#cute!harry

The mind returns in dream

-Amy Bonner

"Did you know that Queen Victoria had a 14 year old stalker who broke into Buckingham Palace at least four times?"

"I didn't know that." Harry mumbles, turning himself on his side to look at Avery. She is lying on her back, eyes trained on the ceiling, saying anything that comes across her mind.

"Apparently he even stole her underwear once!"

"Avery, we’re supposed to sleep." There was a small bat of silence after Harry’s statement. In truth, Avery had been doing everything she could to avoid sleeping, despite agreeing to rest.

"Oh right" She murmurs, closing her eyes before opening them again. "I’m sorry. What time is it? Is it morning yet?"

"It must be around 1am."

"That's not close to morning at all," Her lips start to quiver at the realization. He watches as she takes two deep breaths, shuts her eyes, and turns to face him; the quivering coming to a stop.

"can't we drink a cup of tea? I always sleep better with tea."

Harry can hear the desperation in her voice. He can see her clinging to any possible scenario that will keep her awake. Every possibility that will prolong the inevitable. She needs sleep. At this point, more than anything.

“You’ve had more than enough tea for the night. We can make more in the morning. But first, we have to sleep." Right outside the window streetlights cast ambient light upon Avery's bedroom. The golden rays dance across her face so elegantly; so gently.

Her eyes are trained on something Harry can’t see, but he is acutely aware of her. He can see the three freckles that have made themselves home on her nose, the heart shape of her lips, the cerulean blue hue of her eyes. He’s never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life.

If only he could take a photograph. Try to capture this moment in its entirety, in all of its beauty. Show them how amazing these small, intimate moments are. Or maybe he didn't want that. Maybe he just wanted to keep her close. Keep this for him, and only him.

"What about my Valerian pills? They help me fall asleep."

"Love, don’t they make it worse?"

"Sometimes, but at least I'll be asleep." Her eyes finally trail up to his own. While his are calm and reassuring, hers are filled with fear. Fear that runs deeper than he could ever imagine.

"What do you dream about, Ave?" His fingers caress her cheek, he can feel her breath hitch as he gently brushes her hair behind her ear.

"I’ve never told anyone," She mutters, her eyes never leaving his own. Not for a second. "not anyone I cared about."

"Then let me be the first" With his hands on her cheeks, his eyes fall to her rosy lips. The familiar urge to kiss her resurfaces, flowing from his head to his toes. But he can’t, he knows he can’t. What they have is too delicate to risk.

From the moment that he had met her, he knew that she was alone. He has never seen her with anyone else, never seen her receive a text message or a phone call. To his knowledge, she doesn’t step foot out of her flat unless something important warrants her to do so.

Deep down, he knows that he is all that she’s got. The only person who is there for her in any true sense. The last thing he wants to do is ruin what they’ve created by giving in to his own urges.

Regardless of Harry's string of thoughts, their eyes meet. Sky blue on forest green. As Avery's eyes trail down to his lips, he slowly leans forward, pressing his lips to her own. The kiss is delicate and soft. With his calloused hands gently cupping her cheeks, Avery feels like that of porcelain. Like a fragile piece of glass someone is terrified to drop.

His hands drop from her face to her hip, pulling her impossibly closer. She grabs at his shirt, heavy breaths escaping as their lips briefly part. They are so close to one another, entangled with each other in every way they could, but it isn’t close enough.

His lips taste like earl grey tea and peppermint gum, a blend Avery didn’t know could be so addictive. Her lips taste of bitter coffee, but he doesn’t mind. They’re hers, that’s all that matters.

A few moments later Harry pulls back. He rests his forehead atop her own, leaving a gentle kiss to her nose as they both regain their breaths. Harry's thoughts diminish as he focuses on what’s happening now. The present. It’s only now that he can really see just how Avery is reacting. Her hands are latched tightly to his shirt, desperately trying to pull him closer. Harry's gentle call of her name does nothing to aid in her growing frustration.

He lets her pull him in once again, their lips reconnecting in a more heated kiss. She bites down on his lower lip, letting him know that he can continue. Harry slowly turns them over, leaning up with his elbows on either side of Avery's head, Avery laying on her back. And they kiss. Averys lips continue locking with his own because this feeling is so different from how numb she has felt. How she has been feeling for far too long.

For the first time that Avery can remember, she feels alive. Feeling Harry's lips on hers, feeling the warmth of his skin underneath her touch, it feels like home. Like comfort and safety, like last minute trips to the beach and drinking tea at house parties. It feels like everything finally coming together.

If only she could stay here for the rest of her life - stay right here, in this moment. Forever. Then everything would be alright. No worries, no mean girls, no nightmares, no sleepless nights. None of it. She would be okay. She could handle every thought spiral, every mean word, every single doubt, if she knew that she could come home to this. Know that she could feel Harry's lips on hers at the end of the day.

The small sounds Avery is emitting make Harry slow his movements down "Ave..." he mumbles in between kisses. “Hey hey hey, it’s okay… slow down, love. It’s okay.”

She can’t look into his eyes, he sees the tears welling up in them. Her whimpers only grow louder once she knows that he is aware of them, worrying him even more. In an effort to calm her, Harry starts trailing kisses down her face.

“I’m not going to hurt you… I am never going to hurt you… I don't ever want to do that.” She hasn’t said a word to him in an alarming amount of time, not letting him know what is going on in her head. His kisses trail down her jaw before pressing softly into her neck, right above her pulse point. “Talk to me, love. Please say something…”

“You will leave…” She says it so quietly that he almost misses it. But when those three words hit his ears his own eyes begin to water. He immediately stops his actions, softly cupping her cheeks in his hands. Her lips quivers once again before she whispers “I don’t want you to leave, Harry.”

"I won’t, Avery. I’m not going to leave." He reassures her, pushing another strand of hair out of her face as a few tears roll down her cheeks. "Look at me, please... I know you’re scared, I know. This is something new for the both of us, and new things are always scary."

"God I'm pathetic," Harry wipes the tears away from her cheeks, looking down at the girl below him with empathetic eyes. "I'm sorry"

“It’s okay. You’re not pathetic. If anyone here is pathetic, it’s me because I am just so smitten by you!”

Avery giggles as Harry presses one final kiss to her lips, both of them smiling into it like lovesick idiots. His arms wrap around her before turning them over, settling into a comfortable silence.

“Are you going to be able to sleep?” Avery nods her head, looking up at Harry.

"Do you promise you’ll wake me?" Her head is lying on his chest, right above his heart, and his arm is tightly wrapped around her petite frame.

"I'll wake you, I promise."

“Mommy!” I cry, hitting the cellar door with my fists. I can see a little bit of light from under the door, it shines on the staircase all the way down to the floor. I’ve been trying to get her to come here for a while, I don’t know if she can hear me.

“Mommy! it’s really cold…” I still don’t hear her. Hitting the door that many times makes both of my hands hurt. I sit up against the wall next to the door, shivering. The wall is just as cold as everything else. The stones in it hurt my back as I sit.

I got to talk to Daddy on the phone a couple days ago, and he said we would go to the park today. I really want to go, but I don’t know where he is. I don’t want to be here anymore, not with Mommy. I just want to go upstairs to my room. Sleep in my bed with all my stuffed animals and my blankie. Maybe I could stay with Daddy after the park.

“Can I please have my blankie?… Please, Mommy. It’s really really cold!” Sheepy is sitting against the wall opposite me. I grab him and hold him close to my chest. “Are you cold, Sheepy?” I pet his fur, but it’s not as soft as it used to be, and he is missing one of his button eyes. It fell off earlier today.

“Don’t worry, Daddy is gonna take us to the park soon. He promised, remember?”

There is a very loud noise and I scream as the door slams open. Before I can move out of the way, I am falling down the stairs. My head hits the wall and all it’s stones many times before I hit the bottom. I open my eyes and see the bottom of the staircase, my eyes all blurry as I cry out to Mommy. She is standing all the way at the door.

“Mommy!” I try to walk towards her, but my head is so dizzy I can barely move. As soon as I stand I fall back down again. “Please let me out… I know i’ve been bad, but Daddy wants to take me to-“

“Your Father isn’t coming today, so be quiet! For god's sake, how many times do I have to tell you to stop screaming!” She starts walking down the stairs.

“But he promised he would…” All of a sudden I can hear a loud slap, Mommy’s hand hitting my cheek really hard. My ears start to ring as my head hits the hard concrete floor. She stands over me as I keep crying. I can see Sheepy laying on his side not far from me.

"Listen! I don't care what your father said, I need you to be quiet. Understood?"

"Yes, mommy. But can you fix Sheepys eye? Please? It fell off earlier and I can’t put it back on." I grab Sheepy and hold him out to her, she takes him out of my hand. I pull his button eye out of my pocket, keeping it in my hand. "Here's his eye."

Mommy huffs, looking at Sheepy but then she turns around and starts walking up the stairs, his eye still in my hand.

"No! NO! Mommy, the button, you have to take his eye to fix him! He can’t see without his eye! Please don't take Sheepy away from me, please!" I stand up super fast, still very dizzy, and try to walk to the stairs. But Mommy is too far away to hear me and I can’t reach her anymore. I can hear the door close; leaving me down here all by myself.

I lay back down on the floor, it feels even colder down here now. My whole body hurts. I am cold and all alone.

Avery wakes up without a sound. Everything is silent; impossibly still. The silhouette of a tree looms over the room, encasing the space in it’s dark, sinister shadow.

Hot, heavy tears stream down her face, her breath beginning to quicken. Every inch of her body hurts, every movement awakening an ache she didn’t know was there. But of course it hurts, the fall just happened yesterday. How couldn’t it hurt? No body could heal after only a few hours time from something like that. She can feel bruises beginning to bloom beneath her skin, no doubt covering most of her body.

Her anxious eyes roam over her surroundings. She is not locked in the cellar, but sitting atop a bed. It is still cold, so very cold, but comfortable and familiar. She can’t quite place it. Only now is the body laying peacefully by her side of notice to her. Harry is still asleep, his head resting mere inches from her thigh. Harry… where did he come from? Has he just arrived? Did he see the bruises?

The sound of a car backfiring rang through the silence, making Avery jump and her head shoot to the window overlooking the London street. her motion startled Harry awake, he began to stir beside her.

His eyes opened slowly, his gaze falling upon her figure. She was visibly shaking, tears streaming down her face. She looked terrified. At this sight, he was wide awake, quickly sitting upwards.

"Oh Avery, I'm sorry I-I didn't hear you-"

"My arm hurts really bad, Harry." She whimpers, cradling her left arm to her chest. "It hurts so much."

"Where does it hurt?" He carefully reaches out to her, his fingers softly brushing over her skin. To the touch, she was ice cold. No wonder she was shivering.

"Everything hurts…" Harry slowly pulls her towards him, encasing her shivering figure in two blankets before settling her body between his outstretched legs, wrapping both of his arms around her. His hands are rubbing up and down the expanse of her back, the motion attempting to soothe all the distress. Her head rests between his neck and shoulder.

"Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs," Her cries grew to hiccuping sobs, her breath irregular and too fast for her lungs to process. Harry freezes at her words.

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

"And now everything hurts, Harry. Look at all the bruises." Her words are spoken through heartbreaking sobs. He looks over her, searching for any evidence of the fall, but nothing can be seen. There aren't any bruises on her, no visible ones anyway. Just her cold, pale, flawless skin. She's hallucinating, she thinks her dream happened yesterday.

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

"It's going to be okay, Ave... just breathe" Harry murmurs into her hair, his hand resting gently on the back of her head, lightly pushing it farther into his neck. And as Avery concentrates on her breathing, tears fill Harry's eyes, quietly running down his cheeks.

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

"Look... the bruises are already gone." He lifts her blankets ever so slightly, letting his fingertips run over her skin. Harry delicately lifts her arm to his lips, pressing soft kisses to it. Starting at her hands, he trails them all the way up to her shoulder before moving to the other arm. "No more bruises, angel. See?"

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

She nods slowly, pressing her head against his racing heart, her tears now beginning to dry on her raw cheeks. After a few minutes, Harry can feel her stable breaths against his neck. The small puffs of warm air signalling that she has fallen back asleep.

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

Harry looks down at her, replaying what has just occurred over in his mind. He leans his head down, Kissing the top of Averys head as all of it catches up with him. He can’t help the sob that escaped his lips, the weight of it shaking his chest, tears falling from his eyes.

At the sudden movement, Avery shoots up. Raising her head to look at him, her eyes meeting his own. A worried expression plastered across her tear stained face.

"What’s happened?" She exclaims, her hands coming up to rest on his cheeks, eyes searching what could have caused him to cry. "Harry, don't cry... is everything alright? Please tell..."

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

That's enough for him to know that she doesn't remember waking up. Doesn't remember crying to him about all the pain. Telling him what happened. "It's nothing," He manages to let out, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead, then her nose, before leaving a lingering one on her lips. "I'm just so happy that you're here with me. That you’re safe."

"I'm happy too." She smiles softly. She wants to press further about what has happened, but she knows now is not the right time. Harry laces their fingers together before bringing their joined hands to his lips, trying his hardest to push all of this out of his mind.

It takes half an hour for the both of them to get settled into bed again. Harry leaving Avery's side only to steep her a cup of peppermint tea. With time, she fell back asleep, this one being dreamless. With her finally at rest, Harry was left awake, watching over her carefully. His hand rests atop her cheek, his thumb carting over the soft skin, letting her know that he is right by her side.

Yesterday... she pushed me down the stairs.

✨next

✨previous

✨masterlist

✨wattpad

Taglist: if you would like to be added please interact with this post

@serenametanoia @magicalmongerherringfan @caliqueenbed @thebestthingyouneverhad @ramstermind @xovcnus @maisley

not working/ couldn’t tag

Sometimes, I think you get the worst of me

“Can I take a photo of you?”

Avery turns her head to look at Harry. He was sitting on the floor, leaning against the green sofa with Oliver in his lap. His camera clutched in his hands.

“I always look so sick in photos.” Her head falls back on the cushion as she closes her eyes, momentarily resting them. She thinks back to the dream she had a couple of nights ago, the scenes playing in her head like her own personal movie. The scenes playing before her closed eyes were better ones, happier things were happening. She was glad that she got a small break from what they usually entailed.

Soon, the sound of a camera shutter breaks her peaceful daze. The streetlamps illuminated the ceiling, giving it a soft, yellow glow. Avery wasn’t sure that she had ever really looked at the pattern on her ceiling until now, though countless nights were spent exactly like this. “We should go to the beach.”

The ceiling is divided into squares with thick edges, and with the glow from the streetlamps, it almost looked like a cloudy night sky. “We can’t just go to the beach.”

“Why not?” Harry questions, the shutter click echoing through the apartment again. “Me and my mom used to drive down to East Sussex.” Third click. “Camber Sands is down there. If we left now, we would be there by the time the sun rises.”

“I'm tired Harry, and that's got to be at least a two and a half-hour drive.”

“Everything is different by the sea, Ave. Have you ever been?”

“No…”

“Then it's settled. Let’s go.” The fourth time the camera goes off makes her turn around, but Harry is already quick on his feet, scaring Oliver in the process. He makes a quick escape through the open balcony window.

“I don't know…”

“I'll buy you ice cream. Three scoops.”

“Four.”

“Deal.” He puts on his boots and retrieves his keys from the counter while Avery watches him from her spot on the sofa.

“Are you serious?” She giggles as Harry puts his camera around his neck, waiting for her to follow him.

“Life is to be lived, Ave.”

‘So she grabs another hoodie, a blanket, and a bottle of water before making her way towards him. As they descended down the stairs, for the first time she could see the different colors around her. She had always been able to see them, but this time it was different. Everything seems so much more vibrant

She saw different shades of yellow and green, even a little bit of red. It wasn’t just blue, blue, blue. Avery runs after Harry, after the colors because the further away he is, the darker it gets. She picks up her pace, trying to catch up with him.

“Thought I’d leave without you?” He grins, holding the passenger door of the car open for her.

“No.” She lies with a smile, trying to just enjoy this moment. This moment is now, and she doesn’t want to be stuck in the past any longer.

“My sister used to take this car a lot, so there's got to be a hair tie somewhere,” Harry says, his eyes moving back and forth between the dark street in front of them and the interior of the car. “Take a look in the glove compartment.”

He’s right. Under numerous papers that had been shoved inside the small space was a leopard print scrunchie. “Found one!” Avery cheers, putting her hair in a low ponytail. “I didn’t know you had a sister.”

“Yeah, her name is Gemma, she lives abroad.” He explains. “In a way, her job reminds me a lot of Chandler Bing, because I’ve honestly no clue what she really does, but she travels a lot for it.”

“That must be difficult, I don't know if I could do that. Pack up my life every six months.”

“It's quite perfect for her, I think she would go crazy if she had to stay in a single place for longer than a year or two. What about you? Do you have any siblings?”

“No,” She says quietly. “And, if I’m honest, I didn't want any.”

“Isn’t a sibling something everyone wants?”

“I guess I just… they don’t deserve that… no one does…”

He stays quiet for a while after that. Did I say too much? The air suddenly felt colder, so many unanswered questions flying about. Harry couldn't find the right one to ask, so he just went with the basics. “What's your favorite color?”

“Green.”

“Ha! That's the color of my eyes, does that mean you fancy me?” a childish grin plastered onto his face.

“What? Your eyes are not green. Look at me!” She knew they were green, it was hard not to notice. But, she wanted to feed into his antics for a bit. It seemed to be lifting the tension.

“I’m driving, Ave. That's not gonna work.” He laughs, focusing his gaze back on the road as more cars started to make their way onto the once quiet street.

“Harry?’’

“Hm?”

“Who is your roommate? At your party I had accidentally stumbled into a bedroom, thinking it was the bathroom. There was a guy in there by himself.” She had never told him about the strange encounter she had that night, thinking that Harry would have asked her about it at some point. After not being brought up for some time, she figured he wasn’t going to and left it at that.

“Oh, you mean Francis… you met? He didn't mention anything.”

“He had told me that several other people had walked into his room instead of the bathroom, that's probably why… so, he’s your friend?”

“Yeah… we’ve known each other for ages, since about grade one I believe.” There is something in his voice that doesn't seem right. He seemed saddened by the sudden mention of his friend, almost like he hadn't fully prepared for the topic to be brought up.

“Francis is probably the kindest, most generous person I know. He is much better than me, and I honestly don't know why he has stuck with me for this long. You should meet him. He's not fond of meeting new people, but nevertheless, he would be nothing but nice to you.”

“I'd love that.” Avery smiles. The smile doesn’t leave her face while Harry continues on about Francis.

“We should have taken him with us.”

“He is with his parents at the moment.”

“Oh, well maybe next time.”

“Yeah,” Harry murmurs. “Next time.”

✨ next

✨ previous

✨ masterlist

✨ wattpad

Taglist: if you would like to be added, please let me know!

All I do is mend to break you free

When he was twelve, Harry had attended his first piano lesson. He had heard the melody on the radio on the car ride back from school, and even though he couldn't recall its name, the melody was stuck in his head the entire day.

The sound of the keys, soft in the beginning but growing more desperate as the song went on amazed him. It made him want to learn how to do that, how to convey your emotions without using a single word.

At dinner, he had told his parents, upon first listen they were skeptical. Maybe it was because he had previously taken recorder lessons and violin lessons, neither sticking with him for long, but in the end, they decided to give it a try.

Harry never got good at the piano. He tried and he tried, he did. He tried so hard, but he never got where he had wanted to be. Somewhen he had forgotten the melody that had made him want to learn in the first place, and along with the melody, his ambitions vanished as well. Now he was able to play some things, just enough to fool someone who couldn’t play at all.

You didn’t need to know anything about the instrument to notice that Avery’s piano was completely out of tune. It was a beautiful instrument, a black sohmar, a decent brand that doesn't age well.

Harry made himself another tea at midnight, not a single noise had come from the bedroom and he had checked in Avery several times. Each time she had been curled up into a tight ball, as if she had been trying to attain the smallest ounce of warmth, and she had a small frown on her face. She looked like a small child.

While he waited for the kettle to boil, he called Francis. Francis was staying at his parent’s house for a couple of weeks, and knowing how he felt about being there, Harry called often. He picked up after the first ring.

“Hello?” Francis’s groggy voice answered, the sound made a small smile appear on Harry's face.

“Hey Fran, how are you?” Harry opened the cabinet to look for anything other than the bitter peppermint tea, only seeking out a single bag of earl grey. With a shrug, he dropped it into his cup.

“I’m okay,” Francis replied, and he could hear him chuckle at the usage of his old nickname, one that hadn’t been used in a while. “My parents are watching me 24/7, I feel like I’m in a zoo with the word fragile written all over me.”

“But your mom makes that amazing lasagna, so you have no choice but to forgive them.”

“She’s on a health kick now, so all my dad and I are getting is salads and stirred vegetables.”

“We should get takeout when you’re back, from that restaurant we both like,” Harry suggested, pouring the hot water over the questionable tea bag.

“Yeah, we should do that…”

“When are you coming back?”

“Three weeks maybe? My parents want to drive up to my cousin's bar mitzvah next week.” Harry knew how much Francis hated family gatherings, and hoped that his change of tone was because of the bar mitzvah and not the usual thoughts that lurked in the back of his mind.

They talked for a few more minutes. “Are you okay?”

“Of course, sorry I don't feel well. Must be all the healthy stuff…” His reply comes a little too fast, and in his head, all that Francis hears is his usual desperate pleas. Harry, I wish you were here. They make me sick, all of them. Please. Please, just take me home.

“Okay.” It comes out more of a whisper. “Three weeks.”

“Three weeks.”

After the call had ended, Harry layed down on the sofa. Earlier that evening he had let in Oliver, who had been scratching on the window. The feline was now sitting opposite of him on the sofa, watching his every movement. “What're you looking at?” Oliver lets out a meow before licking his paw.

“You’re a bit of a twat, you know that? Leaving your owner all of the time to find shelter here. That's a bit rude. But, I think you make Ave happy, so please keep coming.” Oliver jumps up onto the coffee table.

“Except if there are other people you visit. That would be cheating, and we don’t tolerate that here. We should-”

The ear-piercing, agony filled NO that echoed through the small apartment made both Harry and the cat jump.

“Please! Please stop! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It won't happen again…”

Don’t wake me if I have a nightmare, okay?

What? Why?

Just please don’t wake me. You have to promise me.

Okay, I promise.

As soon as he heard her desperate cries, he knew that he would be breaking his promise. How is possible that the small, introverted, quiet Avery could scream like that? Her voice filled with so much pain, agony, and pure terror. She sounded like she was dying. It was absolutely horrible.

He felt helpless and for a moment he wasn’t able to move. He could only listen to her cries and his entire body went completely numb.

After taking a deep breath, he quickly made his way into her bedroom, and what he saw made his heart physically hurt. Avery was curled up, gripping her sheets, knuckles long-gone white, her cheeks were completely soaked in tears, and she was biting her lip so hard that it drew blood. Her screams never lessened, still filling the small space with agonizing cries.

“Avery…” Harry mumbles, trying so desperately to find his voice, just to speak louder. Just to help her. He needed to help her. “Avery please… please wake up.” His shaking hand carefully reached out to touch her shoulder, gaining no reaction from her. “Ave… don’t- you need to wake up…”

“Avery!” He finally managed to gain some control over his voice. The sound of her name made the girl jump back. For a second, she looked completely and utterly lost. Harry watched as her troubled mind slowly made its way back.

“Harry,” She whispered, lips quivering. “I’m bleeding… Harry, it hurts… it really hurts.” Her voice breaks like delicate glass, she brings the sheets even closer to her, her grip on them only growing tighter.

“Where Ave? Where are you bleeding? Where does it hurt?” He carefully sits down on the edge of her bed, leaving a small distance between them.

“The back of my head… I-I smashed it… It's bleeding.”

“Should I look?”

Her shaking halts for a small moment before nodding her head, turning around so Harry could examine the back of her head. He slowly moved closer, carefully parting her soft hair, but he found nothing. There was no blood, no wound, only a sizable scar that had healed long ago.

“You’re not bleeding Ave…”

The girl turns back around. “No, there has to be! I hit my head, Harry. I hit my head super hard and there was blood. It hurts, It hurt so bad!”

“There’s no blood Avery. Everything is okay… come here.” He opens his arms as her exhausted body almost falls into his embrace. “It hurts…”

“I know, Love, I know… but it's going to pass.”

“Is it?”

What was he supposed to say? What the fuck was he supposed to say? Nothing would ever be correct. Nothing. There was nothing that he could say that would make this right. Nothing that he could say that would make this go away.

How often does she wake up like this? How often does she wake up screaming because something horrible happened behind her closed eyes? How long had she been doing this alone?

What could he do? He wanted to make it stop. He did. He never wanted to hear her scream like that ever again. This was a sight so absolutely heartbreaking. To see her so utterly helpless. Harry wished that it was him that had to go through whatever she had to every time she tried to catch even a small moment of rest. There was nothing she could have possibly done to deserve this. Nothing.

So, he said the only thing that seemed right. It didn’t matter that it was a lie, not now anyway. That was a problem for the future. Right now, all that matters is the crying girl in his arms.

“Yes.” He said, because if he has any say in it at all, it will pass. He will make sure of it.

✨ next

✨ previous

✨ masterlist

✨ wattpad

Taglist: please let me know if you would like to be added!

One of the luckiest things to happen to you in life is, I think, to have a happy childhood

Avery had never stayed at a party till the very end. She wasn't a fan of the loud noises, the crowded space, the drunks. The atmosphere itself made her anxious. As the hand of the kitchen clock finally hit twelve, she assumed the party would start to die down. She thought people would slowly funnel out, all bidding their goodbyes and frantically making their way to the tube. Their thoughts, no doubt, thinking about the inevitable hangover they will face tomorrow. But, that didn’t happen. If anything, the party intensified. While she knew that she could go home, she didn’t want to. If she did, she would fall asleep. If she left, she would be alone.

A few minutes earlier a small group of people had formed, all of them sat around the living room. Harry, who was exhausted from showing Avery his amazing dance skills, had led her to where he was previously sitting, both of them sitting side by side on the sofa.

Francis, who sat opposite them, held up a cupcake with blue frosting and sprinkles all over it. "Okay, who made these cupcakes because they are so good! I need the recipe."

"All the credits to me," Another boy spoke up, he had black short hair and there was a golden earring dangling from his earlobe. "can't give you that recipe though, it's my mothers." He shrugs and Francis groans dramatically, making everyone laugh.

Avery sat in silence, taking everything in around her. The atmosphere started to grow on her. Harry grew worried by her silence, asking her multiple times if she was feeling okay, but she was having the time of her life. She loved hearing about everyone's family reunions, annoying relatives and friends who got married. It was so different to her life and she wished she could tell a story about her family. But she couldn't. Even Harry chimed in talking about one Christmas night when he was six and tried to catch Santa, tripping over the cable for the electric candles on the tree and causing the whole thing to fall over.

"Okay" Francis speaks up. "I want to hear the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in your childhood or teenage years. Starting with..." His eyes skimmed through the room before deciding on a ginger haired girl. "Zoe."

The stories went all over the place. From awkward kisses to first dates and failed pranks or trying to impress crushes. And before she realized, it was Avery's turn to tell her story. Her first instinct was to let them skip her, but no one in the group was having it. There wasn't anything to say, she had been homeschooled and her childhood had been not even close to any experiences here.

"Uhm... I don't really know... what to-"

"Oh come on, pet." A sudden movement in the corner of her eyes makes Avery move closer to Harry in fright. She gripped his forearm, Harry immediately noticing and taking her hand into his own, rubbing his thumb in gentle circles on the back of her palm. Eric had sat down next to her on the tiny sofa, apparently deciding to join the little circle as well. "Don't act all innocent. Tell us, what did you do as a child?"

"If you'd let her talk she'd be able to answer, mate" Harry chimed in, throwing an annoyed look at Eric.

"Nothing comes to my mind right now." She quickly rambles, trying to just get out of this situation. Being the center of attention must be high up on the list of worst things in the world she thought. The eyes of all these people fixed on her made her incredibly uncomfortable.

"Oh, so she is all innocent" Eric exclaims, his breath smelling like beer and his words almost unnoticeably slurred.

She could sense Harry roll his eyes beside her before he leaned down and whispered in her ear. "Tell something about Oliver, love."

"Oh yes!" Avery grins, embarrassed for a second at how loud her voice was. "I have a cat and he used to balance on the rail of my balcony. There was one time where I had just gotten out of the shower, still in just a towel, and I saw him balancing outside on the railing. I got super scared that he would fall off, so I ran out and grabbed him, and in the process my towel dropped which ended up in me flashing an old lady living opposite me."

"Oh my god, that sounds horrendous!" Francis laughs.

"It was horrible, I didn't step foot on that balcony for a month." She giggled less aware of all the eyes on her. They continued on but Harry was still chuckling from Avery's story. "Oliver really is a bastard, huh?"

"No" Avery laughs. "He's so cute, I just had to forgive him."

Harry shakes his head but there was still a smile on his face. His eyes meet hers and he studies her face for a moment. "You look a bit tired."

"I am" She confesses, leaning her head against his shoulder. There was no reason for denying it, especially not when she was talking to Harry.

"Do you wanna try and get some sleep tonight?"

"Not really" With the party, and Harry sleeping over the night before, there surely was a lot on her mind and Avery wasn't eager to simply sleep it all off.

"I can put a pot of coffee on?"

She sits up with a grin. "That would be amazing."

"I’ll make you a cup." Harry knew that what he was doing was wrong. He shouldn’t be encouraging her sleeping habits, or lack thereof. But, making the night most bearable for her was his top priority, and if this was how, then that was that. Case closed.

"Thank you."

He gets up and disappears in the kitchen shortly after. Avery turns her attention back to the stories being told by all the strangers sat around her. Now that Harry isn't around, she felt irritable and increadoubly out of place now that he was gone. She groans internally because she knows that she has been relying on him too much. She was dependent on him. She felt as if she was no longer independent.

When it came to her job, paying bills, doing taxes, and managing her things, she had always been independent. She had to be. But as soon as she got confronted with social interactions, she simply couldn't stop her heart from beating or her thoughts from racing.

"So.. Avery,'' Eric beside her starts, turning his body towards her and leaning back against the armrest of the sofa, a new bottle of beer in his right hand. "How old are you?"

She fiddles with the hem of her sweater, feeling his burning gaze on her. "22" Avery whispers, focusing her attention on the guy with the black hair who is telling some story that she is too far away to hear. She was trying to show Eric that she really ins't interested in talking to him, but he doesn't get the hint.

"You live on your own then, right? At 22? That's impressive."

She nods, still avoiding his eyes, trying to concentrate on the story.

"Is it far from here?"

"Just a couple tube stops." Just don't look at him, ignore him.

"Hey, loosen up a bit, hm?" Eric jokes and his hand squeezes her thigh, making her jump cause she wasn't expecting him to be so bold.

"Please don’t touch me." She mumbles, scooting closer to the other end of the sofa. Eric simply shrugs, moving closer to her but before he can say anything else, a ball of crumpled paper hits his head. Avery looks up and notices that Francis was the culprit.

"Hey Eric!" He yells over. "Cut it out. You're being annoying."

Eric rolls his eyes at Francis, ignoring his request and turning back to the girl beside him, but Francis doesn't stop. "I mean it. Leave her alone or get the fuck out, okay?"

After huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf, Eric finally gets up and walks towards a little group by the fireplace on the other side of the room.

Avery lets out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. Finally feeling relieved knowing that he was away from her. She got up, about to thank Francis, before realizing that he had completely disappeared. Lost in the abyss of the party. So, Avery slowly made her way to the kitchen, knowing that Harry would be there.

Harry was leaning against the kitchen counter, texting someone on his phone, his brows furrowed. As Avery enters he looks up, his eyes becoming a bit brighter and his brows unfurrowed. "Your coffee is almost ready." He says, assuming that was the reason why she came to the kitchen.

"It's boring without you." She felt how her body had calmed down substantially, her heart had turned back to a normal beat and her mind slowed down.

"Everything in life is boring without me," Harry says and she chuckles tiredly at his ego. "Come over here."

Avery scrambles over to him and Harry opens his arms, pulling her small frame close to his chest. She allowed herself to close her eyes and take in his scent as Harry rested his chin on her head. Avery guessed that he would leave somewhen, maybe soon and there would be no one to blame for it. No one at all. Because if she can't stand herself, how could she expect someone else to be around her.

"Whatever happened to you, Ave, no matter what it was, you didn't deserve it. I know you didn't." She freezes but Harry doesn't let her go, instead he starts to draw small circles on her back. "I noticed how you were acting earlier when everyone was telling their stories. You seemed so... eager to take it all in as if.. I don't know..." He murmurs, she feels the vibration of his chest against her cheek.

"It doesn't matter to me what it was, and you don't have to tell me, but you didn't deserve it."

She had never told anyone. Not her previous boyfriends, not Tom, she could barely admit any of it to herself. For a moment, she thought about not replying at all.

"But don't you think bad things happen to bad people?"

"Oh Avery... I think you can be anything you want to be in life. Anything but a bad person."

✨ next

✨ previous

✨ masterlist

✨ wattpad

Taglist: if you would like to be added, interact with this post or message me!

🦋 Wattpad

🦋 Masterlist

🦋 Prolouge