Partially Obscured Journal
timelost AU go brrrr
Written as a journal found by Commander Tellus during the events of SoTO. (Cor belongs to @salad-tales, Mikhail who is mentioned belongs to @dumb-dumb-mander.)
???
I haven't kept a journal for myself in a long time. I haven't remembered or had time orā¦ I'm making excuses. Malomedies always tells me it's important to write. I do, just not always in the same place.
I don't know what happened. I can sense Nykai trying to find me. I can sense his panic, still. I guess that comes with being the Champion of a Dragon of Time. He can sense that Iām alive, just not when I am. And he has to search along all of time, past and future. And he sees it all, it must be so hard for him to narrow in to find one blip.
I donāt even know when I am. I donāt recognize anything. Iāve been walking for a while. I try to keep people- mostly humans, I think, from seeing me. Itās easy, with my Lightbringer training. And being a spy. Iām trained to be unseen, after all.
I think Iām moving toward the Grove. That will at least give me something. If Mother is just a sprout or a sapling, that will at least give me something. Even if itās nothing concrete. Itās something.
(The next entry is still undated, the edges of the page are crinkled as if gripped tightly. The pen used was pressing very hard, there are some small tears.)
???; Three days have passed
I didnāt make it. I havenāt made it to the Grove, butā¦ Mursaat. Mursaat are still alive, still around. No White Mantle, though, soā¦? I donāt know what that means, Iād normally ask Cor for confirmation on dates. I donāt know when that means, it could be as early as pre-exodus. I donāt know what this means. Mursaat, no White Mantle, humans existingā¦ I need to redirect towards Ascalon. Try to see if the war is on. See if charr and humans are battling or not.
(Pages are ripped out haphazardly. Several pages, unknown numbers of entries. The next one that isnāt too damaged to read is a little shaky. There are drops of driedā¦ something.)
757, specific date unknown
Itās 757. If I remember right, Joko is starting his conquest. Joko isā¦ Mother, just the thought, that if I could convince these captors to free me, if I could only break out, I could go end a lich god-kingās reign before it truly begins.
These people. This Astral Ward. They insist itās for the better of Tyria. The Mursaat that grabbed me- itās still jarring just how much bigger they are, his entire hand wraps around my torso like Iām one of Romeoās toys. The mursaat tells me itās to preserve the timeline. They seem to know Iām out of time. Timelost, the seer keeps calling me.
Seers, mursaatā¦ I need to get to their library. Iāve seen it. I need to know more, I need to know whatās already happened and whatās yet to come.
Phoenix 16, 757
The mursaat- Mabon. His name is Mabon. I need to write his name, respect him. Heās doing a lot for me. Convinced the seer, Isgarren (the wizard from the tower in Garrenhoff, apparently) to let me leave that cage. As long as Iām supervised. Thatās fine. As long as Iām free. Mabon is nearby. Iāmā¦ I havenāt read this many history books in a long time. Kahedins would be proud. Iām getting everything narrowed down, of whatās already happened. Whatās coming. I canāt stop anything, that would ruin the timeline. Iāve seen the effect one change can have. Nykai and I were the catalyst for breaking what was supposed to be already.
I canāt believe I miss him so much. I canāt sense him anymore. Something about the magics of this place. I canāt sense my Elder Dragon. Iām sure that means he canāt sense me either. Mother, he must be so scared. Canach must be terrified. Romeo and Saoirse, I canāt even imagine how theyāre feeling. Romeo already lost a pair of parents, now heās lost his new mother. I canāt believe thisā¦ I need to get back to them.
Phoenix 10, 762
It's been a while. I've been busy. Excuses, I know, papa. I can see my star. The Moondrop, the star he named after me at its apex. I've pointed it out to the jotun. Dagda. We bonded over the stars. Over how I was brought up studying and reading their guidance. Sheās calling me moondrop now. She seems to think it's sweet that my dad named a star for me, a whole constellation for me.
Isgarren isā¦ I think he's getting used to the idea of my magic. Of me not being a threat. I don't want to damage the world my family must exist in one day. If I were just guaranteed that it would benefit, I would act. I'd have killed Joko five or so years ago. If only I knew it would benefit. Change things in a good way.
Mabon is shockingly easy to get along with. He has regrets. I do too. You don't live as long as he does, as I have, without regrets. It'd be suspicious if you did. He's open about his past. What he remembers. Yesterday, he and I stayed up for hours. Sitting outside his chambers, talking about our pasts.
The future, in my case. But itās still nice. To talk.
(Many entries, as you read, appear to be day-to-day accounts. A few weeks tend to be skipped over, sometimes entire months. But never years. Vie seems to be growing to like the wizards, her words offering insight to a time at peace. A time when theyāre not stressed and losing people left and right.)
Zephyr 30, 957
Mabon joined me star-watching last night. Usually itās Dagda, but she was busy with apprentices. The way she left, it feltā¦ Itās been a long time since I sensed Mikhail trying to get Canach and I alone together, or me trying to get Cor and Trahearne alone (Mother, I miss both of them so much). It felt like that. It felt like she was making excuses to have Mabon take her place.
He listened with full intent to learn. He listened to everything. Last night, the 29th of Zephyr. In 372 years, Aurene and Nykai will hatch. Just under four hundred years left. Iām so close. Iāmā¦ So close to home. I just have to wait a little longer.
And yetā¦ I find, when I dream (yes lowercase d, Iām still not connecting to Mother, nor to Nykai in my sleep) itāsā¦ Not Canachās face. Not anymore. Not his voice, his face, his touch, his love. Itās not him Iām wanting. I know heās waiting for me. I know, heās probably searching. Butā¦ This feeling, the face I saw.
No. Not a face. It was a mask. Mabonās mask. Iā¦ I canāt believe myself. Iāve held on for so long.Ā
Colossus 15, 1000
The Wizardsā¦ I didnāt realize theyād want to celebrate. Lyhr, his emotional side, he asked when my birthday was. Heās correcting himself, it wasā¦ Nice. āAwakening, I mean. Sylvari arenāt born.ā It was today. I didnāt realize theyād celebrate for me. Or that any of them still celebrated the days theyāre born. Maybe I just didnāt pay attention. Maybe they do it in private.
They brought me to the Bastion of the Obscure. Sent the Astral Ward members away for it. Dagda made me a cake. They didnāt have gifts. Logic Lyhr said it was too short notice, but heāll start making me something. We enjoyed the peace. Dagda made a point of showing the other wizards the moodrop. Itā¦
It was an eclipse. Just as it will be when Iāll truly be born in 320 years. The moons both in eclipse, with the apex of the moondrop glowing so bright itād be the only light if it were foggy.
Isgarren took me aside, after watching the star. He was thinking. Iāve learned that look. The obscured night when I stepped from my pod seemed to click as a final puzzle piece in his mind.
He offered ascension. Asked me to lead the Bastion of the Obscure, to become the Wizard of the Obscure. Iā¦
I considered it. I did. But in just 320 years, everything begins for me and this waiting ends. But I canāt let myself forget Nykai. I canāt forget my family. I canātā¦
Mabonās getting ready for bed.
Colossus 16, 1000
This will not be much of an entry. Apologies, Papa. But with me refusing ascension, Isgarren gave me a new title. My rank is above the Ward but below the Court. Somewhere between. Something personal to them, rather than calling me by someone elseās name for me.
They wonāt be calling me Champion of Time anymore. Theyāll be calling me Timewatcher. Fitting, I suppose.
Phoenix 14, 1079
I followed him. I shouldnāt have. I knew this was coming, I knew the mursaat would die out, butā¦ I couldnāt tell him. Mother, I wanted to. I wanted to warn him. Wanted to soothe what was coming, but that could break things. I wanted toā¦
Yesterday, the mursaat died out. Today, Mabon went to Bava Nisos. I followed him, he didnāt know. I followed him, watching and following as he looked over the devastation of his people. I can sense him, I could sense how much he hurt. How angry he was. Heās isolated now. Thereās no more mursaat, just himā¦
I followed him into the city, followed him chasing down a (the ink over the word is too smudged to read) inside. I followedā¦ He never knew I was there. Or maybe he sensed me like I sensed him. Mursaat mates can sense each other, he says. Itās not just my Dream linking to his magic.
Weāre back in Amnytas, now. In the tower. Heās distracting himself, tending to Suledin. I just wish I knew how to help him. A burden that is shared is much easier to bear. I wish I knew how to get him to share this burden. Iām his mate. If he canāt endure this with me, who can he endure it with?
Honestlyā¦ I donāt know if thereās a purpose to waiting. Yes, itās only 241 years. But I am not the lilac they lost. Even if I step in exactly when I was sent back, it will be clear Iām not the same. Iām notā¦ Iāve changed. Bough, Iāve mated to a mursaat!
Maybe I should accept Isgarrenās offer. Maybe I should become the Wizard of the Obscure.
