouth is covered and yoongi reaches up to wrap his fingers around your wrist, grinning excitedly as you whisper something into his ear
…
…
…
yoongi’s jaw drops
holy shit
no wonder he hasn’t seen you act like this before!
this isn’t elated y/n or disappointed y/n or excited y/n
a new player has entered the ring
this is HORNY Y/N
“you… little… horndog!” yoongi cackles with glee as he claps his hands together wildly, “you, y/n y/l/n- you had a wet dream?!”
you feel your anxiety spike at how loud yoongi’s being and you make a gesture to try to get him to use his inside voice but he doesn’t seem to be paying any attention to you at all right now
“wow...” yoongi laughs lightly, crossing his arms as he looks up towards the ceiling, “i mean, welcome to puberty, i guess. a bit of a late start if you ask me, but either way i’m actually pretty proud of you for basically creaming your-”
“shh!” you quickly shove a spoon into yoongi’s mouth and he spits it out immediately
it falls onto the counter with a clang
to be honest, you actually don’t remember too much of the dream
flashes of namjoon’s head in between your legs and his strong arms wrapped around your thighs pinning you down pop into your mind every now and again to taunt you
but other than that
nothing!
it’s just that joon’s been working out a lot lately (jin’s trying to get in better shape because of one photo where the shadow made it look like he had a double chin and it traumatised him) so it makes sense that he’s turning into an actual beefcake now
the other day you accidentally busted a bag of icing in your hands after squeezing it too hard because you were watching namjoon doing bicep curls with the milk jugs
his arms just….,,.
you want to bite into them
or dig your nails into them
or just look at them!
you would be perfectly content with just staring at them 24/7!
now, the issue here is that you...
you don’t really know…
you don’t know how to initiate things with namjoon
it’s awkward!
…on your end, that is
since getting together, you and namjoon have had plenty of heated make-out (and slight groping) sessions but you always end up chickening out as soon as you feel things starting to escalate
you just get nervous that you’re going to do something wrong and it’ll pop the love-bubble you guys are in right now!!
and you really don’t want to pop anything!!
and namjoon, being the sweet, kind, caring, considerate, wonderful, absolutely flawless boy he is, never has an issue with it because his number one priority is making sure that you’re comfortable
he’s totally okay with moving at your pace!
but after the last couple of times where you’ve left him high and dry, you notice that he either a) puts a pillow over his lap almost immediately and tries to change the subject or b) waddles off to the bathroom for a ‘pee break’
you feel awful knowing that you’re blue-balling him but you don’t want to take things further if there’s even a slight possibility of you ruining things
so... yeah!
your only stress reliever has been baking which isn’t new
you’ve stress baked before but this is a nEW type of stress baking
this is the most chaotic level of stress baking there is because everything’s just a disorganised MESS
“you know what, it actually makes sense now,” yoongi reaches up to stroke his chin in thought before nodding to himself, “you’ve been acting so weird lately that i thought i did something wrong- and it turns out you’ve just been excruciatingly horny this entire time-”
“lower your voice!” you hiss, hurrying over to the door to make sure namjoon’s not listening in to what should be a private conversation if yoongi wasn’t so damn loud
he may be in the living room but who knows how far your voices can travel??
you peek out to look at poor namjoon who looks like he’s just about ready to pass ouT from exhaustion
he lets out an almost animalistic growl as he pushes himself up off the ground one last time and you feel a tingle in your southern region
if you were a cartoon character there would be gigantic hearts pumping out of your eyes, your tongue would roll out of your mouth like a red carpet, and a horn would be blasting aooga in the background
“okay, well - you can’t not tell me about what happened in it.” you turn back around to face yoongi, “give me all the details!!!!” he wiggles his brows as he leans down and folds him arms atop the counter, “and get real nasty with it because i haven’t had sex in months-”
“no way!” you scoff before crossing one arm over the other to make an ‘x’ sign at yoongi, “no! i don’t remember anything.”
“you’re lying to me.” the smile on yoongi’s face drops and he scowls at you, “you totally are!”
“am not! it’s true.” you chirp, nodding satisfactorily when yoongi doesn’t respond
good
the topic has been dropped and now you can focus your attention back on this weird, runny batter you’re still beating the life out of
“...what about if i guess?”
you pause
oh
oh no
you don’t like that idea at all
you don’t get a chance to shake your head nO before yoongi starts listing out all your possible wet-dream scenarios
“he was finger-fucking you.”
“you were sucking him off?”
“he was eating you out!”
“69? you on top? or was it him on top? …no, it was probably you on to-”
“a classy combination of tongue and fingers? ooh, quick question- how quickly did dreamjoon find your g-spo-”
“missionary! can’t go wrong with good ol’ fashioned missio-”
“doggystyle? cowgirl! reverse cowgirl? or was he kind of, like, spooning you from behi-”
“ooh! plot twist! you gave him the strap-”
“butt-stuff! butt-stuff?? butt-stuff but the plug had a tail on- oh-ho, it was butt-stuff, wasn’t it-”
“something with a belt? something with cuffs? something with leather?”
“roleplaying! he was a sexy gardener with a big ol’ hose and you were just an innocent wittle twree-”
“was he rawdogging you?”
your eyes immediately widen and you look up at yoongi for the first time since he started rambling, “wha- WHAT is that?!”
rawdogging??
that sounds like it’d give you carpet burn for some reason
“sex without a condom.” yoongi states as if it’s the most obvious fact in the entire world, “duh.”
god
boys are so
boyish!!!!
“why not just say that instead??” you ask incredulously, tilting your head
yoongi snorts, “well, because rawdogging sounds way hotter-”
your face screws up immediately, “does it really, though…?”
yoongi pauses before his face lights up, “aha! so dreamjoon WAS rawdogging y-”
“crude!” your entire face is bright red at this point and you hurry over to the fridge to grab a bag of frozen blueberries out of the freezer (for what purposes? you have no idea.)
“you think i’m being crude?” yoongi scoffs, “i think you’re being a prude. okay, lemme see what else i can think of-”
“yoongi, literally no one asked you to list-”
“were you grinding on his-” yoongi pauses again, “you know, like dry humping?” he hums before pushing himself up off the counter and placing both his palms flat on the surface of it, “i mean, i guess i can see why that’d be hot, you know, with clothes being restrictive and all- oh! were you getting off on his thigh? because a couple of girls have done that to me before and it was actually pretty hot AND since namjoon’s dna consists of 80% plant he basically has tree trunk thighs-”
“okay, i don’t remember too much-” you grab yoongi by the arm to yank him back in so you can whisper in his ear again
yoongi listens attentively
…
…
…
you clear your throat before shoving yoongi away to make it seem less suspicious if namjoon just so happens to come into the kitchen at this very moment
“surprisingly simple, but it does the trick, that’s for sure…” yoongi hums as he strokes his chin thoughtfully, “damn. i hyped it up way too much. that’s actually a pretty boring dream compared to what i’ve dreamt about, now that i think about it-”
you can’t help but roll your eyes as you open up the bag of blueberries
…what did you pull these out for again?
“well, what’s the problem?” yoongi frowns, “you guys are already dating. just go up to him and ask him if he wants to do stuff. if a girl told me that she creamed her panties because of me, i’d be ecstatic!”
“stop saying it like that-”
you feel a little weird talking about this with yoongi
he’s always been comfortable telling you about his sex life but you prefer to keep your intimate details private
it’s not that you don’t trust him or anything, because obviously you do, but… you’d feel more comfortable if you talked about this with a girl-friend, you know?
guys just don’t understand!
“i don’t know how to…” you shift in your spot, “ask.”
yoongi scoffs in response and crosses his arms, “y/n- namjoon is a man. men are simple. do you remember the other week when you invited me over for a breakfast and you dropped the spatula on the floor?”
you nod before tilting your head curiously, “…why?”
yoongi clears his throat
now he’S the one who looks slightly uncomfortable
“well...” he clears his throat, “namjoon was wearing sweats and i swear i wasn’t purposely looking- my eyes just happened to be looking downwards in that general direction naturally-”
“yoongi-”
“the man’s dick twitched in his sweats when you bent over, alright?” yoongi blurts out and your eyes immediately widen, “my point is: men are simple- painfully simple creatures. so... just ask him!”
you frown
just ask him??
was he even listening to you??
you just told yoongi you didn’t know how to ask namjoon and his advice was for you to ask namjoon
that’s like taking someone who doesn’t know how to swim and immediately tossing them into the OCEAN with a punctured life-ring
“god,” you roll your eyes before flicking your wrist at him, “just forget i told you!”
“hey!” yoongi gawks and shakes his head, “i can’t forget! now my only purpose in life is to get you some head-”
“jesus christ-!”
you jump ten feet into the air like a cat that’s just been sprayed by water when the kitchen door suddenly swings open and a sweaty namjoon stumbles in
“i think there’s sweat dripping into my contacts-”
“namjoon!” yoongi spins around in his stool and props his elbows up on the counter, “what a coincidence! we were just talking about you, my man…”
yoongi looks over at you with a cheeky grin and you shake your head stiffly before turning to get the jug of water from the fridge for namjoon
“oh yeah?” namjoon huffs as he places his hands on your hips from behind, sliding past you to grab a clean glass from the dish rack, “what about?”
“just about how…” yoongi looks back at you quickly and you shoot him a glare
he wouldn’t…
would he??
(he absolutely would.)
any word of your conversation and you’ll skin him alive
“-hard you’ve been working out lately!” yoongi chirps, “i mean, it looks like you were trapped in a washing machine-”
“oh, god. trust me, it’s so not worth it, i’m in so much pain-” namjoon winces and shakes his head, “you’re welcome to go and take my place if you want-”
“absolutely not-” yoongi snorts, “first of all, it’s the holidays, and everyone knows you don’t work out during december. also, you couldn’t pay me a million dollars to do a push-up. i’m perfectly happy with my somewhat doughy centre.” he pats his tummy with a happy hum and you can’t help but giggle
silly boy
namjoon laughs lightly before pausing to chug down some water, “i wish i could say the same. unfortunately, jin’s not giving me a choice-”
“sweaty!” you whine when namjoon suddenly wraps an arm around you from behind before kissing your cheek and he frowns playfully when you swat at his forearm, “and sticky…”
“relax, i’m about to hit the shower-” he nudges his nose against your cheek before pulling away, “and then i won’t be sticky and i’ll smell like peaches-”
“i should probably go, too.” yoongi gets up from his seat, “i just ordered my dinner and it’s going to arrive at my apartment in like half an hour.”
“wait!” you hold a finger out before turning to open up the cupboards for a tupperware box, “take some pie with you…”
»»————- ☁️ ————-««
“still coming friday?” you ask as you watch yoongi put his shoes on
you asked yoongi if he would be interested in helping you decorate the apartment on friday (aka you told him he didn’t have a choice and that he had to come and help you whether he wanted to or not)
“mhm.” he glances up at you, “still ordering pizza?”
“mhm.”
you reach down to pat the top of yoongi’s head gently just because you want to and pauses in the middle of tying his laces to reach over and jab your stomach
“i know the main focus is decorating the place for christmas but i think you guys are going to love the nature documentary i picked for us to watch while-” namjoon chimes in but shuts up quickly when you and yoongi exchange knowing glances, “what?”
yoongi looks back up at you with a raised brow, “…does he really have to join us?”
“no choice.” you shrug casually and namjoon’s jaw drops
wha-
“oh, hold on-” yoongi gets up off the ground before patting his pockets down with a frown, “i think i left my keys in the kitchen… can you go and get them for me?”
you nod before turning to hurry to the kitchen
you don’t want him to get another parking ticket
it’s only after you disappear into the kitchen that yoongi swiftly pulls his keys out of his back pocket with a jingle
namjoon opens his mouth to say something but yoongi quickly holds his hand out to shut him up
“야 남준아- 어제 니 여친이 니 꿈 꿨데~ (y/n had a sex dream about you).” he chirps and gives namjoon two firm pats on his surprisingly firm chest before his eyes widen in surprise, “어우 딴딴해 운동 열심히 했나보네! (woah, you really have been working out! good man.)”
“yeah, i-” namjoon chokes, “wait, wha-”
“y/n, i found my keys! my bad!” yoongi calls out and gives you a thumbs up when you come out of the kitchen, “see you losers on friday!”
he gives namjoon a grin and a light punch to the arm before swiftly turning on his heel
namjoon’s eyes are as wide as saucers as yoongi shuts the front door behind him and he blinks rapidly before turning to look at you
you tilt your head at him curiously and namjoon swallows before offering you a sheepish smile
oh, boy.
»»————- ☁️ ————-««
namjoon hasn’t been able to think straight since it was revealed to him that you had a sex dream about him.
it’s been an entire week that he’s learned this new piece of information and it’s been weighing verY heavily on his mind!!
when he wakes up his first thought is gee i wonder what y/n dreamt about
when seokjin’s rambling about god knows what the only thing in his mind is gee i wonder what y/n dreamt about
the last thing he thinks about before he goes to bed is gee i wonder what y/n dreamt about
and then his imagination conjures up what could’ve happened in your sex dream which is very dangerous because he has an overly-active imagination
it sucks that he doesn’t even know the details of the dream because stinky yoongi ziPPed off before he got a chance to squeeze the truth out of him!!!
and he hasn’t mustered up the courage to ask you about it because… how is he even supposed to ask you about it in a casual, non-confrontational way?!
he doesn’t want to embarrass you or anything like that!!
the only reason why he’s only slightly nervous about the whole situation because he doesn’t think he… oozes sex appeal?
so it was more than surprising to find out that you had a naughty dream about him
he’s like 90% leg and 10% dimple for crying out loud
and it’s not like he hasn’t done anything before, because he has, but it’s just different because it’s… you.
you’re his girlfriend and if he flubs this up the first time around then it’d be even more embarrassing than if you were just some random girl!
“말해줘여어 (you have to tell me).” namjoon whips around from where he’s standing by the tree, cradling the box of baubles to his chest, “you have to!”
“싫어 (nah).” yoongi shakes his head, tossing a kernel of popcorn into his mouth only for it to bounce off his cheek and onto the couch
he purses his lips before kicking it under the coffee table
it’s fine
the dust bunnies will get rid of it
“말해줘여어! (you have to tell me!)”
“야 안돼 (no way).”
namjoon clenches his jaw and sets the box down onto the floor promptly before balling his hands into fists and setting them on his hips, puffing his chest out
...
“아 왜여어어어~ (why not??)” he whines, deflating and resisting the urge to stamp his foot and throw an actual tantrum
“아니 비밀이라고 했으니까 그렇지! (it’s not my thing to tell! and i can’t betray y/n like that-)” yoongi shrugs as he keeps his eyes glued on the screen, “by the way, you didn’t even choose a cool nature documentary. what are we even watching?? the guy’s been talking about seaweed for the past ten minutes-”
“what do you mean it’s not your thing to tell??” namjoon scoffs, not even paying attention to the fact that yoongi just insulted his favourite nature documentary about plants in the ocean, “형이 먼저 말 꺼냈잖아! (you were the one who told me that she dreamt about me in the first place-!)” he snaps
“잠깐만 (wait, wait-)” yoongi sits up quickly, a couple kernels of popcorn rolling off his chest and falling onto his lap, “일주일이 지났는데 아무것도 안 했단 말이야?? (are you telling me that you… it’s been a whole week and you haven’t done anything about it??)”
namjoon shrinks down before reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, “노 코멘트 (…no comment.)”
“킄 정말로? (really? wow.)” yoongi snorts before shaking his head and leaning back against the couch, “both of you- i mean, both of you deserve each other, seriously-”
namjoon resists the urge to flop down on the couch dramatically, “아니 뭐라고 말하는 거예요 (well, i’m sorry, what am i even supposed to say-)”
“아우 그러지좀마 걍- (you don’t have to say anything, all you have to do is-)”
“yoongi!” namjoon and yoongi look over when you stick your head out around the kitchen door, “cream cheese or vanilla?”
“vanilla, duh.” yoongi raises a brow
you should know by this point that he prefers vanilla frosting over cream cheese!
halfway through the documentary you decided that you were going to make a carrot cake
(and yes, part of the reason why you made that decision was because you were bored of the documentary and wanted to do literally anything else, but you’ll never admit that to namjoon in case it breaks his heart)
namjoon stays quiet until after you disappear into the kitchen again and then he turns to face yoongi with both of his hands clasped together, “말해줘요오! (you have to tell me, c’mon!)”
“말해주면 제발 다른 거 보면 안 될까? (if i tell you, can we watch something else?)”
namjoon scowls
“아 됐어요 도와줄 거라도 있는지 확인 해볼게요- (fine, forget it. i’m gonna go see if y/n needs any help.)” he steps over the boxes of decorations on the ground before turning to look back at yoongi, “부엌에서 필요한 거 있어요? (you need anything?)”
“아니 (nah.)” yoongi responds before shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth, “oh! actually, see if y/n would be willing to make little carrot cupcakes instead of a whole carrot cake. holding a tiny little cupcake in my hand makes me feel like a giant.”
»»————- ☁️ ————-««
“knock, knock…” namjoon knocks on the kitchen door quietly before pushing it open, “everything going okay in here?”
he smiles when you look up from the bowl and beam at him, “hi!”
“hi-” he comes in and shuts the door behind him, “you need any help?”
“help? from you?” you giggle lightly and shake your head, “i’m good.”
ever since he accidentally poured salt into your batter that one time he hasn’t been allowed to help you
:-//
“yoongi changed his mind, by the way.” namjoon gestures back to the direction of the living room, “king min would like cupcakes now.”
your shoulders immediately droop and you gesture to the already greased cake-pans sitting on the side
what a waste!
“hey, don’t shoot the messenger!” namjoon raises both his hands in defence before shrugging, “the man wants what he wants.”
you resist the urge to go out there just to throw the cake pans at yoongi
you’re definitely going to force him to wash everything for you later
“also... you’re just doing this to get out of watching the nature doc, aren’t you?” namjoon wraps both his arms around you from behind and leans down to prop his chin up on your shoulder
you could’ve helped with the decorating, but somehow everything looks better when namjoon does it
he hung a big red bow on your front door and it looks great!
you pause in the middle of shredding carrots before letting out a nervous chuckle, “whaaat? no...”
“it’s about the types of plants in the ocean!” namjoon points out, “is that not cool?? plants are cool.”
you shake your head no almost immediately
not cool
two and a half hours of someone talking about grass that lives in salty water?
not cool at aLL
“how’s the decorating going?” you ask, giggling lightly when namjoon nudges his nose under your jaw before planting a kiss against your neck
“it’s going fine… yoongi isn’t helping, obviously. i handed him one bauble to hang and he hooked it on the collar of his hoodie and told me he’d do it later.”
“mm.”
a brief moment passes where the only sound that can be heard is the carrot you’re shredding against the grater
namjoon purses his lips as he thinks about what yoongi just said to him
...
ah
fuck it
“hey, can i ask you something?” namjoon sighs, smiling in delight when you suddenly turn your head to press a sweet little kiss into his cheek
“mhm!” you turn back, continuing to grate away
“it’s not a big deal or anything, but, uh... when were you planning on telling me about that nice little dream you had two weeks ago?” namjoon asks cockily, biting back a grin when he feels you freeze in his arms
it’s at this moment that the fact that you had a wet dream about him has finally sunk into the depths of his brain and now he’s actually feeling... really good about it
you had a sex dream about him
what’s not to love?
he can almost hear the alarms wailing in your head
and now that he’s got the ball rolling- he’s not as nervous as he thought he’d be!
as a matter of fact... this could be fun.
“w-” you clear your throat quietly and the half-shredded carrot drops into the metal bowl with a muted plunk, “i- what dream? i didn’t have a dream about you.”
he knows you’re trying to play it cool but he can see how tightly you’re gripping the grater and he can feel your ears getting hotter against his cheek
“i never said the dream was about me.”
oh, shit
you messed up
“so...?” namjoon moves your hair to the other side before leaning in to plant a warm kiss under your jaw, “this dream that you had… about me. tell me what happened in it.”
you swallow thickly, the gears working overtime in your brain as you try to come up with some kind of an excuse to get yourself out of this situation
you know that now isn’t the most appropriate moment to be thinking about this but you’re 100% going to slaughter yoongi the moment you get a chance to
the secret ingredient to make these cupcakes taste good will not be love
it will be BLEACH
you can’t believe he ratted you out like that!!
how embarrassing!!
“you were-” you cough, “um, you were… you… we…”
oh boy
this is already a train wreck
this is exactly why you didn’t want to tell namjoon about it!
because you know yourself and you knEW you were going to get all flustered and twitchy bringing it up
“well, i was-” you pause, “i was sitting on- sitting on the counter-”
“this one right here?” namjoon’s hand leaves your waist to pat the surface of the counter lightly and you nod gingerly, staring down at his obscenely pretty fingers, “what else?”
“that was it.” you blurt out, “the end!”
namjoon steps back a little and spins you around quickly before pressing you up against the counter, “what else, y/n?”
he traps you in between his arms and you fight the urge to explode into a million bits
oh god
okay
just tell him!
just SAY it
it’s time to get it over with!!
“you were…” your eyes flicker downwards and your nose scrunches slightly
you really don’t want to say it but you don’t think you can back out at this point because you’ve already said too much
“…eating me out.” you force out before averting your gaze and looking off to the side
you really wish there was a better way to say that because the phrase eating me out just sounds so… in your face, you know?
namjoon swallows thickly
so you had a dream about him eating you out?
“y/n, there’s really nothing to be embarrassed about, i promise-” namjoon laughs lightly when he notices your entire face starting to go red
you let out a particularly pathetic whine before leaning your forehead against his chest and gently shoving at his (firm) abdomen
“what’s the problem?” he asks, rubbing comforting circles into your back, “i think about you, you know.”
“you’re just saying that…” you mumble, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose, “you’re lying...”
“no, i’m serious!” namjoon pulls away to look at you, “i… i think about you. i think about things.”
you blink twice
he thinks about you
he thinks about things
he thinks about you?
he thinks about things??
…what kind of things does he think about?
“y-you do?”
“of course i do.”
“oh.”
a moment of silence ticks by
“i think about a lot of things, y/n.”
“like what?” you look up at him, the corner of namjoon’s pretty mouth curling upwards
“you really wanna know?”
“yes.” you respond a little too quickly before clearing your throat quietly, “…please.”
“hm.” he smiles, “as polite as always-”
you gasp in surprise when namjoon suddenly lifts you up and plops you down on the countertop in one swift movement and your stomach flutters at how effortlessly he just did that
wowie
he places both hands flat on the surface on either side of you before looking up at you with his head tilted slightly
you keep your hands folded in your lap, nervously picking at the worn edges of the sweatshirt you’re wearing (it’s namjoon’s coffee-coloured sweatshirt that you ‘borrowed’ from him)
“mostly about fucking you into the headboard.” namjoon confesses, a smirk twitching at the corner of his mouth when he notices the way your eyes flicker
oh
you definitely seemed to like that idea
“i think about your fingers pulling at my hair when i have my face in between your legs...” he hums, trailing a finger up from your kneecap to your thigh, “i think about how pretty you’d look bent over the counter for me. i think about the sounds you’d make, how soft your moans and gasps would be… i especially like thinking about you moaning my name. i think about you riding me wearing nothing but that cute little apron of yours - you know, the one with the little honeybees on them?”
“apron’s in the.. in the washing machine.” your breathing’s become a bit more shallow and you haven’t blinked in nearly a minute so it’s safe to say that he has your attention
“you know… i think you know what you do to me when you walk around wearing nothing but one of my sweatshirts and a pair of panties, or when you come out of the shower wrapped in a little towel because you ‘forgot’ your clothes in the bedroom…” namjoon murmurs lowly, “and don’t think i don’t notice the way you look at me whenever you suck frosting off your fingers.”
“frosting?” you whisper, namjoon nodding as his eyes flicker down to your lips briefly
your tongue pokes out to swipe over your bottom lip for a split second
“that’s right.” the metal bowl scrapes against the counter as namjoon drags it over and you jump in surprise at the feeling of the chilled metal bumping up against your bare thigh
“you think you’re so innocent, don’t you?” namjoon chuckles lowly, lifting the spatula up before swiping some frosting off of it with the side of his thumb, “you think i don’t know what you’re up to?”
“i don’t…” you trail off, going cross-eyed when namjoon’s hand comes closer only for his pointer finger to tap at your bottom lip
“you do. open.”
you’re just a little thrown off because namjoon’s never... you’ve never seen him like this before
he’s never spoken to you like this before
he’s never looked at you like this before
you’re certainly not complaining, of course
“you taunt me because you like to-” you can’t seem to break away from namjoon’s gaze, the side of his pointer finger hooking underneath your chin as he pushes his thumb into your mouth, “i know you do it on purpose.”
almost immediately, the taste of sweet vanilla frosting washes over your palette
“you want me to think about you, don’t you?” namjoon swallows a groan when you start sucking, your cheeks hollowing slightly as your tongue swirls around his thumb to make sure no frosting gets left behind, “you like the thought of that? like leaving me high and dry because it forces me to use my own imagination?”
(admittedly, yes. a little part of you likes the thought of you completely consuming every corner of namjoon’s mind... just a little part, though.)
you nod slowly in response with glazed over eyes and namjoon clenches his jaw
fuck
he flattens his thumb down on your tongue to get you to open your mouth a little more for him and hums contently when you do so obediently
a thin line of spit stretches from your tongue to namjoon’s slick thumb as he pulls his hand away and you don’t even get a chance to register whatever that moment was before he’s leaning forward to slant his mouth over yours
namjoon kisses you purposefully, pulling you closer to him as you fist at his shirt tightly
he savours the faint sweetness of the frosting left behind on your tongue and can’t help but smile when he hears you whimper
“can i tell you something?” namjoon pulls away only to start sponging kisses to your neck and you tilt your head to the side for him
“uh-huh, y-yeah-” you nod quickly, slinging an arm around his neck to keep him close while the other hand grips at his shoulder
your eyes roll to the back of your head for a split second and you can’t help but quietly mouth an ‘oh my god’ to yourself because you never knew it could feel this good to have your neck kissed
“i think it’s hot as fuck that you had a wet dream about me,” namjoon groans lowly and you immediately feel a zing! of electricity travel straight down south from the sound of him speaking to you in such a deep, gravelly voice, “and you definitely don’t have to be shy about asking me to touch you… because i’m very willing to do so.”
“i want you to- w-want you to touch me-” you stutter, feeling your cheeks warm from hearing those words come out of your mouth, “want it so bad-”
your eyes pop open when namjoon suddenly pulls away and you frown, instantly missing the feeling of him being pressed up so tightly against you
“lift your hips-” namjoon pushes the bowl of frosting to the side before tapping two fingers on your upper thigh, “-up off the counter.”
?
your brows knit together in confusion
why would you-
your eyes widen in realisation when it dawns on you what exactly is happening here
“w-what-” you glance at the (for the most part, closed) kitchen door frantically before looking down at joon, “but yoongi’s in the-” you turn back and jump in surprise when you see that namjoon’s face is right in front of yours
you’re practically nose to nose with him
“i know.” namjoon leans in to give you a quick peck before pulling away with a particularly smug grin, “so you’re just going to have to stay quiet for me then, aren’t you?”
you WHAT
“why don’t we get these off, hm?” namjoon hooks a finger into the waistband of your shorts and gives it a gentle tug
you look at the door once again and then back at namjoon, who offers you an innocent little smile as if he didn’t just suggest going down on you on the kitchen counter with your friend in the room next door
okay
think about this!
think about this with your logical brain and not your bonk horny brain
would you rather see your very hot boyfriend’s face in between your legs or would you rather send him away so you can continue making a cake for your very picky friend?
…
you plant both palms on the counter before raising your hips a little, namjoon grinning in victory before yanking your shorts down in one go
if you would’ve known this was going to happen today you definitely would’ve worn a sexier pair of panties
white cotton is boring!!!
also you know this is the wrong time to be thinking this but you’re wondering if it would be possible to rope yoongi into a shopping spree at victoria’s secret next week because you’re going to need better looking panties if namjoon’s going to keep springing these spontaneous sessions on you
“cute.” namjoon hums, poking at the little blue bow that sits at the centre of the waistband
your breathing stills as he slowly lowers himself to his knees in front of you and you feel like your heart is about to beat out of your chest at the sight alone
“soaked right through…” namjoon observes quietly, turning his head to press a kiss to the pillowy flesh of your inner thigh, “i’ve barely touched you, baby.”
you jolt in surprise when he runs his thumb slowly up your slit through the thinned fabric of your panties, though he stops right as he’s about to reach your clit
so close yet so, so painfully far
you nudge him with your foot, “you’re teasing.” you swallow thickly, namjoon offering you a boyish grin as he tilts his head, pushing his bottom lip out in a mocking pout
“aw… am i?” he coos, and you shiver when he leans in to press a kiss over your clothed clit, “i’m sorry, darling… that must be so hard for you…”
“and you’re being mean.” you murmur, namjoon chuckling to himself as he pulls your panties down your legs
“am not.”
“are too.”
“am not.” namjoon perks a brow, pushing your thighs apart gently, “take it back.”
“no wa-!” your back immediately straightens as if a jolt of electricity just shot straight up your spine at the first feeling of namjoon licking one long stripe up your centre, and you fight back the urge to snap your legs shut
that’s.,., new!
very new
very new feeling
you’re certainly not against it and it’s not a bad feeling
it’s just…
new
“good?” your breath wavers when namjoon hums against you, your eyelids fluttering shut at the feeling of his tongue slowly pressing in deep, “hm?”
namjoon slips his tongue in between your folds before sliding it flat and straight up to your swollen clit, grinning to himself when you finally give in to pleasure and lie back on the counter
you whimper, rolling your hips down towards his mouth as he drags his tongue over your slit in repetitive strokes before flicking his tongue over the top of your clit
it’s too much and not enough at the same time, your legs instinctively starting to squeeze shut around him
“nuh-uh, baby…” you find that you can barely move, namjoon’s fingers digging into your thigh as a warning as he keeps your legs open, “keep them spread for me.”
namjoon watches your reaction intensely, finding pleasure in the way that your chest rises and falls quickly and in the way you twitch every now and again
from here, he can see the way your brows furrow and the way you bite and tug at your bottom lip in a poor effort to keep yourself quiet
“you can use your words like a good girl, can’t you?” namjoon teases, two fingers rolling tight little circles into your clit as he watches you, barely blinking, “tell me how good it feels…”
“good- ungh, feels good-” you whimper, hips bucking up against his fingers desperately
namjoon looks down to see you practically dripping onto the counter
jesus
he would’ve done this a lot sooner had he known you’d be acting like this from his touch
“fuck me,” namjoon groans suddenly, and all of a sudden it seems like everything’s moving ten times faster than before, “you look so fucking hot right now-”, he wraps his strong arms underneath both your thighs before yanking you closer to him, practically burying his entire face in between your legs
your right leg gets hitched up over his shoulder and you quickly sit back up, digging your fingers into the soft strands of namjoon’s hair as his tongue laves back and forth against your folds
your back arches and you tilt your head up towards the ceiling, namjoon instinctively pushing his clothed crotch against the bottom part of the counter for some kind of relief
he’s so painfully hard from just hearing you hold back moans and watching you squirm and twitch
you remind yourself to loosen your grip on namjoon’s hair because you’re worried that you might accidentally rip some strands out and leave him with a bald patch, but namjoon obviously doesn’t seem to mind as he doubles his efforts and starts to lick and and suck with tremendous fervour
“fuck, you taste good-” he curses, his right hand sliding underneath your sweatshirt to cup your bare breast before he pinches and rolls your nipple in between his fingers
he drags his tongue down to circle around your tight hole and you jerk immediately, “oh my god-” you pant, overwhelmed by all the different feelings your body is experiencing at this moment, “that feels so-”
your bum is teetering on the edge of the counter at this point because namjoon’s basically pulled you off of it and you reach down to grip at the edges so you don’t fall off
“gonna cum?” namjoon murmurs, eyes locking on your face almost immediately as he feels you starting to squirm underneath him
he really wants to watch you cum
“j-joonie, god, don’t stop-” the arm wrapped around your waist tightens around you and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he continues his torturous onslaught of pleasure, “i-i- nngh- namjoon-!”
“i’ve got you, baby… you can cum…” namjoon feels himself twitch in his sweats upon hearing you moan his name like that
the thought of gagging you with your own panties to mute your moans briefly flits through his mind but... he wants to hear you moaning his name over and over and over again
he wants to make you scream for him
when it happens, you practically bite your bottom lip off trying not to cry out in ecstasy
namjoon has to hold your trembling thighs open to keep them from snapping his head right off
your hips buck lazily as you quiver around namjoon’s hot tongue, your body glistening in a sheen layer of sweat as you bask in the slow, rolling waves of ecstasy
you lie back down against the counter, chest heaving beneath your sweater as you stare dazedly up at the ceiling
oh, wow
you watch as the ceiling fan whirrs around and around and around
you feel like you’re not physically here right now
like your soul left your body and you’re just floating in the air like a bunch of particles
“-!” you twitch when namjoon carefully wipes you off with your panties before setting them onto the counter next to you
you slowly prop yourself up onto your elbows so you can look at him, feeling your cheeks flush when you see that he’s looking right at you
you’re not sure why you’ve gone all shy again as if his tongue wasn’t licking you out ten seconds ago
“hi, pretty girl...” he smiles, his dimple popping up in his right cheek, “welcome back.” he jokes, rising to his feet while keeping your right leg propped up onto his shoulder
he turns to give your ankle a kiss before gently bringing your leg down and helping you sit up
“that was really something...” you wrap your arms loosely around his neck as he grasps your hips before leaning down to give you a sweet little kiss
“oh yeah? did i live up to dreamjoon?” namjoon teases, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before pinching the apple of your cheek
“you did a much better job than dreamjoon.” you hum, and it’s only then that you’re aware of the very prominent bulge pressing into your centre, “but i... i wanna make you feel good, too…” you murmur, namjoon biting back a groan when you nudge your bare centre against him, a darkened splotch now staining the front of his sweatpants “and…” you lean upwards to whisper something into namjoon’s ear
...
...
holy shit
yes please
“yeah, shit, we can definitely do that-” namjoon hates to admit to how horny he is but he can’t help it when you go around saying stuff like that to him, “we-” he pauses suddenly, eyes going wide in panic, “oh, shit!”
“wh- what??” you look around the kitchen frantically before grabbing the closest thing to you as a form of defence (a silicone whisk)
“friggin’ yoongi-!” namjoon hisses in pain as he adjusts himself in his sweatpants, “i forgot about yoongi-”
okay
a little weird of him to be thinking about yoongi while he’s touching his-
“oh my god, yoongi!” you hiss quietly, hopping off the counter with wobbly legs
namjoon hands you your shorts and you quickly wiggle into them before pulling your sweatshirt down
you completely forgot that yoongi was in the room right next to you guys and that last moan of yours wasn’t exactly quiet
and you know that yoongi might not have a lot of knowledge when it comes to baking, but you’re sure that he knows enough to know that practically screaming namjoon’s name out loud isn’t a key step in achieving a fluffy cake batter
“we weren’t doing anything!”
the two of you stumble out into the living room and you file through your brain to come up with some kind of a logical excuse as to why you’re hot and sweaty and why namjoon’s hiding his lower half behind a kitchen towel and how in the world those two facts are related to his precious carrot cake cupcakes
you pause when you notice that yoongi’s nowhere to be found
?
the documentary’s still playing on the TV, the boxes of tinsel and baubles have been completely abandoned, and there’s nothing but a blue sticky note sitting on the couch
taking a nap in my car. text me when you guys are done being horny. also - you’re welcome.
christmas with cee 2020 masterlist
🎁what would you like from ceenta this year? 🎁
