#crispy.ask

hiiii sorry this came so late, i was out with friends

baby why u so Sophie from Howl's Moving Castle

no but i KNOW he would look ETHEREAL if his hair stayed white. like. my honest to god reaction if i were in the bigtop universe would be to cry tears of joy and of despair because 1) im grateful to be seeing someone so gorgeous on this earth and 2) because i know ill never be able to have such beauty for myself. id go insane

and i know allen would LOVE it. it'd be like. best of both worlds kind of. cesare's gorgeous youth and his silver-fox style white hair. he'd freak the fuck out. I'D freak the fuck out. allen has to die. sorry

i think cesare would really hate it at first, and really wants to dye it brown or black to make it feel more "natural", but then his crew assures him that if he just does his make up to look like another zombie, then he'll look cool. and hes like "waittttt you guys are geniuses... yes i may look unnatural and old but maybe i should lean into that..."

also just the fact that his hair staying white kind of erases every part of him that was physically similar to how he looked when he worked for Caligari. does that make sense? like when he was old, he looked pretty much the same as how he did when dead, but with paler skin and white hair. and when he was alive he looked younger (obviously) and that same dark hair that he was known for as a watcher. but now he's got the younger, fuller face of his venetian self plus the new whiter hair of his post-oldification self. thats all him, no part of him is caligari. and would he really like that? would he think he's erasing his 1000 years and trying to pretend like it didn't happen? does he feel a sense of pride, joy, reconciliation with his past self, having finally found a part of him thats fully him? does he feel like he's coping, or that he's trying too hard to move on, or that some part of him craves the familiarity and routine of his watcher self?

maybe the transformation is too sudden, and a part of him hasn't healed enough to warrant such a drastic change. or maybe he needs this drastic change to kickstart his healing.

Have you heard "Sisyphus" by Andrew Bird? I think it's like, THE post-finale Cesdoc song and I humbly suggest it as a song you might enjoy.

Thanks for the kick-ass playlist!

NO WAY.... wait this is crazy glasss hold on

this is another thing that conrad just casually drops on the crew without even blinking. hes (well she? he/she transfem conrad?) not aware this is an important update. he just goes "btw boss i have an appointment with my endocrinologist on tuesday i might have to leave work early" and cesares like "why are you going to your endocrinologist?" and hes like "? im getting consultation on hrt" and the WHOLE truck goes silent

and so like ever since the zomburger gig was paying them thousands of dollars an hour conrad was like "oh my god im transfem" and goes through all of his emotions with his therapist, starting to accept herself, etc etc. all of this to say. the zomburgers only find out that specific moment seen above and its hilarious

YES. YES I WOULD LIKE TO. I WOULD 100% LIKE.

the idea of allen in day to day life, being able to look up at cesare when he sits or something outside and theres this gorgeous backlighting framing his face and making him look almost ethereal, sunlight peaking though his hair which has been washed at this point. i would literally become enlightened if that happened to me.

or like if hes laying down on his bed and just looks up at cesare whos sitting, and watching him do something miscellaneous. reading or scrolling through his phone or flipping through channels on the tv. making note of his little expressions and how he flips between them so easily and so quickly. allen's endlessly fascinated

or when WAIT i have to. im hiding this part im gonna get into suggestive territory heehee

i think allen has GOT to be the corniest, cliche-est, most insufferable man on the planet on valentines day. candles, heart shaped chocolates, written card, roses, rose petals leading up to the bedroom and hes laying there on the bed in a suit and a rose in his mouth and hes playing his "romance playlist" which is mostly rnb and jazz and was 100% curated by Frances but you didnt hear that from me

i dont know whether its funnier if he has dated before or if he hasnt.

because on one hand, if he hasn't ever dated another person before, then this is just like him trying really. really hard to impress cesare and maybe overcompensate for the fact that hes inexperienced.

if he HAS dated other people before, that either means that

a) he's never done this kind of over-the-top bullshit for anyone else, and is just that gay and desperate and pathetic that he'll do all of this for Cesare, resident Old Man and Fungal Survivor

i cant come up with a good name for them rn... but their truck motto would be "food so good, you won't believe your eyes!"

obviously they'd pretend that theyre wearing costumes and their gimmick would be that theyre all cryptids and whatever. theyd probably sell burgers, but i wouldnt be surprised if they also served food from other cultures too. get flatwoods to make some Appalachian cuisine. itll be cool

some cryptids cant work on the truck i fear. santas gotta get back to the north pole! and i think db cooper will get ARRESTED if he shows his face anywhere. i imagine he disappeared after the events of heaviside, and went back to being a legend. hes just cool like that

optometrists hate her!

i also thought she was missing an eye, and i think her eye collection ranges from normal eyecolors to fictional character references to Bright Blue. she puts that one on when she really wants to freak out her coworkers. shows up to work one day with the bright blue Staring Into Your Soul eye and Allen starts making The Tell-Tale Heart references all day. Conrad literally cant look her in the eye when they talk. Cesare begs her to remove it, its so freaky. Frances loves her job.

but also forcibly retraining himself to, instead of those, say Boss when its cesare. on account of the Normal Reaction cesare had the first time it happened to him. please imagine with me. thanks u

dear and darling is absolutely insane and teeth rottingly sweet to imagine but fortunately for you and for me i do enjoy the sound of it

i feel like instead of dear, he'd use "dearest". my dearest, dearest [name], etc. i just think its pretentious enough that he'd use it to sound like a bitch. other pet names for passive aggressive/bitchy/endearing (platonic mostlikely) purposes include "my sweet [name]" and "sweetheart" for older women. the sweetheart thing is so. so rare. because like when would an older woman approach instagram famous tourist killer foodtruck zomburger.

and yoouuuu know that when cesare first heard allen call him boss, pretty boy that he is, his ego went. through the roof and things were RUNNING. through his head. if allen ever accidentally calls him "my dear cesare" that day manager from hell that is known colloquially as Cesare is not making it