#costumer problems

1. this is dumb 2. this is epically dumb. 3. I have about a million versions of a Ted talk I could give on any aspect of this, but:

4. Since the BIGGEST ISSUE seems to be "i had to wear it for 14 hours" MAYBE.

JUST MAYBE.

I mean, technically, I have a hundred and some costumes. But none of them are suitable for a Halloween party. What do people even wear to Halloween parties?

Charlotte would have been so used to wearing stays as a woman of that social class in that period that she would have been entirely unphased by that.

(And please don't start me on how she replies to her brother with "yes, the BONES of WHALES" because you and I both know that's also a load of horseshit and the stuff used to stiffen stays was actually the baleen from the roofs of their mouths, not the ACTUAL BONES of WHALES.)

If you need more:

fellow costumer, what did I do to hurt you, why is this travesty being forced into my eye holes. please, oh god why did this ever seem like a good idea, it’s like top half prom dress middle half Budget Henry The Eighth bottom half Mom At The Beach. It’s like you caught a medieval reenactor mid change.

Everyone with a pulse: “Oh, you’re a professional/competitive costumer? I bet you LOVE Halloween! What are you wearing this year?”

Me: “Uh... I don’t know. None of my big competition costumes are practical for casual wear. And I wear my simpler costumes to a bunch of events year-round, so everyone’s already seen them a billion times. Besides, they’re mostly obscure things from sci-fi shows or video games. Nobody recognizes them outside a convention.”

Them: “Oh, you’re so creative, I’m sure you’ll come up with something!”

Me: “Last year I just dressed in black, put on a pair of foam wings from our wing-making workshop, and said I was a bat.”

Them: “Oh, I know! You should wear that fancy pink dress you made!”

Me: “...The one that’s five feet wide, has a steel pannier, is made of silk that can’t be washed if something spills on it, and cost me close to a thousand dollars in materials? Yeah, not the best party dress.”

Them: “Oh, but if you can make something like that, I’m sure you can just whip something up!”

Me: “That dress took me three years to make.”

Them: “But it was so pretty! I bet your Halloween costume will be AMAZING!”

Me: “Maybe I’ll dress as an out-of-work costume designer.”

Them: “Haha, you’re silly! I’ve seen photos of all the stunning things you make. I can’t wait to see what you’re wearing at your Halloween party!”

Me: 

do I go straight out Xylophone Vest Stage You Know Who This Is Barricade Enjolras (which means making the vest but probably thieving the pants from costume stock)

do I do Red Denim Vest Modern Sorta-Punk Enjolras which is more assembly and decoration than actual costume making, 

do i fully over-commit and make Movie Enjolras’ stupid tailcoat (which will make me look fully like a potato, as I am short and stubby already)

or do I just raid stock, figure out whatever vest/pants combo fits me best, make myself a tricolor sash and go as Unnamed Dead Barricade Student #24? 

(there may or may not have been an offhand suggestion about being Reanimated Dead Barricade Student #24 with a french flag sticking out of my chest and zombie blood makeup but that feels like a lot of flagpole-through-the-chest building work that I’m not down with)