#culpablie

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - ha hahahahahahaha : )))))) depends if someone dies or nah

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - wAY FAST

How was their first kiss? - sam kind of attacked him with his lips so

Wedding:

Who proposed? - sam probs

Who is the best man/men? - ally. for both of them. just ally. 

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - al. .ly. yup. she’s just the entire wedding party

Who did the most planning? - both lbr

Who stressed the most? - seth. when is he not stressed k

How fancy was the ceremony? - not very probably just like in a tent………. ; )))Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - seth probably wrote sam’s name on this list.

Sex:

Who is on top? - sam.

Who is the one to instigate things? - sAM

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now aNGRILY

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - uh. probably would go until seth throws sam off lbr

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - probably not. sam just gets seth off and done

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - penises.

How many children will they adopt? - why can ipicture sam coming home with a child like ‘it followed me home’

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - seth probably makes sam do it

Who is the stricter parent? - seth.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - seth. sam probs plans with the child

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - both of em

Who is the more loved parent? - uh. well seth’s probs the dick parent so sam

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? both

Who cried the most at graduation? - seth is a cry baby so

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - WELL probably sam if grandpa sheriff doesn’t do it first.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - sam

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - sETH

Who does the grocery shopping? - sam

How often do they bake desserts? - i think they try but just end up covered in flour

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - they love meat i ntheir mouths

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - sam surprises seth.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - sa … m ??? seth doesn’t like public things tbh

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - seth.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - seth’s ocd about it sort of???

Who is really against chores? - sam maybe ???? 

Who cleans up after the pets? - seth begged for a cat  but ‘ only if u take care of it fine ‘

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - sam

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - seth

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - seth but it’s sam’s dollar

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - they probs shower/bathe together so

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - they got a cat bruh

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - seth’s a christmas slut so there’s that.

What are their goals for the relationship? - to not die or kill each other or yeah… 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - sam

What they define their relationship with your muse as: seth is always hesitant to put labels on relationships simply because he doesn’t want to call it something it’s not, and to be let down in return. so as much as he feels it’s a romantic relationship, he won’t call it that until he hears sam say it first. for right now, it’s a situation where seth feels good, safe and not alone. which is very important to him.

Something they like about your muse: his hair. he just fucking love’s sam’s hair, okay? non-aesthetically, he likes how gentle he can get. he comes across as a little bit overwhelming at first to seth ( granted, who doesn’t ), but when they’re being them, sam’s super gentle with him and doesn’t push and he’s highly appreciative of that.

Something they dislike about your muse: his reputation. it’s no secret that seth cares far too much about what people think of him and that he’s almost cowardly about it, so to be with someone to has the murder of his mother hanging over his head is just a little unsettling, even if he knows sam is innocent.

Their first impression of your muse: cocky and asshole like gtfo why would you put red pain in that pattern on your house ???????

Their impression of your muse now: let me hold you while i play with your hair and love you and kiss me.

How they feel about your muse: seth’s already pretty attached. he never thought he’d find someone with whom he felt as comfortable as he does with allison and yet he’s found that with sam.

Something they are hiding from your muse: seth hides everything from everyone, to be honest. but i think the biggest things are his virginity and his dyslexia? he keeps those from everyone though.