#crack!drabble

“A super soldier assassin, Mr. Wilson?” Grace cannot find anything that she could possible file it under.

“Right.”

“So the windshield was shattered and the steering wheel — ”

“Column.” Sam corrects. His head hurts, he’s seen in the uncomfortable polyester chair for two hours now rehashing a day is working to forget. “The entire steering wheel column.”

“Right,” Grace is relieved and horrified when the district manager emails her back on the matter. “It appears that super-soldier damage is not covered under your policy.”

Sam looks as if he’s bitten a lemon. “Well I’d have to admit to be shocked if it is. But this is a special case.”

Sam get’s a nice check from SHEILD but he doesn’t feel this should be his loss. “Exactly Mr. Wilson. Unfortunately the company will not be able to pay for a replacement and it seems the company is no longe able to ensure you in the future. Liability for future super-soldier damage you see. But we thank you for your business.”

“Hold a second — Super Soldier damage is why you’re dropping me?”

“Well for the sake of paperwork we’ll list it under ‘acts of God’. We hope you have a good day.”

Bucky is lurking as he always is when Sam gets out of the cab at Steve’s. It is the absolute last place he wants to be but he imagines Steve needs some sane company and he had made a promise last week.

Steve makes them coffee and asks Bucky if he wants any. Bucky blinks and shakes his head no once and asks Sam where his wings are. Sam considers saying ‘what wings?’ just to fuck with him but while he’s bitter about his car, he’s not an asshole. “Didn’t bring them.” He says shortly.

He pours over the paperwork as Steve sets down the mug and a glass of water for Bucky that the Soldier eyes warily until Steve sighs quietly and takes a swallow. Sam feels even worse for being angry as Bucky’s body goes lax with relief and he sits, gulping it down like it’s the last bit he’ll get. “What’s that?” Steve asks obviously still distracted by Bucky who sets down the empty cup and directs a thousand yard stare at Sam.

“Uh, insurance stuff. For the car.”

Steve winces and Sam smiles grimly. “Not covered and dropped me.”

Indignant, just as expected, Steve exhales heavily. “They can’t do that. It’s not fair. I’ll — ”

“Nah, screw them. I’ll just get a different one. Maybe James here will keep it in one piece?”

Bucky’s steely eyes settle on Sam and he seems offended. “Acceptable collateral.” He says, the cocky son of bitch.

Sam bites his tongue. “And get this, Rogers — they’re calling it an ‘act of god’.”

Bucky’s body tenses and Sam’s breath catches. The metal hands flies out and he grabbed the paperwork. “Bucky no,” Steve tried but Bucky hunches over it.

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes and I am a God,” He looks up and looks so damn pleased it also made the loss worth it. Almost. “I need to tell your other God friend Steve. Can you call him? I could pick up the hammer I bet.”

The Caryl Files

As eager as I am for all the Caryl Drama!Thrills! and Angst! in Heart Drift, I’m almost just as excited to see them investigate together as a super sleuth-y team. Won’t it be amazing to see them working in tandem to solve the mystery of Beth’s whereabouts? All that crackling chemistry and brains firing in unison…. hmmm. Maybe they’ll even channel their inner Mulder and Scully. It might even go a little something like this:

Atlanta, GA 10:13pm

Daryl and Carol sitting in a car…

C: Are you sure it was really a white cross on the back of the car?

D:  I know what I saw, Carol.

C: We haven’t seen that car, or any other car for that matter, for hours, Daryl. Don’t you think it’s plausible that what you actually saw could have been an “X” or a “T” or something else entirely?

D: No. It was clearly a cross. Aren’t you the one always telling me to look at the facts? What happened to Occam’s Razor? Isn’t the simplest answer most likely correct? Who are you and what have you done with Carol?

C: What I’m suggesting is that there could be other explanations. Just because you observed, what could have been a cross on the back of a car, a car that looks like the one that took Beth, doesn’t mean she’s being held against her will by some religious alien sex cult in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. You have to admit that sounds a little crazy. Even for you, Daryl.

D: After all you’ve seen, Carol, why is it so hard for you accept the possibilities?

C:  *stare down*

D:  *stare accepted*

C/D: *eye sex commences*

C: Okay, then tell me again why we’re sitting here in front of this hospital? We lost our lead, Daryl.  If you think Beth was kidnapped by a religious alien sex cult, wouldn’t it make more sense for us to be doing our stakeout at the church down the street?

D: Oh ye of little faith, Carol. You know as well as I do a cross doesn’t just symbolize Christianity. It’s been the international symbol of medical support since the late 1800’s. In fact a thousand years before Christianity, the ancient Greeks would depict the healing goddess Diana with a cross over her head, in much the same way the “Virgin Mary” is represented by many medieval artists. Bacchus, the Greek god of wine, is often pictured wearing a headdress adorned with crosses. Different types of crosses were used in Mexico centuries before the Spaniards arrived. The Egyptians used cross symbols in abundance, as did the Hindus…

C: *eye roll and lip purse* Thank you for the history lesson, Daryl…  

D: *smug smirk*

C: …but it still doesn’t explain what we’re doing at this hospital.

D: Call it a hunch.

C: Dar-yl…

D: Car-ol…

C: Fine. Well, since we’re stuck here for the night and the heater doesn’t seem to work in this car, we’re going to need to figure out how to keep warm.

D: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat was to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who’s already naked.

C: Maybe if it rains sleeping bags you’ll get lucky.

D: …

C: Or we could just throw jugs of water around all night to stay warm…

D: Stop.

——

He stood in the middle of the room, tossing his head back and forth to the music that played loudly from the speakers. "Rising up, back on the street.. Did my time, took my chances.. Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet.. Just a man and his will to survive" He sang along, dancing around the room in nothing but a pair of basketball shorts and a pair of socks. 

"So many times it happens too fast..You trade your passion for glory.. Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past.. You must fight just to keep them alive" He continued, turning on his heels and looking into the large mirror that hung on the mostly-bare wall. He moved towards it as he continued to sing. 

"It's the eye of the tiger, It's the thrill of the fight.. Rising up to the challenge of our rival.. And the last known survivor, Stalks his prey in the night.. And he's watching us all with the eeeye.. of the tiger!" He sang loudly, making a clawing motion at the mirror. His pupils turned to slits and he grinned, unable to sing anymore.