Percy, Vex and how they interact which each other’s insecurities
A thing I find very interesting about Vex and Percy is that they both have such self-worth issues? It manifests just very differently and there is just a level of recognition, a gentleness in how they interact with each other's insecurities and like a lot of quiet moments.
So let’s talk about just that:
I have seen a discussion once, about why, if Percy believed Ripley was far more dangerous than the Briarwoods, he didn't deal with her first? For me it makes sense, because all the names on the List, aside from Ripley’s, did something directly that led to his family being killed. The whole revenge thing in the Whitestone arc was for Percy’s family, it was about what they took from him, yes, but not in a sense that was done to Percy specifically. He is on a revenge trip because of the murder of his family with little to no regard of himself. He even says it in his goodbye letter.
“There was nothing I could’ve done to save my family, yet I still sold my soul in search of vengeance. Later I allowed Ripley to leave, knowing full well she was a greater threat to the world than the Briarwoods would ever be. I traded the world’s safety for the belief that I could murder my way to peace; that if I could be a greater horror, it would bring my family back.”
In that sense it makes sense that Ripley is on the bottom of Percy’s list. It’s implied that she hasn’t had much to do with the actual killings, at least to Percy’s knowledge. For all we know she has tortured Percy for information and for Percy that’s not important, because she only did this to him as far as he knows. Because Percy doesn’t regard his life as much, he is always ready to just throw it out for the people he cares about. He continues to do it, when he signs the contract, when Vax insists that Percy does it rather than Tary. He sees this fit, doesn’t question it and just does it. Even at the end he would give his life up for Vex to get Vax back. There is Whitestone and legacy and family, which are very important for Percy, but Percy also writes about himself: “As to what must be done, I’d be content to be left in a ditch, my weapons and notes burnt and broken.” And Vex just brings out the best diamond she has when they do the ritual, because he is worth so much more to her and even if he doesn't know it just matters to her to show it. Percy gets the best diamond even if he thinks of himself as not deserving of that.
When Vex says to him in episode 67 “You are a better man than you believe.” Percy says “Thank you. I accept that compliment. You as well, you are a better woman than you believe. Doesn’t feel good, does it? There you are.” Vex tells him: “No, it doesn’t. Shit.” I really like this moment between them, because there is a recognition, they exchange this smug and knowing look and they just understand? Like they know that the other one genuinely means it, but they cannot acknowledge that part for themselves. It doesn’t feel right for them and they have just such a quiet moment about it? And Percy just keeps reassuring Vex, like when he writes in his goodbye letter, there is just something about the way he writes: "Vex, you often remind me of myself and that is the highest of compliments.”
About how he can see himself in a positive way when he can compare himself to her, because she is amazing. And he loves her so much. He also likes to tell her again how smart she is.
They do it all the time, they tell the other what they are for them and how they see them and how much they value their relationship, but they rarely ever push it and demand that the other sees it too. Just a reassurance that maybe they can see it too someday, no pressure. Just telling them that they are worthy of love, affection and redemption. It's okay if they can't see it or believe it, yet. They are going to be there and tell them in all honesty what they are worth it, they just have each other's back. For example in episode 92, Percy says "You know, it's entirely possible that there'll be several creatures fighting over my body when I die, and my soul when I die, already." Vex just tells him "I'll be one of them." Without any hesitation. There is never any doubt in Vex's mind that he is not worth it or whatever Percy has himself convinced. She just says it, she will fight for him, no room for objection. An obviousness in the way she says it. It seems so small, but it's just a big thing!
And there is Vex, who just grew up with a shit father in a society that looked down at what she was. That met her with coldness and judgment and the feeling that she will never be good enough, despite how hard she tries they just wouldn't accept her. In their eyes she was always less and it hit her hard, it hit her so differently than Vax. (that is like a whole other discussion for another day, the differences in Vex and Vax and how they interact with each other and others) but Vex hides it well, because there is a part that thinks that they were right and that she doesn't deserve love and affection. She downplays her own feelings and how hurt she often is so much and she really doesn't want to bother other people.
So then in Syngorn when Vex is worked up about all the bad feelings and trauma that is connected to that place, and because Vex does stuff, she tries to polish her armour, when Percy comes in and they have the exchange and I know you all know it too
Vex: “Well, you come from money right?”
Vex: ”Right, so do I look like I come from money?”
Percy: (laughs) “Honestly, dear, you're too happy to look like you come from money.”
Vex: (laughs) “I don't believe that.”
Percy: “No, it's a sure sign of it, is an abject misery, believe me. I can speak to it. You look too much like you, and you don't look enough like something you're supposed to be. If you feel the urge to deeply bullshit, I'd be happy to help you. It's not hard.”
Percy: “No. It is easy to pretend you come from money. You just have to be a bit of a shit and wear what everybody else is wearing. Does this have something to do with that city? It does, doesn't it. Who's there?”
Vex: “Well, you know. Everyone. We were judged, growing up, and I don't look forward to seeing that again.”
Vex: “It's not important.”
Percy: “Oh, I disagree. Dear, I think that if you're worried about them knowing whether or not you've made your money and made your fortune-- I don't think that's going to be the thing to earn their respect. I think you're better off, A, with the company that you keep, and B, with the fact that you're probably just better than most of them.”
Percy:”I've known a lot of people with money, and they are definitely not worth you. And besides, if they have something nice that makes you feel inferior, we can just take it.”
Vex: (laughs) “I like the way you think.”
Percy: “Well, and then they're just shit without anything, and then you're you with their stuff.”
It's one of the rare moments that Vex shows how hurt she is and allows someone else to have a glimpse of her insecurities. Vex doesn't think she is worth it, because growing up she was made to feel, constantly, that she is less than the shitty elves that treated her so badly.
Like there is so much to talk about in this scene but for the sake of keeping it somewhat short, let's talk mainly about the bit at the end.
Percy reassures Vex and doesn't dismiss how she wants to cope and reacts to the whole situation in telling her that he will happily go with whatever she plans. He also recognises that this isn't just about looking like you made it. He offers his view on her and tells her how much he values her judgment and her as a person. When he then says "… with the fact that you're probably just better than most of them." Vex's reaction is just to laugh and like deflect, because she herself doesn't believe it and Percy in the moment of realisation, what she does, emphasizes on his views of her and just shares how highly he thinks of her and cuts right to her insecurities.
“I’ve known a lot of people with money, and they are definitely not worth you. And besides, if they have something nice that makes you feel inferior, we can just take it.”
Just all of the first line. He then gives her a gentle out, when he offers that they can just take their stuff. Not a second later he emphasizes it again, when he says, the mood a bit more light “Well, and then they’re just shit without anything, and then you’re you with their stuff.”
He values her so much and he wants her to know and hell, he wants everyone to know, how great she is and that's the thing he does, right? When he gives her the title in public, a token of affection, a love letter to how high he thinks of her and he gives her in that also a home, if she wants. Percy knows how she is, so he gives her something she has to earn and something that fits and he just gives her that, something to be a part of what means so much too him, because she means so much to him and he just gives her that, so there no doubt in the worth he sees in her. He would give her all, if it means that maybe it will help her see herself how he sees her. And there is just so much recognition and unshakeable love, affection, care and gentleness in general but also how they approach the other with their own trauma and issues and everything. And when Vex said at the end of episode 115 "You're a good person and you're not broken anymore. All right? We'll fill each other's gaps. We'll be the glue.” There is just this mutual understanding and love.
