#c3e27

Laudna and Imogen stutter over their words and hesitate and there are- still so many layers to their relationships and things for both of them to work out. but the moment, the moment they get over that first hurdle, the apologies pour out, the pent up affection and fear and the "i missed you so much, i'm so sorry, this has been terrible". because they care about each other, they love each other (so damn much).

Imogen and Laudna concoct a scheme to lie to FCG to make him feel better, and its a terrible idea but so well intended. and the moment they can tell F.C.G is actually upset, is actually unsettled, it gets tossed aside, they ask after them, they compliment and affirm and ask about how he's feeling.

the Bells get a lurking sense of concern about Fearne's past, they press into it and pull back with equal concern, they poke and pry even when they should be planning. and then end it with "we love you, no matter what", because they do.

Ashton leans in close to F.C.G, says in low, threatening tones: hes the best of them. They'll kill anyone who makes them feel bad.

They're all so fucked up, and they all just really care about each other. Its an almost ridiculous mode of operation, the way they're all bumbling through it and radiating so much sincerity that it hurts your teeth a little. Its also really nice to watch, even with winces at the missteps. They're so full of love, and ghosts, and fun little lies.

I think it mattered a lot when FCG went. I think it mattered because it was proof that they weren't all going to be here until the end of the battle, because it changed the way they were looking at the math -- and I think it mattered because FCG is the main party healer, and not having him there completely upended the math. Recovery was not going to be a thing! Not with the kind of hits Delilah was throwing around, and the tiny amounts of healing they had left. Damage race was all they had.

(Honestly, the best thing I can liken it to is a roguelike video game, where you know you're probably going to die, and you know all you'll lose are the things you didn't have to begin with. The goal of survival, then, isn't to safeguard your own welfare -- it's because if you die, you can't win. And oh did they need to win.)

And this is SO DIFFERENT from the Otohan fight! It's the exact opposite! Everything there was about the potential for death and the fear of it. Everything in that fight was about the defensive play, the cruel horrible math of, if I save myself what will protect my friends? If I don't save myself, how will I help them? Can I even help them at all anyway? The only way for them all to survive the Otahan fight was for all of them to survive the fight, and they didn't, because they couldn't!!!

And so oh, how much this feels like redemption for that. How this triumph feels like a triumph not just against Delilah, but against their every failure last time.

(FCG, their healer who survived the end to the last time -- who was short on spells because he tried to kill them that morning, who healed too little and too late because he was so afraid of himself -- who made the choice at the end, who to save and how, and hated it! -- FCG who's short on spells now because he prepared only for a resurrection, not to kill. FCG who fights and heals with all they've got, who clears the minions in a single blow the way none of them could stop Otohan's shadows. Who gets to leave early, absolved from decisions, from responsibility, given a break.)

(Orym, who felt so very very useless last time -- who tried to get up and tried to get up and failed and failed and fell again -- who died, who died and saw the person he loved most in the world for one gentle second, while Laudna ended up here -- who died, and got the chance to come back that could have been hers. Orym who spends this fight trying to get up, not to his feet but to the crown of a tree, who fails and fails and makes it this time. Orym who strikes a killing blow, the first killing blow, who rends the tree's crown asunder. Orym who dies again, still safe but without taking anybody's time, attention, magic, any of it away from the fight at hand for his sake.)

(Fearne who didn't know what to do, Fearne who had to flip a coin! Fearne who panicked and ran and muddled and didn't know, didn't know, she's not from this world! People don't suffer and die like this where she's from, in the world where archfey are immortal and time is soup! Fearne who didn't know didn't know didn't know, being the one to figure it out. The one to leash Delilah to the ground. The first one to target the tree. The one with the power to make it burn.)

(Ashton the tank, whose job it is to take hits -- Ashton the battlefield control barbarian who couldn't control a goddamn thing -- Ashton who ran, last time. Ashton who made it out only to discover that nobody else made it with them, Ashton who left them behind -- got to stay. Got thrown to the edge of the battlefield, off the map, and made it back. Ashton handing Imogen his only potion, I'll stay as long as I can, getting to protect this time.)

(Chetney who was maybe the only one actually with it, last time, tooth and claw and blood hunter curses to the very end. Chetney doing the same now again. Chetney who I still can't quite figure out, who didn't have anything to redeem but the loss.)

And Imogen. Of course, of course, Imogen.

Imogen's fury. Imogen's wrath.

Imogen calling down the moon. Imogen grabbing her power with both hands and bending it to her will. Imogen using every last ounce of magic that Otohan forced her into, when she was terrified and confused and cringing and trying to surrender rather than fight -- using it to rend Delilah asunder. To shatter a tree with lightning. Imogen blazing and brilliant and unafraid.

And all of them, together. Working together. Spreading out, each to their own jobs. To get to Laudna; to take down minions; to harry, to draw fire, to bind Delilah, to get to the tree, to throw damage. Nobody in anybody else's way, nobody scattered at cross-purposed confusion, everybody perfectly united in this one goal. The Bell's Hells, raining down hellfire, together.