#crackshots

Masterlist

I’m not titling this, its from my notes app from 2021

Countryhumans x Reader???

Countryhumans ~ Drabble(?) - I’m not even sure, is this angst? Uhh we’ll say crackshot

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The nations just stared at the beautiful women in front of them. Her slim hourglass body curves in every perfect spot. Her silky h/l, h/c sitting on her shoulder. She had an angered expression on her face. She was clearly pissed off. She stormed through the room and slammed her fist down in front of Russia. She pulled a pistol from her belt and held it too him. Nobody was sure what to do. "I guess you're not so different," y/n growled. "Now I'm sure we can all work this out," UN said nervously. "You wanna give my bullets a try?" Y/n said with snicker.

She ran too her bedroom and slammed her door, startling her roommates.

❛ oh ! prompto ! ❜ she looks to him with gentle eyes and surprised spirit ; she's delighted to see him , truly . she hadn't expected such a warm welcome from him , awkward as though it may be . she is too , and she loves that about him . all goofy smiles and ungraceful tendencies . . . what's not to be adored ?

and then he holds out the flowers , and immediately does a rose pink dust her cheeks , now matching the soft pigment of her hair , and she covers her mouth with her finger as she smiles , shifting her waist as she repositions the weight at her feet . ❛ really , you shouldn't have . ❜ but considering she got him something as well , perhaps he should have . he's certainly avoided her disappointment ( and expectation ) of receiving nothing .

@crackshots said: he wore his best clothes–––– he even ironed his shirt! he didn't want to look silly as he presenting his gift. despite his nervous energy, his grin was wide, his hands behind his back to perfectly hide his present of choice. ❝ luna! ❞ it may have been a bit too casual for the air he was trying to put on, but he'd momentarily forgotten in his excitement to give her his gift. ❝ happy birthday! ❞ he called before he even revealed that there was more to his greeting. if nothing else, even if he found a way to screw this up, at least she would know he had come with good intentions. ❝ uh–––– noct mentioned these are your favorite! so i thought i'd get you some! ❞ & there was the reveal, a large bouquet of sylleblossoms. there were several variants–––– blue, red, white–––– all professionally arranged. he had clearly spared no expense to ensure it was worthy of the oracle's birthday. ❝ i really hope he wasn't messing with me. i wanted to get you something nice! you deserve something nice! i, uh, hope you think it's nice. ❞

" prompto ... " luna speaks with a smile in her voice, one slowly creeping to fruition at the acceptance of the ( quite large ) bouquet. taking care to assure him of her satisfaction. " i think it's very nice. " she takes in the familiar scent, gaze picking apart the different hues in the assortment, as well as attempting to pin their origin. lucian, obviously, but where exactly ....

" house fleuret's cerulean is a highly coveted pigment, due entirely to its, stubbornness, some would call it. " she laughs. " it refuses to grow in any other region. anywhere else, it blooms into this: a darker variety. " luna points out the blue in her bunch, petal caught between her forefinger and thumb. " just like the night sky. " her attention returns to prompto, who looks ready to jump out of his skin.

" while the sylleblossoms of my home are rare to some, i can't remember when i was last in possession of its other colors. let alone as a gift from my very dear friend. " her heel clicks, signifying her close of the gap between them. her gaze sweeps over him in appreciation, punctuating her size up of him with a hand to his jaw, and a kiss to his cheek. " thank you, prompto. 'tis a day i look forward to, if only to receive your attentions. " she pulls back by inches, the hand that was once on his face now drawing a miniscule circle on his collar. her voice seems to drop an octave. " and, you've dressed for the occasion. it suits you. "

SLEEPILY HAS HE SAUNTERED TO THE DESTINATION DEFINED THROUGH GROGGY MISSPELLED TEXT MESSAGES . he hardly registers prompto's presence before his arm is pressed over his shoulder , & the sensation jolts him into reality as he regains his bearings . ❛ hhuh -- ? ❜ & then , ❛ ahh . ❜ oh , yeah . it's not that he really forgot it was his birthday , but more like it hasn't had the time to set in yet . prompto's wishes are taken to heart despite it all , but he shakes off whatever drowsy smile tries to will itself upon his lips .

it doesn't take long before prompto is already introducing gifts , & noctis should've seen it coming from a mile away . he sighs , & before he can manage any sort of protest , a backed book is forced into his hands . eyes widen in surprise , because whatever it is , a book is the last thing he'd expect from his friend ( unless it was full of comic strips & silly quips ) . he glances to the book in his hands , then glances to prompto , a bit of shock still evident in the way his lips are parted & his eyebrows , raised .

he doesn't speak , as he anticipates the man to keep talking , & keep talking , he does . the prince is overcome with a bout of emotion he can't say he was ever ready for . he hadn't realized the photographer had spent so long not only capturing all of these photos , but printing them & compiling them into this photobook full of memories . he opens the first page & a picture of himself stares back at him , dressed in a school uniform , gaming at the arcade . prompto's in it too , but noctis is so engrossed in the game , he doesn't notice . another one at one of iggy's dinners . the chef is serving them in noctis's apartment , gladio clutching his silverware like he's ready to stab the already cooked food to the death , & noctis has his elbows on the table , half asleep with impatience . ignis dons a silly apron prompto had gifted him on a birthday of his years past . another photo catches his eye : a picture taken after prompto & noctis's graduation . they don't look that much different now , but it feels like it's been so much longer than the time that's passed since then . he shuts it with overwhelmed haste , & doesn't proceed through further pages . not here . not right now .

Masterlist

Reading Songs

Superstar!Sans x Reader

Words: 641

Published: 5-26-2024

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I was crowded by the huge crowd all around me. It was a huge rave that my friend convinced me to go to but now she left me. I hate this. I hate all the noise and people. Everyone is so loud and obnoxious. It’s just a rave, can’t they be quiet? Anyways, I was standing near the side of the room while the DJ played some music. I was reading my book, It Starts With Us by Colleen Hoover. She is my favorite author ever. I can relate to every one of her books, it’s like she writes them just for me.

The DJs loud voice over the microphone cut me out of my reading world as I sighed in frustration. Couldn’t they have some compassion for a booktoker like myself? Grumbling out my anger, I listened to what the DJ had to say.

“Yo yo yo! What is up with my gangstas! Tonight we have a special someone just for you guys!!! Let me hear you holler! It’s the one, the only, Funny Bone!!” The DJ introduced the star, an extremely famous idol known for his comedy songs. Smoke filled the stage as a figure appeared. Once in view, I saw him. I saw the most hottest and majestic man there ever was. But he wasn’t even a man….he was a skeleton. From his tall 6’4 height to his buff bones and ribcage. But, I wasn’t like all these other girls. I wasn’t going to swoon over some guy I don’t even know.

I ignored how he was dancing and doing a hot jig while his voice serbaded the room. I continued to read my book. But soon, I heard the music louder and more direct. Looking up, I saw the singer in front of me. He was holding his hand out for me to grab while looking in my eyes. The skeleton continued singing a love song.

“Cause I don’t mind if the world spins faster

Music’s louder, the waves get stronger

I don’t mind if the world spins faster

faster

faster

Just let me take you to a better place!”

I am in shock. I slowly grab his boney hand and he pulls me onto the stage and holds me close in his arms. My beautiful orbs look up to him through my long fluttery lashes. He looks in my colorful spheres while still singing. Funny Bone spins me around in a circle. Soon enough, the song and concert is over and the crowd cheers loudly before leaving. But I’m still on stage with Funny Bone. Once the entire audience leaves, he turns to me with a big smile.

“I saw you down there reading, I didn’t know someone could be so beautiful and so natural!” He complimented me with those dark eyes, only lit up by a blue dot in each. I laugh nervously as I look at this hunk of a man in front of me.

“Oh yeah, I’m just not like those other girls who swoon so easily.” I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. I’m so small compared to him. He chuckled this deep and beeping chuckle.

“Yeah, you’re different. I like that about you. Anyways, my name is Sans. Sans Undertale.” He smirked at me with his husky voice. I blushed deeply.

“O-o-o-o-oh I i i i i i i i’m Y-y-y-y-y-y-y/n…” I looked down anxiously. He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look back at him. His eyes were half lidded as he gave me a dark smile.

“That’s a beautiful name, Y/n. And you’re so petite too, why don’t we go back to my room and talk more?” He suggested. I was shocked but hooked.

Prompt: Mail Order Bride/Arranged Marriage

Requested: Kinda(it was for a deal)

I gave Y/n some design choices, deal with it pls

Title:Is Love Bought?

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There she stood, in all her sassy glory. Her yellow orbs glisten in the sunlight like cat urine or the moon's glow. A few days prior, y/n decided they were done with being a lonely, sad, and miserable fortnite player and discord mod. They went onto the dark web and searched “Order A Bride.com”. Y/n clicked the first one they saw, someone named Stelle. She was beautiful, and y/n couldn’t care less about her personality. Back to the present, y/n stood frozen. It was love at first sight. They couldn’t take their eyes off of Stelle’s orbs.

Y/n cleared their throat. “Ahem, you are my wife?”

Stelle suddenly became very nervous “y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yes I-I-I-I a-a-a-a-a-a-am……..”

“No need to be worried, Kitten. I will take great care of you.” Y/n laughed darkly. “One rule, don’t make me angry. When I get angry, I see red! You don’t want to see my dark side.” Y/n growled like the alpha werewolf they are.

Stelle flinched in fear. Y/n let Stelle into their house. “You sleep here.” Y/n said as they pointed to a dog cage. “W-what?! B-B-But I’m your w-wife! Don’t I s-sleep with y-you?!” Stelle exclaimed in fear.

“Ugh fine. If you’re going to be a jerk about it.” Y/n groaned. They led Stelle to their room. As soon as Stelle stepped into the room, she passed out. The epic gamer discord mod smell flooded the room and knocked her out. Y/n shrugged and went to their computer to start playing fortnite. Then Y/n remembered something. “Oh my giddily goodness! I am no longer single he he he ha! I am no longer cringe!” Y/n cheered as they spun in their Valorant chair.

Then Stelle woke up. “W-what happened?” She asked worriedly. “Nothing Kitten, you are just weak. Now let’s go watch anime together grrrr.” Y/n growled as they dragged Stelle to the living room couch. Y/n decided to put on My Hero Academia. “I just love Tor-door-oh-key! He is so ka-why-ee! Gosh, look at me sharing all this with you. I’m such a baka!”

Stelle sat there confused and terrified. Then suddenly, she was transported to another dimension. “H-hello?” She called out into the darkness of the void she fell into. Then she saw Y/n. With their 3 foot tall frame and golden hair. (if ur bald, use this line: With their 3 foot tall frame and glistening smooth baldness)

Y/n’s blue ocean skyline galaxy rainbow water rainy icy snowy blue orbs shone in the emptiness. “Y-Y/n?” Stelle called out.

“Hello Kitten.” Y/n spoke, their voice booming with power and dominance. “You have not been good.”

“W-What?! I have been amazing!” Stelle yelled.

“You didn’t follow the one rule.” Y/n screamed in anger. “This is my dark side GRRRRR!!!”

“AAAHHHHHH” Stelle screamed as Y/n bit Stelle’s neck. Stelle felt her teeth fall out and be replaced. She had fangs?!

“W-what happened?!” Stelle asked quickly.

“I am no human. I am an alpha werewolf demon angel vampire royal fairy gremlin Shrek Lorax Onceler O’Hare Air Blue Smurf Cat.” Y/n recited perfectly.

“WHAT IN THE FLIPPITY FLOP IS THAT?!” Stelle yelled.

“GRRRRRRR” Y/n punched Stelle in the gut, causing her to shatter the fourth wall. Stelle looked at you, the reader.

“Nah bro help me out. This story has gone on long enough. It is too crazy. Tell the author to fix their brain.” Stelle was shut up by yours truly. Because Stelle can't keep her noisy little mouth shut. Haha she is such a goofy goober lol. Now where were we? Oh yeah, my b I forgor.

Stelle was thrown into a wall that appeared out of nowhere. Then suddenly, she woke up. She was on the couch with Y/n. She looked around, it seemed like her and Y/n fell asleep while watching My Hero Academia. Stelle looked down to see she peed on the couch like the stupid wife she is.

          visiting  insomnia  is  stimulating,  if  anything.  you'd  think  ---  exhilarating,  given  lunafreya's  circumstances.  and  whilst  there  is  a  substantial  amount  of  nerves  to  settle  at  the  concept  of  being  in  the  same  building  as  noctis  ----    her  visit  is  only  a  little  more  than  moving  from  room  to  room,  accompanied  by  enough  guards  to  define  a  small  crowd.  quite  similar  to  home,  albiet  much  different  scenery.  

it  was  accompanied  by  lots  of  talking.  not  to  her,  but  about  her,  amongst  themselves.  lots  of  decisions  being  made  within  earshot,  inconsiderate  of  her  opinion.    she  was  the  centerpiece,  so  to  speak.  she  was  meant  to  look  pretty,  and  sit  tight,  form  deathly  still,  no  matter  how  tired  she  really  felt.  and,  as  if  drawn  to  any  form  of  escape  ---  her  eyes  drift  to  the  window.  outside,  the  crownsguard  seem  disheveled.  she  is  unable  to  hear  their  conversation,  but  it  was  most  certainly  regarding  her  ---  untimely  visit.    evidently,  there  were  no  outlets  of  escape.  

though,  evidently,  she  hadn't  known  of  the  boy  behind  the  parlor  door,  currently  being  ushered  inside.

she  hadn't  looked  up  immediately,  nor  had  she  rose  from  her  seat.  she  was  expecting  another  guard,  perhaps  a  member  of  the  royal  lucian  service.  one  who  would  not  speak  to  her,  and  only  gaze  upon  her  when  she  was  unaware.  not...  

were  they  friends?  does  writing  to  someone  once  make  them  a  friend?  does  being  close  with  someone  else's  friend  make  them  one  as  well?  did  ...  he  remember  her?  

upon  catching  sight  of  his  flannel,  lunafreya  rises  to  her  feet.  it's  involuntary,  driven  by  the  overwhelming  feeling  of  familiarity.  prompto!  he  saved  pyrna,  he'd  followed  her  advice  and  succeeded....  and  he  looks  ----  good.  happy.  fulfilled.  through  her  and  noctis's  written  accounts,  she'd  seen  him  grow  into  a  new  person.  she'd  always  hoped  he'd  find  his  happiness,  as  he'd  returned  her's.  

"  ....  prompto."    his  name  falls  from  her  lips  instinctively,  and  under  normal  circumstances,  would  be  barely  audible.  much  to  her  dismay,  the  room  is  dead  silent.  her  eyes  widen  in  surprise,  and  she  meets  his  gaze  for  only  a  moment,  as  well  as  catching  every  other  set  of  eyes  housed  in  the  room.  

“ Now this is my happy place . ” ⸻ @crackshots .

❛   chyeah  ,   ❜   he  stretches  his  arms  over  his  head  ,  leaning  his  back  into  the  warmth  of  the  reflective  sand  beneath  them  ,  listening  as  the  waves  shift  mere  feet  from  them  ,   ❛   you  got  that  right  .   ❜   after  a  day  spent  running  errands  for  cindy  ,  almost  entirely  on  foot  ,  in  the  scorching  heat  of  hammerhead's  desert  -  like  terrain  ,  and  then  tossed  into  a  car  with  three  other  equally  as  sweaty  (  and  as  smelly  )  men  ,  he  couldn't  thank  the  showers  of  galdin  quay  enough  for  the  cleanliness  they  granted  him  .  and  even  moreso  ,  the  cleanliness  they  granted  everyone  else  .  nothing  like  a  warm  shower  after  an  afternoon  of  hell  ,  met  with  a  relaxing  evening  on  the  beach  .  he  closes  his  eyes  for  a  moment  and  daydreams  of  the  fish  he'd  catch  here  ,  but  he's  been  taking  a  mental  note  of  the  interactions  he's  had  with  prompto  ,  or  the  lack  thereof  ,  and  decided  it  might  benefit  both  of  ‘em  to  spend  a  little  extra  time  together  .  it’s  been  awhile  ,  he  thinks  ,  and  he's  starting  to  feel  nostalgic  for  old  times  . 

he  rolls  over  ,  belly  to  the  sand  ,  and  props  himself  up  against  his  elbows  ,   ❛  hopefully  tomorrow's  not  so  damn  hot  .   ❜   he  complains  ,  breaking  some  of  the  tension  he  feels  ,  despite  it  being  pretty  much  entirely  self  inflicted  .  ever  the  conversationalist  ,  he  thinks  ,  before  letting  loose  a  yawn  he  fails  to  subdue  ,  and  silently  curses  himself  despite  not  addressing  it  or  his  exhaustion  in  the  slightest  . 

❛  and hey - - you   .   .   .   holdin'  up  okay  ?   ❜   he  worries  for  him  often  ,  but  won't  ever  let  him  know  how  often  .  doesn't  want  to  patronize  him  .  he  knows  he's  capable  ,  after  all  ,  but  none  of  this  has  been  real  easy  .  not  for  any  of  them  .