am i doing this right? (happy shavuot <3)

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am i doing this right? (happy shavuot <3)

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( Photo Id: black text highlighted green on a white background that reads, "But as much as I love practices like hitbodedut, meditation, and study, and as frustrating as I often find Jewish liturgy, it is important to me to say the same prayers that my grandmother said, and that her grandmother said, and that other Jews around the world are saying today. These prayers have traveled a journey over thousands of years, echoing through ancient stone Temples, teeming synagogues, and boisterous Shabbat tables; spoken under wedding canopies and over squirming babies, on deathbeds and during dark nights of the soul. And they have been the last words on the lips of many people who lost their lives because they refused to give up their right to utter them.
Even if these words do not always resonate with me today, I cannot deny that they are holy, sanctified by the joy, heartbreak, terror, sacrifice, and hope of the millions who have said them before me, and I do not feel that I can casually disregard them." /End ID)
Shabbat shalom and Hanukkah sameach!
attended my first shabbat service over zoom tonight, which is only the second i've seen done since the pandemic started (the other being one over youtube last week), and it hit me pretty hard. it's always very overwhelming in a good way and a relief and validating and all that good stuff, it's just also been intimidating to start again. it always is when it's something that matters
I’m shedding my religion based trauma in order to convert. My background has made religion and spirituality a touchy subject- something I felt I wasn’t allowed to explore. I know that conversion is something I want very deeply, and opening myself up to that-even though it frightens me and opens me up to uncomfortable emotions is really important. The community is there, and I’m ready to do it. Starting next year I’m going to start studying (not just on my own) and attending synagogue.

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a good friend posed the question "why did gd give you Torah?" and the answer i have right now (this answer should change) is so that i remember to question everything around me
he followed the question up with "what are you going to do with Torah?" and i think what i'm going to do with those questions is answer them and find a way to hate myself less
This will be the last thing in my conversion tag cuz I’ve converted, mothefuckers!!!!!
I'm.