#coocooberry

We made it to the vet this afternoon. He advised us to let her go. And we did. There's so much I need to say, but all I can manage for now is that I am even more heart-broken than I ever thought possible. And also I want to say thank you to everyone who follows this blog. Everyone here who loves Maypop, and has followed her life over these beautiful three and a half years. Thank you for your kind words, support, and love.

Maypop is still with us. I decided to call the vet today. Im waiting to hear back. I feel so...flat.

I spoke to a friend of mine who has had three possums in the past. She said that Maypop's behavior and condition is normal for the end. They decline very quickly. She said it is basically hospice care from here onwards. That I should give her treats and "forbidden foods," but not push her regular food on her (I have been pushing hard for weeks, but Ive stopped now). She said that Maypop will not pass away in front of me. So while I should be giving her lots of cuddles and kisses and making her comfy, I should also give her time to be alone, to let her know that it is okay to go (this is so hard). She was up most of the night. I woke up a lot and kept finding her in odd places. I think she was looking for "the spot." I am incredibly sad. But I'm trying to hold it together, so that I can enjoy our last days.

On Thursday, Maypop could have been described as a healthy 70 year old. Slower than she once was, not as spry. Last night she woke up as a 95 year old. She can barely walk without her legs giving out on her. I will be calling the vet on Monday if they are open. But I think we are nearing the end. I've been crying a lot.

Somehow, I will survive today. If tomorrow is a given, I will wake up in the morning, and I will breathe in the morning air, and I will move about, and I will drink coffee, and get dressed, and watch the kittens play outside.  No matter what happens with Maypop today, I will survive it.  I keep thinking that I am the only person in the entire world who has ever gone through something like this. The only person to have ever had a beloved pet grow old and become ill. And I'm really not. People go through this every day, and they survive it.  And I will survive it too.