I'm still too upset to make this a coherent essay so have a bulleted list in no real order instead:

WHY IS RIPLEY WORKING WITH UMBRASYL. LIKE. LITERALLY W H Y. having her send umbrasyl after the party/kamaljiori is incredibly unnecessary. part of ripley's cleverness was using the scry device to get information without tipping her hand. and since she has cabal's ruin (or did, literally any changes are fair game now I guess), vm will have to go after her to get it back. it's not like there was storyline that needed to be cleaned up or condensed for time, so literally WHY change that.

the kamaljiori puzzle!! if i had a nickle for every time an adaptation wrote out a sphinx puzzle i cared A Lot about from a beloved story I'd have two nickles (vm and harry potter) I was SO FUCKING STOKED for that puzzle, and the challenge they replaced it with was not great. I did genuinely enjoy the song, but god. I get that they were trying to make scanlan getting mythcarver about him earning it but that's just not how it worked with half the vestiges. pike didn't earn the plate of the dawnmartyr on her own or with particular focus on her, and the same for keyleth and the spire of conflux. it's also especially stupid that they took away the elemental puzzle considering this was ONE EPISODE after keyleth ~earned her fire elemental state (which - eh, I'm back and forth on how I feel about how they're doing her aramente, but at this point it's a minor issue). A NAME IS SUPPOSED TO BE EARNED.

the GRATUITOUS UMBRASYL/KAMALJIORI FIGHT. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. WHY. YOU HAVE SO MUCH STORY TO GET THROUGH WHY ARE YOU EATING EPISODE TIME WITH A FIGHT WE DON'T NEED. this also goes for the not-beholder fight, but we'll get to that. I literally tuned out for several minutes because I was so frustrated by it.

I didn't love that grog was ignoring pike and stabbed her, as opposed to the true accident during the puzzle. in part because I genuinely loved, "it's ok, grog" and wanted to hear ashley deliver that finally but mostly because grog DOESN'T IGNORE PIKE. EVER. she is his compass and he consults her always! all things considered, this is also a minor issue at this point since it wasn't terrible, but I didn't love it.

why the fuck did they split the party!!!! what does that achieve?!!!! why is keyleth so bad at magic?!! this is back to that waffling on how I feel about the aramente point. her aramente is a little about magic/skill development, sure, but it has ALWAYS been much more about her growing as a person. why the fuck are we giving her all these issues when her actual problems are about emotional connection?? the stuttering with magic thing is just frustrating, especially because we already have pike doing that (which DOES make sense, and I've liked that change/felt it fit really well). ANYWAY we're going to have to do two split storylines now which is ONLY going to serve to draw things out longer. so once again, we are making changes that don't condense or simplify things that could be! like. hey. maybe stop adding shit in so that we can get an actual emotional exchange between the couples or comedic scene that isn't about scanlan??

SCANLAN. I dislike how they're handling him. again, minor issue at this point, but part of why him leaving after raishan was SUCH a gut punch was because no one - players or audience - saw it coming. I really liked that. I get that they have the ability to clue the audience now in a way that they didn't during the campaign (I think a lot about how this might have been ruined had they had talks from the beginning of c1, glad we didn't know tbh) but I actually prefer it blindsiding the audience

the comedy is just. it's missing. the number one thing I come back to about campaign 1 is that it was the funniest. it was fun and heartwarming and A GOOD TIME between the Big Danger. I expected it to get whittled because this is a dense arc, but I didn't expect it to get truly obliterated. where is my broom target practice? where is vax getting locked in a closet because he's day drunk? where is the shopkeeper getting sold the knick knacks of kaa?? the entire party trying to ~appease galdric and then grog just telling him to heel???? one of these. I just wanted one.

ZAHRA. Z A H R A. I tried to be ok with the changes. I really, really did. but the zahra I love is unrecognizable from the tiefling we have in tlovm. for her to send the not-beholder at the party to ~test them? like. small mercies in that she apparently wasn't trying to kill them or keep the vestige for herself but that is literally the lowest bar I could possibly set. the zahra I know urged kash to help the party MULTIPLE times because it was the right thing to do. the zahra I know can't stand people being hurt or trapped. WHERE WAS SHE. honestly I just...all I could think of during ep 4 was how BAD I felt for mary elizabeth. I can't believe this is a character she wanted zahra to be.

KASH. I care less about him than zahra because zahra is a legit fave, but I really liked kash?? I really liked the zero charisma dead-pan cleric who was afraid to use his big powers. he was also gone! why on EARTH did you give all of zahra's altruism to kash? why make him ~charming? he flirted with keyleth of course, but part of why it was so GOOD was that he wasn't slick about it! he is a mean flirt! it just worked because keyleth is also A Mess! these were two VERY inexperienced people stumbling into a flirtation, which was what was charming.

ok. it's time to talk about vax. a character I love. like, genuinely love. maybe one of my favorite male characters ever. I hateeeee what they are doing with him. the not-beholder fight was U N N E C E S S A R Y. I don't like the visions of purvan. I don't like that he is ~chosen. I don't like that he's been seeing the raven queen before the resurrection. I was able to let it go before, but now that I see the direction they're taking him I H A T E it. vax wasn't chosen. vax didn't have some special connection to her before the resurrection. vax's ties to her are ALL ABOUT VEX (at least to begin with). he drags his feet every step he takes towards the raven queen. his becoming her champion is a constant struggle that doesn't get resolved until nearly the end of the series. it's such a slow burn, and it comes from both sides! they spend ~50 episodes making it work, but it is a choice. an active choice! vax chooses to put the armor on, after vex urges him to. I suppose they were trying to do that with vax's ~memory of vex, but it was the complete opposite of that entire conversation. tlovm!vex told him that it was out of his control. c1!vex told him the values of the raven queen, and points out that they're aligned with the twins' values! she helps vax see why he could choose to embrace her, NOT THAT HE HAS NO CHOICE.

new block because I have too many feelings apparently!

also, vax telling keyleth they don't have time to go to pyrrah?? who is this man. where is vax 'number 1 keyleth fan supporter of everything she does' ildan? also just the sheer lack of care about people who are suffering?? not the vax I know. this lack of support also made korrin identifying vax as keyleth's love interest just hysterical - based on how they interacted in front of korrin, how ON EARTH would he know. give me my gooey 'we're almost dating but not quite yet!!!' couple

AND GIVE ME MY FUCKING PERC'AHLIA SLOW BURN. other than the blush with the coat, and the "darling, take off the mask" last season, do non-c1 viewers have any clue about their dynamic and interest? even the vax punch gave no hint to perc'ahlia; he could have been talking about anyone in the party because it was so short and all about vax. (had you not had the not-beholder fight, conversations sure could have been longer than 5 seconds!!!)

and now it's time to talk about vex. I miss her. because the woman in tlovm is not the character I love. I actually have so many complaints at this point I don't know where to start. this vex is just...so two dimensional. vex is my favorite because of just how complex and well-developed she was. where are her soft moments? where are her playful moments? vex is SO NOT 'hot girl who shoots arrows and never loses her cool'. also if you're going to give her the broom without any mention of her greed ("I'm well aware that my greed is what got me killed" and then PROCEEDS TO STEAL like. *breathes out* fine.), at the very least can you let her talk about flying? can we get that tiniest of peeks into her psyche?

WHY ERASE RAVEN'S SLUMBER. I was looking forward to galdric, and that would have taken a FRACTION of that not-beholder fight.