#coolcucumber

No matter how rich or poor, fat or slim, smart or dumb, nice or mean you think you are. YOU! Yes you! Who most likely just got done with or is about to masturbate (because you’re on tumblr) will have to deal with a breakup. Not all breakups suck, but they are all hard to deal with. Like murdering your vestigial twin that may or may not be slowly killing, it’s something that’s gotta happen. In my limited experience on this earth I’ve found that breakups come in three flavors; Cool Cucumber (where both parties equally agree the relationship has run its course, and should be ended), Bitter Melon (one or both of the parties choose to break it off, but there are some hard feeling about it) and finally there’s Buttermilk… ( buttermilk breakups are the worse. They are just terrible all around and it usually ends with someone getting cut or creating a kickass album. Yea, I’m talkin’ about Queen Bee.) My first relationship at the age of 24 had a cool cucumber ending, but turned bitter melon when I found out he was dating a close friend of mine a few months later…womp womp

The thing is, even if your breakup is cool cucumber, bitter melon, buttermilk or tangerine dream (friends with benefits) no one tells you that the worse thing about ending a relationship isn’t the breaking up. It’s the emotional shit-storm/ heartache diarrhea that hits you the next day, and lasts for the next 2 months to a year.