hello.

idk if anyone even stumbles into my dusty little corner of the internet anymore...but if you do, hai! :3

i haven't been on tumblr for months, been dealing with some health stuff.

my eyesight has been slowly deteriorating for years, before kicking up a gear and changing rapidly in the space of three months towards the end of last year.

lots of scans and appointments later, it was ascertained that i have keratoconus, a disease of the cornea which causes it to bulge out in a cone shape and become thinner as time goes by. there is no cure and does not cause outright blindness, but does significantly impact vision.

and i have it in both eyes. yay!

my left eye was worse off and i needed surgery asap before we got to the point that cross-linking (surgical procedure to stop the deterioration of the corneas due to kc) was no longer feasible. i was within the threshold by one measly micron. a healthy cornea is 550 microns and the minimal thinness of cornea for cross-linking is 400. my left eye was 401. :)

after that it would have had to have been a corneal transplant, or become legally blind. i would have no longer been able to drive or work.

the procedure i needed was an 18 month waiting list on the nhs so i went privately and that cost a pretty penny or two. i think in the last six months or so, i have spent close to £5000 on my fucking eyes.

and the procedure i needed wasn't available locally, so naturally i had to travel to london to have it done. to be fair, it wasn't too bad. my grandmother still lives there so i was able to see her at the same time, so that was nice.

i am a week post surgery today. mostly the pain is done, just have a very gritty sensation and it feels like its too big for the socket if that makes sense. i can only look at screens for so long and at quite a low light.

so, yeah. haven't been writing at all. haven't had the inclination, spoons or inspiration to. maybe that will change. i hope it will. i miss it.

i hope whoever is reading this had a lovely christmas period and new year.