#cuatrx

Orihime’s eyes snapped open, her breathing ragged and sparse as she gasped for air. Her hands flew to her chest, to her arms and then to her face as she made sure that she hadn’t sustained any injuries. Steely hues quickly surveyed her dark surroundings, assuming that she’d be in the confines of her once colorless prison.. but she wasn’t there.

There was no lone couch that she was sleeping on, no cart of flavorless food to her right and no towering walls that encircled her. Instead, she was met with the sight of her slightly disheveled bedroom. A pillow tossed and abandoned on the far side of the room.

“.. A dream,” she said to herself, attempting to calm her racing heart as she reached out to play with the ends of her comforter. “It was just a dream..”

Orihime felt herself let out another breath, her shaky hues surveying the area once more. How long had it been since she’d had a dream that resembled such a dark and dismal place? How many nights had she been able to sleep soundly? Surely it had been some time since she’d allowed herself to recall such a painful memory. 

After all, ever since she’d arrived home from the sandy dunes of Hueco Mundo, she had been plagued with countless scenarios of what could of changed had she acted quicker or more efficiently. The night terrors had been so great that they’d been provoking her grades to drop, her mind racing in all sorts of different directions at all times. 

Though, it’d been at least a good two months since she’d reminded herself of such things… so why was she suddenly recalling such awful events now?

Orihime kicked the covers she’d nearly drawn to her chest away from her, relishing in the coolness from the nearby air conditioner she had just installed. The days of summer were quickly approaching and she’d gone all out this year to ensure she’d be comfortable. Her schedule had been so packed between hours at the bakery and her studies that she figured the least she could do was treat herself to a refreshing place to rest.

 “Maybe if I get a glass of water, I’ll be able to calm down a little,” she called out to the empty room, removing herself from the bed and starting towards the living room. The young fairy wielder weaved through the dinning room, careful to avoid bumping into the chairs that always seemed to be in her way. She rounded about a corner and headed towards the kitchen… though something caught her eye before she made it here. 

Orihime passed by the small stand near the television in which her brothers picture was, his smiling profile illuminated by the light of the crescent moon shinning in from the large window. Beside the wooden frame was a small glass jar, neatly painted with a vibrant emerald green that almost looked a little out of place in her pastel-toned quarters. 

Her nimble fingers reached out and hesitantly traced the lid to the jar which held a small heap of ashes. 

To be honest, she had even thought it a little peculiar herself that she was holding onto them after all this time. It’d been months since she’d returned back to the World of the Living and even longer since she’d been convinced -- almost forced -- to give up the dream of reviving her forgotten keeper. Chad had encouraged her to move on from the past while Uryuu worried about her health with having such an item in her household. Ichigo hadn’t said much to her about it, perhaps still feeling guilty for how the battle between the two of the had ended and Rukia had put her two cents in that there was nothing left for her there. 

Even Uruhara and Yourichi had stopped by a few times, gently trying to push her in the direction of handing over the ashes of the Cuatro Espada to Soul Society for research -- which she politely declined each and every time they’d come to inquire about.

“.. You weren’t even in that dream, Ulquiorra,” she whispered to the glass, feeling a heavy weight fall onto her heart. It ached every time she recalled his outstretched hand, seeking her own before it withered away into a pile of dust. “.. If only I had been quicker and not so involved with Kurosaki-kun.. I would have been able to save you..”

Orihime moved so she was facing the tiny glass creation with her whole body, her hands outstretched like his had once been as she wrapped them around the body of the urn-like container. She’d gone through hell and back in an attempt to revive him, even going so far as to seek the help of the Visored, but it was to no avail. No one was able to assit her and for the most part, no one had really wanted to indulge her in such a fantasy.

The young girl tightened her grip, trying to rid herself of the negative thoughts that were circling around her.If only she’d been a little quicker, a little stronger, a little more sensible… if only she’d been able to convince her friends that the being whom had attempted to kill them wasn’t really as horrible as they thought. If only they had taken her more serious and hadn’t assumed she was just experiencing some strange, forlorn experience since she’d spent so much time with him. If only she had reached out to him sooner… if only… 

“.. Soten Kisshun.. I reject…”