Aarrhhggg!!! I'm so angry, sad, and confused all at the same time!!

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Aarrhhggg!!! I'm so angry, sad, and confused all at the same time!!

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went to turn on the heater in Palomas room but the second I opened the door she jumped up and started screeching. I ran away hoping she wouldnt notice but ha, yeah right.
took her four minutes but she finally cried it out and is back to being KOed!
Paloma has been crying for the past fifteen minutes. She has a new diaper and has been fed. She has her binky in bed with her. She has no reason to cry other than she wants to cuddle back to sleep. I can't let her back into the bed because she needs to learn to fall asleep by herself in the middle of the night. Looks like its gonna be a rough night. I know she's fine because I'm right next to her. She stops for a minute to suck on her pacifier and then she will look at me and start crying again. She just stopped crying for about a minute. Spoke too soon. Fuck.
Shit always happens. I know we learn things by things we go through. And I'm fucking sick of this I've learned enough. Nothing every seems to go right. Just when I think I actually like life again things get fucked up.