#cordes.

but jennie was different, in a way at least. roseanne couldn’t personally pinpoint what it was exactly, but there was something that had made the process of breaking down her wall of fear around the blackpink member a little easier. which was a good thing especially for now, since one could not teach another to play the guitar with shaking hands. one couldn’t even play the guitar with shaking hands to begin with. 

since practicing individual notes was a boring concept and they had already going through the routine of repeating common cords she decided now to play one of the most beginner songs to gather more comfort to the guitar in jennie’s grasp, her fingers guiding the idols along through the strings. and when adding vibrato to the notes it was similar to how one would trill on the flute, but instead of their being a specific key to flicker on the foot joint, it was all in the string itself and the way your finger would manipulate the intensity. “hot, cross, buns. one a penny.. two a penny... hot, cross, buns.” she sang the tune in english, her austalian accent muffled by the hums she stifled between the paused of the words. 

the result? making her shy nature even worse when around these faces. especially the ones she pieced together were among the popular. even though she’s been living in the heart of korea for a few years she still lacked the ability to adjust to it all.

and now that we have a piece of her background, let’s cue the nervous hands, fumbling on her lap as she raised the pitch of her vocals. how do fans survive fanmeets when she can’t even let an idol know they dropped something? “uhm.. tzu....” she was praying to God that she said her name right, only remembering a splice of it and completely forgetting the fact she didn’t use formality either. “your card.. you dropped your card!” she was referencing a pay card. either debit or credit, she didn’t check. her feet had to speed up a bit to catch up to the wandering idol, yet again praying that she didn’t look bad from an outsiders point of view. tap. tap. “excuse me, i believe this is yours..”

and this was the reason why she avoided the majority of contact with idols. she looked like a fool. the only thing ironic about the particular situation was that she had texted another member of twice’s maknae line hours prior with no issues in the world. it really goes to show you how much of a difference being comfortable with someone makes. 

when she arrived years ago she was expecting to enter into a home full of life in other ways than just humanity, maybe a cat, or a dog or two. and if she was lucky a bunny or something. she should’ve known better though, should’ve known that at her grandmothers age it wasn’t practical to take care of yourself alongside other acts of life that were fully dependent on you. but even so, when she dropped hints or would respectfully ask she was left with the same answer of ‘but who will look after them while you’re in school honey?’ which made sense in a way, but also didn’t. or maybe that was just her acting out on the inside about it all. 

and so, respectfully, she found herself vacating pet stores and zoo’s instead. at least this way she got more animals to honey up to than she would have at home even if they did have a pet. it was just the immense population of people that had her a little taken back at times. the kids that would run through and rush around in a mass attempt to either get somewhere or find their parents. on some days it reminded her of herself when he was younger, chasing around her elder sister. and on others, it simply gave her a headache. she never showed distaste though, her aura was always brigh.

thankfully today was like the former. the bipolar weather not phasing her at all as all she needed was a warm pullover and her trusty white adidas to successfully venture through seoul grand park. everything was going smoothly too until she took one too many steps backwards and her ditsy nature had her tripping, the gudak app closing itself in the fall of her phone. which she was pleased fell in a soft spot of grass behind her, but she was more so focused on the presence she had just rattled. 

“i’m sorry... i didn’t look where i was going...” you could tell by the look on her face that she truly was apologetic, not even thinking twice on whose blame it was, she was willing to take it all. she felt too ashamed to even fully look up, her hands frantic and waving in front of her as if to pass the motion that she was fine as she left her concern into him, eyes peered at their shoes until she slowly raised her head after the respectful bow and repetitive sincerity laced in her voice. “did i hurt you or anything..? i was too distracted by the big statues...”

“ don’t worry about me, Im not crying. ” minha answered the female infront of her. she kept her head looking down to the grey asfalt below. the weather wasn’t exactly bright, it was a little cloudy too. her mood often depended on how the weather would be, but, not today. she felt hurt. she couldn’t explain why just yet.

crying was something she could relate to. she was a huge crier. something good happens, she’ll cry. she misses someone, she’ll cry. she feels hurt, she’ll cry. it’s a never ending list of reasons why the waterworks should open their flood gates. even if she was open about it, never ran off or tried to hide the fact, it was understandable why someone else would. we’ve all ended up in a situation similar when it was much easier to escape the truth than accept the fatal fate. that something was wrong, ruining our perfectly alight manufactured world we feed in the essence of our minds.

which is why, she wasn’t pushy. but she wasn’t going to leave either. she can remember those times she pleaded in her mind someone would stay despite her works of reassurance. and if that was the case for now, she wanted to be there. at least until she was told otherwise and granted a pass to leave. but for now, she was stable about it. 

“Yes, you are right. I’m sorry.” Kyunghoon shrugged his shoulders and lowered his head, “But is not too late to do it now,” he glanced up at the female once more with an apologetic look through his eyelashes. “right?” 

confrontation was never her thing. she was too timid to do such an act. if it came down to it, she’d rather have to suffer and bite her lip in the agony. sure, that was like feeling a inkling of hell burning her skin, but it was even worse to actually confront. to have the shaky hands, nerves anxious, lips trembling and spilling out every practiced phrase incorrect. that was like having a demon directly eat at your soul. she took suffer in return for less suffering. 

but he made it so easy for her.. right? like a criminal caught red handed.

“it’s never too late.. there’s always a time and place to fix things.” she bit her inner cheek to prevent herself from saying something related to God and how he appreciated any work of progress. she had a positive aura though, and her height came in handy as she didn’t feel small enough to drown in her words. “do you not trust me? is that why you took my phone?”

so that made today shopping day. a wardrobe cleansing. despite the sporadic weather patterns and its constant confusion of what season it truly was she was going for it either way, telling herself she was at least planning for spring if any of the items didn’t get put to use now. she hoped at least one or two would though, for her poor wallets sake. 

“juno, what do you think of this?” she stepped out of the changing room with high enthusiasm, her monolids slit while her cheeks rose to match the growing euphoric aura she currently held. the first outfit she was trying on was a light blue long-sleeved dress shirt, the collar low and folded, and over it was a slim black dress. yes, the whole point of this was to get some colour in her wardrobe. but she couldn’t help herself, plus she was hoping that her companion wouldn’t notice either. “it would look really cute with my white adidas... i shouldn’t worn them today..” at her realization she was pouting, fingers running through her hair as she become frustrated at her own foolishness. 

“what typa friend—”

he pauses and actually ponders, thinking of the flat iron (he only knows about it because of his friend in high school who thought he’d look pretty cool with the soft purple greyish hair wavy which wasn’t a good idea because of the fact the product slipped and burned his forehead for a good few minutes, let alone his scalp with the iron had been pressed against it far longer than it should have been. he shakes his head, shudders to be a little extra before tapping his shoulder as if he’s really thinking about the possibility of cooking bacon with a hair straightener.

great, now he’s hungry. for bacon.

“well..i mean, in a sense, maybe you can? or not..depends how hot the straightener can get? but, like…wouldn’t you need a wide iron? otherwise…man, that shit’s gonna take forever to cook. but damn you, because now i’m fuckin’ hungry and i want bacon.”

the idea reminded her of those silly challenge videos that she saw on youtube. her particular question derived from a video she saw of two men attempting to make breakfast on a hair straightener. eggs, pancakes, bacon. the full american trio. it was even more humourous how it seemed to partly work too, the egg and pancake mess making a mess of course, but the bacon as crisp and cooked wholesomely. she’d never try it though, no matter how many personal laughs she could get. those things were expensive, and even if her hair was already sleek and natural straight she couldn’t bare to sacrifice her hot tool. 

but she continued to play it off, pretending she heard it from the subtle lips of a friend. it made it fun for her, to hear how he went so in depth and tried to give a rational explanation to it all as if it was some form that needed precision to be perfected.