#cullev

My favorite line written is from Wandering in the Dark . It’s my DA fic pride & joy because I put HOURS of time & effort into it. The intro line is:

“The Resistance was irretrievably over; everything that could have been done had been done.”

4. If you could change anything in F&F, what would it be?

*cringes*

The short answer is everything. I would rewrite it AGAIN from beginning to end.

This is for a few reasons:

1) It was my first attempt at writing a fic.

2) When I was writing it in 2015, I got a comment about halfway through that was something to the effect of “if we wanted to rehash canon scenes, we’d play the game.” I was insecure & it was harshly written so I nuked the fic & changed my username. It had like 15 subscribers, all quiet, I didn’t think anyone would miss it.

3) When I revived the project 2 years later, I was surprised by the comments I received saying they remembered the fic & was glad to see it back. I cautiously snuck into the fandom at the suggestion of a reader. However, in the end this “friend” gaslit me (& a bunch of other writers) & this fic was sort of collateral damage. When I reread parts, I could see her influence all over it.

That I finished the series, is a miracle. I grit my teeth & finished S&G (it’s companion piece) then HEAVILY edited F&F, nearly redoing entire chapters on occasion, before forcing myself to write the final 2 chapters.

But it’s done & everyone has been really supportive/kind about the fic. Also, I nearly had a stroke when @kauriart​ posted this lovely rec/gift. I seriously cried over it because I had so many bad feelings associated with F&F & this was the final push I needed to help me set all of that aside. [So, thank you again Kauri]

Thank you for the ask lovely!!! ❤️

4. If you could change anything in WitD, what would it be?

*calmly inhales*

Ok, believe it or not, the ONE thing I would go back and change is the last half of CH17; specifically, the smut.

It was something I had partially written in the early stages, sort of “I knew where the fic was going & how to get there would be the fun part” -- ANYWAY, I was really struggling with WitD at that point. I wanted to finish it SO BAD & I got hung up for like 3 months on how the newly written section clashed with the prewritten smut. I did my best to blend it, but when I look at it, it all still reads slightly OOC to me. Hopefully this is just me, but... there it is. *cries*

6. Which scenes did you cut, and which were added in WitD?

CUT SCENES: I was always planning on covering the final battle & the conversation with Solas. However, when I got there, I felt it took away from the build up & the intent to have an open/ambiguous ending. Plus it brushed a little too close to canon in ways. Amladaris dies, the orb is destroyed, Solas disappears - all of that was easily implied without covering it, so it was axed & the world’s shortest epilogue was written instead.

ADDED SCENES: Believe it or not, in my original outline, Ez had died, so everything surrounding him was an addition. I felt it impacted Evelyn WAYYYY more find her brother tortured & broken after years of uncertainty. Give her that extra boost to be selfish & impulsive toward the end; tip her towards Eirlys Amell in ways. Plus, I needed an extra way to hint that Evelyn lived. I hope that wasn’t TOO subtle, but with Ez’s & Cole’s combined vague insight into the past/future, I wanted to set up that even though her & Cullen disappeared, they went to find Justice, ie Anders.

Plus... these changes set me up for a sequel if DA4 gives me the opportunity.

*phew*

I still have a lot of feelings about this fic & I’m incredibly proud of it. In fact, I thinks it’s the ONLY DA fic that I am proud of... So with that said, here is some shamless self-promotion: You can find this Noir/Dystopian AU - Wandering in the Dark - here, on Ao3.

The super sweet & supportive @thejeeperswife tagged me like forever ago to share the 5 songs of my choice OTP, which will be Cullen Rutherford and Evelyn Isla Trevelyan. (artwork by drawinglinestoconstellations)

Ever since finishing WitD, their muses have been sort of quiet, but I still adore them. I’ll be taking songs from that fic’s playlist because I poured my heart & soul into that fic & I’m proud of it.

[I’ll tag: @shannaraisles, @laraslandlockedblues, @whenmysoulsings, @melaena, @laurelsofhighever, @idrelle-miocovani, @a-shakespearean-in-paris & @agentkatie - as always, feel free to ignore me ♥️)

The Song™: Bees - The Ballroom Thieves

And of all the thousand ways the world could tempt me I never met a better fighter of her fears And I try to breathe the air that she is breathing And they dance a lightless dance upon my floor

I am burning to tell her she’s all I’m needing, But I’m drowned out by all the noise outside the door. Well carried by the current of the morning, miles below the surface of the dawn.

This is not the place I was born in. But that doesn’t mean it’s not the place where I belong.

Song #2: Alright - Tow’rs

I don’t pretend to know the thoughts in your head It’s easy when your eyes are always speaking Why don’t we stay in each other’s arms It’s hard to wield a knife when my hands inside yours

If I’m not alright, will we be alright? I don’t want to be right, I just want you

Final 3 under the cut

I’ve been sitting on a few tags from some lovely writers because... well, because sometimes I just need a social media break, but here I am!

Thank you @a-shakespearean-in-paris, @thejeeperswife (x2), & @melaena ❤️

From Blueshift (a prequel to Negentropy):

In all actuality, Cullen had anticipated a flat out denial. Should he be unable to pull through the worst of the withdrawals, it could seriously damage her career. Then there was that last part, that kindness Cullen was not sure what he thought of. 

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age (Video Games) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Cullen Rutherford/Female Trevelyan, Female Mage Trevelyan/Cullen Rutherford Characters: Cullen Rutherford, Female Trevelyan (Dragon Age), Dragon Age: Inquisition Inner Circle, Dante the Mabari, Male Trevelyan (Dragon Age), Rylen (Dragon Age) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Scientists, Long-Distance Friendship, Email Pals, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Self-Doubt, Lyrium Withdrawal, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Light Angst, POV Alternating, Prequel Series: Part 2 of Something to believe in. Summary:

Blueshift [n]: A shift in the lines of an object's spectrum toward the blue end. Blueshift indicates an object is moving toward the observer. The larger the blueshift, the faster the object is moving.

By the time Kirkwall was said and done, Cullen Rutherford had become numb to the good he had accomplished, and that was when he realized there was nothing left to give. The first day home was the first day of real recovery. It was also the day Mia tucked a stranger's email address into his hand, offering him a chance at the clean break he so desperately wanted.

I was tagged by@laraslandlockedblues​,@a-shakespearean-in-paris​, & @ellstersmash​ - thank you lovelies ❤️

My Cullen/Ev muse sort of died there for a little bit toward the end of WitD, but I think they’re coming back around after a smol rest. From the next chapter of Blueshift (a prequel to Negentropy):

From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subject: RE: Inquiry. Received: Yesterday at 20:46

Cdr. Rutherford:

My favorable reply you shall have; however, right now, I have a fish-pie and some fried mushrooms with my name on them. Given your current position within Skyhold, I’m sure you know why.

For now, ration your doses as you would in an emergency situation, and I will have a tentative plan to you within 24 hours. Abrupt, complete detox will be rough, so not much will be open for discussion because I want to see you succeed, not die. With that said, I will at least listen to any objections you may have before probably still telling you no.

E.I. Trevelyan, PhD | Assistant Professor of Lyrium Studies Ostwick Academy | Dept. of Physics & Engineering Please excuse any typos - this email was sent from my iPad

Rules:  Post the first line of your last 10 published fics, then tag 10 people

I was tagged by @melaena & @a-shakespearean-in-paris (thank you lovelies). I am feeling strangely ... content with my writing lately, like I think I’m in a good headspace where I feel like it’s something I do just for me, just for fun, so with that in mind, here are the last 10 bits of randomness that make &/or made me happy recently.

1. Stay tuned on this Channel!! - Mystic Messenger (707 x MC; one-shot)

The kitchen was basically in the same state Olivia had left it in. Dirty but not dreadful. The sink was filled with dishes, but the surfaces were still clear, and it seemed as if all of the rubbish had made it into the bin while she was gone. Setting the takeout on the bar top, she regarded the clothes scattered in heaps around the large, open room with curiosity.

2. Thump. Thump. - Mystic Messenger (707 x OC; ongoing)

The convertible top was down, and the afternoon sun was really hitting them hard for early fall. As the light cycled back to red for the third time, Seven noticed he was gripping the steering wheel tight enough to turn his knuckles white. He flexed his fingers a time or two. Then he pulled out his phone to call Chloe.

3. Blueshift - DAI (Cullen Rutherford x f!mage Trevelyan; ongoing)

For the last several hours, Evelyn and her team had been pouring over the most recent batch of data in a pathetic attempt at passing the time. Exhaustion had finally settled in, but honestly, that was a drastic improvement. There for a bit, the four of them were about to bypass hangry and enter something close to hunger fueled rage, but thanks to Rylen’s latest fling, the potential bloodbath had been averted.

4. Ghosts - Mystic Messenger (Saeran Choi|Ray x MC; complete)

Ray knelt at her feet, and his fingertips traced the shape of her leg. She didn’t know what exactly she had done to him until it was too late. It was not something that she looked back on with fondness. But this broken, abused man now belonged to her.

5. This was... - SDV (Elliott x f!Farmer; ongoing)

She arrived on the first day of spring with raven black hair and skin like alabaster. She wore a false cheery smile that only further conveyed the discontent she really felt.

6. Wandering in the Dark - DAI (Cullen Rutherford x f!mage Trevelyan; complete)

The Resistance was irretrievably over; everything that could have been done had been done. He had never thought they would succeed, only a fool would believe they could, but he had never thought he would live to see the day the last Theirin was wiped from the face of Thedas.

7. Volume 35 of “Pure Romance” - Mystic Messenger (707 x MC; one-shot)

Seven jolted awake. The sheets beside him were chilly but rumpled. There was the smell of something savory hanging in the air. He let his gaze touch on the few personal items scattered around the room, lingering on her coat draped over a nearby chair.

8. The girl who gave me a star! - Mystic Messenger (707 x MC; one-shot)

     Saeyoung…  

     Wake up. It’s time to wake up from that sweet dream.  

9. Show me the way out - Mystic Messenger (707 x MC; one-shot)

It had been eight days since Olivia last went for a run around the neighborhood. Earbuds in, music blasting. Her body thrummed with excess stress, and she wondered if Seven would concede to letting her go out to burn some of it off.

10. Tomorrow will be a better day... - Mystic Messenger (707 x MC; one-shot)

Until that moment, they had existed only as wisps of his thoughts. A dream. Something unattainable. But there they were.