a poem carl recently liked on substack, found by @missoneminute ....
i forgave you ages ago / did you forgive yourself?
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a poem carl recently liked on substack, found by @missoneminute ....
i forgave you ages ago / did you forgive yourself?

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He's so pretty in the teaser I need to see more of him
DAY // NINETEEN
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ugly
pfw 2025
Divine punishment for not drawing Lyle in a bikini. I will atone for this and draw him in three bikinis as penance I'm sorry Lylers I should've done this sooner đđ

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Star Trek: Lilip
Fanfic: Seventeenth Letter
Summary: When a ship from the Gamma Quadrant arrives, Lilip is tasked with studying a peculiar individual by the name of Bahf. However, it becomes obvious to Lilip that she might know something about their species.
Word Count: 16637
Author's Notes: OH BOY. I have a lot of notes. Where do I start?
Lilip is a Star Trek OC owned by @cruisingheightswithdragons! I was given permission to write a one shot using them. They are so so silly and I love them so much. I'm begging you on my hands and knees to read Cruising's Lilip Chronicles. This particular fic takes place sometime between "Lilip's Holiday" and "Surveyors."
Bahf is owned by me. :]
I admit I'm not the most familiar with TNG, so canon characters are written to the best of my ability. I haven't watched the entire series, and I should probably get on that.
The ichkhari and all related material mentioned during the holodeck scene is a species mentioned briefly in the beginning of the TNG Pocketbook Here There Be Dragons by John Peel. Looking them up, you will find nothing, but I swear these guys do exist!!
In the same scene, the song Lilip plays is "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" by The Smiths.
Anyway, hope you enjoy!! :D
Lilipâs Personal Log, Stardate 43703.0.
Thereâs a ship I donât recognize not far outside the window of my quarters. I was asleep moments ago, but then there was this flash of light that had come from it when it arrived that mustâve woke me up. Its color almost reminds me of a Klingon Bird-of-Prey, but itâs too small to possibly be that. It looks more like a shuttlecraft of some sortâŠ
Itâs likely it belongs to a species I just havenât seen yet, but thereâs always that chance it may possibly be something entirely new!
The thought filled them with a certain child-like excitement and wonder, even when the ship had unceremoniously roused them from sleep moments earlier. A new species! A sapient species! When was the last time theyâd seen one? It felt like eons ago, and to know there was a sliver of a chance that there was one just outside the Enterpriseâs hull, it left their mind to wonder what they might possibly look like.
Leaning up close to the chilled window and staring at the shuttleâs exterior hardly helped. It was oblong with wings that curved toward inwards as if gesturing to itself. At the bow and stern, it appeared to have almost bulbous growths. The only thing all that pointed to was that, whoever these people were, they had very different ideas of what a ship should look like.
Lilip was able to identify some sort of title near the bow, but with the darkness of space, it was hard to tell anything other than for the top of a few letters they could not immediately recognize in that moment.
I wonderâŠ
They picked up one of the PADDs they had left out the night before and began looking through it eagerly, sitting down upon whatever nearest surface was available. Surely, someone at the bridge had to have made documents of the ship.
Second Officerâs Personal Log, Stardate 43702.9.
It appears that we have made first contact with an individual named Bahf of the Welfanite people, a sentient, sapient, warp-capable species belonging to the Welfanite sector located in the Gamma QuadrantâŠ
Lilipâs mind whirled. First contact! Welfanite! Gamma Quadrant! The mere news felt like a burst of electricity in their system. No amount of sleep would ever suffice again! They could only hope to get a glance at this character, âBahf,â whoever they were. Was it foolish to ponder what sort of adaptations they may have such late hours? Where did they come from? How did they evolve into what they were now? What did they even look like?
âWelfanite,â they whispered onto the cold, night air, testing the name for themself as they stared up into the ceiling. âWelfaniteâŠâ The name only caused a shiver of excitement to run through them.
However tempting it was to try and creep up into the bridge and try to get a look at this Welfanite for themself, they knew they were not scheduled for night shift. The thought was a little disheartening, but those on the bridge likely had it handled. Maybe Lilip would be able to see Bahf somewhere else on the Enterprise later onâŠ
Turning their attention back to the PADD, they looked to see if Data had left any other bits of information regarding the discovery in his log.Â
âŠBahf seems to avoid giving context for as to why she had left her homeworld and her people. Neither does she indicate how she had arrived in the Alpha Quadrant from the Gamma Quadrant. She is currently seeking political asylum within the Federation in exchange for any and all information she may be able to provide on the Welfanites.
Subspace scans showed no signs of verteron particles or other similar anomalies that may explain a possible wormhole or other spatial passageway. It is best advised to alert Captain Picard as soon as possible.
Thatâs odd⊠Lilip could not help but think at seeing no explanation for how they arrived. How were they able to travel from all the way out there to here? Did they have some sort of special technology to safely travel from the Gamma Quadrant? They could not help but wonder what Geordi would think of it.
Tail twitching, they looked over the log again, whether it be for something they may have missed or just to reassure themself they had read that right. Welfanite⊠Lilipâs thoughts repeated quietly in awe. From the Gamma Quadrant⊠All the way out there? Their mind whirled with ideas and thoughts regarding this person, and for a moment, they sat there, staring at the PADD in their hands.
What are they likeâŠ? Are they even humanoid? Why are they here, of all places to be? Nonetheless, they were grateful for their unexpected arrival. It was something new and exciting, and maybe something they could even study in the near distant future, even if only through second-hand reports about the WelfanitesâŠ
They could only eagerly await those reports.
âŠ
âPicard to Lilip.â
âMmphâŠ?â
They sluggishly opened their eyes, slowly attempting to rouse themself out of sleep. Untangling themself from Tango, Lilip sat up in bed and rubbed their tired eyes. What was that noise? Hopefully nothing important. âComputer, time?â âThe time is 0500 hours,â it responded mechanically.
Lilip cringed at hearing that. 0500 hours? Thatâs awfully early⊠Not to forget waking up earlier.
But the thought of the ship from last night quickly drowned any thought of sleep again and was almost instantly replaced with a sense of exhilaration at the idea of a new species once more. It felt as if adrenaline had been pumped into their veins at the mere thought of it.
âPicard to Lilip. Please respond.â
They looked up, startled to hear the captainâs voice over the intercom system. Lilipâs tail involuntarily settled itself over their lap as they considered why he would contact them so early on in the morning.
âLilip here,â they answered, hoping he did not hear the morning hoarseness in their voice. They quietly coughed in an attempt to clear it.
âPlease come to my ready room. There is something we need to discuss."
The phrase ready room caused their eyes to widen. âYes, sir! Right away!â
âThank you. Picard out.â
Lilip immediately leapt out of their bed and scavenged for whatever more appropriate clothes they had on hand, even if it meant wearing another one of Wesleyâs hand-me-downs, and hastily prepared themself for the day.
Rushing out of their quarters, Lilip nearly ran into several people minding themselves in the corridors. Although many did cast odd glances at the alien nearly sprinting down the halls like a madman, they hadnât the time to even acknowledge them. They only slowed their gait to a slightly more leisurely pace when they saw Simon Tarses similarly headed toward the turbolift.
âHey, Simon!â Lilip gave a friendly smile at sighting him, though they sounded a little hurried.
The quarter-Vulcan returned the expression, although a bit hesitant. âCaptain Picard has requested my appearance in his ready room.â
âOh, you too?â They raised their brows. âMaybe it's something to do with the medical and science departments.â
Entering the turbolift after them, Simon gave the computer orders for the bridge, and then answered Lilip, âI suppose so.â
There was this anxious feeling that bubbled in their chest, an eagerness to physically move and make their way to the bridge on their own, but it was a pointless desire once the turbolift shut its doors and hummed to life. It moved through the Enterprise like a red blood cell through capillaries, its passengers the oxygen it carried up to the heart of the ship.
Standing idly, Lilipâs tail twitched erratically. They hoped, silently, they knew what Captain Picard was implying by âdiscuss,â but it felt wrong to assume such a thing, for it sounded almost too extravagant to imagine.
Simon quirked a brow at their tail, but he made no remark.
âDid you see the ship outside earlier?â Lilip asked, hoping to break the silence.
âItâs impossible to miss with the light that had preceded it. It vaguely reminds me of a Terran peanut. I donât believe Iâve seen any other ship quite like it.â
âData said that it belonged to the Welfanite people, to a person named Bahf.â
Simon furrowed his brows at them. âThe⊠âWelfanitesâŠ?ââ He echoed, sounding incredulous. Pausing, he then inquired with a look of concern, âHow were you able to get this information? You werenât looking at personal logs, were you?â
Lilip stiffened, and they then pulled an anxious smile at him. âUhm, maybeâŠ?â
He opened his mouth to object, but the turbolift doors opened to the mostly-empty bridge before he was given the chance to speak. One or two crewmen tossed glances in their direction as the two stepped out, but they were quick to return to their own duties. With Simon in tow, Lilip led the way to Captain Picardâs ready room, more than relieved to find an excuse to abandon that conversation.
Upon entering, they found him warily watching a figure leaning over his pet lionfishâs tank. When the doors shut, the figure flinched and straightened up, as if broken from some sort of trance, and she swiveled on her hoof toward the two.
Lilip was startled by her and could only assume the individual to be Bahf. She seemed to be nearly seven feet tall, with thickly-furred digitigrade legs and a lengthy, muscular tail that almost entirely lacked hair. Green was the only color Lilip could really define her as having, and if her clothes nor fur were not such a color, she wouldâve been entirely varying shades of green.
âCrewman Simon Tarses, Miss Lilip,â Captain Picard started dryly, nodding to each of them. He then moved his hand in the direction of the figure. âThis is Miss Bahf of the Welfanites. She will be staying with us for the time being.â The Welfaniteâs eyes were pinned upon Lilip. For a species with protruding fangs, her pupils were strangely horizontal, reminding them of⊠their mind came to a blank.
What was that species from Terys Beta called again?
Turning her gaze back to Captain Picard, Bahf made the first move. âYou are joking, right? You jest! That is a diplomat! Youâre not sending a diplomat to do a scientistâs work.â She waved a clawed hand in Lilipâs direction. âTry again, Mr. Picard. I would think a Human such as yourself would know his positions of command,â she spoke dismissively, practically tauntingly.
Captain Picard let out the most restrained of exasperated sighs, steeling himself for his next words. âMiss Bahf, I do not know your people nor your culture, but Miss Lilip here is a very fine xenobiologistââ ââXenobiologist?ââ Bahf interrupted and pulled her lips back in a wide grin, revealing sharp teeth. Turning back to Lilip, she continued, âI would never have expected that from you, but I suppose it would make sense considering your peopleâs history. Please, do enlighten me: What led you here?â
A shiver ran down Lilipâs spine. They werenât exactly certain of whether it was from her choice of words or her oddly knowing expression. Hesitating, they opened their mouth to try and make a reply or defense of some kind, but they were thankfully saved by Captain Picard, who raised a silent hand to stop them.
âBahf.â Hardening his gaze, he stood and paused, waiting to gather her attention. âAs I was saying, Lilip here is a fine xenobiologist, and I am more than glad to have them on this ship. If you wish to argue with command, save it for another time.â
Pride swelled in their chest at his words. Though they were taken aback, it was nice to hear someone think that of them, let alone from Captain Picard. Turning to the two at the door, he continued, âCrewman Simon, Miss Lilip, you two will be in charge of collecting information regarding Welfanite biology. At this point in time, I do not require an in-depth study, but some basic scans and tests will do just fine.â
Simon cast a brief, wary glance toward Bahf. âSir, not to question your orders, but why are we doing this?â
âWhy, political asylum, of course!â Bahf replied before Captain Picard could gather his words. âItâs only a fair trade.â Captain Picard sharply inhaled but gave no other acknowledgement toward her. âMiss Bahf is the first Welfanite weâve made contact with, and one of the first species hailing from the Gamma Quadrant through technological means. With her permission, it is best we gather this data now rather than later so when, presumably, more Welfanites make their way here, we can assist them as needed.â It was obvious to Lilip that he purposefully neglected the fact that she refused to explain why she was here or why she sought such a thing.
There was something strange to them, though. Why would Bahf willingly hand herself over to science? Glancing at her, there had to be something Lilip was missingâŠ
âŠor something Bahf is missing.
âYouâll have access to one of the workspaces on Deck Eight,â Captain Picard concluded. âEverything should be there, but you may contact Dr. Crusher if you require anything.Â
âDismissed."
Once the three of them funneled out of his ready room, he let out a small sigh. He hoped he hadnât made a mistake by letting Lilip partake in this. In a way, this was a small test of his. If it went smoothly, as he preferred, it would give him reason to speak with one of the admirals on promoting them from a civilian position.
If not, well⊠Only time would tell.
âŠ
En route to Deck Eight, the three of them stood tensely about the turbolift. Simon knit his brows together in worry and tried to avoid staring at Bahf, mostly focusing on the doors. Lilip leaned against one of the walls with their tail coiled around one of their legs. Entirely ignoring Simon like he didnât exist, Bahf blatantly stared at Lilip as if they were the most fascinating thing sheâd seen in her lifetime.
âLilipâŠâ Bahf started, sounding as if she were testing something, âwhat are you?â
Cringing, it took everything in them not to viscerally recoil at the question. They looked toward Simon for assistance, who soon stepped in for their aid.
âThey arenât quite sure. Itâs a personal matter for them.â
Hearing Simon speak, Bahf gave a startled expression, for once dropping the constant smile. âOh, oh! I see, I see. I hadnât meant it that way in the slightest.â Leaning down toward her, Bahf gave a more empathetic look, but something about it felt oddly detached. Was it the way her elongated, deer-like ears still perked up with vapid excitement despite the softened features of her face? Or the way the tufted tip of her tail still raised upward in some sense of delighted surprise? âI do apologize. The past is a fickle thing. You never know what people have behind them these days.â
âItâs okay,â Lilip assured her with a half-smile, although internally still a little discomforted. Surely, they were reading her wrong. Maybe Welfanites had different ways of expressing themselves. A small part of them wondered what could have resulted in the species appearing this way.
Standing back up, Bahf returned the smile. âGood, good. It would truly be awful if I had upset you otherwise. Not a very good impression from my people!â She laughed, waving a hand. âPlease, feel free to yell at me if I make a mistake. It would be better for my ears to go deaf from the consequences than if I were to repeat such a thing mindlessly over and over again.â
They perked up at that. ââYell at you?ââ Lilip echoed incredulously. âWhy would I yell at you?â
âYou lot donât yell at each other?â Bahf looked at them with wide eyes, then looked to Simon. âAt all?â
âNoâŠ?â Furrowing their brows, Lilip tilted their head at her. âWhy would we yell at each other?â
âWe work together just fine,â Simon added.
âWell, of course you both donât yell at each other. Otherwise, how in all the stars would you get anything done?â Bahf shook her head. âI mean, your⊠Picard. The captain. He doesnât yell at either of you? Youâre not telling me you never make any sort of mistake!â
âNo, of course we make mistakes, but I donât think Captain Picard has ever⊠yelled at any of us,â they tentatively answered, trying to recall any instance of that.
â...I heard from someone that he told Wesley to shut up on the bridge once,â Simon answered, âbut I donât believe he yelled at him, per se. Maybe he raised his voice, as heâs done it some other times in the past, but I wouldnât know. Thereâs little Iâve seen from him personally.â
âHe did?â Lilip turned to him, surprised. âWesleyâs been told to shut up by Captain Picard?â They covered their mouth with their hand, hiding their amused expression. Perhaps it was not ideal to find it funny, but they could not help but find the situation at least a little bit amusing.
âIt was a stressful situationâŠâ Simon muttered sheepishly.
âSo, he does raise his voice!â Bahf grinned, strangely pleased with the answer. âIt would be peculiar if he hadnât.â She paused, a perplexed look settling on her face. âOr perhaps itâs peculiar that he does at all for you lot. After all, you arenât exactly Welfanites.â There was an exchange of uncertain glances between Lilip and Simon, but no word was uttered when the turbolift opened up. The three of them walked down toward the workspace and soon entered.
âŠ
Lilip had to bury the almost nauseating feeling down into their stomach. It was like the station on Terys Beta all over again, only they were the one studying her. The only thing about it that made it any easier was the fact that Bahf was⊠mostly compliant. Anything else, and they were unsure if they would have been able to do any of this.
Sitting up on the examination table, Bahf impatiently scowled. âAre you done yet?â She grumbled for the umpteenth, twitching and pulling away whenever the scanner of the tricorder was waved too close. âAlmost,â Lilip assured her. They were almost as miffed about this as she was but solely because Bahf was almost constantly moving and fidgeting, thus making scansâor really, anythingâdifficult and near meaningless. âIf you could sit still, please?â They gave an award-winning smile combined with big, rounded eyes that could surely convince even the coldest of hearts.
Bahf scrunched her nose at them in distaste, but she couldnât fully stifle her grin. âFine,â she muttered and crossed her arms, turning her gaze elsewhere in bitter relentment. âI supposeâŠâ
âThank you!â
âUh-huh,â she grumbled while her tail twisted around her lower leg.
âLilip?â
Pausing in their scans, Lilip twirled around toward Simon, tail accidentally hitting the side of the examination table in the process. âYes?â
Hesitating from one of the stationed panels, Simon looked from them to Bahf to them again. âCould you come over here quickly?â Glancing down again, his hands remained stagnant on the screen. âThereâs something here I think you should look at.â
Lilip furrowed their brows but came over to him swiftly, walking around one of the desks and to the other side where the panel was located just out of Bahfâs sight. âWhatâs the matter?â They tilted their head at the screen. He nervously looked over his shoulder toward Bahf again, met her suspicious gaze, and quickly tore apart their eye contact. The glistening of sweat formed upon his forehead. âThereâs something off about her biometric data,â Simon explained in a low voice to them. âItâs as if it keeps fluctuating every other scan.â
âWell, itâs not exactly easy to scan her,â answered Lilip. Although they could not understand why Simon was so nervous, they respectfully mimicked his concern and kept their tone quiet. âSheâs a bit fidgety.â
âItâs not simply the scans. Even the blood drawn earlier does not match up with any of the gathered data at all.â There was another quick glance over his shoulder. âThere is something very, very wrong here, LilipâŠâ
Shock struck their face. âThat doesnât make any sense!â Their whisper may as well have been shouted across the room. When Simon gestured to keep their voice down, they quickly corrected themself. âThat doesnât make any sense. How is this happening?â
âI am not entirely certain, but take a look at this.â He pointed at the screen before him. âSee how Bahfâs pulse rate is rather high right now? It was like this in the initial scans: 242 bpm. Combined with how dilated her blood vessels are, I thought it mightâve been a sign ofâpossiblyâsome sort of Vulcanoid. She does not physically resemble them perfectly, considering her ears arenât exactly pointed, but her blood does have signs of copper in it; not to negate the fact her tail somewhat resembles that of a Romulan oneâŠ
âBut I digress,â Simon continued. âMy point was that I initially believed that this proved the chances of Vulcanoid lifeforms out in the Gamma Quadrant. Howeverââ Finger swiping across the screen, he flew through past data points before pausing on a past scan. âHere, her heart rate was incredibly low and went down to only 40 bpm. Although nothing physically appeared to change, all the other vitals changed as well. Lowered respiration, increased body temperature, increased blood circulation, high brain activityââ
âIt seems like all these vitals show high brain activity,â Lilip interrupted, encased in thought. âIt looks like the only thing that stays stagnant.â
âI was about to point that out,â Simon murmured beneath his breath.
âMay I?â They looked up to him and reached a finger out to the screen. When he nodded, Lilip swiped their finger across the panel, looking at the various vitals taken. Their theory seemed correct about brain activity. It was odd, they supposed, but at least it meant there was nothing wrong with her brain.
âŠHopefully.
If anything, the brain activity was unnaturally high.
âIs something wrong over there?â Bahf eventually called, her tone bored laced with mild suspicion. âYou donât seriously expect me to sit here and wait while I watch you two whisper among yourselves like you could actually hide the fact youâre clearly talking about me, do you? Surely, a Romulan and aâan âunknown alienâ would be better secret keepers than this.â There was a touch of vague amusement at the latter half of that statement.
ââA Romulanâ?â Lilip echoed, turning to her. âSimonâs not a Romulan. Heâs a quarter-Vulcan.â What is she getting at by the way she said âunknown alien?â
UnlessâŠ
Eyes squinting, Simon knitted his brows. âI assure you I am not any bit Romulan.â
An amused grin pulled at Bahfâs lips, showing sharp teeth beneath. âI misunderstood.â The tip of her tufted tail raised in a Welfanite sign of peace. âI hope you can forgive me. I am still learning of the different species here.â
âItâs okay,â Lilip assured her. How is she aware of the Romulans? A sense of suspicion ran through them. Surely, it was a vain feeling, though? Bahf may have just overheard someone mention them and misunderstood. Or perhaps she had contacted another ship before them that had a Romulan onboard and confused them for Simonâs Vulcan features.
Out of the corner of their eye, they noticed Simonâs blatant discomfort beside them. He was stiffly frozen in place, petrified, and he stared at Bahf as if he were a child caught in a lie. His hands seemed to shake.
âAre you okay?â
âI am fine,â Simon insisted, although his face told otherwise. Only when Lilip tried to reach out comfortingly did he seem to snap out of it, pulling away from her. âAll is well. I am perfectly fine.â
They tilted their head at him. âYou sure?â
âQuite so.â
Lilip watched as he turned back around the console and returned to logging results, but his face appeared ever distracted. Looking back to Bahf, however, revealed something oddly similar. With eyes focused elsewhere, she slowly scratched at the olive-colored hairs that grew along the side of her face. Her expression lacked the same, deep-rooted concern Simon held, but there was still some thought in the expression.
But what is she thinking of? The mistake she had just made, the outcomes of it?Â
Or⊠something else, like her people and what led her here? The latter thought made their heart sink a little. Without much understanding of Welfanites or their culture, Lilip could hardly imagine what had led her here, so far out from the Gamma Quadrant and from her homeworld.
âHey, Simon?â They said softly.
âYes?â
âHow about we take a break for a while? We can come back to this later.â
Simon hummed in consideration. âThat may be an ideal course of actionâŠâ He paused. âI wish to send the biometric data to Dr. Crusher and see what she thinks of it. I may also see if engineering has any thoughts. Perhaps thereâs something wrong with the equipment in this workspace, or thereâs an outside factor Iâm not thinking of. You go on ahead and take Bahf with you.â
âYou donât want to come with us?â Lilip sounded a bit more hurt than they would have liked and winced.
Hearing them, Simon halted in his work before hanging his head. âI desire to continue working on this,â he answered as evenly as possible, although his voice gave way to a hint of nervousness. âI sense there is some sort of⊠breakthrough of some kind up ahead. I only require more time.â
âAlright, I understand.â Their tail nearly dragged across the ground as they approached Bahf. It was evident something was wrong with Simon, more than he wanted to show, but Lilip could not help but wish he were just a bit more willing to let it go for now. They were just as concerned about the matter as he wasâafter all, weird vitals werenât exactly a good sign, yet Bahf here seemed fine otherwise. It could easily be summed up to Welfanite physiologyâŠ
But his concern seems to be more than just the vitals. He seems to be upset about Bahfâ
âA break, I hear?â Bahf grinned eagerly before Lilip could even open their mouth. âI could go for a break. Beats sitting around.â Hooves clacked against the metal ground as she leapt to her feet. She nearly lost her balance and slipped in the process. Quickly, Bahf grabbed the examination table for support and gritted her teeth, hissing beneath her breath.
Lilip tensed. âAre you okay?â They gasped and offered a hand for assistance. âNo, no. I am well. Your floors are⊠slippier than I imagined,â she replied coolly, slowly situating herself again. There was still a certain stiff hesitation in her movements while Bahf readjusted herself. Eventually, she let go of the table. Despite it all, a smile once more formed upon her features like nothing had happened, and she clasped her hands. âWhat do you have in mind?â
âI was thinking the holodeck might be fun.â Lilip returned the expression, but they could not help but wonder if the holodecks would be too much for her. How will that affect her vitals?
Her eyes eventually narrowed at the word. ââHolo⊠deck?ââ Bahf echoed with uncertainty.
âŠ
The holograms that encompassed Lilip and Bahf came in the form of a late, twentieth-century suburban neighborhood. Surrounding them was a picket fence in the backyard of a Terran house. In the back of it stood a few instruments atop a wooden platform as a makeshift stage.
The program still had a few problems that needed to be worked out, but Lilip felt confident in their choice. It wasnât too overstimulating nor something that could cause overexertionâalthough Bahf had not shown any signs of being in any kind of pain, other than the odd vitalsâ, so it should be safer for her. They just hoped the holodeck wouldnât trap them in here and malfunction again, like it had in the past when they were with Riker and Troi. The last thing they wanted was for Bahf to have a bad impression for her first time in one.
âTheyâre able to fit all of this within the Enterprise?â Using her hand to block out some of the moonlight, Bahf squinted up at the sky. âHow in the name of all the mountains are you lot able to do that?â
Lilip snickered, admittedly amused at her misunderstanding. âItâs not actually here. Itâs only holograms made to look like it is.â
âItâs all an illusion, thenâŠâ She quietly answered in understanding, her eyes glancing at the instruments. âMy species would find this utterly revolting, but truthfully, I find this absolutely fascinating.â
Surprise crossed their face at that. ââRevolting?â Really?â Their mind lingered back toward the time they had tried to fall asleep in here, and it took everything not to viscerally shudder at the memory of the off-appearance of the Caitian woman. âI mean, I could see why.â
âYou see, Welfanites donât entirely⊠understand the idea behind lying,â Bahf explained vaguely. âItâs not in our blood, so the story goes. Something as this would bring many questions to the government and our tradition. âDo holograms count as a lie? What makes it a lie? What qualifies as a lie?ââ She waved a bored, dismissive hand. âOur philosophers would be bickering for hours.â
âYouâre saying your species doesnât lie, then? At all?â Lilipâs eyes went wide.
âEven the whitest of lies would lead to exilement,â Bahf grumbled, but it was soon swallowed back with a more pleasant expression. âBut, who cares what Welfanite tradition thinks? I get to stay on a lovely ship with some of the most interesting individuals.â
They returned the expression, but her grumblings of exilement did cause a twinge of curiosity to run through them. So, Bahf was exiled due to lying about something⊠What was it? As much as Lilip would love to ask, it wasnât the time.
âThis isnât where you grew up, is it?â She commented idly while eyeing the trees overhead. Crossing her arms, she buried her hands into the sleeves of her silk coat, as if chilled by the night wind.
âNo, it isnâtâŠâ Lilip responded slowly, their magenta face turning a shade darker. âBut itâs just a little program Iâm working on. Itâs not done yet, but I think youâll like it! Thereâs some chairs somewhereâŠâ They looked around momentarily, searching for them.
They noticed how the insects and frogs suddenly went silent. The lack of their song was deafening in the otherwise peaceful air. That was odd. Nothing should have scared them⊠Lilip could only sum it up to the program malfunctioning. Already.
They smothered a frown.
Seeming to notice, Bahf cast a glance out past the fence but otherwise said nothing on the matter. âDonât worry yourself. I can stand fine enough as it is,â she answered their earlier offer. Approaching the folding table that was set near the side gate, she picked up a pitcher of dyed, artificially flavored water.Â
Immediately, she cringed and recoiled at its smell and set it back down before it could spill. âYou drink this?â Her teeth were still bared in a distraught, almost distrusting look with her tail lashing behind her. âYou jest! I know you lot drink poison on purpose, but this is an outrage! Surely, this could kill at least a whole planet.â
âWhat? No, itâs not poison!â Lilip was equally as unsettled as she was and held out their hands in a sign of peace. âAs far as I know, just about anyone on the Enterprise can drink it. Itâs only a sugary drink⊠that might be slightly spikedâŠâ They winced at their own words. Not a good time for that!
There was an undeniable intensity in the air, even when Bahf relaxed enough to crane her neck to glare at the pitcher with suspicion. âEven worse,â she hissed. âThe poison is poisoned.â
âItâs not poison in itselfââ
âPoison or not, that stuff is vile.â Bahf could not bear to look at it any longer. âWhat is the point in this? Please donât say youâve brought me here simply to make a mockery of my people, even if I am the one in exile from them.â ââMockery ofâ?â Bahf, I never meant that!â Lilip tried to reassure her, among their own bafflement. âI can remove it from the program or replace it with something else, if youâd like.â Worry rose within them, and it took everything not to respond in a nervous manner. The last thing they wanted at the moment was to upset her further.
âOh, keep it. It doesnât matter enough,â Bahf huffed dejectedly and crossed her arms behind her. âYou know nothing of my own, as you know nothing of your own.â Walking around her and toward the stage, her tail dragged along the grass, pushing past drying and dead leaves.
âAs you know nothing ofâŠââ Wait.
âYou know something, donât you?â Lilip blurted before they could think through their words. âAbout my people?â Hesitation welled within them as they began to fidget with their hands, and they added, âYou⊠implied earlierâŠâ
A coy smile twitched at Bahfâs lips; it was a sudden and stark contrast from the miserable figure just a second prior. âMaybe I do. Maybe I donât. The Gamma Quadrant is quite a large place, and I havenât explored all of it. But Iâm wasting your time and boring you to death, arenât I? Iâm afraid my species is known for that.âÂ
Before Lilip could get a word in, Bahf gestured to the stage. âWell, do you play?â She asked in a lighter voice.
âYeah⊠Yes, I do,â Lilip stammered out. Their mind was still reeling from the small bite of information. Bahf knew something, but what that was, and how much she knew⊠It could be the very difference between finally understanding what they were or wasting another who-knows-how-many-years in waiting. âA simple solution then!â Smiling, Bahf clasped her hands together with a small clap! âA trade, if you will. You see, Iâm interested in these instruments you have. My species has none like it, and I wish to hear what they sound like. In turn, I may be able to provide a little bit of information.â
â...Okay, right!â It dawned on Lilip why they had brought her here again. âI can do that! But the program isnât fully complete yet, just so you know, so maybe donât be too criticalâŠâÂ
Leaping onto the stage, they grabbed the microphone and leaned into it. âWhereâs the band?!â Lilip shouted into it. Feedback whined in response, and they smothered a flinch. However, their audience member visibly cringed and tensed at the noise, her tail coiling in the grass.
âThere is No Band!â Shouted three voices from all around, causing Bahf to frantically twist her head about to find the source.
âI saidâŠâ They repeated with growing bravado, âwhereâs the fucking band?!â
âThere is No Band!â
Instantly, the area fell into darkness. No more than a few moments later, Lilip and three Humans of nondescript appearance were illuminated on stage, each attending their respective instrument. The song started somewhat slow before soon picking up with the guitar.Â
Lilip leaned into the microphone again, as they started to sing,
âI was happy in the haze of a drunken hour,
âBut Heaven knows Iâm miserable now.
âI was looking for a job, and then I found a job,
âAnd Heaven knows Iâm miserable now.
âIn my life, why do I give valuable time
âTo people who donât care if I live or die?â
Resting her chin upon her propped up hand, Bahf appeared to initially show little interest in the song. However, her tail flicked in the beat of the drums. Just that little bit of enjoyment encouraged Lilip onward:
âTwo lovers entwined pass me by,
âAnd Heaven knows Iâm miserable now.
âI was looking for a job, and then I found a job,
âAnd Heaven knows Iâm miserable now.
âIn my life, oh, why do I give valuable time
âTo people who donât care if I live or die?â
The bassist suddenly froze in place, although the sound of the bass could still be heard. Lilip fumbled the chords when they noticed, but still, they continued,
âWhat she asked of me at the end of the day,
âCaligula would have blushed.
ââOh, youâve been in the house too long,â she said,
âAnd I naturally fled.
âIn my life, why do I smile
âAt people who Iâd much rather kick in the eye?â
Then the drummer entirely disappeared, along with the drums themselves. Twirling around on their foot, Lilip looked to see if the electric guitarist was still there at the very least, only to find the Human replaced by a livid ichkhari with bared fangs.
Yelping, Lilip quickly tossed the guitar in its direction, and it hit the armored creature squarely in the face. It was enough of a distraction for them to leap off from the stage and manage a little distance from the creature.
âThatâs not supposed to happen!â They shakily whispered to Bahf, who could only stand and stare.
Furiously, the ichkhari tore its serrated claws into the instrument, ripping the strings apart almost instantly. The wood splintered beneath its heavy paws, and the neck broke from the body the second it bore its teeth into it. Lilipâs heart broke at the sight of the crushed guitar when the creature was finished making a mess of it.
Tail lashing behind it, the ichkhari then turned its vile face toward them in a wild glare. Although hailing from the âtcharian homeworld, it appeared like that of a Terran lion. Only this animal lacked the light pelt or long mane, and instead was covered in keratin plating resembling scales that could take what would feel like lifetimes to break through to kill it.
âCanât you get rid of it?â Bahf hissed through her teeth. Petrified, Lilip was too frightened to respond.
It fell into a crouch, and its ears pinned back at Bahfâs speech. The change was enough to cause Bahf to take an unsteady step back in uncertainty.
Suddenly, it lunged from the stage and pinned Bahf to the ground. She screeched and writhed beneath it, tail flailing wildly. Her claws uselessly scratched at the beastâs armor while it tried to bury its own teeth into her throat.
âComputer! End program!â Lilip called out frantically as they rushed over.
Instantly, the ichkhari, along with the once peaceful scenery, disappeared. Once again on the Enterprise, they instead stood in a room with vibrant, yellow lines that treaded along the ebony-colored walls like graphs. The dull humming of the ship soon became apparent once more.
Hissing audibly, Bahf curled up on the floor. She covered her face with her arms and moved her knees to her chest. Lilip could hear her muttering something beneath her breath, but it was entirely inaudible to them. Nonetheless, it only drew out worry from them for her.
Were the safety protocols not in place? Kneeling next to her and resting a hand on her shoulder, Lilip asked, âAre you okay?ââÂ
âAgh!â She yelped and seemed to convulse and flail on the ground at the mere touch.Â
Narrowly missing being hit by her tail, Lilip was forced to stand and stared at Bahf with wide eyes. âItâs okay! Itâs me!â They tried to calm her, but she gave no response or sign that she even heard. Eventually, Bahf came still, but her gaze was entirely distant, and she shivered.
Not good. Not good at all.
As concerned as they were, they couldnât see any blatant wounds or any other obvious sign she was injured. Still, however, their uneasy worry for Bahf lingered. After all, as far as theyâve seen, this wasnât a normal response to the holodeck.
Although the ichkhari appearing wasnât normal either, Lilip realized. âŠand neither were Bahfâs vitals. Their stomach twisted at the thought.
âIâll be right back, okay? Just, stay here!â It came out a bit more anxious than they would have liked, but it was all they could muster in that moment. Swiftly, they rushed outside of the holodeck and into the hallway. They couldnât spot it at first glance, but they speedily came to the computer terminal.
âLilip to Sickbay.â They paused, impatiently waiting for a response.
âCrusher here.â
How was Lilip to even explain this? âThereâs a⊠Thereâs a medical emergency on Holodeck 3!â They shouted through the terminal. It was the fastest thing they could think of, even if it wasnât descriptive at all.
âIâll be right over.â
A sigh escaped Lilip that they hadnât realized they had been holding. It was not quite relief, but there was a little bit of peace in knowing Dr. Crusher was on her way.
Sheâll be here soon⊠before anything worse happens.
âŠI hope.
âŠ
When Dr. Crusher arrived, she immediately recognized the figure on the floor as the one Simon had spoken of with her moments earlier in regards to Bahfâs vitals, and an uneasy look settled on her features. âHello there, Bahf. Iâm Dr. Crusher,â she greeted as calmly as she could manage in a somewhat maternal manner. Taking out her medical tricorder, she knelt down next to her. âIâm just going to do a few quick scans, and then weâll get this figured out, alright?â
Bahf gave no sign of acknowledgementâa discomforting sign in itself.
âI wouldnât suggest sitting there,â Lilip advised, watching a fair few feet away. âI set my hand on her shoulder, and she nearly hit me.â
ââHit you?ââ Dr. Crusher echoed back in surprise.
âI was trying to comfort her, and she had some sort of full-body spasmâŠâ They trailed off, shuddering.
Dr. Crusher stared at Bahfâs curled up body for a moment, processing this new information with a growing distraught look. âThat could be from any number of problemsâŠâ She murmured before raising her voice to normal levels, âWhat happened before she ended up like this?â
âWe were in a program I was still working on based on a suburban neighborhood,â they explained swiftly. Their tail twitched as they recalled the event. âI was playing a song for her, but this ichkhari suddenly appeared and tried to attack her.â
âAnd I can assume thatâs not supposed to happen?â
Pocketing their hands to keep themself from fidgeting, Lilip shook their head. I knew I shouldnât have brought her hereâŠ
Dr. Crusher frowned, looking at the tricorder. âThese readings arenât any different from the ones Simon showed me, but I need the equipment from Sickbay to get a better look.âÂ
âIs she going to be okay?â Lilip asked quietly. It was a question they didnât really want to ask.
There was a pause. âWeâll have to wait and see,â Dr. Crusher answered, âbut I would like to think so.â Setting the tricorder back, she stood back up and tapped her combadge. âCrusher to Sickbay. Three for emergency transport.â Streaks of light formed about them, and before Lilip knew it, they were rematerialized in the Enterpriseâs Sickbay.
Bahf was already laid out on the biobed. The sudden transport alone seemed to rouse her out of her previous state. Twisting her head this way and that at the various medical staff that tended their stations, she angrily hissed, âWhat is this? What have you lot done to me?â
âYou were unresponsive on the holodeck floor,â Dr. Crusher explained while looking over vitals. Although she remained collected, she couldnât conceal the look of surprise in seeing Bahf come-to so quickly without any intervention other than beaming her over here. âThere was no other choice but to bring you here to Sickbay.â
ââChoice!ââ Bahf loudly scoffed and turned her head away from Dr. Crusher, eyes landing on Lilip. âHow I wish I had such luxuries.âÂ
Taking out her tricorder, Dr. Crusher began to scan the Welfaniteâs head. âIâm sorry, but we had to transport you here. I couldnât leave you there without any sort of help,â she replied. Her brows furrowed at the results before walking off to speak with one of the nurses.
With Dr. Crusher gone, Bahf went on, unprompted, âI was forced into this, you know. Coming here wasnât my choice.â
âAbout coming to Sickbay?â
âNo, here. The Enterprise,â she answered sharply. A feeling of sympathy washed over Lilip at hearing that. âI could understand that. I didnât get much of a choice in coming here either.â
Bahfâs eyes lit up, and there was an emotion that followed that they couldnât quite pinpoint. Anger? Shock? Anxiety? Whatever it was, it soon was swallowed up and replaced with a similarly sympathetic expression. âWhat happened?â
They tensed at the sound. It was a question they should have expected, but even when they knew it was coming, it wasnât one they fully enjoyed answering. Pausing to gather themself, they answered briskly as to move on from the topic, âThe station on Terys Beta, my home moon, was crushed from an expulsion of atmosphere coming from the planet it orbited. I was the only survivor.â
Humming came from Bahf in thought, a pause while she processed the information. She leaned her head back in rest, although there were signs of mild irritation at Dr. Crusher for the current situation still.Â
âIâm sure youâve put together I was exiled by my own, based on my earlier statement,â she eventually answered, tilting her head toward Lilip. âI lied about something menial. A horrid thing, I know, but I had done it to save my own skin.â She didnât look the slightest bit proud of herself at that statement, but it was plain she was prompting them to ask.
âWhat did you lie about?â Lilip gave an inquisitive look. âMenial?â I know theyâre not supposed to lie and donât understand the need for it, but how small could it have been for something as big as exile?
Bahf glanced around to see if anyone was listening and leaning in as best she could, she whispered, âI said I had no favorite color; when in reality, I did, I just didnât have the time to explain the exact shade of green.â
Two emotions hit Lilip at once at that confession: The first of which was amusement they had to conceal at the mere idea of that being the whole reason for Bahfâs exile, while the other was bafflement at the concept of that being the cause for exile. Although they understood why that was the reason, they still couldnât wrap their brain around the whole idea.
There was only one question they could ask then: âWhat is your favorite color?â
She paused, thinking of how to explain it. âWhen the sun sets and hits the horizon, depending on a multitude of factorsâsuch as how high you are from sea level or the weather that dayâthereâs a chance for a green flash of light to occur. That green is my favorite color. What about you?â
âPurple, but I like just about any shade. No only-when-this-phenomenon-occurs needed,â Lilip joked lightly.
That, by some miracle, made Bahf laugh as well, but it wasnât simply a mere snicker. She barked a laugh like it was the funniest thing sheâd heard in lifetimes, and she hit the surface of the biobed with her fist, causing a loud clatter. âYou jest! You jest!â She wheezed out among her chortling.
They were, admittedly, a little startled by how amused Bahf was by such a small joke, but Lilip couldnât help but laugh with her. How different this was than the odd alien that arrived only the night before! It was a different side to her, but it was one they could easily grow used to.
âI know you two are having fun, but please donât hit the biobed,â Dr. Crusher requested, returning with a PADD. There was a face of growing concern that cracked through beneath her more composed expression. âIt messes up the vitals.â Tail flicking, Bahf snorted bitterly but stopped accordingly.
âLilipâŠâ Dr. Crusher hesitated. âI think Bahf may need to stay overnight for observations. These vitals match the ones Simon Tarses provided and havenât evened out in the slightest.â Seeing Bahfâs expression, she did not pause and urgently continued, âSince the captain assigned you and Simon to gather data surrounding Bahfâs biology, you can stay here if youâd like to help, but I believe my medical staff can assist just fine.â
Any humor drained from both Bahfâs and Lilipâs faces, and although they opened their mouth to speak, it was Bahf who was first to argue.
âYou canât keep me here! I wonât allow for it!â Bahf snarled and writhed from beneath the vital sign display. Her tail nearly hit a nurse passing by while she attempted to squirm her way out. Several officers twisted their heads toward the sudden scene. âI donât need to be here! This goes against all my principles!â
âHey! Hey! Itâs okay!â The fur of Lilipâs tail bristled in startlement while they tried to calm her, raising their hands in vain peace.
âNo, no, no, no, no!â Shouted Bahf insistently.
Swiftly preparing a hypospray, Dr. Crusher called out, âTen ccs of kayolane.â In the time it took for her to prepare it, however, Bahf managed to free her hands and swat the hypospray out of Dr. Crusherâs. âBahf!â
âBahf, itâs okay!â They tried to offer comfort by taking her hand into theirs. âSheâs just trying toââ However, the mere touch instantly worsened the situation.
Before Lilip knew it, sharp teeth sank into her hand.
Hard.
The scream that followed was enough for multiple officers to immediately contact security.
Although she quickly let go at the sound, Bahf had undeniably drawn blood, and the purple stood out sorely against her speciesâ naturally green complexion.Â
Agonizingly, Lilip stared stiffly at their hand and turned their palm shakily toward them. The color oozed out agonizingly slow on both sides of their hand and dared to trickle down their arm and stain their sleeves. They could count up to eight puncture wounds on their palm alone, and it felt like⊠like⊠They couldnât look too closely. Their stomach twisted into knots.
What followed after was a blur of movement as a rush of hands came over to tend to the wound. One set dabbed the residual blood, another came with a tricorder and said something about a fracture, a third came with a osteogenic stimulator for the bones to heal, and a final pair came to take a dermal regenerator to their skin to heal the otherwise apparent marks left behindâŠ
They suddenly found themself sat up on one of the biobeds. It only occurred to Lilip now when they could focus again that Dr. Crusher was saying something to them. Her face was wrapped up in worry and concern, as if afraid.
â...going to be alright. Bahf is gone. Your hand is going to be alright. Youâre going to be alright.â Her voice was soft and gentle, despite the trepidations on her face. Lilip felt her hands against their face before realizing how damp their face was. Although it was clearing up now, their vision was still cloudy with tears they were formerly unaware of.
âBahf⊠Sheâs gone?â
âŠ
Lilipâs Personal Log. Stardate 43704.6.
According to Dr. Crusher, Worf and other security personnel came quickly after Bahfâs âoutburstâ yesterday to take her and confine her to her quarters. Simon, who had also witnessed it, added that she went shouting and yelling about how this whole thing âwasnât fairâ and that she hadnât done anything wrong. Dr. Crusher is now sending someone every hour to check on her and take vitals, since sheâs still concerned about her health. I offered to help, but she said she didnât want to risk me getting bitten⊠again.
I⊠forgive Bahf already. It was so quick, and the staff in Sickbay already fixed up my hand. It was like it never happened in the first place.
She was obviously upset about the fact she was being kept in the Sickbay. Her reaction is probably normal in her culture. I mean, they yell at each other when someone does something wrong, right? Whatâs so different about biting when upset?
I just wish thatâŠ
Their voice couldnât form the right words to express their emotions, and they instead cut it short. âComputer, end log.â
Leaning their head back against their couch, Lilip sighed and stared at the ceiling of their quarters with melancholy. Despite what they were telling themself, it didnât feel anymore comforting. The two of them had been laughing together just moments prior over a joke they had made, but then Bahf hadâŠ
Lilip gently squeezed Tangoâs paw to reground themself before their thoughts could develop into a whirlwind of emotion. Falling asleep last night wouldâve been fruitless without the plush ferretâs comforting breathing. Beneath their own breath they silently thanked Lt. Clancy for being so generous in gifting him to them.
They had brought out the plush ferret with them into the living room to try and help cope. As tempting as lying in bed the entire day was, Lilip wanted to at least be able to monitor anything new on Bahf through the various logs. Maybe somewhere in this PADD there was someone talking about her and how she felt aboutâ
The chime disturbed their thoughts, and Lilip twisted their head to the door, sitting up. âCome in.â
âLilip?â Craning her neck, Counselor Troi peered in and entered upon sighting them. Her face, although solemn, typically held a distinct open and welcoming look about it. However, this time, there was the faint expression of reflected anguish. It only made Lilip wonder if that was how pathetic they looked at the moment, and they had to smother a cringe at the thought.Â
Troiâs expression seemed to worsen at thatâa sore reminder of her empathetic abilities. âAre you feeling alright?â
âMy handâs fine,â they answered and held it up and turned it back and forth as if to show there were no wounds or marks. âAlthough, it aches a little, but I think thatâs just phantom pain.â
Her eyelids drooped a fraction. âThatâs not what I meant.â
There was a pause before Lilip shuffled over on their couch, making room for Troi to sit.
âI was worried when I didnât see you on the bridge this morning,â she started. When Lilip moved to stand at the sudden reminder, she swiftly went on, âCaptain Picard said that you donât need to worry about it since it wouldâve only been a report in regards to Bahf, and now that Dr. Crusher is looking over her, thereâs no need for it.â
Lilip wished they could sink into the couch. How could they have forgotten? â...So you heard what happened?â
âDr. Crusher informed me,â Troi answered gently. âShe said you didnât seem wholly yourself after Bahf had bitten you.â
Looking away, they hummed at the memory. âI donât really remember what happened after very well,â Lilip admitted quietly while frowning. It was a little embarrassing to say aloud. When did their voice start to sound so foreign to them? âI only really remember that Dr. Crusher was saying everything would be okay, and it isâŠâ
âYou donât sound very convinced,â she commented.
Startled, Lilip turned to her. They werenât surprised by the answer itself, but it felt forbidden to hear it spoken aloud. âBut it is okay,â they insisted, almost irritated to be told otherwise. âThereâs nothing wrong about it.â
Crossing her legs, Troi paused as if in contemplation. âI met Bahf briefly when she first arrived on the Enterprise. Even before that, the captain had spoken with her over subspace. I already sensed there was something odd about her, but when OâBrien beamed her over, it was only all the more strange: I couldnât read her emotions at all.â
Temporarily forgetting their struggles, Lilip perked up at that. âOnly Ferengi and certain species related to them have telepathic immunityâŠâ They went silent as they thought for a moment. âAnd the Welfanites couldnât possibly be related to them, since their homeworld is all the way out in the Gamma Quadrant⊠unless somehow the Ferengi, or another related species, had the sort of technology to get out there who-knows-how-long-ago.â
A light, happy look crept upon Troiâs face, pleased to see Lilip cheered up, at least for the time being. âAre you suggesting the Welfanites are to Ferengi as Romulans are to Vulcans?â
âIt wouldnât be the same sort of relationship, but⊠maybe. But it doesnât make any sense at all or explain much of anything other than the fact Bahfâs mind canât be read.â Simon had theorized Welfanites might be Vulcanoids, but with this new information⊠They shook their head, as if dispersing the thought. Theyâd have to look into that another time. âWhat were you trying to say before about Bahf?â
âI was saying that Bahf appears to be a strange character,â Troi said in a more serious tone. âOne moment sheâll be delighted about something, the next sheâll act as if itâs a horrible thing and that we should all be panicked about it.â
âShe seemed pretty confident on not wanting to be in the Infirmary,â Lilip mumbled with half-bitterness while leaning back into the couch dejectedly. What could I have done differently? Maybe I just shouldâve helped Dr. Crusher get that hypospray or backed off from Bahf the second she started acting outâŠ
âItâs not your fault, Lilip,â she responded, as if reading their mind. âThere was no way of knowing how Bahf wouldâve reacted.â
They nodded agreeingly, but they couldnât shake the feeling. Truthfully, how were they supposed to know how Bahf would react? Yes, she had reacted strangely prior upon the mere touch of her arm, but that was while she was still in that odd state of limbo between conscious and unconscious. Surely, then, theyâd thought itâd be fine. Now, perhaps it really was just some strange quirk of Bahfâs.
ButâŠ
âHow was Bahf supposed to know?â Lilip murmured, brows furrowed.
Troi blinked. âWhat do you mean?â
âHow was Bahf supposed to know sheâd be restricted to her quarters?â Somewhere during their thoughts, their gaze had ended up lingering on the floor, but those violet eyes quickly snapped to Troiâs ebony eyes. âSheâs not from here. She doesnât know the Enterpriseâs rules.â I shouldâve told her!
âThat would be correctâŠâ Although Troi sounded like she had more to say, she cut the sentence off prematurely, letting Lilip go on. Setting Tango aside, they stood up with sudden resolution. Their tail twitched with renewed vigor. âSomeone has to talk to Bahf. Itâs not fair to her. She had no idea!â
Troiâs eyes went wide, almost startled. âWell, Lilip⊠Iâm not sure if thatâs entirely a good idea. Bahf is currently confined to her quarters and has nurses taking care of her. From what Iâve heard, it sounds like she may not want more visitors.â
âBut Iâm not going in order to bother her with questions and take vitals and the like. Iâm going in order to help her. Sheâs probably sitting there, wondering the same things I am!â
Slowly standing, she appeared to hold trepidations. âI think your heart is in the right place, Lilip, but I donât believe it to be a good time quite yet. You should give it some time to think it over and then make your decision. Bahf may need space right now, and it may cause her distress if more people come to visit her.â
That is a good point⊠Their shoulders slumped and tail drooped a fraction.
âI donât mean to disappoint you,â Troi added as she made her way over to the door. âI think itâs a wonderful idea, but I also think you should give Bahf a little time. See if she contacts you at all, or at least wait to see if thereâs been any updates from Sickbay.â
âIâll make sure of it,â they assured her.
âIâll see you around, Lilip. Make sure to contact me if you need anything, alright?â She smiled softly at them.
âI will, thank you.â They returned the expression and watched as she left.
So now we waitâŠ
âŠ
By 1830 hours, Lilip had found a log from Nurse Ogawa that Bahfâs vitals had been stable by now. It may not have been the kind of update Troi meant as a sign for it being fine for them to visit her, but it still was a good update, right? Plus, it was relatively close to dinner time, after all, so surely she wouldnât want to eat alone?
Heading over, they were easily able to locate her quarters. Dataâs logs from the night of her arrival were more than helpful in that department. It was only a matter of getting inside that might be an issueâŠ
Peering around the corner, Lilip recognized the security personnel stationed at the door to Bahfâs quarters. It was the same one from the time that Romulan defector had come aboard the Enterprise. They stifled a shudder at the memory and carried on. Surely, if they let them in once, theyâd let them in again.
The officer gave a sideways glance as they approached. Soon realizing who this was, they sighed, exasperated. âYou again?â
âUhm, maybe?â Lilip tried to pitch a charming, convincing smile.
Brows furrowed, the officer shifted their weight from foot to foot in thought. Eventually, they asked, âIâm assuming youâre looking for the Welfanite?â Before Lilip could respond, they huffed. âI hate to break it to you, but I canât just let anyone in there, yâknow. I heard she bit someone, and it canât happen again.â
Their heart sank at that. âItâll be quick! I wonât take long, I promise!â They insisted pleadingly and clasped their hands together. âYou said to just ask last time.â
âI did, didnât IâŠ?â They muttered to themself. Hesitating, they looked down either end of the hall and paused. âAlright, well, I canât let you in, anyhow,â the officer said just a bit too loudly while moving away from the door. âYouâre not supposed to be in there.â They discreetly made a gesture for Lilip to enter, eager to get them out of their hair.
Suddenly understanding what was happening, Lilip raised their voice to add to the scene with the best mock-bitter impression they could manage, âOkay! Fine! Iâll just go back to my quarters then! Never to be seen again!â Hastily, they went inside.
Thank you, security officer! They thought, relieved.
The light from the hallway was quickly hidden when the door hissed shut behind them. Bahfâs quarters were unfathomably dark. The only light source came from the dimly lit buttons of the replicator, hardly illuminating much more than the vague silhouette of⊠something that wasnât Bahf. It was far smaller and seemed to float.
â...Bahf?â Lilip whispered, their muscles tensing in fear.
âComputer. Lights,â she ordered. For a fraction of a moment, the lights came on far too bright, or maybe it simply was their eyes needing time to adjust from the prior darkness. Sitting idly on the edge of one of the lounge chairs, Bahf appeared as normal. If anything, she looked just as startled as they did. âWhat are you doing here? Arenât you not allowed here?â âWell, I was just thinking you might want to have dinner,â Lilip replied cautiously as they entered further into her quarters. They still werenât quite over whatever it was they saw. Of course, it couldâve simply been their eyes playing tricks on them, butâŠ
âHa, ha, very funny,â Bahf scoffed dryly. âI donât eat, so you can save yourself the trouble.â She stood up, seemed to overestimate her own height, and hastily threw her arms out to balance herself again. âCurse theseâŠ!â Stomping her hooves, she grumbled something inaudible beneath her breath.
âYou donât eat?!â Lilipâs eyes went wide. Howâs that possible? Could Welfanites photosynthesize? That might possibly explain why Welfanites were green, as it wouldâve been from the chlorophyllâ
âI donâtââ Bahf waved a hand about like trying to wave away that annoying fly that wouldnât just leave. âI do eat. Iâve eaten in the past. I know what eating is like!â She declared defensively. âDo you eat? Have you eaten before?â
What sort of question is that? âOf course I haveââÂ
âGreat! Grand! Weâve both eaten before!â She threw her hands in the air. âSo much empathy happening here!â
Lilip stiffly remained where they stood, idly watching as Bahf began to pace around the small living area of her quarters back and forth like an anxious sehlat. Her hair was bristled, and her tail lashed behind her. They dared not to disturb her in this state, for they feared upsetting her again unless it were to result in them being the source of her anger.
Pausing with her back turned on them, she began, âYou knowâI justâI canâtââ Bahf hissed beneath her breath, trying to find her words. âYou want more than dinner. I can tell. This isnât just reaching out for the sake of âfriendship.ââ She spat out the last word like it was poison to her tongue and looked at them expectantly.
Their bushy eyebrows shot up, and they winced. âWell⊠I wanted to talk about what happened in SickbayâŠâ Lilip trailed off, eyes shifting to the ground. It sounded a bit awkward to say out loud now that they heard themself, but they stuck to it.
âOh, now, youâre making a mockery of me? How caring. Might as well get the entire crew in here too.â
They were surprised at the harshness of her words. âIâm not making a mockery of you. I just want to talkââ âBut would the crew find this at all humorous?â She muttered, gaze distant. âOr would that just be theâŠ?â
âCan we talk about this?â Lilip asked, taking a step toward her.
Staring at an empty wall where a window wouldâve been had this not been interior quarters, Bahf mumbled onward, âSoon this little game must endâŠâ
âBahf? Are you listening to me?â They took another cautious step closer. âCan we please talk about this? You bit my hand. I know you didnât mean it, but can weââ
âWhat are you on about, insect?â She snarled, whirling around to look at them. âWhatâs so important that we must talk through it like civilized beasts with your social fashions and opaque mannerisms? This wouldnât matter in another society!â
Pausing where they stood, Lilip looked at them in shock and confusion. ââSocial fashions and opaque mannerisms?â What is that supposed to mean?â They recoiled just slightly, tail twitching. Where was any of this coming from?
âItâs so obvious! So blatantly obvious!â Bahf snorted and laughed, amused yet still irked. âHow is it none of you understand? Figure it out! Write it out and annotate it for all I care!â She leaned in, causing Lilip to realize how tall she really was. âAm I supposed to spell it out for you?â
âMaybeâŠ?â They murmured, an anxious smile tugging at their lips. Admittedly, Lilip was a little hurt by this, but what was there to say? This was the result of their own actions.
Any amusement drained from her face. There was a long pause before she stood straight again and scoffed. âWhat I am saying is your societal norms are meaningless and your confounding ways of communication are vague and pointless. There, happy?â She explained dryly but threw in a forcefully happy expression.
Gibbering, Lilip struggled to form something coherent. What was there to say in response?
Bahf scoffed. âForget this. What was it you wanted earlier?â âI⊠wanted to apologize about yesterday,â they mumbled, fidgeting with their hands. Their tail curled half-around their leg, anxious about her response. âI shouldnât have tried to stop you. You were upset, and I didnât realizeâŠâ
A moment passed before Bahfâs ears drooped just slightly, her face softening. âOh, come now. Youâre acting as if this is your fault,â she spoke with sudden rationalism. Gracefully, she approached yet stiffly took Lilipâs hands just a bit too tightly. Discomfort flickered across her face at the touch. âTruthfully, Lilip, itâs all my own.â
Admittedly, they stiffened at her gesture. Although they were anything but adverse to touch and affection, Lilip was startled that Bahf would hold their hands. Something about it just didnât sit right with them. âBut itâs not your fault.â Their eyes wouldnât leave their intertwined hands. âYou didnât do anything wrongâŠâ
âAh! But I did! I bit your hand!â There was no remorse in her voice, merely correction for their understanding of the situation. âIs that not wrong here?â
âUhm, yeahâŠâ They stammered out.
âWell, itâs simple then!â Laughing almost hysterically, Bahf threw her hands in the air like her words were of divine province. âI made the choice! and I made the wrong choice!â
Wide-eyed and staring at her, Lilip took a step back. What was happening right now? They almost felt as if they were not meant to be here, as if a certain danger was lurking around the corner. âAre we still talking about you biting my hand?â The question was quiet, and they werenât sure if Bahf even heard them.
âAnd you donât even know!â She declared and tapped Lilip on the nose tauntingly. âIâm speaking only of the reason, and one reason only. The choice I made, the cause of this entire conversation itself!â Leaning in like she was sharing a secret, she went on, âYou must wonder what Iâm on about, right?â
âWellââ âPerfect! Vile, even!â Bahf chortled and turned to the rest of the room as if there were an unseen audience. âThis ship is my mistake! My wonderful, wonderful mistake! My choice, my mistake! You lot are no fun, and I see why you stay here. Really, Lilip, I donât know how you got all the way out here, but you couldnât have chosen a better ship. You could do so much with the Enterprise if you play your cards right. But for me? These people donât even follow the script. Theyâre so lacking in character.â
There were a number of things Lilip wanted to point out with that⊠monologue?, but they were given no moment to speak. A thousand thoughts whirled in their mind, yet nothing was tangible enough for them to grasp onto and speak out before she went on another incoherent tangent.
âLook, letâs play this game a little while longer, shall we?â Bahf offered eagerly. âAnd letâs make it more exciting! Up the antics, double the risk, and go all in! Whatâs the worst thing that could happen, amirite? Iâm already stuck here!â She snapped her fingers, and Lilip practically expected for all hell to break loose.Â
When nothing immediately came, they nearly cursed, âWhat theââ
The wail of the red alert signal went off, and Lilip visibly flinched, the fur of her tail bristling wildly. Had Bahf not gone on that bizarre rant, they likely wouldâve been clinging to her by now. Bahf, however, seemed perfectly content and not at all bothered by the situation.
âPicard to Lilip.â
The captainâs voice over the intercom system almost felt foreign to Lilipâs ears at that moment. âLilip here,â they answered shakily.
âThereâs a situation up here, and I need you on the bridge.â
Hesitating, Lilip looked at Bahf, who was now sitting in one of the chairs idly and watching them. âOn my way, Captain.â
âThank you. Picard out.â
They stood for a moment. They expected her to do or say something, whether in objection to or agreement with Captain Picard, but nothing ever came. She only ever moved her head to watch as Lilip left the room and into the halls of the Enterprise.
âŠ
Turbolifts were typically fast, an easy mode of transport with little effort attached to them, but this particular turbolift ride felt like a century in itself, lifetimes wasted in waiting for it to reach its final destination. Lilip knew it was only in their head, but the memories of Bahfâs baffling behavior wouldnât just leave their thoughts. Troi really was right about her odd actionsâŠ
âThey arenât answering our hails, sir.â
The doors whooshed open, pulling them out of their thoughts. The bridge was tense. Crewmembers were anxiously tending their stations, all waiting on the orders of Captain Picard. They didnât understand what all the hubbub was about until they saw the viewscreen:
Roughly, theyâd say, there were about fifty of those similarly, oddly shaped ships from the day before. They scattered the viewscreen and threatened to block out the stars themselves. Lilip could just barely see the inky darkness of space beyond the brigade. How did they all get out here so fast?
âLilip.â Captain Picard came over with Simon, who nearly looked just as hesitant as everyone else. In all honesty, they were a little surprised to see him here. âDo you have any idea whatâs going on here?â
âUhm, no,â they answered sheepishly but quickly shook off their nervousness. They had to focus here, for Captain Picard! âIâm only a xenobiologist, sir,â Lilip added earnestly. âI donât know very much about ships.â
âIf it means anything,â Simon said, âthese ships almost resemble Bahfâs ship. The text on the side looks similar to the one seen on herâs.â
âYes, thatâs what I was thinking,â Captain Picard replied before focusing on Lilip again. âYou do realize out of the few people that have interacted with her, you have spent far more time with Bahf than anyone else on this ship?â The tone in his voice sounded almost disappointed in them, and their heart sank.
Eager to fix this, they tried to think of something on the spot. âWell, if these are the Welfanites, maybe theyâre here to collect Bahf?â They offered. But how does that make any sense when she was exiled?
âŠso she claims.
Furrowing his brows, Captain Picard hummed and gazed at the screen again. âSo, we could be harboring a criminal now. What gives you that idea?â
âWell, she mentioned being exiled by her people earlier.â âI heard about that from Dr. Crusher,â Captain Picard replied while returning back to his chair at the front of the bridge with Lilip and Simon in tow. âShe said that Bahf mentioned that to you while she was in Sickbay, something about lying about her favorite color. I would say thatâs an odd thing to be exiled over, but if the Welfanites deem it important enough for that to be a just punishment, I suppose thereâs little we can do about it, especially when theyâre so far away in the Gamma Quadrant.â
âDo you think she could be lying about that?â Simon inquired quizzically. âOn the other hand, if she is being truthful about that, why would the Welfanites come here?â âIf those even are the Welfanites,â Riker chipped in from his seat. âThey could just be another species entirely.â
âTwo first contacts within days of each other, and we havenât even sorted out the first one yet,â Captain Picard mused dryly.
âSir, if I may addââ Lilip tried to speak before the turbolift doors opened abruptly.
âMr. Picard! I have had enough!â Bahf shouted across the room. Shoving aside a startled crewman, she stepped out of the turbolift, marched down to the front of the bridge, and pointed a clawed finger at him then the viewscreen. âYou purposefully lured these ships here!â
A moment passed before anything followed. Eventually rising from his seat, Captain Picard evenly looked Bahf in the eye. âBahf, how did you get up here?â
âMagic,â she sardonically scoffed with disinterest. âThese ships are more important!â
âYou know where these ships came from?â
âOf course I know. I know everything there is to know,â she snapped at him and whirled around to the screen, tail nearly hitting them in the process. âHail them!â
There was a low growl from Worf at the demand, and Captain Picard was quick to speak before a quarrel could break out. âBelay that order, Mr. Worf.â He raised a hand in his direction as an expression of ease before addressing the problem at hand. âMiss Bahf, I order for you to explain this at once.â
âUgh! Youâre ruining the game.â She glared at Captain Picard. âHail them, Worf! Theyâll answer now! Any subspace frequency! Theyâll answer, I swear!â
âMr. Worf, please disregard any orders Bahf tries to give you,â he ordered, a tone of rising irritation in his voice.
âYes, sir.â
Despite the annoyance, Captain Picard still gave the appearance of being mostly calm, aside the mild furrowing of his brows. âBahf, it seems you have a better understanding of whatâs happening here than we do. Do you care to explain why these ships are here?â He gestured to the screen.
âWhatâs so urgent to find out this second?â She hissed. âJust wait and youâll see!â
âThatâs ironic considering your own urgency,â Riker added, now standing as well.
âSee what, Bahf?â Captain Picard inquired. âYouâre acting as if this is a dire thing that requires our full attention, yet you refuse to explain any of whatâs happening here. Do you wish to explain, or are you simply wasting our time here?â
âExplanations, explanations!â Bahf rolled her eyes. âAll you people want is explanations! âExplain this to me,â âexplain that to me.â You people always want to know the why for things, yet you donât even bother to ask yourselves why Lilip is even here!â She pointed at them angrily. âFor all you dopes know, they could be here to stir trouble. These ships could be their own people!â
âWhat? My people?â Lilip gestured to themself. It was odd, however. They felt they shouldâve been more shocked than they were. Maybe all these bold claims Bahf had made in the past few hours were beginning to become the new norm⊠or maybe they were growing to become distrustful of her. Why would they be here so suddenly, anyhow?
âWell, of course, theyâre not your people,â she grumbled, conflicting with her earlier statement. âTheyâre clearly mine.âÂ
âThen why suggestââ
Hollering in a last ditch effort, she looked to Worf again. âHail them!â
âNo, petaQ!â Worf snarled, leaning toward her over his console.
âBahf, why are you so concerned about hailing these ships?â Lilip asked in a placating voice. âI thought you said you were exiled by your people.â UnlessâŠ
Hair bristling, Bahf glared wildly at Lilip then Captain Picard, tail lashing behind her like that of an aggravated cat. âThis isnât how this is supposed to work!â She snapped. Half a second later, and what was the Welfanite soon was something else entirely as she floated upward. âYou lot are all going off-script! I should be far, far away by now on one of those ships by now!â
Faces of alarm and bafflement spread across the bridge like wildfire as eyes of every color honed in on the floating figure. There was an unearthly silence on the bridge; the only thing to fill the leftover space was the humming of the ship itself combined with an uncertain intensity of what could possibly follow.
Inevitably, someone would have to break it.
âHow⊠is it supposed to work?â Lilipâs voice was barely a whisper, but it felt awfully loud to their ears.
âOh, why bother?â Bahf lamented, leaning backwards and lying upon nothing at all above their heads. âYou people have already ruined it. The showâs over. The jig is up. You already pulled apart the curtains and have seen the people who work the lights and dress the performers. Spoiled it. You spoiled it!âÂ
âBahf, you may have avoided explaining the ships, but this has gotten out of hand.â It was becoming evident to Lilip that Captain Picard had had enough of Bahfâs antics. âI order you to explain yourself at once!â
Giving a bored look, she scoffed. âDoes this answer your question?â In a blinding flash of light, the ships disappeared entirely and what was Bahf turned into a short figure dressed in a Starfleet uniform. âSay it with him, folks!âÂ
âQâŠ?â
A disappointed look crossed what-was-Bahfâs face. âI was expecting a better reaction.â
A⊠Q? Bahf is a Q? Lilipâs mind whirled. She still looks like a Welfanite⊠but with plantigrade legs and more Human-appearing eyes⊠Wait, does this mean the Q can shapeshift?
âŠAre Welfanites even a real species?
âBut yes⊠a Q from the Q Continuum! How brilliant of you for being able to recognize me as what I truly am! We should throw a party to celebrate!â She laughed with the most earnestly amused look Lilip had seen from her. âBut, I fear the name you're looking for is Quixotic. There may be more Q than your or any number system can count, but there is only one Quixotic! And isnât that just quixotic?â
Simon furrowed his brows. âThat is not the proper use of the wordââ
âItâs an adjective, isnât it?â Quixotic huffed.
From his console, Data added, âSimon is correct. Although it is an adjective, it is usually used to describe an unrealistically idealistic concept. Quixoticism often coincides with a rash or lofty individual and is generally not viewed as a âgoodâ thing, unlike the implications of your use of the word.â
Irritated, Quixotic childishly stuck her tongue out at him. âArenât you so sharp?â
âBâI mean, Quixoticââ That was a name Lilip would have to remember. It wasnât like the name Bahf, but it was almost equally odd. âWhy⊠Why did you do any of this?â They gestured to the now empty viewscreen. âThe ships, your species, your name, even the vitals⊠Why?â All that time and energy⊠wasted.
âItâs simple! Very simple!â She said all too cheerily. âYou lot are mortalsâone of the main dividing factors between us. You live, and you die, and the cycle continues. With such short existences, you have very little say in the matter, so you think of distractions and diversions. You become obsessed with the tiny, meaningless thingsâscience, art, relationships, and whatever else you lot create for yourselves as diversions. Your own mortality has shaped and molded you into fine actors, and your reactions are quite convincing! Itâs a shame you live so short a life in comparison to everything else. What more you could have done, what more you could have achieved if you just had that one, single extra second. I loathe the idea more than anything. I could not wish mortality upon my worst enemy!â Falling backward in the air, Quixotic then broke into hysterics at what felt like out of mockery of those about her.
âI could not wish mortality upon my worst enemy,â Lilipâs mind echoed, pained.
âTruly,â she went on without prompting, âthe worst of it is your desireâyour need for relationships and socialization. You are like Terran sheep, needing the comfort of and doting after your herd. What point is there in that? Who needs friendship?â
Staring up at Quixotic, Lilip only felt more and more foolish for ever trying to reach out to her with every word uttered. She was hardly anything of what she said she was. The second she ever mentioned lying being the reason for her exile as Bahf, it shouldâve been obvious to them she was a liar in all things. How could they have ever thought otherwise of her?
âSo youâre saying this is all a game to you?â Captain Picard furrowed his brows, trying to understand.
âPerhaps so,â she answered slyly.
âBut out of all the ships, all the people, all the crews you could have chosen, why the Enterprise?â
There was a pause where there came no response before Quixotic began only laughing again, amused by something none of them knew nor understood. âYouâaskâYou needâYou donâtââ She couldnât get the words out, her own amusement speaking for itself.
âQ, I demand an answer at once.â Gathering herself finally, she huffed, irritated. âOh! Thatâs all I am now? âQ.â I told you my name, yet all you think of is the other Q that constantly bothers this ship. How kind of you.â
Exchanging glances with Captain Picard, Riker tried, âQuixotic, thatâs enough. Answer the question.â
âYou want an answer? Fine!â Throwing her hands, she twirled around in the air before landing on the ceiling and crossing her arms. Despite being consumed by their own guilt regarding the situation, Lilip couldnât help but find it at least a little humorous how much she resembled a bat from here.Â
âYou see, I thought itâd be incredibly obvious. Why, Mr. Picard, I was expecting you to be far sharper than this.â Prideful, Quixotic tilted her chin upward. âBut, I suppose you donât actually know any of what Iâm talking about, nor do you know all the insignificant details and the like,â she nearly sounded disappointed.Â
âPlainly put, I heard word in the Continuum of that one.â Without hesitation, she pointed down at Lilip. âI just had to see them for myself!â
Taken aback as people quickly began to look in their direction, Lilip stiffened where they were. âWhy me?â
âYouâre the only mortal here who actually matters, and, by the Continuum itself, Lilip, youâre the most fascinatingly cruel mortal Iâve ever met.â Quixotic grinned toothily, floating downward to meet them at eye-level. âNever could I have imagined one of the Dominionâs own kin to be all the way out here, posing as a friend to these troglodytes! Just when will you reveal to these people how inferior they are to you?â
Lilip froze instantly as a whirlwind of thoughts bombarded and cluttered their mind. What is âthe Dominion?â and how am I their kin? âŠIs the Dominion the name of a species? of my species? The thought was surreal, but why did it feel so horrid? Because sheâs⊠sheâs not your friend. She never was, and she never actually tried⊠She lied about her own species and history. What reason do you have to trust her?
But what if she is being truthful? What if she actually knows? But if she is being honest, what does she mean by âwhen will you reveal to these people how inferior they are to you?â The mere thought felt wrong; to finally find out something possibly concrete, only for it to sound so horribly wicked.Â
There was a moment of tense silence, where Quixotic opened her mouth to speak. An expression of recognition flickered across her face, and she seemed to hesitate before swimming back above everyone and ranting and raving about something Lilip couldnât quite follow.
She canât be right. She has to be lying about this⊠They tried to comfort themself. She made up an entire species for the sake of a game none of us knew we were playing. Itâs all to draw a reaction out of usâŠ
But what if Quixotic convinces them not to trust me? Lilip looked down at their hands, and they noticed how they began to viscerally shake. What if⊠everything⊠everyone⊠gone because she thinks Iâm something Iâm not⊠All because I trusted her⊠believed she was something elseâŠÂ
Their vision began to blur.
â...and not to mention how foolish it is you even let yourselves be so easily deceived,â Quixotic scolded the crew while casting less-than-discreet glances toward Lilip. âReally, itâs a joke that you think any hapless whelp truly is what they say they are. Thank whatever gods it is you lot believe in because truthfully, I couldâve been far worse thanââ
The moment the tears welled and began to cascade downward toward the floor, it felt as if time had stopped. Emotions swirled in their head, and they could not grasp onto a tangible thought. Looking up, they made eye contact with Troi, but her gaze felt oddly⊠frozen and glazed over. No person moved from where they were on the bridge, and there was another bout of otherworldly silence.Â
âI donât get it.â Quixoticâs voice startled Lilip from behind. They twirled around to find her inches away from their face with an inquisitive expression, and Lilip quickly stepped backwards for space, startled. âWhy are you so distressed? Isnât this what you want secretly? to act upon the instincts of your people and absolutely destroy everything these horrible creatures love?â
âNo! Of course not!â Wiping their tears with the back of their sleeve, Lilip tried to pull themself together. âThese⊠these are my crewmates, my friendsâŠâ They sniffed. âWhy would you think that I want that?â
âWhat do you mean you donât want that?â Quixotic was shocked. âThatâs like saying you arenât plotting something and biding your time here until you can get off of this ship. Clearly, this isnât where you belong!â
Stunned, Lilip hadnât the words to respond, and their tail twitched uncomfortably. It was hard to tell whether this was some second part of the âgameâ Quixoticâd been playing earlier and that she was only seeking to draw a reaction out of them, or if she genuinely thought this. Hesitantly, Lilip eventually asked, âThen where do you think I belong?â
âTo the Gamma Quadrant,â she answered with a half-laugh. There was a hint of concern in her eyes, as if in disbelief. âYouâre⊠not serious, right? You jest!â
They furrowed their brows at her. âI amâŠâ Lilip said slowly. âYou do realize I donât know what I amâŠ?â
âWell, obviously.â Rapping the side of her head playfully, Quixotic went on, âI remember everything thatâs ever happened to me! But, really, you donât even know that?â
âNo, I donât,â they answered cautiously. Taking another step backward, Lilip accidentally brushed against a frozen Simon and recoiled while he remained stagnant, unaware of their presence and staring off at something that was no longer there. A chill ran down their spine, and they turned to Quixotic again, only to find she was missing. Hastily, they twisted their head around and quickly found her idly poking the side of Captain Picardâs face. Lilip paused before asking, âCanât you resume time?â
âI still donât get why you value these people. So what if they saved you?â Quixotic grumbled, ignoring them. âIâve saved plenty of mortals, and they never so much as thanked me in return.â
Their shoulders slightly slumped at her lack of a response. With slight reluctance, Lilip came over and craned their neck to get a better look at her. âWhat did you save them from?â They prompted.
Deer-like ears perking toward them, she crossed her legs and sat upon the air. âPlenty of things! Diseases, enemy ships, angry alien fauna, time travel! Anything, everything! Iâve done it all!â Quixotic grinned just a bit too eagerly. âSaved them every time!âÂ
As much as they hated the thought, Lilip had to ask, âWas that because you were the one to cause it?â
Her amusement soon disappeared into mild frustration, and she waved a dismissive hand at the direction of the conversation. âWhatever! Whatever! This isnât about me anyway. This is about you.â Landing on the floor for once, she was just barely taller than Lilip, and a flicker of amusement passed through her expression when she recognized it. However, it was quickly swallowed back by an air of directness. âLook, I could take you out there, to the Gamma Quadrant. Away from all these⊠people.â With a look of mild distaste, Quixotic gestured vaguely to the bridge.
Lilipâs brows shot up instantly at the offer of her taking them there. It took them a moment to even process it. I could finally find out what I am⊠after all these years⊠The thought was surreal. To not just know but to meet them⊠to see what they were like for themself⊠It was as if sheâd offered them the answers to everything they could possibly want to know, and truly, that was the answer to everything Lilip wanted to know, even if it felt a little unearned.
But the way Quixotic speaks of me makes them sound like theyâre awful by the way she assumes I could possibly hurt them⊠Their stomach twisted into knots. Are they really all that bad? She makes them sound like murderers and criminals, seeking to destroy for the sake of destruction. That canât possibly be that awful. Surely, notâŠ
Yet, sheâs a known liar. Maybe they arenât as bad as she makes them seem.
âYou mean it?â Lilip finally whispered. âThat you could take me there?â
âOf course I do!â She grinned, pointed teeth showing. âYou donât need to stay with these mortals. You donât even need to be here. So they saved you from dying, what about it? Mortals die all the time, and no one was there to save them. Besides, these ones clearly have enough on their hands. They donât need some pesky alien that doesnât even know what they are and that may be plotting to kill all of them in their sleep.â
Her attempt at reassurance only worsened the wave of nausea that washed over them. What if Quixotic was being honest? What if she was being truthful? Was it worth the risk of knowing for certain? Is this really what you want, to meet them personally?
And what of those left here? Lilipâs gaze wandered around to the motionless figures about the bridge. Captain Picard, Simon, Riker, Troi, Data⊠even Worf⊠and all those on the rest of the ship. Guinan, Geordi, Crusher⊠Spot. All of them. Everyone. Left behind here on the Enterprise. The Gamma Quadrant is awfully far away. I wouldnât just be able to see them anymore.
âI canât. I canât go.â
Astonished, Quixotic nearly tripped on her own tail. âWait, wait, wait! What? You have to be kidding me! This is a once in a lifetime deal, Lilip, and youâre no Trill!â
At least we can agree on that, Lilip wanted to say but held their tongue. âYou keep acting like Iâm going to kill everyone or something like that! Thatâs not what I want. Thatâs the last thing I could possibly want!â
âLilip! Câmon! This is ridiculous! Why would you think that I would ever think that?â Quixotic gestured to herself, incredulous. âYouâre breaking my heart here.â
As much as Lilip wanted to detest that statement, a trickle of doubt entered their mind. Maybe Iâm the one overstepping and assuming things⊠They softened their expression. Everything in them was begging and pleading to take back their earlier statement, but Lilip answered, âIâm sorry, but Iâm not going with you.â
âDidnât you like Bahf? Didnât you want to be friends with her? You clearly were fascinated with her. You wanted âfriendship,â clearly,â Quixotic blurted swiftly without thought. âWell, Iâm Bahf. Iâm the one you wanted to be friends with. You wanted to be friends with me, Quixotic.â
âBahf was just part of the gameââ
âWho cares if she was just a character? Iâm Bahf,â she insisted. âCome with me to the Gamma Quadrant.â
Despite their trepidations, they still shook their head. âI said that I canât. Iâm not going to the Gamma Quadrant, Quixotic.â
Letting out a groan of resignation, Quixotic lifted herself into the air again and drifted upwards. âYouâre making a big mistake here, sticking around with these uniformed cowards. Theyâre holding you back from what you could be, or maybe itâs already too late and that version of you is what could have been.â She sniffed, bored by her own theories. âI suppose either way, youâre stuck here. No use trying to get to the Gamma Quadrant now.â Before Lilip could get a word in, she went on, âAs amusing as your concern about these mortals youâre so oddly attached to is, I fear I must let them off the hook. Donât worry yourself about your mistake, and I forbid you to be concerned about me, alone, out in the darkness of spaceâŠâ She rubbed her eye, feigning wiping away a tear. The next thing Lilip knew was a flash of light as Quixotic disappeared. Surprised expressions soon scattered across the bridge at the sight of the missing Q.
âLilip, whereâd Quixotic go?â Captain Picard inquired.
Lilip stared at where she was just moments prior, an odd sense of relief and remorse lingering in them.Â
âSheâs gone, sir.â
âŠ
The chime of the door to their quarters rang out while Lilip was reviewing the logs from the past two days. Quixoticâs offer still buzzed around in their mind, and they were beginning to wonder whether theyâd made the right decision by staying here instead.
âCome in,â Lilip said on instinct, not entirely paying attention. If I had gone, what wouldâve happened? Who would I have met? Family members? Distant relatives? Would I have been able to even integrate into their society? Their mind these thoughts pondered aimlessly, and it felt as if they kept repeating them over and over again, trying to make sense of any of it.
â...Lilip?â Troi startled them when she gently set a hand on her shoulder, and it dawned on Lilip sheâd been talking while they were distracted with their own thoughts. Embarrassment flushed their cheeks. âAre you alright?â
âYes, Iâm fine.â Swiftly, they turned off the PADD and cast it aside on one of the couch cushions. Watching it half-bounce before landing, Lilip cringed at their own lie. Who were they trying to trick? â...I think I made a mistake.â
Moving aside the PADD, Troi sat down next to them with a concerned expression. âWhat makes you say that?â
Humming, they tried to think of how to explain what happened. âI spoke to Quixotic before she left. She had paused time entirely, so it was just me and her, and she offered to take me to the Gamma Quadrant to meet my people there. I almost took it, but I just⊠It felt wrong to do so. I didnât like the way she referenced them, but I wasnât sure if she was lying, andâŠâ Lilip shook their head, unable to meet her gaze. âI couldnât. I couldnât leave youâany of you behind.â
âOh, LilipâŠâ Troi whispered, her voice aching in sympathy. She offered her arms out to them, to which Lilip gratefully wrapped their own around her in a hug. âI donât think you made a mistake. Quixotic hadnât been honest since the beginning of it, and even after she revealed herself as a Q, it would have been strange if she were suddenly wholly honest.â
Lilip held on tighter, thinking of their next words.
âShe seemed lonely,â they mumbled, âand desperateâ
Troi pulled back to look at them. ââLonely?ââ
They shrugged, uncertain. âShe insisted I wanted to be friends with her⊠or, well, Bahf. It was odd, but I think all of this⊠all of this was because she was just looking for company.â
There was a pause before Troi nodded slowly. âShe was lonely and desperate. I can agree on that.â She then met Lilipâs gaze and gave a soft, reassuring smile. âI donât think there was a right way to handle that, but I think you chose a good solution. She may have been lonely, but she was also lying to all of us. There was no way of knowing what would happen.â
âThereâs no way of knowing the future, it seems, especially with her,â Lilip joked lightly before pulling Troi back into a hug.
One day, eventually, Iâll find out what I am and meet my peopleâŠÂ
I guess I just have to wait until thenâŠ
this weeks class doodles :p
i finally drew a megatron in a way that im happy with so i thought i'd share the rest of the doodles too
class ended before i could color the eyes with my highlighters :( and the paper sucked so i had to pat/blend away residue with a tissue... the side of my hand was gleaming silver by the end of class it was so annoying




