yo how do I figure out if I was the original guy or not?
hey, we’re not sure what kind of system you are, so we’ll answer this from a perspective of a did system, since we are one.
not every did system benefits from “original” or “core” language, or even figuring out who was the “first” or “main” alter. our system personally is actually harmed by this language, so we don’t have any firsthand experiences to offer you - we’re sorry. but we do have some general advice which might help?
first, it could be useful for you to conduct interviews or just ask around to your other headmates to see if any of them feel like they are the original, and if not, if they know who they original is. many systems find it difficult to share memories between headmates, so it could be that a member of your system knows something about your past that you are not aware of.
next, it might help to spend some time doing a bit of self-reflection and try to think of your earliest memories. if your past recollections go further back than any other member of your system, it could be that you are indeed the original. keep in mind, though, that it’s normal to not have memories from your first couple years of life. even people without dissociative disorders or memory problems may not be able to remember what life was like before they were a toddler.
last, if you feel like the original, and if no other headmates have any objections to this, we don’t see why you can’t or shouldn’t go ahead and call yourself the original if it helps you. it could be that the original is now dormant or has since fused. you may never be able to fully understand with complete certainty who the original was in your system. but if using this language is useful or beneficial for you, we don’t see why you couldn’t go ahead and use it.
throughout this process, therapy could probably help a lot. regular sessions with a qualified professional could help clue y’all in to who you are, who you were in the past, and how best to identify in ways that are helpful and affirming to everyone. so if you’re in therapy with a therapist who you trust, this would be a great question to bring up!
we’re so sorry if this response isn’t very useful or if there’s nothing here that could help you. but we’re wishing you the best of luck with answering this question for yourself in the future :)
