#crap ending

We were in the training room, throwing knives, lo and behold Eric comes around.

“You’re not doing it right Amity,” he taunts.

“Go away Erudite,” I retort, throwing again and missing.

“I’m Dauntless now,” he said proudly.

“You’re not Dauntless or Erudite,” you say back to him. “You’re an initiate just like me.”

“I’m nothing like you, because unlike you I’ll make it to Dauntless,” he sneers.

I put the knives I’m holding back and walk out of the room holding in the tears threatening to fall out.

I sat near the Chasm. It wasn’t the best spot but it was quiet and away from the others. I stayed here with nothing but my thoughts.

I knew I could make it in Dauntless, I didn’t come here to fail.

I just need to train harder.

I got up from my spot and passed the other initiates coming out of the training room, most likely going to dinner but I kept walking. I didn’t notice Eric looking at me and drifting away from the group.

I walked into the room and went to the punching bags and start hitting them.

I didn’t regret my choice. Not one bit. No sir.

No matter how much Coulter bothered me there was no way I was going to let it get to me.

I will pull through. I will get better! I deserve to be here!

“You’re from is all wrong,” I hear to oh so familiar voice of Mr. I hate you.

“What do you want Eric?” I snapped.

“Calm down princess, I’m here to help,” he comes closer and stands behind me.

“I don’t need your help,” I step away from him but he wraps an arm around my torso to keep me in place. “Let me go Eric,” I try to get out of his hold to no avail.

“Come on princess, you can’t even get out of my hold,” he throw me over his shoulder and heads somewhere in the room. “You need my help,” he says as he gently puts me down on the mats.

I cross my arms on my chest and glare at him in defiance.

Eric holds out his arms inviting me to attack him and I do.

I run to him but he easily knocks me down. “Maybe if you weren’t so peaceful,” he taunted.

I narrowed my eyes at him and head butted him. He got off of me and I swung my leg and kicked him in the ribs, he stumbled but regained his balance and tackled me to the ground.

He hovered over me for a bit, “You broke my nose,” was all he said and his face broke out into a smile.

He pulled me up to stand with him and let his hand stay on my hip. “Meet me here during dinner, three times a week and I’ll train you.”

“Why?” I ask looking up at him. “You taunt me all the time, belittle me and make me doubt myself and now all of a sudden you want to help me?” I look at him suspiciously.

“I picked on you because you’re an Amity transfer but you kept on pushing even when I belittled you. You have potential and I want to help you refine that potential,” he ended.

“You know I thought you were just a big mean guy but really you’re a giant teddy bear under all that ‘bad boy’ facade,” I tilt my head looking him up and down.

“Shut it Amity,” he says turning and walking towards the doors.

I look after him before deciding to push my limits. I quietly run up behind him and jump on his back, “Admit it you’re a giant teddy bear,” I whisper in his ear.

“What are you doing? Get off of me,” he said but the fact that he placed his hands under my thighs said otherwise.

“You know, I think we’re gonna be best friends,” I said cheerily.

“I doubt it,” he replied as we left the room and to the last minutes of dinner.

She had never seen such a beautiful morning in many years; the way the sunlight danced of the morning dew in the gardens was something she could use to remember her days back during her childhood, where she would rise from bed early in the morning to get her mother during her usual walks around the castle grounds. The air would be crisp and chilly but the world would smell of rain that had passed the previous night, and the sun would be up just enough to gently warm whatever its light touched. Lightly dressed as she had been then in only her nightgown, the cold had always gotten to her; she let it— she embraced the perfect morning for what it was.

Besides, her mother would eventually envelop her in a portion of that long, warm gown she would wear on those walks, and they would chatter the morning away together. With all of that now far in the past, Nexus found solace upon experiencing yet another one of those mornings. Sure, she was by herself, but that didn’t take away from what she felt then and it didn’t dirty her nostalgia for she wouldn’t let it, and so with a cup of strawberry tea in one hand she took her walk alone.

The sudden appearance of so many guests within her home had been a startling development… she really hadn’t much of an idea what to do about it, but by that point she had discovered the cause of the anomaly. In short, the dimensional barrier around her would that kept it by itself and hidden had started to become unraveled— it wasn’t really that much of a problem generally, but she didn’t want any unnecessary confrontation; though some of her guests so far had been a little eccentric at the worst - which she hardly minded - there hadn’t been any “surprises” yet.

A tiny part of her had stated to argue with the side of her that she was used to— the logical and dutiful side that put her work before all else was being challenged by the question of leaving the tear open longer to see more people… she had not seen so many different people in such a long time. At least not in person…

But she knew that personal problems didn’t outweigh her responsibility, and upon that thought she halted her steps and took a small sip of her tea in silence. The barrier problem would not be an instant fix either, she realized, so despite what she wanted or needed things would continue the way things were for a while longer at least, and as she drifted of into contemplation she was just as quickly snapped out of it when a new presence was known. Friend or fiend, she didn’t know, but as she finished her tea and banished the cup with a wave of her hand, she knew she would greet them warmly as she always did; it was just how she operated.

She did however allow herself one more deep inhale of the fresh morning air, a smile blooming at the memories that washed over her as a result before dusting herself off and tidying her hair, heading in towards the throne room to meet her new guest.

"Another stranger has wandered in." She noted with a lighthearted tone about her words. "Welcome. I am sure you must have a lot of questions, so let’s take care of that. Tea?"

A thought occurred to her just then as the guest introduced themselves and started in on the plethora of questions and curiosities that never took any time to appear from what she had seen so far. Would she really be able to balance work and this new turn of events as effectively as she wished? After all, it had been an awfully long time since she had the opportunity… what if she became distracted by this tastes of the past she missed? It caused a flicker of doubt as well as a brief look of disappointment to flash across her face just then.

She wiped it away quickly however, lest her guest see and come to the wrong conclusion via assumption; her feelings were hardly their fault, and so she quickly shoved her worries to one side and her usual warm smile blossomed upon her face. She didn’t have time to worry; she never did, and with a wave of her hand she lead her guest over to the throne where they could sit, eat, and talk as was the norm.

As with all of her visits so far, she had learned as much as she could about her guest and the world from which they had come from without delving too deeply into personal matters— she wanted to come across as curious, not nosy! Eventually however, they said their goodbyes and just like that, they were gone… back to wherever they came from.

Even she did not know how it happened; it was as if as soon as they were ready to leave they simply did, as they were still obviously tethered to their own universe. It was better than them becoming trapped, especially since she had no way of sending them back on her own…

… Or perhaps she did. It was still to early to say.

Yet now she was alone in her throne room after the lengthy chat, and she had only her reflection on the polished marble flooring to keep her company -although she was hardly that desperate to end up talking to herself. She had held or this long without that nonsense- and she couldn’t help but wonder when the next one would show up.

A sharp pang in her head made the Creator flinch and set a hand upon her forehead as she was suddenly reminded of her duties as if they were even possible to forget. A planet that she had been monitoring for some time had finally come undone as she had feared, becoming chaotic and unbalanced, dying. Even beings like her made mistakes, but in this case it didn’t help that is its inhabitants were so hellbent on waging wars despite her efforts to calm them. Sometimes things simply couldn’t be helped.

Deciding to push thoughts of socializing away for another time, Nexus let out a small sigh and banished everything she had brought out from the last visit, eying the empty room with a calculating stare to see if she had missed anything. She didn’t, and with that in mind she rose from her throne which too disappeared, sinking into the ground so that it was just her in the room; her and nothing else but her magic.

Upon her chest, the golden marking that always seemed to carry a shine was glowing brighter as she reached down, down within the depths of her magic to grab hold and pull it out, for something needed to be taken care of; there was something she needed to see for herself to erase any chance of further worries. Blue eyes fluttered for a moment before closing, and the only sound that filled the room was a soft exhale of breath before the room was suddenly enveloped in a warm golden light.

Enveloped as well, she felt a surge of magic as its source revealed itself as a ball of light now cupped in her hands, and while she couldn’t see it just then, she knew it well. It was her— all that she was and all that she would be, and when she opened her eyes she found herself in darkness with only the light in her hands that was bright enough to shield her from the darkness around her, but in the dark was the best place for this to happen.

Bringing the light close to lightly parted lips, Nexus gently blew upon it, and like a fragile dandelion and is seeds, it parted into bits at the gentle current and floated about the room. After a moment of aimless floating, the lights started to settle in place where they floated exactly where they were supposed to. The whole display was circular in form, and as little names appeared in floating golden writing, Nexus couldn’t help but smile at the sight of of all coming together.

Not many times had she felt the need to draw out the map of her universe. Not many times had she previously cast her gaze upon every little light she and the other Creators had made, but she wanted to make certain of her own grounding due to her mind being elsewhere for the first time in a long time.

Slowly, she walked through the field of little gold lights with her hands folded at her front, each one representing either a planet or galaxy depending on how deep she wished to delve into things, but she knew what she was looking for. She passed a peculiar dark spot in which not a single light resided, but only gave it a passing glance before continuing on with her search. Eventually she found it— tucked behind its larger moon floated the planet which she had sensed earlier, and with careful hands she cupped it carefully and observed it.

She could hear billions of voices, and see just as many souls from simply stating at the light— she could see happy lives and sad lives; she could see life, but it was barely a faint glimmer anymore. In time it would be just as barren and cold as its moon, and she couldn’t have that. Unfortunately what had been done cannot be undone; the inhabitants had polluted and destroyed what was once beautiful, and without her intervention it would surely meet a gruesome end. It would end, but not in ways she knew its inhabitants feared.

"Come now, it’s alright." She spoke as a mother would to a crying child, settling down to sit on the ‘floor’ as the golden rings around her pupils started to give off a faint glow, and she formed a small smile, albeit slightly sad. "You have lived for such a long time, and you are tried, I can see it. It is time to rest your eyes and weary hearts; don’t you worry. I'll take care of you."

Carefully she closed her fingers around the light and shut her eyes again, the light pulsing in her hand like a slow heartbeat, and one by one the voices started to disappear… but the souls stayed, and she ensured that they went wherever they were supposed to, for when she opened her eyes and relaxed her fingers she found the light had vanished.

If ever a planet that could not be saved would start to meet its end, she would always take it upon herself to do it, ensuring that nobody else would have to suffer— a painless and easy death that was no different than falling asleep.

But, that was all part of her duties despite how greatly she cared for those who resided within her universe, and while she would rather not have anyone else go through what her own people had, caught in the crossfire of greed and destruction. Rising to her feet, she passed another look towards that empty space before sighing and abruptly raising an arm high, the action causing the lights to suddenly shift and spiral about before reforming as that ball of light one more within her raised palm.

Her eyes shut; a momentary rush of magic rushing through her veins an coming to a halt in her chest and settling to rest after a moment's time, and by the time her eyes opened again she found herself in the middle of her throne room. The sunlight cascading from the high windows above her throne as it reappeared was a pleasant warmth upon her face, and she found herself soothed. She looked down at her hands- they were empty now, and she continued to stare at them until she reached her throne which she settled into.

"Mm..." A sigh and a hum slipped through her nose and she leaned her head back against the back of the throne, eyes closing and 'horns' connecting with the marble with a soft tap, and she thought for a moment or two to change them, but decided not.Nexus was tired-- not just physically but emotionally as well; it took a lot out of her to do what she had just done...

She hoped that one day those people, in whichever afterlife they ended up, would forgive her.

In the back of her mind she entertained the thought of a world that did not need her guidance- a world that continued to spin on its own, balancing its own chaos and peace on its own without the need for any sort of help from other beings outside of its boundaries. Unfortunately, it was the one type of world that Nexus could not create no matter how much power she possessed.

"What a perfect world that would be." She whispered to the emptiness of her throne room as the corners of her lips turned upwards into a gentle smile.

Oh, she was tired.

She was falling asleep right there on the spot as the world, so highly in-tune with her, shifted and changed as she drifted off into the world of slumber. The world turned, the sun settled beyond the horizon and was replaced by a moon which bathed the world in a calming silver light, easing Nexus further to sleep. 'Hopefully,' She thought during her last moments of consciousness before her slumber. 'I'll be able to recover some energy to greet any visitors I receive later on. If they catch me like this, oh my... I would feel quite silly indeed, but I need sleep. Sleep is good, and I am comfortable.'