Core idea

The Existing Flaw

Walking back into the familiar smoked up place, I met a few people I'd gotten to know under another cover. The few friends I still had here, made it easier to just slip right in and stay without being suspicious of anything. Of course, there's always someone asking what I've doing the days I haven't been by, but always had the most boring story ever to tell, so in the end they just didn't wanted to hear anymore and just get back to having a good time. Even though nerves are a good thing in specific situations, I just wasn't nervous at all. The second I set foot back in here, the world outside no longer existed and I was deeply gone in my alter ego. I has gotten so used to it that it was just as easy as walking. As I would learn later on, that's not always a good thing.

When I was 5 years old, my brother disappeared without a trace. And still to this day, no one knows what happened to him. The case was cold even from before my parents realized he was gone. The only thing I remember at that time was the fact that I was confused and didn't understand what was going on. And I never really got to ask about it, cause a few years later, my parents were killed in a car accident. I remember that night being the last time I cried. And from the age of 8 to 17, I lived in several different foster homes, having both trouble connecting with anyone, but also several parents that didn't feel like they were ready or could handle it. It's not like I was ever a problem child. But having lost my entire family within just a few years, I think subconciously, I just didn't wanted to be commited to or caring for someone else, only to have them taken away from me again. With all the moving around, I guess I was right.

The first kiss changed everything. And I think my heart knew it at the time. But having lost everything at a very young age and never having anyone in my life to love, I guess my head just wasn't ready to believe it just yet. But even if it had hit me back then, I don't know what I would've done. But that's the thing, isn't it. You never know until you're in the moment.

When you’re betrayed by someone you thought you could trust, you feel angry and disappointed. When it’s by someone you love, you feel heartbroken. But when it’s someone you’re in love with, all of those feelings are combined and so many things run through your head, it’s almost unbareable. And in worst case scenario, the mind takes over when the heart can’t take it, and then only one thing, one word, becomes clear... revenge.