#corza writes

The numbness came first.

Not cold, but the absence of anything she could feel. It settled over her in a way that should have been suffocating- but it wasn't. She took no breaths, and still she felt no pain. All she could do was look out, *see* everything this ill-formed (perfect) copy of her did.

The horror came upon her slowly. First, when her reindeer came to this *things* call. Growing as it stopped by a shop to buy candies for the children- just as she had planned to do. And then. And then-

It turned her stomach, seeing this thing say the things it needed to to soothe Evith's worries. Make the appologies Matiese would have made.

That was the first time she cried in the gem, almost wishing she needed rest, to sleep away this nightmare, but- no. She couldn't. And... she wouldn't. Consequences weren't always life and death and she would live with this one, as a hatred for the man who did this burned in her soul. She wanted to catalogue each deed this copy made, make him pay for each violation of her life.

In the morning, the copy called the children *hers*, and Matiese's hatred faltered the smallest bit. What would it mean, to go after him, if she led these children down that same path? The thought nagged at her, as the group journeyed to the vault, as her copy gently *mothered* her companions in that way Matiese did- so perfectly and yet- there was the rub. It did so *perfectly*. The thought of what she could do to stop Onyx- a way to kill her if they had no better ideas- and it was *her thought* a plan she could not dent having and yet perhaps she shouldn't have. What did it say about her that the thought was accepted by her companions?

And in the depths of the vault facing that- that thing she could not identify, something far more powerful than she, for a second time. Her copy knew her motivations, knew the words to say even here where Matiese expected the betrayal. When the betrayal didn't come there, amidst the gold, Matiese almost wondered if it would come at all, if perhaps this planned torture would be a lifetime watching this double live her life.

But she was luckier than that- luckier and unluckier all at once, when she saw Manshun, or perhaps a copy of him, waiting, a smiling mask over his face and she knew there was a smile underneath as well. A smirk on his lips as he gave the order and she watched her copy obey, striking at a man she called her friend, a man she trusted with her life. And she could see, just on the edges of her sight, her companions, the doubt and confusion in their eyes. Hessitation.

Red hands.

For a moment, Matiese feared they were covered in blood but- no. Nothing so gruesome as that. Or perhaps something far more gruesome.

Red hands.

There was something familiar about them, about the paint on the nails, about the glint of metal around one finger. Something familiar and just out of reach. Something that made her voice shake when she finally looked up at her companions. "What do I look like?"

"You're a red teifling!" Came Onyx's cheerful reply and Matiese could feel her heart stutter.

"I- I look like what?"

It was Sted who pulled out a mirror, who confirmed what Matiese already knew, what she feared. It was a hauntingly familiar face, beautiful, and taken from her memory at a moment before-

She barely registered the tears on her cheeks before Vivienne was taking her hand, squeezing it tight as she tried to console her. "You're a very pretty tiefling!"

Matiese couldn't stop the sob at the words, mirror nearly falling from her grip as she nodded. "I know. She is the most beautiful tiefling in the world." She couldn't say more than that, couldn't bear to explain whose face she wore.

It was the face of her wife, years ago. Before the war, before her death, before Matiese spent years running as far as she could from all but her memories. It was Eirlys' face as it had been on their wedding day. Soft and warm, with no scars to hint at the pain they'd go through before the end.

It took her a long moment to compose herself- not to stop crying, she wasn't sure she could do that yet, not with the grief reawakened after years of slumber- just enough for her to ask the questions this face was the price for.

"Later." She murmured to her friends. "Later, I- I will tell you. Who she was."

- - -

Heading home, she should have realized the night was not over for her. Should have known it would not be so simple as to go, curl up and sleep. Squidly was still awake, the young tiefling's voice so excited to see her- Eirlys, Matiese's once-wife- who looked just like him.

"Later," she promised, pulling the boy into a tight hug. "Later, I will tell you all about her. She would have loved you. So much."

After Squidly, the only one Matiese had left to face was Evith. Evith, her current lover. Evith, who she was making her future with, with hesitant moments and gentle words and the softest of touches. Evith, who she hadn't had a chance yet to tell about Eirlys, even though she was the one Matiese had meant to tell first. "I-"

And Evith was taking her hand, holding it firmly as she met Matiese's eye. For a moment, she was speachless, staring with tear filled eyes at the quiet understanding in Evith's eyes.

"It's her face," she whispered, just loud enough for Evith to hear. "I-I'll tell you more. Everything. Later. I promise. When- when my face is my own once more."

"Will you come up to bed?"

Matiese shook her head, looking away from the worry in Evith's eye. "I- not tonight. I'll sleep down here, by the fire. I'll be fine. I simply... need a night alone with her. Since I do not know how long it will be before this is... undone."

"If you're sure."

"Are you sure miss? You wouldn't prefer to start with something a bit... softer? You said this was your first time selecting something."

Bertie shook her head. "No. Nothing else. This is the *one*. I can feel it. How much?"

"Ten gold."

"Done." Bertie passed over the gold, clutching her new acquisition to her chest. This was going to create something special, she could feel it in her bones.

Hours later, in her room, Bertie stared at the purchase she had made. She didn't quite know why she had done it, just that she *needed* it for... something. Her brow furrowed in thought. Needed it for...

Her hands began to move of their own volition, spreading a this line of the fragrant material in a circle before placing the small burner the shopkeep had given her in the center. She began to speak, words she couldn't understand, almost a song coming forth unbidden from her lips as her finger moved and a spark lit the charcoal before her.

'This is right,' she thought as she began to sprinkle the rest of the incense over the embers.

Another thought came to her mind, though it didnt seem to be her own 'Who will you bring? What will you bring?'

'A friend,' she wordlessly replied as the smoke began to swirl around her, and images of creatures passed through her mind. Feathers, fur, wings, scales, all coalescing into a small dragon like shape, with scales of mottled pink. 'You,' she thought forcefully. 'I will bring you.'

With a start, she came back to her senses, hey eyes opening though she couldn't remember closing them. Before her, the last of the incense had burned away, and out of the corner of her eye she could see a flash of pink through the smoke. "Wha-" she turned to follow the splash of color, spinning around to try and get a good look at it.

From behind her came a happy chirp, the sound of claws against the wood floor, and a gust of fragrant smoke. Bertie continued to spin, eyes wide as she saw what it was that was greeting her. A dragon- or, at least, something like a dragon, but smaller- their scales the same mottled pink she had seen during the ritual.

"You're beautiful," she whispered, holding out her hand toward them. They preened in response, chirping again as they stepped forward and nuzzled her fingers. "You're *Precious*." They crooned, and she could *feel* the pleased coming from them, in a way she couldn't quite understand.

"Precious? Is that your name?"