It felt much longer than it probably was. The thought permeated through Cassidy's processors. The time she spent at Sparrow's house had come to an end.
And yet, she felt conflicted. Learning more about Sparrow's side effects, she wanted to stay there, look after him. Even so, she'd be lying if she said she wasn't happy to be returning home. Things would be different, even if just a little. That much was unavoidable. But at least now, she could rest safely and be with her family again.
As she approached the apartment door with a suitcase in one hand and the handle to Kobi's cage in the other, a smile formed upon her lips. She opened the door, immediately bringing Kobi's cage inside, and then called out two words.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Cassidy stopped writing in her notebook and looked up.
"Yes. There are no doubts."
What if you can't come back?
"Then at least I know I have little to lose. I know Ai and Spectre might take a bit to accept it, but Harlow and Jonah have made up their minds. They—"
Cassidy sniffled, touching her visor with suprise as she felt the digital tears. She sighed.
"They won't miss me. They won't... care if I fail, because they'll have their own victory as a result."
You know that's not tr—
"Shut up!" Cassidy's ventilation grew louder. "This is my decision."
Ellipses, alright.
Cassidy picked her pencil up and continued writing.
I'll stop Harlow from losing herself.
Cassidy looked ahead as the lights on her body shifted, red becoming pink... then yellow.
(CONTENT WARNING! The following contains somewhat graphic descriptions and allusions to gore, mentions of mutilation, possible body horror, the shattering of one's mental being, and a lot of pain.)
(YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)
What was her limit?
Spectre knew she had one. She knew she was capable of more than she did, but just what it was, or what it could become, she didn't know. She looked around at her surroundings: snowy mountains everywhere she looked, frozen glaciers in the water nearby. You'd be hard pressed to tell she was still on Titanium-28. Pushing herself to her limit was something unknown; something feared by both herself and others. Yet with things as they were—for herself, and for her child—she needed to know.
Still, she couldn't bring herself to be close to home. Hell, she was hesitant of even trying it while on the same planet. But here she stood, body a blackened void everywhere aside from the white of her eyes and teeth, with not a speck of color to be seen. She took a deep breath, nonexistent lungs filling with the air around her, and breathed out, shadowy mist coming from her like one's breath would in the cold environment. Her body loosened, and in her mind, a creature took form.
Her body began to smoke, its area small at first, before charcoal steam erupted from every inch of her body. In a near instant, the once clear surroundings were engulfed by the fog of the void surrounding every raise and dip in the ground. Heavier it grew, darker, more opaque.
Then hundreds of thousands of tendrils burst from within and swung mindlessly, aimless and wild. Hardened rock and ice alike shattered from the strength of their impact.
It hurt. Her mind ached, a strong migraine forming within her psyche. But she had to keep pushing. She screamed, silenced by the sound of the void cracking through the air like whips.
The tendrils swung inwards, violently gathering into a rough mass of limbs. It pulsated, stretching beyond what it should to the shape of muscle and tendons, jagged bone obscured underneath. In silent anguish, the muscles pulsed and crawled. The void of smoke, growing heavier, was called inward by the rapidly fracturing psyche.
A shape took form, the outer flesh hardening, as large stretch marks formed in the cracks left behind. From the front erupted four sharp claws made up of jagged bone, as the foot's heel rose to a stump. Once more, tendrils burst out, clouds of blackened smoke and cascades of liquid spewing out. Like before, they swung wildly before rapidly conjoining, and from the heel came a calf, similarly scarred and cracked.
It hurt. Every moment hurt. Her psyche stretched thin. Still, it continued.
A thigh formed next, followed by a pelvis as it fell forward from its own weight. The ground shook, dust and snow filling the air. It didn't move, tendrils merely continuing to jut out, gathering to form a second leg, deformed like its sibling.
It cried, tears of black liquid bleeding from the thinned marks running throughout its stretched flesh, turning to nothing as they hit the earth below.
More smoke gathered, filling the space for a horrific parody of a body to form. Tendrils burst from its sides, spewing more of the void's blood and tears. They shot down at the ground, slowly and sluggishly lifting the monster from its grasp, every step shaking the planet to its core, causing the surrounding cliffs and caves to crumble. Then they twisted around one another, forming small arms, claws on the ends of their malformed hands. From its hips, tendrils gathered to form a tail. It lashed around as its owner lacked the mental clarity for control. Then at last, the monster's head formed, draconic and misshapen, torn like the psyche that inhabited it.
Able to finally express its anguish after the immeasurable time that had passed, the monster raised its body up, its height reaching that of the tallest peaks. It looked to the sky, up at the molten body the planet orbited. A white glow formed under the darkened stretch marks, blinding the world. Then its jaw unhinged with a thundering crack, tears of white streaking down from its hollowed eyes, bleeding from the now glowing marks throughout its body. All its pain, all its anguish, all the torture it was sustaining, all took shape as it let out the roar of a false god's abomination.
Pain fueling its every movement, the monster stepped forward. It was slow, sluggish, as its psyche struggled to stay, to exist. The crying and bleeding continued as it looked down upon the now cracked ground. From the still unhinged maw, it exhaled a cloud of smoke, filling the broken mountain range it occupied, darkening it in the void. It wanted to stop. Its body, no, everything hurt. Its mind threatened to shatter at its very concept as the smoke condensed, and the thick black void was taken over by a thin beam of pure white fire.
As quickly as it appeared, the beam fizzled out, once more engulfed in smoke before that, too, vanished. The white glow within the cracks of its body lost power and returned to darkness, the bleeding ceased. The monster could do no more. It had neither the strength nor will to continue. And so, gravity took it in its grasp, and dragged it to the ground, shaking the world with its weight.
Unable to exist for any longer, the monster's body shook as it slowly turned to smoke, until all that remained was a cloud of the void. It could do no more than wait. Wait for the smoke to clear, and its mind to think once again.
There was so much, it felt like. The Solver alone contributed with Harlow, Shuriken, and M's entire situation, and back home, there was Rae.
She had others, too. Alex, B, TessCyn... All with their own problems, all with things that worried Spectre.
Worry. It was her biggest enemy right now. Not a moment went by where she wasn't worried. Worried about Harlow succumbing, worried about Shuriken losing, worried about Alex dying, worried about Tera using her powers too much and losing herself as a result, worried about TessCyn being alone with nobody to help her when she needs it most.
Worried about Rae showing up, worried about Mirror getting blocked off more, worried about T letting Cyn get into her head, worried about M's nightmare coming true.
It was all so much, and she was so little. What was a person meant to do in that situation? It felt like she spent more time worrying about things she couldn't immediately see and know everything about than she did living, truly living.
"But I need to. I don't care if I suffer, so long as—"
Spectre's phone buzzes. She takes it out of her pocket and turns it on, showing a photo of family and friends alike all together.
"So long as you all are okay, I don't care what happens to me... even if I hate myself for it."
She sighed. She said she'd tell Tera everything, and this was something she should let out.
But Tera wasn't home right now. And so Spectre made a mental note to tell her later, and proceeded to do the only thing she knew how.
Cam you get the outfit from Alicia's gift bag for a moment?
"Huh?" Cassidy looked up from her book. "Um, sure... why?"
We had a thought.
"O...kay..."
Hesitantly, Cassidy put her book down and got up, walking over to her wardrobe and opening it to reveal a multitude of varied clothing. Flipping through the hangers like pages of a book, she grabbed one and took it off the rod it hung from.
The hanger held the entire set. The main part holding the jacket and crop top, and the extension on the bottom holding the pants.
Okay, now go to the mirror.
Cassidy complied, walking with the outfit in hand. She looked at her reflection, simple, plain save for some smaller details. How she normally was, and liked to be.
Hold it up in front of you.
"Are you trying to get some kind of image?" Cassidy asked as she did what The Rebooted said to, holding the hanger in front of her. It gave a decent idea of what she'd look like wearing it, if not a perfect one due to the crop top's window being covered by its back before reaching Cassidy herself.
Perhaps. You know the window?
"Yes," she responded, deadpan.
Think of yourself wearing the outfit.
Cassidy rolled her eyelights, and with the aid of her reflection, pictured it in her head.
"Now what?"
Now imagine you have DD curves.
Cassidy's visor immediately filled with red, an eyelight twitching before she stomped her foot.
"ARE YOU CRAZY? DO YOU WANT ME TO PATCH YOU?!"
Maniacal laughter.
Cassidy groaned, "Why did I entertain you?"
Her gaze settled on her reflection for a second or two before she made a sharp turn towards her dresser, put the outfit away, and went back to sitting down with her book. Her visor was still flushed as she could not get the image out of her mind.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Spectre stood in front of the monster in the void. This time, she didn't kneel. This time, she didn't bend.
This time, they were equals.
"You know, I've always wondered why you... why I take this form when at my worst."
"IT is the FOrM yoUR MInd AsSOCIAtES wIth tHE wORST. WitH HER."
Spectre nodded. "Yeah. We won't ever agree or come to peace, will we? You aren't something that will go away or be defeated."
"After all..." Spectre looked at the monster, and the monster looked back. "i am YouR dARKeSt thoUGhts maDE FLesH."
"And you have so, so much power."
"poWEr GiFTED frOm yoURSelF."
"And it won't diminish any time soon."
"Not SO LoNG AS THOugHTS dRiFT ThroUgh OuR MiND."
"But... I'm working towards bettering my defenses. Or, no, I'm taking the thoughts you show me..."
"anD lettinG THEm BE KNowN."
The monster twitched. "BUT do yOu REallY Think This iS ThE bESt CourSE OF AcTiOn? yOu doN't wanT tO TAInT tera'S minD ANy MoRE."
Spectre clenched her fist. "Yeah, I don't. But... she was right. There's so much, and in the end, I'm not the one in control of it. When she met TessCyn, I had no input. It was coincidence, nothing more."
"YOu saved Them bOth ThAT ENCoUntEr."
Spectre blinked, looking up at the monster.
"I did? TessCyn was hesitant, more reserved, apologetic to Tera. That wouldn't have been the case if it weren't for me. Even if I didn't control the initiation—"
"it wAS THe SUM OF Your CHOiCES THAt shiFteD THe outCome."
"You're... way more positive than normal. But I guess you are just my thoughts, nothing more."
"So ManY woRlDS WITHout you. So MANy wiTh yOU."
"But only one that I can experience. Only one that I can live."
Spectre thought back to her conversation with the Harlow that had given in.
"Just one story."
She took a deep breath, and then, with her mind determined, she stepped forward. The monster opened its arms, welcoming Spectre into its embrace, into its being.
I will never escape these thoughts. But I don't have to take them alone, do I?
ONLY TiME WIlL teLL.
...
...
Spectre wakes up late that day. She walks out of the room to find Tera already sitting on the couch, Golem doing its best to clean up breakfast.
It isn't the usage or the side effects. Sure she worries about Tera using them too much and what that does, but it isn't the reason for her dislike.
That simply comes from association.
But as she stands in front of the small area where the tear between Tera's universe and Shuriken's makes itself known, she finds herself thinking about what Tera said.
"Shuriken and Harlow are connected to us by a portal I can't close. If... if they can't fight control, it threatens this world too."
This portal is part of their world now. And there's no sign of it going away. It's a connection, and one that people used. But it's probably not best to just leave it here unattended.
Spectre lay on the ground of her mind's void, while another presence looms above her.
"loOK WHAT has Become of yOu."
The monster circled around Spectre's kneeling form, gesturing like some sort of man.
"terA aNd HaRLoW HatE eaChotHeR BECaUSe OF YoU. HaRLOw SUCCUMbS tO THE SoLvEr BECause OF her lovE fOR YOU. MiRRoR CAN NO LoNGER hiDE HOw iT fEelS abouT YOU anD is HuRT aS A rEsULT."
She hated it. Hated how it was right.
"YOUR eXISTENcE OF TRyinG tO geT thrOUgH tHInGs 'NOrmAlly' has ONly CAuSeD pAIN FoR ThOse aROUND YOu."
A clawed, bony hand reached down to bring Spectre's chin up so she could look the monster in the eyes.
"ANd to Think YOU wANted To hELp thEM."
"I just didn't want them to hurt," Spectre pleaded. "I only wanted to help them smile, even just a little more. I never meant for this."
Streaks of white ran down her cheeks, tears she could no longer hide from the world.
"SO Why dON'T yOu FIx IT?"
"What?" Spectre asked, disbelief of the idea rampant in her tone.
The monster grinned. "BE WITH tHeM AlL. WE dOn't NeEd to sacRIFice ONE SO ThE oTHER Is PleasEd."
"I can't. I know Tera and Kiara wouldn't want that."
"AnD wHY DoES ThAT matter? We Are A goD. we dO NOt AsK wHat oTHerS wAnt FRom us. wE take WHat iS rightFullY OurS."
"No." Spectre looked the monster in the eyes. "That's not true. I created this mess, but I don't want to 'fix' it if that means hurting the people I love."
"aS opPOsed to wHAt You'rE aLREADy doiNg?"
The monster's hand left Spectre's chin, and the shadow merely let her head drop. Then, sounds were heard.
"yoU CrY?"
"You're right. I've hurt them. All of them." Spectre clenched her fists. "But I'm not going to abandon them like that. I fucked up. I may have ruined everything, but if I have a chance to find some way through everything I've done, I will get through it as myself, not a god."
