#cr3e27

dusk asks laudna out

now, there are a few things outside of the whole situation that we can factor into this discussion: a) that dusk will eventually double-cross the group and b) that erika ishii the icon has a critical role romance hit list.

let's talk about point a (which to be honest is more relevant). there's a finesse to dusk's choices that i just love. for one, the bumbling, clumsy, enthusiastic character choice was perfect. it's hard not to trust someone who seems so open with their flaws and with the things that they forget.

but what's even more brilliant is that dusk has actually gotten close with the group, and not just in a "you saved me, thank you!! :)" way. because even that doesn't earn trust. not in the way that being a confidante does, not in the way that showing concern over backstory lore and protecting fearne when she's about to get rat-squished does.

if you didn't know dusk was a traitor, you could easily be fooled by the intimacy of it all, of growing to care about people. and what other way to both earn trust and to gain leverage over someone by "falling in love" with them?

it's a vulnerable position, to ask someone out. if you were doubtful about dusk (which i suspect orym and chetney, or at least liam and travis, are starting to wonder about), it's hard to feel like the sweet, shy person asking you on a date will backstab you. but also, becoming romantically entangled is an awfully good way to get someone to do something that you want.

think about it: when imogen and laudna (not saying they're romantically involved) were fighting, laudna would have done anything imogen asked her to do. and dusk likely saw this and thought: here is someone, when she cares about people, is so vulnerable and so desperate to maintain her sense of stability in her relationships that she will do anything to fix it.

possibly, even in the face of betrayal. here is someone dusk could potentially have on their side, if laudna cares about them enough.

it's a wonderful strategic choice. and for erika, it's also a great way for them to stir the pot for the gays, even though they've already checked marisha off the list in spectacular fashion. if only imogen were more approachable...

romance brain

so, laudna's reaction. i think it was valid and heartbreaking and charming all at once. she was quite literally blindsided by dusk there, right before a conversation she had been dreading for days, so it's understandable that she wouldn't be able to really present an answer.

and that's something people don't talk about. you can get blindsided by people seeking relationships with you, but you don't owe anyone anything, especially if you're not ready.

but what i also found interesting was that laudna said: "i haven't accessed that part of my brain in 50 years" and imogen's response is "it would be strange to access that."

hello, headcanon that imogen is aromantic hehe

in all seriousness: i've been thinking lately about the expectations that have been placed on imodna since the beginning for a romantic relationship- but to me, neither of them are really built to intensely strive for that?

imogen has gone through so much with reading people's minds, hearing the awfulness of humanity, and being shunned for being who she is. the intimacy of romance, then, i feel like would feel really hard for her, because like she said about dates: "you're in their mind and you're hearing what you're doing wrong." and that's just it, isn't it?

it's hard to have a relationship (or even a friendship, as has been illustrated by her dynamics with everyone) when you know you can delve into their mind and just find out what's going on. it's hard to have a relationship when the very part that makes you you can be very off-putting and is something you always have to keep in check.

and she's heard the worst of the world, and every horrible part about romantic relationships. so perhaps i do headcanon that she's aromantic, because romance is hard and wouldn't it just make sense, if romance just doesn't click with her because she's familiar with intimacy both at its worst, and in the smallest, minute thoughts of the people around her? and to her, aren't the thoughts of friendship equally as gentle, and thoughtful, and beautiful as romance?

and then there's laudna, who is quite literally undead, and like she said, also hasn't accessed that part of her brain for 50 years, and that so much has been going on that she hasn't had time for that.

and i totally get that, too, when you're so focused on pushing forward and improving yourself and working towards better that you don't have time for romance, and the notion isn't that appealing.

that's not saying that i'll be at all upset if they do become canon (because let's be honest, the cast loves their party romances and who am i to protest amazing character moments and beautiful relationships), because i think that would also be beautiful in its own way, but i do think imogen and laudna at least won't be jumping into a relationship in the near future, for the reasons i talked about.

either way, i'm excited a) for the joy of a queer platonic relationship or b) a wonderfully delicious slow burn like you wouldn't believe.

the conversation was brilliantly played and wonderful in that it acknowledged everything that each of them had done wrong. i'm very glad that the first thing, really, imogen apologizes for was not checking in on laudna after she was controlled by delilah. she acknowledges how terrible that would have been and how scary it was and i think that is really the most important aspect of this argument to have been covered.

because, as people have pointed out in my asks (which i accidentally deleted, so sorry to that user) laudna was compromised and taken advantage of for someone else's own gain, and when she needed a friend, imogen wasn't there for her.

luckily, it seems like imogen is very aware of that fact. and i suspect that she will make every effort to be there every step of the delilah journey from here on out.

but laudna also acknowledged what imogen had been through: that breaking the rock was wrong, even if it wasn't technically her fault, and that imogen had gone through a dream alone.

i'm also glad they talked without fcg, because ultimately, it gave each of them (laudna, imogen, and fcg) the chance to get what they needed out of the conversations of that night, without feeling like they had to put on a performance for someone else, or pretend that fcg's style of therapy was working for them when in the end, it ended up being so simple.