#createmeaning

While doing some research I realized I checked all the boxes for potential reasons to have an existential crisis: 

Turning an age ending in 9 or 0 - 30 🗸

Loss of someone dear to you - my Nana 🗸

Major life changes - broken marriage, moved across the country 🗸🗸

I google searched “The meaning of life” so many times.

I asked myself every day “why do I have to be here?” Like “why do I exist?” “why do WE exist?” “how is this the culture we have created?” “how are other people happy with this materialistic trivial existence we force on everybody?” “Literally nothing matters”

I could not find anything that made me feel better. 

I had started out with a quote on my mirror that said “Find meaning.” 

One day I had to erase the word “Find” and replace it with “Create.”

In the end I have settled with the conclusion that there is no meaning. The only things that matter in life are the things you decide matter to you personally. 

For me I can start with personal relationships. I love my friends and my family. I love meeting new people and learning from other people about how they experience life. It has actually deepened my interest in psychology. I think it is fascinating that not everybody feels the same way that I do. I want to know what other people value and assign meaning to, why do you get up every morning?

Despite the fact that I don’t see any real meaning in people being here on this planet or suffering through some of the menial aspects of life in todays world, I still firmly believe we should aim to have a more fair society. Life is hard enough as it is, I think we should try to make it as easy and accessible to everyone as possible. That is definitely my passion, meeting people, helping people, understanding people. 

I want to use my experiences through this, other dark times in my past and whatever obstacles I may face in the future to help anyone else that may be feeling similar to what I have felt. 

I’m just going to share my life experiences, my thoughts, travels, reliance on music to get me through rough patches, geeky references and whatever else comes to mind in hopes that someone reads some portion of this and relates or shares their story or insight as we all stumble through this thing we call life.