#cosmoscursed

She's still finding oh so very difficult to adjust back to Earth, but with a little help from Daisy to get to the kitchen and make her present, she is so pleased to be able to knock on Fitz's door and not be empty-handed. And to come in. "Happy birthday again," she smiles nervously, and yes, she's pleased, but also terrified by what she wants to say despite the fact that up until before Maveth she and Fitz had a date to go to. "I... I couldn't... buy you anything and sadly I'm not-uhm-in conditions to... work on something homemade the way you'd deserve, so I know it's not the best choice but it's the best I could..." she trails off, and lifts the lid from the tray to show the cake. She did draw a small monkey next to the candle, at least. "And I wanted to--" Tell him she loves him? Ask him out even if the date is delayed? Tell him she loves him? Thank him for asking her out even if her alien side is the creepiest race? Tell him she loves him?

“   what   are   you   doing   tonight?   i   was   thinking   about   watching   this   oceans   documentary   i’ve   had   my   eye   on   for   awhile.   i’ll   make   dinner   if   you   want   to   join.   ”

After Bakshi had been shot, Jemma had found herself lost. Literally lost, she had ended up in another helicopter during the commotion and was back in a Hydra base but had no idea of what to do, nor of who she was. Nobody seemed to have noticed, accepting she was part of the staff. It had taken her some time to stop blindly following her routine and start questioning what else she could do, where she came from, who was really meant to give her orders besides her supervisor.   So she had ran off, the first small initiative, and had gone looking for Whitehall. That was when Morse had found her, and she was told ‘they had been looking for her’ for a while.

And now she was in another secret base, getting her brain checked, and Morse excused herself just as another person, a stranger - or maybe not, came in and blatantly stared at her. Morse had used the word ‘brainwashed’, and she knew that was more or less all they knew, for now, about the process. Jemma didn’t feel brainwashed, she just wanted her orders so she could comply. “Do I know you?”

fitz  had  been  warned about  what  had  happened  to  jemma.  coulson  had  sat  him  down,  explained  that  she  would  not  remember  him  in  the  way  he  wanted  to,  but  nothing  would  brace  him  for  the  moment  when  she  asked  do  i  know  you  ??  it  made  all  of  the  air  escape  his  lungs,  leaving  him  panicking.  for  a  moment  he  debated  just  turning  away,  but  she  deserved  more  than  that.  “  jemma  it’s…..  it’s  me.  “ that’s  not  going  to  help  her.  shit,  he’s  no  good  at  this. “  i’m  uh….  doctor  leopold  fitz.  we  went  to  the  uh……  the  academy  together.  “ he  pulled  at  the  sleeve  of  his  cardigan,  hand  trembling. “  we  were  b-best  friends.  “  

Jemma tilted her head, studying the bloke. She didn’t have friends. She couldn’t have friends, she could have teammates, maybe, but given that she wasn’t even human it was already hard to believe she had ever been a member of SHIELD, or at least loyal to it and regarded as more than a weapon there. Thinking she had ‘best friends’ was a stretch.  At this point both Morse’s version of Bakshi’s version made little sense. “I’m sorry, but... I have no memory of my life besides working with Whitehall and Bakshi. And I’ve been told that I was part of a SHIELD team here, that my family is here, but I don’t remember it.” 

It's weird, the way it hurts so badly, although the injection helped, but it also feels right. If there is someone who can welcome torture, not only to save the man she loves but because she deserves to feel pain for every mistake she has done, it's her. She deserves it, not Fitz, and that's why she doesn't want him to see her abdomen, burned all over. But she didn't predict him walking in the infirmary like that - must be on purpose, she has been acting as if fine but he must have heard her screaming - and when he does she's still keeping her top rolled up on her bra so she can put on the special bandages. She grabs the shirt she's left on the bed, pulling it up in front of her uncovered middle, careful not to touch. "Fitz..."