Regret: Self Para (Diamond)
what was the last thing your character deeply regretted?
I remember that moment. The moment I woke up in that hospital room and remembered feeling regret as I thought about her. I regretted entering into something I knew was taboo. I regretted allowing her to see my vulnerable side. I regretted not trusting her judgement as she reached for that vase and hit me upside the head with it. Diamond is someone I care about deeply, and just the thought of me believing she had betrayed me, corrupts my every day thoughts.
I wake up and she’s there. She’s beaming next to me with this sensational, angelic smile that captivates my very existence. Her presence alone is something I want to keep around me for as long as I can. When we’re on cloud nine our bodies, soul, and typical routine just seem so perfect. When she’s feeling down and has entered that abyss where no one shall enter, God, it makes me want to smash down those walls and help her. I never thought about loving someone as much as I do, Diamond. I never thought in a million years I could find someone that fills me with such passion--words can’t describe it. Words can’t do it justice.
She is my love, someone whom I feel will be very important in the future. I also regret the day I might end up hurting her. The day I will have to make a decision where it’s either my family or hers. This family, The O’Shea’s, even the fucking Walsh’s, are people that I have given my loyalty to and have taken me in. I would do everything in my power to make sure they rise to the top. However on this journey, I realized something, that one person could change my perception. She might bring me to that traitorous title. A title I never wanted. I pray that one day I’m able to express to the family my love for her and how I can’t see myself with anyone else.
My deepest fear is also my greatest desire. I wish to stay with this woman and I regret that small bit of myself that doesn’t believe in this relationship.