Jul 7, 2016
I wish things were different.
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I wish things were different.
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Late night thoughts......
What if we didnt need sleep to survive? What would you do with all those extra hours? Would you use them to wisely? Would they be spent trying to repair something? Something that you want to be repaired no matter how long it takes? And i dont meen like a toy or a car, these things are materialistic...... I meen like a heart......... a soul........ a mind......... a relationship broken from your own doing........... These things are far more important than anything else in this life. These things define a person... These things make you who you are.... Some say that it is impossible to repair a broken heart.... This may be true.. But aslong as you try..... Thats all that really matters.....
I wonder if I will ever truly feel good enough for you.... or will I always just feel like you're settling for me?
Sometimes it scares me that it will always be that one person, that one person who is always on your mind even though you might not even be on there's.
What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore-- And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over-- like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags like a heavy load. Or does it explode?
Langston Hughes
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Most people don't realize how amazing I can be. And if they do, all they do is take advantage of it leaving me feeling like its just dwindling away bit by bit. They don't know that no matter how bad they treat me, I never stop caring. I keep coming back. I keep making sure they have their happiness, at risk of my own. Its a curse I feel like I will be forever stuck with, but I don't mind it because, well, its who I am. But I do get to a point where I wonder if I should just give up because nothing, in the end of it all, will really benefit me. And all this constant hoping will just leave me broken and feeling empty, no matter how well I hide it. I don't want to give up, I really don't. I wouldn't be me if I did. But maybe, I should just slow my roll, give them the chance to realize that I am worth it. And have them come running back, its never happened it before. So this is me not giving up, but giving things a chance to see if they are really worth fighting for.