#cupcaketae

I know this feel. I'm almost 20 and I should be trying to get my drivers license....but I'm absolutely terrified. ㅠㅠ

It’s been like a week since you asked me to do this cupcaketae, so I don’t even think you’ll remember doing it when I finally publish it ( it took me forever to sort out who I wanted to write to and I am so so sorry) but here it goes any way;

Dear Future Me, 

  Right now so many things are changing. You’re in a state of constant state of confusion, but in moments of clarity, much like what you’re experiencing right now, I think its okay to be that way. You’ll be starting a new job on Monday. Its in the field you’ve always wanted to be in and even though you’re scared, I need you to know that even taking that interview was a very brave thing to do. It was outside of your comfort zone, nerve wracking, and basically the exact opposite of anything you’d ever tried to do before but you still did it. That’s incredible! 

   Along with this job comes the opportunity to study and go to school. Working the jobs you have before now, you’ve never even really thought it was possible. You didn’t focus to well in high school so promise that you’ll try harder in these courses? I know we can do it. We’ll have amazing people to stand by us through it all. You’ll have Buddy and Jess, our two best friends who are also amazing and taking steps to achieve the future they want, a future that includes a happy you too! Alan and Sam, your younger brother and his ‘bae’ ( Do you still wonder how long she’ll put up with his running joke? Because I do.) They’ve always been there to listen to you, don’t bottle things up, remember that they listen, just give it a try. Abby and Michael, your sister from another mister and…Well maybe you’ll know what he is better then I do. Time will tell kind of thing , but they are all still here for you. Still cheering you on. 

  You are ready for this adult thing. I know, trust in the fact that we both know that we’ve thought so low of our self, that we’ve felt so alone and insignificant, that we’ve been nothing but a small town girl with big, unreachable dreams, but that we’ve also made it this far…That we found strength in music, marked our body for the people we love and miss, helped others in every way we could, and have come to peace with those who only want to hold us back and tie us down. 

   You are beautiful and it is not selfish for me to say. There is no shame for liking who you are, there is no shame in living a little and having fun, there is no shame in being confident in your choices, and there is no shame in being proud of yourself. I am so very proud of us.

   This is the Year of Sarah (Sawah). Past and Future. We are a wonderful person, a good kid, a very pretty young lady, a loving friend, a big dreamer, and finally an achiever. We can do something amazing and I finally and truly believe that…

Never give up girl, even when they try us ;)

Too bad Luhan is the only one that gets to nom it D:

all hail the xiu booty

ITS GLORIOUS ISNT IT?! I love it. Nom. nom nom nom. 

Hello people of the internet universe! I've finally reached my first 300 followers and to celebrate I've decided to do my first " Forever Follow" list! Thank you all so very much for following my blog so loyally, I promise to reward you by continuing with my posts, supporting and listening to whoever needs, and staying true to myself! ( And a give away but that one might take a little while ^^;) 

KPOP Blogs ;

askjongtae : Although I have never spoken to the admin(s?) of this blog, they have awakened my shipper heart! Definitely a blog I'd highly recommend for cute scenarios and amazing art. 

cupcaketae / crooked- cupcake : My first tumblr Senpai! When I first joined tumblr I was'nt even a SHINee blog, I just kind of ran this random, whatever I felt like posting kind of thing until I came across cupcaketae. She inspires me so very much with her writing, confidence and bravery in the face of adulthood, and multi-fandom madness. Not to mention I can talk about tattoos and drool over similar biases with her. Make sure to follow if your looking for quality, multi-fandom blogs that will introduce you to new obsessions! 

damnyouleejinki : The Jor to my Jorwah! Though we don't really get shipped to much anymore ( that I'm aware of at least) She's an amazing friend that stood by me in a really tough time. She's absolutely adorable and madly in love with Lee Jinki, So for your MVP needs I invite you to follow this lovely blog. 

jjonglegs : Another multi- fandom friend of mine! I haven't been following her for to long, as we met through the " Secret Santa" program and I've quickly started to develop a tumblr crush on her and her blog. She gives me my daily does of G-Dragon without even realizing it ( Something I've discovered is a must) and posts cute Studio Ghibli things that catch my eye. 

k-popoutfits : Another blog that I have not had the pleasure of knowing the admin(s?), but an amazing one none the less! They post amazing and unique outfit interpretations of loved Kpop groups, MVs, and even individual idols! 

katrinawritesthings : The last on my list of " People I don't know but wish I did"  goes to this blog. I think I could spend hours and hours just reading her fan fictions/ fiction recommendations. It goes from fluffy to smutty and everywhere in between! I seriously haven't been bored since I found this blog. 

keys-yeobo: Oh man. This blog belongs to my Numma, who drug me into Kpop all by herself in the first place. She showed me SHINee's "Hello" and the rest is history. I have the pleasure of knowing her outside of tumblr, going to school together, chillin' at the mall, freaking out at bookstores like two dorks, any of it and all of it. We've known each other for about four years now and despite our arguments and trials, I can't imagine my life without her. So, to keep this short and not to terribly mushy, if you're looking for a "Locket" based blog run by an inspirational young lady, who is willing to help anyone in need, make sure to check this one out. 

kittybummie : Another blogger that I just recently had the pleasure of being introduced to. Lezzy is an amazing artist and creative being, and although that's not what her blog is based on, when inspiration hits her and she posts her work? Its definitely my absolute favorite part of my dash.

 minjinkis : A blog dedicated to SHINee for the most part but also involves other bands as well! Jill is a lot of fun to follow. From her hilarious tags to knowing that she experienced a Fall Out Boy and Panic! concert. Her blog always makes me smile, mostly from the fangirling over non-kpop things, but that's not the focus of it... Short story? She's cute. Follower her. 

tae-saurus : Seeennnnpppaaaiiiii! This blog, it really holds a special place for me. To start I didn't even find this blog by just stumbling through the Taemin tag or from a forever follow, I happened upon her through a story she posted on another site. She's an amazing author and I not only suggest that you check out her blog but also her fan fictions. The one I linked is part of why I'm still alive, ( literally such an impact that part of my tattoo stems from it).

NON Kpop Blogs ( but equally as amazing) ; 

d0rkpants : A blogger that I have the pleasure of living in the outside world with! Her blog is just a whatever she feels like posting kind of thing but its where I go to for fill my BBRae feels, laugh, and kind of die inside at all the adorable kitties. Jess is 1/2 of my best friend ( Her boyfriend being the other half.) and I love her so hard it hurts. She's my soulmate on so many different levels that if she wasn't with Buddy? I'd claim her as my own ( in a I'm-not-going-to-kiss-you-have-sex-with-you-or-marry-you-but-snuggle-definitely-snuggles kind of way) 

mahoushoujoninaritai : Despite the incredibly long username ( which I pray I've spelled right) I absolutely LOVE this blog. Like everyone else on this list I know this blogger in the real world. Sam is amazing and she has several blogs but this one is my favorite. All the cute foods and magical girl posts speak to me and draw out a very girlie Sawah. 

megacreatureskater: The other half to my best friend ( They're my OTP. I can count them as one person if I want.) His blog started out as a video game blog, which is definitely apart of his line up, but for the most part Buddy posts hilarious pictures and texts posts. Also porn to make me uncomfortable, but who wants to see that? 

nothingslikebef0re : The blog that got me back into Fall Out Boy and dragged me into the Supernatural fandom. I feel like that alone is enough to convince you to follow this amazing blog, but if its not! She also reblogs other bands, shows,animals (Malcolm),music and hey, more porn! There is so much on this blog I can barely do it justice. 

realityhassetin : Last but not least, my favorite little brother's blog. ( He's my only brother, not playing favorites) This blog is dedicated to what ever he's in the mood for. Be it magical girls, Disney movies, Studio Ghibli,Chloe, Lil' Bub, Pokemon and other games, or " Ahrianna Grrraaannnday!" ( Ariana Grande). Alan and I butt heads from time to time but I seriously could not ask for a better brother. The best friend I could ever ask for. 

" You make a pretty cute Pikachu." Amber whispered as she reached past the hood of the Pikachu kigarumi she lent you to push a few strands of your hair away from your face.

" And you make an adorable CharAmber." You muttered back, biting your lip to hold in your laughter.

" CharAmber? Really?" she rolled her eyes, unable to hold in her laughter at your stupid play on words as she pulled you closer to her, exchanging warmth under a mountain of comforters and blankets as the first snow storm of the season raged outside.

" You know you love me."

" Of course I do Cupcake. More than I could ever express with words." The rapper said just loud enough for you to hear before kissing at the blush her words caused, " I always will."