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i return to the fandom with a shitpost

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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ladies and gentlemen
T H E M , , ,
Okay but this image gives me an au idea,,,
So in the scene where Emily says hopscotch and grabs Victor, he in turn manages to grab onto Victoria bringing her along with them. She is so scared and confused as to what just happened, that Victor is trying to comfort both an angry Emily and a very distressed Victoria, causing Emily to sadly walk away from the two living, but Victoria can't help but feel her heart break at Emily's sadness and the two women start to talk things over, eventually becoming friends(aka they start to develop feelings for each other as well as Victor)
They all begin to bond with each other, to which Victoria proposes an idea that since they have all fallen in love with each other that they all three get married, Emily feels like she's intruding their relationship, causing Victor and Victoria to assure her that they don't mind and the three of them get married in the land of the living and they get a nice little house and go on cute little dates and Victor and Emily teach Victoria piano and-
Emily protecting her tiny wife while their husband fights her ex
*bi p a n i c*

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♡~Shopping for their bride~♡
(A/N: BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE POLY!CORPSE BRIDE FICS!*)
Warnings:(none just fluff and domestic sweetness)
🦋💀💙🦋💀💙🦋💀💙🦋💀💙
Emily sighed to herself, her head resting in the palm of her hands as she thought of her life before she had met Barkis. She had a loving mother and father who cared for her, she had a beating heart and flowing blood in her veins, and a wonderful home. But out of all the silly, common things she missed having, it was new clothes, she missed being able to change into something fresh every day. She'd been wearing her mothers wedding dress since the night she had died, and hasn't had anything else to wear after that, since the people in the land of the dead had no need for material things, but she oh so desired to wear something new.
Victoria noticed her wifes sadness from across the breakfast table, her eyebrows knitting together with concern and worry.
"Emily dear...what's the matter?" She softly speaks, her peachy hand grazing over Emily's blue one.
"Oh...nothing, just...silly things." Emily replies, trying to brush off her feelings.
"Darling..." Victor cooed, he knew that Emily would often fall into depressive states if she thought too much of her life before she passed away.
"Well...I just miss having things to wear, I look at you two's closets and you always have something clean..." She says, her head hanging low with sorrow.
Victor and Victoria exchange looks for a moment, an idea already forming in their minds as for what to do to make their wife feel better.
"Emily?" Victor quizzes, his voice quiet but comforting.
"Yes..?" Emily responds, her head raises at his gentle tone, her head tilting in question.
"We would like to take you shopping, if you would feel like it." Victoria finishes for her husband, her lips curling into a warm smile.
Their corpse brides eyes widen in response, her lips separated in surprise.
"No no no, you two don't have to do that for me!" She tells them, not wanting them to pity her.
"We want to, you deserve it darling." Victoria says, her sweet hazel eyes gazing into Emily's blue ones with sincerity.
"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to make you spend your money..." Emily asks, needing reassurance.
"We're positive." Victor says, giving her the reassuring words she needed.
"If you're sure...let's go!" Emily gleefully speaks, her eyes lit up with excitement, so exciting it caused her right eye to pop out, which Victor was used to and Victoria was new to.
"Oh goodness! I'm sorry." She giggles, popping it right back in with her index finger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The three of them, walk out of their home and into town to the dress shop. Emily was so excited she couldn't contain herself, it had been so long since she had been out like this. Victor and Victoria smiled as they watched her happily walk along to the town's shop district.
They had approached a store called 'The Rose Stitch', they hadn't even entered yet and Emily was already eyeing the dresses in the windows, a large smile on her face.
"Emily come along love." Victoria called, extending her hand out to Emily's, her and Victor walking her inside.
"Oh Mrs. Everglot, welcome! Or shall we say Mrs. Van Dort~?" One of the ladies that ran the store teased, knowing that Victoria was a regular here.
"Yes hello! I'm here with my husband Victor and our wife Emily! We're just here to pick her out some things." Victoria chirped, showing them off Emily.
"Emily...Emily Merrimack??" The oldest woman asks, her eyes expanding in astonishment.
"Elmada??" Emily questions back, a large grin sweeping across her.
"Oh my goodness! My dear welcome back, good lord where have you been?" The elder asks, it felt so good to see her old friend after so many years.
"Oh you know, dead." Emily chuckles, her fingers covering her lips as she did.
"Poor thing...I'm sorry..." Elmada apologizes, her heart sinking at this news.
"It's quite alright." Emily assures her, her smile still present.
"Well take a look around dear, I'm sure we have something for you."
Emily begins looking around the store, Victor and Victoria following and helping her out with decisions or just finding things that they thought would look nice on her.
They spent about a good hour and a half in the shop, before Emily had decided on the dresses she wanted. She had picked out several dark blue dresses, a couple of white ones, a peach colored pink one, and a night gown with blue lace trim as well as a pair of new shoes and some accessories to go with all of them.
They had broke the bank for her, it really didn't matter anyways knowing that they still had more than enough money to last them due to Victor's family business, but it was worth it to see their sweet wife smile with pride as they went home, hat, shoe, and dress boxes in hand.
~End~
♡~Nightmares of the past~♡
Warnings:(descriptions of violence, murder, death, blood) 🦋💀💙🦋💀💙🦋💀💙🦋💀💙 The night was calm and damp, the sounds of pitter-patter hit against the windows of the Van Dort's home as it rained. The three lovers we're curled up together in bed, as well as Scraps who layed at the foot of the mattress, keeping his owners as safe as a little skeleton dog could.
But not all slept peacefully, Emily, even though she no longer needed sleep to function, enjoyed it as recreation, a chance to rest her bones. But behind her eyelids, flashes of her old flame came back to haunt her. She could hear his voice taunting her, mocking her, saying how much of a sad, pitiful, naive little girl she was.
'Always the bridesmaid, never the bride!'
'Can a heart still break once it's stopped beating?'
'Silly girl, you couldn't see I only wanted your money? You truly are vazey.'
"No...Barkis please..!" Emily cried out in her sleep, her hands twitching in discomfort. Lips curling into a frown as well small tears rolling down her cheeks. Her cries growing louder as she pictured a rock coming down on her face, a pool of blood forming under her body. She could only shoot up off of her pillow, shouting a loud 'NO!!'.
Her cry causes her husband and wife to awaken, eyes darting around the room to see if there was any danger, looking over to the far right of the bed, seeing Emily's trembling frame in the moonlight.
"Emily! Darling, what's wrong love..?" Victoria coos sleepily, properly sitting herself up to cradle her wife. Victor had gotten up to light a lamp, so he could clearly see what was going on.
"I-I'm sorry for waking you two u-up...but...b-but I..." Emily stumbles over her words, not being able to form a full sentence through sobs.
"Dearest...your stuttering more t-than I do..." Victor softly jokes, attempting to get one of her famous giggles out, but failing as she continues to cry.
"Shhhh...shhhh...breathe or...imitate deep breaths." Victoria instructs Emily, her hand rubbing small circles against the others back, feeling every bone and dip in her spine. Emily does as she's told, trying her best to calm down, tears still streaming down her powder blue complexion, but slowly dwindling down.
"Now...is that better?" Victoria asks, her soft hazel eyes gazing at Emily in reassurance. The corpse nods her head, her nonexistent breathing now having calmed down.
"Would you like to tell us what it was? A bad dream perhaps..?" Victor inquires, his hand resting on top of hers.
"W-well...it was about Barkis..." Emily responds, her voice quiet and broken. She looks out the window, the rain helping to soothe her.
"He was...mocking me...taunting me...saying so many hurtful things...memories of the last thing I saw before I..." Emily continues, her fingers brushing across the dents on her forehead, her lips pursed into a frown.
Both her husband and wife look at her with nothing but sympathy, understanding and sadness. They knew how she died but never the details.
 Victor leans up to her, kissing the dents with tender pecks, Victoria combed her fingers through Emily's hair, even Scraps, who was now nestled in her lap, were all doing their best to take away those painful memories.
"He's gotten what he deserved dear..." Victoria cooed, her rosey cheek resting on one of Emily's shoulders, Victor laying on the other.
"He can never hurt you again...we're here." Â They spoke, holding her softly, whispering gentle words of comfort and sweet nothings.
"Thank you my loves...thank you so much." She graciously thanked her spouses, a small smile was now replacing the frown.
The three returned to sleep, peace now filling the corpses mind as she drifted beck into rest as she lay between the loves of her afterlife, the ones who made her feel as if her heart was beating once again.
~end~
[The Picnic]
*Hello all! Please enjoy this Poly!Corpse Bride idea that I've had swimming in my head, also I'm sorry if it isn't that good I haven't wrote like this in a while 😅*
♡
It was a rather sunny day in the town, which was highly unusual for the folks who inhabited it, but they took what they could get. The children were playing outside, older women were using the fine weather as an excuse to get out and gossip, and the businesses were open for a little bit longer that the morning. Meanwhile three young adults were planning to use the day to go out and spend it in each other's company. The Van Dort's were inside their home preparing foods for a basket, just about ready to head out into the warm sun.
"Victor! Victoria! Are you almost ready darlings?" Emily asked as she finished preparing the last of their refreshments.
Just as she had called out for them, her husband and wife came down the stairs in their finest summer clothing. Victoria was dressed in a light-red dress that came just above her feet and ankles, patterned in her signature stripes as well as a sun bonnet, while Victor was in a vest, a white dress shirt underneath it with his sleeves rolled up. As for dear Emily, she was in a blue and white dress that was the same length as Victoria's, adorned with lace and a black ribbon holding her hair back. Sure she couldn't tell I'd it had gotten warmer outside, but she knew how to dress like she did.
"We're here Emily, we just had to grab some things dearest." Victoria spoke in her sweet and quiet voice.
Victor was carrying a couple of sun umbrellas for his wives, as well as some sunflower oil just in case to make sure he and Victoria didn't get sunburnt, since he knew Emily couldn't, while Victoria held some books to read and her best basket to carry the food in.
"Oh how splendid! Well everything is ready, Victoria can I see the basket darling?" Emily asked, holding her hand out, grabbing the basket from her wife as she placed everything in it.
"Should we be heading out?" Victor wondered to his wives, handing them their umbrellas before extending his arms out to both of them.
"Always a gentleman~" Victoria cooed as Emily gave a giggle, the two of them wrapped their hands under his arms, as they began to head out of their home.
Things in the land of the living had gotten so much brighter since Emily had come to stay. Her blue was a bright contrast to all of the greys and browns of the town before sure, but on this day she shined brighter than before.
Everyone would stop and stare at the ironic beauty of the corpse, she was still as beautiful as many of the people in town remembered her when she was alive.
The trio walked for a little while beyond the town, before reaching a field with a hill, the perfect place to set up for their lunch, well Victor and Victoria's lunch saying as Emily could only really drink but not eat. Her smile grew as she let go of Victor's arm, running in excitement to their spot.
"Emily dear watch out! Your leg!" Victor called out to her, but his warning fell on deaf ears as Emily tripped over herself, causing Victoria to gasp in concern for their wife.
Emily sat up before reattaching her skeleton leg, stretching it out before giving a quick thumbs up while showing the basket was okay, then heading off again. Victor and Victoria just giggled at her, before deciding to run as well.
Victoria had never felt such excitement like this before, she was never allowed to run around and play as a child, goodness she was never even allowed to be near the piano, but ever since her marriage to Victor and Emily she was expanding her horizons a lot more.
After the run to the hill, the three collapsed at the top, laughter erupting from them, glowing smiles on their faces. Emily smiled as she began to unload the basket on the ground, placing sandwiches, water and tea to drink and some cake they had saved from the other day. Victor and Victoria took the blanket from her as they spread it along the grass, then sitting down on top of it as they passed things around from their wifes hands.
"That was quite the work out, knocked the wind out of me." Victor breathlessly chuckles, running a hand through his black hair.
"Very!" Victoria replied, her light pink lips giving him a grin.
"Well it would if I had any wind in me!" Emily jokes, reminiscent of what she had told Victor when they first met.
As her living spouses began to eat, Emily grabbed one of the books Victoria brought, pouring herself some tea as she started reading.
"Darling these are wonderful, you did outstanding." Victor says, complimenting his corpse bride.
"How on earth did you get this tea to the right consistency?" Victoria quizzed.
"My mother let me help her cook when I was little, she didn't mind showing me how to nor did she mind helping the kitchen maids." Emily replies, taking a sip of her tea.
They spent that whole morning and afternoon there, talking amongst themselves, coming up with stories of their own once they ran out of books, or just talking about their childhoods. Emily's was particularly fascinating to her husband and wife, she had such a well rounded and free willed childhood, she got to travel, she went to balls and cotillions, she got to even go to the beach in the summers, which she promised they would all go to that same year.
As it grew darker, the three began to pack up their things before heading home after a fulfilling day in the sun, lightning bugs surrounding them on their journey home as they walked along the same way as they came.
~END~