I keep having these nights where I am by myself with nothing to do. I lie down in my bed, alone. With only my thoughts to keep me company. Usually, this would end up resulting in me getting to bed on time for once. But, rather, it currently results in fantasies. The likes of which, I am unable to come to terms with. You see, I have these feelings for someone. Yet, I know these feelings are not reciprocated. I have in a way moved on. I am not pining over her like I used to. I am not bothering my friend with my insufferable whining. I am not drinking over her any more. I am not getting distracted by the thought of her during my work. I can confidently say that with my up coming trip, I will be focused on trying new things. Rather than, crying over her. Even with that understanding, I still think about her. During these moments, where the only thing that shows a beam of light are the stars in the sky, I think about her. I have such hope that love will prevail. That somehow, we would get lost in each other eyes. Somehow, I would end up holding you in my arms. Somehow, we would just fall in love. It makes me feel better. Thinking that there is someone who would love me in such a way. Then, I realize, it's just a day dream I am having and there is no way that it would happen. I just look at my ceiling at that point. Thinking about how stupid I am to have ever had feelings for her. It hurts to always hold the idea of love in such a high regard. When everyone around me doesn't hold it in the same light. I just want to let it settle into the darkness. To be able to just push these emotions away with ease. To continue on after something like this with no issues. I just can't bring my self to do it.