i'm the csd anon. (on anon before because anxiety) i didn't know it isn't called that everywhere! good to know! i didn't 'go' either, for the reasons you listed (none of my queer friends live in town, don't like people yelling), though i did watch the parade. i felt so connected + so lonely all at once because i really felt i belonged but it also made me aware how absent visible, happy queerness is in daily life. i didn't even know how much i miss that because i've never experienced it before.
This kind of stuff is absolutely a journey!! I just came out to some of my friends a year ago, so this is only my second pride. The party/parade stuff isnât for everyone, and it doesnât have to be how you celebrate!
My queer friends donât live near me either, so it is isolating (especially since I live in a largely conservative state). I pass as straight all the time since I âlookâ straight (which is bs) so I donât have that type of queerness in my everyday life either.
But! Again, how you choose/want to celebrate (or how you can celebrate) is up to you! Like, Iâve got anxiety so Iâm ok without the parade. My queer community is online, and with my friends. Iâve never experienced that kind of scene either, but I really donât think itâs for me.
It takes a while to find your place, find what you like and donât like, find your people and your crowd. Maybe pride wasnât fun for you this year, but who knows about next year! Try new things, try comfortable things, and celebrate YOU - whatever that means for you.
đ Best of luck dear!! And message me whenever you like to chat đ