#cs fan

The first two weeks went by with few confrontations. Killian and Emma both fought tooth and nail for every victory they could take for their team. Immunity, bags of rice, clean water. Everything. But they were team challenges. But nothing was personal. Not yet.

Not that Emma and Killian hadn’t started sizing up the competition. Emma was fully aware not to discount Killian just because he had a slight handicap. She’d seen how deftly he was able to maneuver through any obstacle even with one hand. She had seen how the team looked to him to organize and instruct them before they started any challenge. She had identified him as her most likely competition.

And he had done the same. He hadn’t let her beauty fool him. The woman could handle herself. She hadn’t made friends. He could see that from the way the other team interacted with each other, but it was clear to see whose leadership was giving them the upperhand and forging their path to victories. Emma Swan was a force to be reckoned with.

So both had set their sights on each other for when their numbers had dwindled and the team merge day came.

What they hadn’t been expecting was for this season’s twist. The remaining 8 contestants paired off, forced to work together til the end. He had been expecting to have to fight her tooth and nail to keep his position as leader, despite his obvious physical handicap. She had been expecting to fight tooth and nail to keep her position as leader, while combating the fact that she wasn’t exactly well liked.

Now, the TV powers that be, who had already been certain of the fireworks these two would create, sent them off to build a shelter, find food, and spend the night separate from the group before returning the next day for the first team challenge.

Of course with the cameras in tow.

For the first weeks of the filming Emma had easily been able to forget the the extra crew members buzzing around them. But tonight as she headed away from the shore with Killian in tow, she was sending her thanks to the heavens above for their presence.

Because she had noticed Killian from day one. Before she recognized his wit. Before she saw his charm. Before she knew how capable he was. From the start it was the dark hair, perfect white teeth and lean frame. Now, weeks into the competition, constant sun, physical activity and a low to no calorie diet had only made him more attractive. The cargo shorts he wore fell lower on his hips revealing more of his chiseled abs, and a full chest of thick hair she wanted nothing more to run her fingers through. Yes, thank goodness for the cameras because without witnesses there to stop her, she couldn’t guarantee that she could have stopped herself.

His thoughts were no purer. Her hair had been a mess from day two. Nothing had been able to keep her hair in check, and he’d noted when she had resorted to a long braid wrapped into a bun to at least keep it out of the way. But he had dreams of letting her hair out watching as it tumbled over her shoulders. He had dreams of sliding the straps of her bikini to the side and taking full measure of the sun’s handiwork. Every day he saw as a new freckle had appeared, and he could have spent what little light was left mapping each and every mark on her skin. But he thanked goodness for the cameras. He’d already seen what had happened when one of her own teammates had tried approaching her. The man had been sent with his tail between his legs, and Killian had no desire to start their first night on the wrong foot.

She counted. Unless there was another change up there were 11 days to go until the final tribal council. They hadn’t been told the new rules yet. Were she and Killian a team? Competitors? She realized he had stopped and had begun to assess the terrain. It was as good a spot as any to set up camp. Too late in the day to build any real shelter, they started gathering large palms to shield themselves from at least the heaviest of any overnight rains.

She hoped the cameras didn’t catch that she woke up in his arms. She hoped he hadn’t caught it either.

It was explained that they would be competing as teams. Each team would split the money. As disappointed as she was that her prize was reduced to a half million dollars, she eyed the competition and recognized that out of everyone she and Killian had the strongest chances of winning. Together they would be unstoppable.

Except they weren’t. Coming in second to last on the first set of challenges, they were almost in jeopardy of being the first pair sent home. Willful, stubborn, arrogant. Both of them. It was a long walk back to the lean to that night, full of blame and recrimination. Tempers flared and words flew. Neither cared what the cameras saw. The other deserved every word that was said. Every insult that was flung.

But when morning came, and they woke up tightly pressed against each other, damp with the constant humidity of the island, and with the calm a good night’s sleep can bring, each was ashamed of their actions.

Nothing was said. No apologies. No strategizing. Just a quick meal before striding into the makeshift arena, side by side, ready to compete. Not against each other, but as a team.

From that moment on they were invincible. They took first or second in every challenge, and every night as they headed in for tribal council, no one could touch them. It was no surprise to anyone when the last competition came, and Emma and Killian were the last two standing. He rushed and picked her up, swinging her around as she wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him. Five hundred thousand dollars each. It was enough money that she could feel safe. She and Henry would always have a roof over their heads. Henry could go to college. They would never have to scrape together money for food. Never again. Killian could buy his boat. They’d won.

But the celebration was premature. Killian put Emma down, ready to smile and do whatever else was necessary for the cameras, but realized no one else was smiling. Not like they should be.

There was a new twist. There was one more challenge. They couldn’t let them split the money. There could only be one survivor. No, now for the first time since the tribes merged, Emma and Killian would need to compete against each other. And the winner would take it all.

Emma was stricken. To be so close to stability. The safety net was right there. And now the person she had come to rely on the most was the one standing in her way. One look to Killian told her he felt the same. They weren’t even given a chance to talk.

The crew must have spent a week building the final task. Every earlier challenge had been worked into a giant obstacle course. They would each be let in from opposite sides. The first to get the idol to the podium in the middle, and place it on top would win. It was simple. If only it were that easy. Winning meant stealing the dream of someone else. Someone you’d come to know and trust. This wasn’t like earlier challenges where she had viewed the other tribe, and even her teammates, as merely people in her way. Never anything more than that. Killian had become a friend. This would be personal.

But she had to win. Or at least to try.

She took the obstacle course at top speed. Completing every task as efficiently as she possibly could. Thoughts of how Killian was doing were pushed aside. This was about her, and whether she could do it. She couldn’t think of him.

But as she approached the field and saw the idol ahead, she knew he had her. He was two steps closer than she was, and the idol was another 10 paces from the podium. That was it. The million dollars was gone in the blink of an eye. But she kept running. If she couldn’t win, at least she could meet him at the podium and be the first to congratulate her friend.

And that’s when it happened. He saw her approach, and there was a fumble. And another fumble. And he tripped. The idol came flying in her direction as he hit the ground hard on his back. Already running, she picked it up and ran for the podium. It happened before she realized what she had done. The joy she should have felt placing the idol on the podium and securing the million dollars for herself was immediately dispelled when she realized she’d left her teammate, her partner, lying on his back on the ground. Others ran to congratulate her, but she strode back to where he lay, ready to pull him up and apologize.

Before she could say a word, he pulled her into a hug and whispered in her ear, “Don’t you dare, Swan. You won fair and square. I would have done the same thing.”

The weeks following the show’s taping, and before its airing were almost dreamlike to Emma. There was a million dollars burning a hole in her pocket. Not that she had any grand plans for it besides saving it for her future with her son. But a million dollars. She wanted to share with her friends that she would never have to worry again.

They hadn’t asked any questions when she returned. She was grateful for that. There was too much to explain.

But when the show started to air, and they insisted on weekly viewing parties at her apartment, there was no way around talking about Killian. The first weeks were easier. Only she knew the future. To her friends, he was the hottie on the opposing team. Not the man she’d bared her soul to when the cameras were off and they were alone under the Pacific skies. They didn’t know his story was so similar to her own. They didn’t know that leaving him at the airport, with no indication that she would ever see him again was one of the hardest things she’d ever done.

It was the situation. That’s what she told herself. Nothing about living on an island, competing for immunity and for money could lead to a real connection. Of course it would make her feel like there was more. She had to depend on him. It never would have happened this way if they had met outside of those circumstances. They would hate each other in real life. They wouldn’t get along.

But really, she knew what was holding her back. Knowing he would leave. He needed her on the island, and she knew that as soon as he had the million dollars in his pocket, he would be out the door, just like everyone else she’d come to depend on. She’d let herself trust him on the island, but no further. It was better this way. She was fine. That’s what she told herself in the light of day.

At night, as she fell asleep alone, thinking of the nights she’d drifted off to stories of his life, it was a bit harder to maintain the pretence.

Each week her friend’s looks grew more pointed. Even she had a hard time ignoring what she saw on screen. As much as she ignored the cameras, they were catching everything.

Every time they worked seamlessly as a pair. The way their plans went off without a hitch. The way their moves were in sync. And every time her glance lingered on him a little too long. Each time his eyes followed her when they didn’t need to.

Editing. That’s what she would tell herself as she tried to fall asleep. It was the editing.

When it came down to the night the finale would air, she felt relief. Finally she would be able to reveal to everyone that she had the money. And finally she wouldn’t have the weekly reminders of the man who had so thoroughly invaded her thoughts.

It was hard to watch. She had to leave to the kitchen for the last bit, knowing what came. She couldn’t watch to see what her face must have looked like in those moments when it had all slipped through her fingers. And she definitely couldn’t bare to watch Killian lose. Not all over again.

She stayed in the kitchen, lost in her thoughts until she heard her son shouting from the living room.  

“He threw it. Mom, he totally threw it. Right there he had you, and he dropped it. On purpose.”

“You’re being ridiculous, Henry. He wasn’t going to throw away a million dollars.”

The look she got from Ruby made her think again.

But everyone else was too swept up in congratulating her to dwell on her son’s theory. She was swept up into her friends hugs and cheers, and finally felt like a weight was lifted from her shoulders.

As she tried to fall asleep that night, Henry’s words kept playing over and over. And Ruby’s look. He couldn’t possibly have thrown it. She needed to see for herself. Emma snuck out of bed and queued up the scene. 10 replays and she had to admit her son was right. Killian had dropped the idol. On purpose.

It was late enough her time that it was early in London. They hadn’t spoken since the day their families came to pick them up from the airport. Awkward goodbyes and exchanged numbers. It wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted to talk to him. She hadn’t known how to even start.

Now, she had to.

She dialed, not caring what her overseas plan was. If there was ever a time to spend some of the money, it was now.

“You dropped the idol.” She could see him. Even through the telephone she could see the way he would be scratching behind his ear. The past weeks of watching the show had brought back every one of those mannerisms she had come to love. And everything about him she had come to rely on.

He said nothing.

“You dropped the idol, Killian. One million dollars and you did it on purpose. What were you thinking?”

Finally there was a reply. “Look, Swan, I’ve already gotten an earful of it from my brother who has ever so kindly been letting me live in his spare room and was hoping for a bit of the cash when I won. I don’t need it from you.” He had indeed gotten an earful from his brother. A lecture about how telling a lass how you feel is a much more direct approach than throwing away a million dollars, but Emma didn’t need to know that.

The silence was deafening. Both too scared to speak. But it was Emma who took the next step. If Killian could throw away a million dollars for her, she could put it on the line.

“Henry has been thinking about taking sailing lessons. If I were to buy him a boat…” She let the sentence trail off when she heard the first start of laughter on the other end of the phone.

The producers never gave up trying to get them to come back for an all star episode. What could be better than the return of the couple who fell in love right in front of everyone’s eyes, and the man who threw it all to let her win?