#cpytt

Back in 2008, I taught Spinning classes at fitness studios that also offered yoga classes. I was skeptical, but I decided to give it try. Almost immediately, I hated it.

I took a few classes here and there, but didn’t feel any real passion toward the practice. I also didn’t really like myself and my body at the time, so I think that made it difficult to truly open up, get vulnerable and embrace yoga. With a deep desire to “fix myself” I was all about crazy cardio and calorie counting. I never thought of yoga as a real workout that would produce real results.

From there, over the next few years, I fell in love with strength training and nutrition. My crazy cardio and calorie counting ways evolved into competitive fitness competitions and strict diets. Competing was great. It transformed my body, gave me confidence and showed me that I could accomplish something I never thought I could do. But after a few shows, it became more about me focusing on the external, and less about how I felt on the inside.

In May 2016, my husband and I moved into a new area and home which turned out to be right beside a yoga studio, CorePower Yoga. In an effort to get out of the house, get acquainted with my new area and meet some peeps, I reluctantly purchased a cheapie mat and joined in on some classes. And guess what? I ended up loving the class. I loved the classes so much that I felt sad when I had to stop to prep and train for my next show.

My next show came and went, and while I placed higher than I ever placed before, it didn’t bring me the growth and inner strength that it once did. In fact, instead of quickly mapping out when my next show would be (which is what I usually do), I couldn’t wait to get back to normalcy and practice yoga again.

I didn’t care that yoga didn’t fit into my building program or count as the prescribed “strength training” or “cardio”, I just cared that was terrible at it. No joke. I am literally the elephant in the yoga room. But with each wobbly pose and awkward adjustment, I’m learning to embrace where I am in my journey, practice self-acceptance, self-love, release the expectation and demands I have of myself and find strength in being vulnerable and feelings of discomfort.

Next week, I’m getting gutsy and starting a brand new adventure and journey. One that I know will push and change me and take me far beyond my comfort zone. I’m starting Power Yoga Teacher Training. I plan to document the journey, mostly for myself, but also for others who may be interested in learning about the process from the perspective of a meathead. I’m not sure what to expect or what there will be to document, but it will be somewhat like my YouTube Video series of my Bikini Prep.

I almost didn’t apply for the yoga teacher training. I’ll admit (and sometimes still feel) a serious case of imposter syndrome when I think about embarking on such a journey. I’m not the most advanced - I can’t do all kinds of crazy poses and I know my practice has a very, very long way to go. But, with all that said, the rational part of my brain knows that yoga teacher training isn’t about those things. It’s about self-discovery, deeper connections and sharing it with others.

Yoga teacher training did not seem like the natural next step. In fact, I just jumped right in without even giving it too much thought. I am SUPER nervous, but ready to push myself out of my comfort zone in a way that’s totally different than other things I do in my fitness life. Because what I’ve come to learn is that, fitness isn’t about being nailed to a specific type of exercise at a specific type of intensity, it’s about tapping into your inner potential, creating intentional growth and becoming more of the person you want to be.