#criescriescries

After they resolve the conflict, Pearl is now, on a subconscious level, fully grasping her need of Spinel. Far gone are the days of Spinel always being the one to chase after Pearl. Now Pearl actively seeks her out when she’s not with Rose, to hang out and talk. Spinel starts off being ecstatic every time, but as more years pass, she wears thin on the subject matter ALWAYS being Rose. So she tries to shake it up a bit.

She takes Pearl out to things she thinks she’ll like; to see new shows being opened, to try new things. Spinel is big on human culture, and wants to eagerly share it with the gems, but Pearl is still reluctant to taking it all in. She does become a fan of ballet performances, and even of fancier circuses with extravagant costumes and acrobatic shows (think Cirque du Soleil.) She’s impressed by how humans, who are so easily broken, train to become athletic performers. Spinel is proud she found something that could further bond her with Pearl.

And she couldn’t wait to find more!

But that would have to be put on hold for a long time, as Rose finds Greg, and Pearl slowly realizes he’s something more to her.

(Greg appears)

It starts with the same small complaints. Spinel could always handle those. She would just need to nod her head, provide silly impersonations of the new lover, and reassure Pearl that they never last.

But something about this one was different.

The first big sign of this came when Greg tried to fuse with Rose.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (We Need To Talk)

The music video occurred the same, with Spinel in the sidelines, trying and failing to stop PEarl from going to Rose to fuse. It always gave her a sinking feeling when she saw Rainbow Quartz.

The most beautiful fusion in her eyes. A reminder of her failures.

She hugs herself as she watches Rainbow dance, her movements elegant and precise, with just the right flair. She’s only there for a second, but it’s enough to send Spinel into a tirade of dark thoughts.

The same old familiar feelings she felt before.

When she came back to the present, Rose was gone, and Pearl was rolling up the mic cord. Pearl’s snippy treatment of Greg was to be expected. Spinel felt bad for Greg, as she always did with every love interest of Rose, but she couldn’t help agree in her mind. Humans were just a novelty to her. She always moved on.

Though Greg’s response to this information was surprising to say the least.

“Well, has any human tried to fuse with a gem before?”

“Uh… no… I don’t think-“

“Then…. I will try!” Mic drop.

Jaws agape.

It was the first time any human had attempted it, and Spinel was sure as soon as Garnet gave him advice that it would backfire miserably. She knew how frustrated humans got with Rose. She was sure he’d be like the rest and move on eventually to get into a more serious relationship with another human. She knew Rose would simply shrug it off and move on to her next big fling.

This was a cycle that worked like clockwork ever since they got here.

But everything she believed would happen crumbled in an instant, as Greg did the one thing she wished she could do, and snapped Rose out of it.

He got through.

Rose stopped laughing.

Spinel’s eyes were glued to the scene. Rose was struggling to make words. They hugged. They were talking. And then they started to dance again.

What just happened?

Did Rose finally… take something seriously?

“I think this one’s my favorite.”

“I think he’s her favorite too…”

Spinel barely registered the conversation that went on with the others. Garnet was proud of Greg, Amethyst was amazed, and Pearl sounded miserable. Where did she stand?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The four finally started to depart halfway through the date, with some gentle coaxing for Pearl to stop latching herself to the rock. Spinel spent the rest of the night in Pearl's room, hugging her as she cried.

“Is this it? Is she going to leave us? TO LIVE IN A VAN?!”

“Don’t be silly, Pearl, of course not. She might be gone for a bit, but she’d never truly leave us. It’s not like she can get off this planet and never return. She’ll always be around.”

Pearl hugged herself. “Okay… you’re right…. But still!! It was bad enough when she had her fling with that arctic explorer, and spent a decade helping him chart that wasteland! How long is this one going to keep going for? Three years? His whole life? It’ll drag on for so long! I can’t keep putting up with seeing his…. DUMB FACE!”

Pearl lifted her arms, exasperated, and walked away from Spinel. She stood at the edge of one of her pillars, looking down, and crossed her arms.

Spinel didn’t follow her; she just stood and shared her own thoughts.

“I don’t think they’ll last as long as you think, Pearl.”

Spinel paused for a bit, trying to form her thoughts, before continuing.

“I…. actually, I think it’s impossible for Rose to keep her attention on someone for that long. I mean, looks at how many humans she’s gone through. It’s been millennia, and the most she’s ever lasted in a relationship has been ten years. Afterwards, the humans change. They move on, go too fast for her. She may stick around and visit them as they age, but she’s never been able to mold herself with them. She’ll always be the same Rose…”

Spinel’s tone got quieter.

“Silly, cheery, energetic, STUBBORN Rose…” Spinel flinched in surprise when she realized how she growled the last part, and snapped her head to check if PEarl caught it too. She was quiet. Ugh…

Panic swelled in Spinel, Pearl was the LAST person she wanted to voice her Rose troubles with. She started walking to her, trying to come up with an excuse. “Oh- I-I meant in a cute way! You know, how she always pouts and-“

The damage control was unnecessary. Once she reached her, Pearl’s expression was clearly a soft one, with blue cheeks and smiling eyes.

She spoke.

“Yeah… that’s Rose….”

Spinel’s shoulders slumped. Her pigtails drooped. But Pearl continued.

“You’re right, Spinel! Humans just can’t fully understand the wonderfulness of Rose! I can’t believe I forgot how nasty they always tend to get around their age of midlife crisis! The nerve of them, telling Rose to ‘grow up!’ She’s PERFECT the way she is!”

Pearl got up, stretched, and turned around, placing a hand on Spinel’s shoulder. Her eyes were still creased, but the glow she had was gone. It never turned on for her.

“Thank you, Spinel, for pulling me back to my senses! Greg is inevitably going to fail her, and when he does, as always, I’ll be right here~ Ah, I can’t believe how pathetic I was to even fret in the first place. But luckily….. You always know what to say…”

Pearl’s smile is tender, her eyes pining Spinel to the ground. “Spinel…. I don’t know what I’d do without you…”

The shiver that sent.

Her face flushed involuntarily like a forest fire, she quickly spun her head to hide. Spinel almost choked, but her defense mechanisms flared up. When all else fails, GO TO JOKES!

“W-Well obviously, you wouldn’t be here. It’s thanks to me that you got out of the battlefield without a scratch, after all. And don’t get me started on the emotional toll!” Spinel dared to look back and hold Pearl’s gaze as she continued. “You know, for as pretty as you are, you really need too much maintenance. Why if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were defective from the start.”

Pearl’s expression changed in the blink of an eye. It wasn’t a mad one. It was quizzical. But it only lasted a thought, and she laughed it off nervously.

“I can’t believe you…. You’re able to say that? No, wait, just…. What are the boundaries…? Um…”

Pearl stepped back.

Oh great, Spinel made this awkward.

She tried to diffuse the situation.

“We’re alone in your room, it’s no big deal if we-“

“Not a big deal? Spinel!” Rigid. Pearl had become rigid, and it made the hearty gem feel like she failed.

“Bringing such things up-“ Pearl held her hand, expecting it to suddenly block her mouth. It didn’t. They were dancing around this carefully. “With….. even just insinuation! It’s- betrayal!”

Pearl wasn’t going to let this go. What a drag to bring this up. A pit began in Spinel’s middle, but she knew how to play along. As always.

“… sorry Pearl. I’ll never.. do that again.”

Pearl nodded, accepting this, and walked further away.

“Sorry to cut this short, but I do have some organizing to do. Instead of going by color, I think I need to re-categorize my weapons by age~”

She hummed as she hopped up more pillars, leaving Spinel to stumble out of the room and into her own, the same old tiredness hanging on her shoulders.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was an uneventful day, for the most part. Just the usual corrupted gem hunt, this time not as successful as others…. But the rest was ok. Just a little tiring.

Everyone was back in their rooms as soon as they warped home, even Rose. It was late, but Spinel decided to take a walk and enjoy the solitude it brought.

See where her feet would take her. She got in a good half hour of sea breeze and gentle tomfoolery. She tried chasing an alley cat to see what it did with the fish it dug out, but it slipped through the shadows of a backyard. She knew she couldn’t follow, she learned THAT lesson years ago.

She headed back to the boardwalk, sitting down on the edge and swinging her legs. The moon was a sliver, but it was big and it was beautiful. Memories of Pink’s base flooded through, and she couldn’t help the smile that formed. Those were fun times. Even if Pink was restless. Even if Pearl had hated her. Spinel’s naivety was still intact, and she was the happiest she’d ever been, feeling close and indispensable to her best friends. How much time has eroded her.

She began to hum the song she wrote for when Pink would return, but was cut by a voice she never expected.

“OH HEY! Spinel!”

Pink ships above!

Spinel jumped from the shock and looked up at the human that walked towards her.

This will be weird.

“O-Oh, hey Greg! What’re you doing out so late?”

As much as she didn’t want it, Greg plopped himself next to her, and made himself comfortable. Spinel felt alarm bells going off.

“Oh, you know, just gathering some inspiration. I had this idea for a song involving being stuck in the moon-“ Spinel hacked a bit. “But I couldn’t get the melody quite right…. And I thought, hey. Maybe looking at the big rock might help!”

Spinel didn’t know ho to reply. The best she could do was say, “I see….”

They stayed sitting in silence for a bit, Spinel hoping above all else that he would get bored and leave.

Spinel was known to be a chatterbox; she could make conversation flow for hours. And Spinel really didn’t hate Greg at all; she rather liked his music, liked how he laughed at her jokes, and was amazed by the energy and enthusiasm he always had. She would on any other day have been able to easily direct an aimless talk about songs and planets and moons, but after what she saw, after the change she felt he almost caused on Rose from their talk.

Spinel didn’t know what to make out of Greg anymore. Bless his being, he tried, but she was just too-

“So, um. You know, it’s good I got out tonight. I’ve been meaning to talk to you…”

What.

Spinel gawked at him, scared but intrigued. Why would he ever be interested in talking to her? As always, she tried to play it off.

“Talk to me? What’s up? Did you decide to quit music, and move on to comedy? Need help writing jokes? Don’t worry! I may be a bit rusty, but I’m pretty sure I can still rouse a crowd.”

She winked.

“Leave everything to me~! All it’ll cost you is an arm and a GREG!”

Greg’s laughter was boisterous. Spinel couldn’t help the snippet of pride from it. It made her feel like even after all these hard years, she’s still got it.

But Greg popped the bubble a bit when he recovered. “THAT was a BAD one. And VERY off-topic.”

Greg composed himself back to his relaxed posture, and stared off to the sea. Spinel kept her eyes on him.

He finally talked after a deep breath.

“So uh. Pearl….”

The name drop soured her mood quickly.

Pearl?

No.

Spinel wanted to bolt, but Greg noticed and jumped in to calm her down.

“Hey! Hey! It’s okay! I’m not gonna tell you anything about it! I just…”

He stopped for a bit but continued.

“It’s kinda hard not to notice, you know? You… You look at her the same way she looks at Rose.”

That felt like a slap to the face.

It had never occurred to her to be compared like that.

Her embarrassment was evident, and she hid her face with her hands, failing in responding. She just wanted to melt.

But Greg had no mercy and kept going anyways. “Anyways, it’s not just that. I um. Was playing back the music video I shot the other day, with the fusion, and…”

Another pause, this time longer. It piqued Spinel’s interest enough to have her come out of hiding to peek at his expression. He was already looking at her; it froze her. “And I noticed your expression when they formed….”

The shame, how it burned.

Defenses were up.

She could just say she was jealous. That’s probably what he expected. And while it holds some level of truth, saying so would open such a big backtracking discussion she may not ever be able to have. She never wanted to bring that up, ever. But-

“I just…”

Greg’s eager eyes shone as bright as the cosmos he wrote about. Spinel was sure she wanted to share. She was so tired of holding it in. But she just couldn’t let it go. She simplified it, instead.

“I can’t fuse.

At all.

I… I tried! Once! But it just… didn’t work out at all. I guess I’m just…”

Afraid/ insecure/ unsure of herself/ resigned to being alone

Given up on feeling wanted.

“Too…. Nervous…”

That was it. That was the lame, scrambled excuse she came up with. She waited to be called out, to be told she was being silly. But Greg is a human full of surprises. “Hey, it’s ok!” He smiled warmly. “If there’s anything I learned about that night, it’s that… fusion doesn’t matter. Not in the long run, anyways. What Garnet has is amazing but….”

He squeezed his leg, grin getting wider. “Being two separate people and enjoying each other’s company is pretty good too. If you were always stuck together, how would you be able to hug one another? To tease one another? To talk things through? I can imagine it being tough when both sides disagree… It must feel like you’re splitting in two…” Greg shivered. He had thought about the implications of fusion more than Spinel thought he would. She was pleasantly surprised by the care he put into learning things about them.

He was…

He was a good person, and a good listener.

Spinel couldn’t fight off the smile she gave back to him.

He gave her a pat in the shoulder and reassured her she could talk to him anytime. ‘Any close friend of Rose is a close friend of mine!’

To pay him back, she ended up teaching him the melody to Rose’s return song. He enjoyed it a lot, and thanked her profusely before getting up to run to his van to jot it down.

As soon as he left, the emotions came pouring in.

She felt guilty, but she liked him. Secretly, she hoped she was wrong.

She hoped he would stick around longer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been years. The longest she’s stayed with a human….

Pearl has become subdued and quiet. Spinel has spent most of her time trying to get her out, but they both notice the changes happening. Rose is… growing. Rose has been sticking closer to Greg for longer.

Rose looked like she was….

“I’m… pregnant!”

The gems stared in shock.

Amethyst was the first to break it, crowding Rose with excited questions. She had no clue what it meant. Rose giggled and answered back enthusiastically. She didn’t notice the other three’s expressions. But Spinel swiveled immediately to check on the other two.

 Garnet bent and held her head. She was giving tiny tremors and her lips pulled back to a grimace. Was she trying to see the future?

Pearl looked sick. She was holding her hand over her mouth, and shut her eyes tight. No tears came out, though.

Spinel’s gut twisted, but she wrapped her arms around both and held them close. Garnet spoke in a hushed tone.

“She’s really going to do this. She’s…. She’s going to…”

Garnet’s confirmations made Pearl stifle a choking sound. It caught Rose’s attention.

She walked over to the trio, her face pulled with concern.

“I… I know this is a surprising, but….” The corners of her mouth pulled up. She beamed. “You have to admit this is pretty exciting too…! Can you believe this? Me? A gem? Capable of having a BABY?! Look at me! I’m changing! In a way that was truly, never expected by anyone! I’m finally something NEW. And this?” She places her hands on her stomach. “Oh, they will be so… WONDERFUL! Something completely original… So special…” The warmth radiates from her words. She’s so happy. She’s so proud. She’s getting what she wants.

And, like always, she’s not thinking about the others.

Garnet moves away from Spinel’s embrace to step towards Rose. She finally replies. “Do you even know what you’re saying? Do you know what I am SEEING? Rose! This- This will… CHANGE you!”

Pearl clutches Spinel harder, and Spinel can feel wetness where her face is buried.

Rose’s eyebrows are knit, she looks sympathetic. But her eyes stay hard and calloused. “I fully understand it, Garnet. And I’m ready for it. I talked it over with Greg…”

Everyone flinches at that.

“And we agreed that this is something… beautiful. To start a new life from nothing? To be a part of it? How amazing is that?! I just-“ Her smile doesn’t waver. Her tone turns pleading, with an edge. “This is my decision, and I made it. Can’t you be happy for me?”

There’s nothing they can say.

Garnet stomps away, Pearl scurries to her room, and Amethyst looks around, confused on the conflict.

“What happened? Why’s everyone so mad?”

She notices the stare Spinel is giving Rose, and steps back.

“Uh… Actually, I just remembered Vidalia was going to teach me how to play the drums!” She backs out and turns into an owl, flying away.

Rose crosses her arms.

“Are you going to question me too?”

She sounds accusing. She sounds…. Childish.

Spinel shakes her head. She has to try.

“Rose, it’s just… Did you really not give us any thought? How this hurts us? How we- We need you?”

Spinel steps towards her, but her back is bent. She feels vulnerable. She feels terrible. But she hopes she can get through Rose like…

Like Greg did.

“I think…. I think we need to talk this through… together! You should listen to what we have to say. We can-“

Rose stepped back. Her face was contorted in a way Spinel never saw before. Anger directed at her.

“Talk? You want us to talk? That’s fine. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m pregnant. This is happening. There is no stopping this.” She stops to huff, holding her hand to her head. “I understand this is sudden, and… I know it’s a lot. But I don’t want our last moments to be spent fighting, Spinel.”

Rose reaches to hold Spinel’s arms. She slides her hands to hold hers tenderly.

“I don’t want my last months to be full of yelling. Full of accusations. Full of worries. I don’t want to look back, I don’t want to think about the negative. Can’t you just let me have this?”

Rose’s tone turns sweet. She’s back to playing for sympathy.

“Please… Please Spinel? After all I’ve been through…. After what we fought for… Don’t I deserve to choose what to do with myself? Can’t I go in peace?”

Spinel feels the familiar trickling sense she felt under Rose’s stare so many years ago. She’s powerless to the influence. She nods and chokes back her retorts. Rose’s smile brands itself into her mind.

“Thank you… I’m eternally grateful for you, Spinel…

My sweet, caring Spinel….”

Spinel feels her gem singing her praises. She’s on cloud nine, on ecstasy. She feels like she won something beyond valuable, all for one simple word.

But her elated emotions and giant smile grew strained as Rose continued.

“And with your help, I’m sure the others can come around too!”

……. Huh?

“Amethyst doesn’t understand. We can use this to our advantage. She will miss me, but it’s better her last memories with me are in… blissful ignorance.”

… wait….

“Garnet is a tough one, but she can see my resolve. She’ll come to accept this, and afterwards, I’m sure she’ll find the change to be something beautiful too. A good leader. As for PEarl…”

Spinel’s heart stops. Her eyes turn into pinpricks and her arms shake.

Rose sighs wistfully, holding her cheek. “Pearl will move on. She has all of you for company! She will learn, and she will get better with everyone’s help.” She hums, thinking it over. “This is for the best… Pearl always wanted something more I couldn’t give her. It’ll be tough, but she can finally let go of me. Oh!”

Rose laughed. “And you four will make the best family for this little one! Greg told me he could cover the baby’s early years, but I just KNOW you will give them the best support! Ah…”

Rose lets go of Spinel to caress her abdomen again, dazing off.

“It will be great. Honestly, I sometimes wish I could stick around and SEE it…”

This was real.

She has convinced herself on how correct she was; it was clear to Spinel. But Spinel wasn’t sold on this at all.

This is too fast. This is too smothering. She doesn’t want to be used. She wont let herself be used! She doesn’t agree to this! She wont be a part of this!

There’s no reasoning with her, there’s no convincing her. There was nothing she could do with Rose.

But there was something she could do with herself.

She does the only thing she can think of.

For the first time in her life, Spinel runs away, ignoring Rose as she called out for her to return. Feeling just the littlest bit free from her grasp, and the biggest slice of satisfaction as she managed to never look back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not much else to say for the end.... Just more me kicking myself for being a perfectionist now. This is my hell. I've avoided writing fics like the plague for years because I knew this would happen and here I am XD aaah

My creativity is running on fumes, but I shall continue force feeding it till I'm in my grave. I must!