#critiqued

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I will be critiquing my friend, classmate, my close friend Dweyne Mosqueda. This essay will critique his Travel Essay that he made, given by our Teacher May. He has been to Hong Kong and it is his birthplace. 

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Al Rashid O. Tamano

This paper will be critiquing Dweyne Mosqueda’s travel essay which talked about his experiences in Hong Kong, his hometown. But, it has to start with an introduction about Hong Kong. It is a special administrative region of the People’s Republic of China. It comprises 200 islands located in Eastern Asia bordering the South China Sea and China. This country is so interesting due to its jungle of glass and stones and deep natural harbor. With a land mass of 1,104 square kilometers on which 7 million people stay, it is the world’s densely populated city. According to Dweyne, he suggested that individuals must travel to Hong Kong because he says it has amazing street arts, it has the highest bar across the globe, endless hiking  trails, and dim sun which I believe so.

The strengths of this travel essay is giving a good introduction about the place which are firstly, Hong Kong and the writer gave facts and details to describe more about it. Secondly, I think that Dweyne was truthful all throughout this paper because he elaborated in every sentence which talked about his experiences during his time when he was in Hong Kong with the well-spent time with his family. Thirdly, he had clear descriptions about the place and it can also help a reader visualize in their minds on what is happening with the words said by Dweyne. So much about the strengths and here are the weaknesses of this travel essay that Dweyne has committed which are firstly, there were slight incorrect grammars in some of the sentences that he constructed for instance, “Not only that it has a clean environment, but as well as clean and delicious street foods that street vendors sell to their customers.” Secondly, not all of the experiences were not in sequence because in my opinion, some did not connect the dots or were not in order. Thirdly, he could have shared more about his experience in Hong Kong since he shared more about his experiences with his family. I think that his paper would have a better output if only he also shared his own experience in that country.

In conclusion, I suggest to all students in Senior High School that they must engage in a subject like Creative Non-Fiction in order for them to improve and enhance their skills in English writing. I realized that I must thank my teacher for teaching me a good quality education in Creative Non Fiction. Therefore, I will continue onto improving my abilities and skills in the English Language as it will be vital in my next upcoming chapter in my life which is college.