#covenant2014

Because we firmly believe on the importance of keeping eye contact during a toast OR its gonna be seven years of bad sex! 

As of Aug31 :)

1. Pick up CENOMAR  2. Book strings (and band)  3. Look for scaffolding people to make the stage and dance floor (no need anymore!) 4. Look and book lights and sound system 5. Final food tasting at K 6. Pay the catering cost 7. Book Larry for other food-related needs 8. Finalize invites 9. Look for LB-based florist

10. CCET REPORT 11. Draft QAR process 12. Consultation on Typologies 13. CCET work at the LGU level 14. JSDF Review 15. QAR for DOE, DENR EMB

16. Start asking around for a House in UPLB 

Since I got engaged, I promised to turn this mini journal to a bulletin of prayers for our upcoming wedding -- because with all these changes we are facing, definitely we need your prayers ;)

With less than five months to spare, we now have:

1. Booked major suppliers;

2. Got our customized wedding bands;

3. Finally decided on who will make my gown; and

4. Scheduled a pre marriage counseling at CEFAM. 

For the next three months, we plan to accomplish the following through God's grace and provision:

1. Finalize the invites and be able to start sending it through mail;

2. Start prepping party needs and favors, with heaps of help from girlfriends;

3. Dresses/gowns for family members;

4. Set aside (more) funds for home building;

Aside from all this list that needs checking, I think what's more important progress is that I am able to be more open with Ef, especially with my panic attacks and fears. And to be able to pray for all these fears and frustrations. To be honest, I am having a hard time being like Ef, who seems to be very cool as a cucumber, and rely everything to faith.

It’s been three and twenty days of 2014 and my world has completely changed, and by far, continue to do so.

Exactly a week ago, I filed my resignation to my office of four years. The office where I gained direction, niche, capacity, financial security and family. For four years, I serve as an errand girl, disposable speaker, meeting filler, devil’s advocate, and worker. I have been to numerous workshops and fora and dinner gathering all discussing how to have a better earth for my kid, Earendil. I have seen outbursts of rants and laughter and met people treading differently on this soil we call home.  I experience changing of management and gained maturity on handling the management. This past four years, though created some toll on my personal life and health, made me a much much better person before I stepped in the Commission.  

My resignation came out of the blue, leaving everyone unprepared including me.  Add fear and an ounce of panic and one can imagine my state of being right now.

Imagine you’re getting married, and wanted a lovely honeymoon somewhere in the land of the hobbits or wizards. You wanted to be able to build a home with your fiancé and somewhere on the side, you plan to go back to graduate school. 

Then imagine you don’t have a job to pay for all these dreams. Boom! Wake the freakin’ up! Who are you kidding?!

I still experience fright and moments of immobility whenever I recall my decision to leave the comfort of my office. Tears sometimes fell whenever I remember the moments I tried to say goodbye to my immediate superiors and family at the Commission. These are the few moments that I experience blur-ness and need to remind myself why I resigned in the first place. 

Things might be hazy now, but I am trusting God, and surrendering everything to Him.

I may have gotten myself into something I do not fully recognize but hey, I have Him by my side, even carrying me in this unknown path. A part of me feels that given time, this decision can bite me back, but I will stand still and stick to my resolve for I have made the Lord the driver of my life.