#constant disappointment

^^^^

it feels sooo disappointing and transparent that rich white men absolve other rich white men [on social media]. it’s unfortunate how much power and influence they have. and it’s unfortunate that they display such half-heartedness to their large audiences....

like–– this year has been unlike any other. ya’ll really gonna go out on a limb to defend a tr*mp supporter? WHAT? when you’ve been doing so much work against his campaign?? WHAT?? you could have easily said nothing–– he doesn’t need protecting? the world doesn’t really know anything about your friendship, just that you’re coworkers on a major franchise–– YOU’RE GOING OUT ON A LIMB FOR A COWORKER????? girl i––

rich white men don’t need any extra defense, especially over this. especially over politics. jfc, look at how everyone is already like “i’m unstanning etc. and etc.” instead of expressing those feelings about chris pratt 

Feelings like tangled roots

Driving into my abdomen

I can't eat

I think in repetition

The same mistakes

Playing on the big screen

Looping scratches between

The failures and the fuck ups

And I watch

Eyes refusing to cry

Building pressure and driving

All these thoughts

Deeper

Swallow hard and forget

Stand tall and remember

You're only as good as your last table

These people are not your friends

Don't think anyone cares

Constant disappointment

I hear it all

I hear it and I push it behind one ear

Let the curls loosen

Wash it all off

And do it again

in heaven i won’t take meds

or get in trouble for self neglect

or accidents of memory

that torture of crossing

a room and two steps in losing

the destination or purpose

i am told there will be no reasons or needs

     and if so

these sorrows and redisappointments

will be converted like my burst heart

...meanwhile checking my email for interview invites every twenty seconds only to find it empty like

GUYSSSSS

For reference, here is the original teaser/spoiler, here are my original theories (Part 1), and here’s a longer rundown of the theories you guys sent me (Part 2).

The new information is from here:

Question: Any scoop on the upcoming Law & Order: SVU episode where the D.A.’s office is hacked? Any hint on what sort of secrets about Barba will be revealed? —LaShawna

Ausiello: Without spilling exactly what it is, I can say that a secret so big and career-threatening is in play that Barba can’t even turn to Benson for support. Instead, he’ll choose a course of action that is, arguably, quite ill-advised.

UMMMMMM.

Career-threatening?

That has to involve some type of wrong-doing. A work-related incident. Something Barba did that’s so wrong, he could lose his career over it. Or something he’s accused of, of course, or something he’s being framed for. Could a personal secret have consequences that harsh? I’m not sure. unless, like, he’s having an affair with the DA’s spouse and his ass is soooo getting fired if that comes out

And he can’t turn to Benson for support? Why the hell not? Because it would implicate her, maybe? Because Barba wants to protect her, and maintain her plausible deniability in case the information is actually leaked?

Which would mean that Barba is guilty of something? Or maybe just involved in something shady?

GUYS.

The ill-advised course of action, that’s less shocking for Rafael “Here’s My Home Address” Barba. I wonder what it’ll be this time.

Seriously though, I’m genuinely excited for once this season. I was worried the secret would be boring, but it seems to be juicy!

Oh, please note that I am completely disregarding theories that Barba’s secret is purely criminal in nature, and his career is in jeopardy because this “secret” would ruin his reputation and destroy his character. If he is guilty of something, in my mind, it’ll be either:

a) a somewhat shady deal, something sneaky Barba figured he could get away with, because he thinks he’s slick,

or

b) a passionate, poignant decision he made in a moment of crisis, to help someone else (or himself?), something is legally sketchy but morally sound mostly lol.