#crunkcakes

              Picture property of the Washington City Paper

Review: Crunkcakes

Location: Varies; Delivery in Washington, DC

Price: $4

Flavors: The Dirty Pillow & Buttery Nipple

Score: 5

I first heard about Crunkcakes through the Washington City Paper and later got a tip from the cupcake-loving community that I could score some at The Pug Bar for H Street Bakes. While there, I met the duo behind the cupcakes and their many flavors: The Buttery Nipple, Dirty Pillow, Bacon Maple Whiskey and Nutty Irishmen. I walked away with The Dirty Pillow and The Buttery Nipple.

First, Crunkcakes are awesome!! For several reasons but the most obvious are that they merge two out of my three loves: liquor and cupcakes don’t worry about the third one but it rhymes with Schwinn and walks on two legs. The idea of marrying liquor and cupcakes isn’t a new one but doing it where one doesn’t overpower the other while maintaining the consistency is damn near genius. Luckily, Crunkcakes has done both.

I started off with the Buttery Nipple (How do you not like something called a buttery nipple?) The moist cake was a surprising companion to the frosting which was the actual star. The rich frosting was bursting with my favorite liqueurs, Buttershots and Bailey’s Irish cream. I was literally licking the bag with my fingers looking for more of the sweet cupcake coating.

                      I purposefully saved 'The Dirty Pillow' for last. Anything that is served with its own utensil should be taken seriously. Further this cupcake is made using the famous tres leche cake technique which makes the cake juicy but not soggy. Needless to say, I was excited.                     

Twirling the cupcake around, I examined the soft luscious layers of creamy goodness which were orgasmic! Once I was in, I couldn’t stop. I had to keep going in for more and more until only the creamy liquid center remained. I scraped the walls of the waxy coated cup to finish off a job well done.

For Full City Paper Article Click Here!

They put their heads together on naming the cakes. Some serve as sweet shrines to celebrity saucers, including the Jimmy Buffet, a Key-lime cake flavored with tequila and the Dude, a pound cake imbued with Kahlúa and vodka in homage to Jeff Bridges’ Caucasian-sipping character in The Big Lebowski.

Others are simply salacious, such as the Jägermeister-cranberry combo called the Redheaded Slut and the tres leches flavor with rum dubbed Dirty Pillows.