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yesterday, after months of considering conversion, i finally reached out to a local synagogue asking if I could visit and attend a service. today, i had a phone call with their cantor and tonight, iām attending a Torah class. who knows what tomorrow holds for me?
my heart feels warm and full and i wanted to share.
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Hello! So, I recently found out I have Jewish ancestry on my mother's side. It was a shock to me. My family hides so much from me, especially since many of them are Irish Catholic/Christian, and don't want to acknowledge the other nationalities that are in my family. (Like my father having native american blood and believing in that, and now my Jewish family and ancestory) I don't even know where to begin. I just want to learn more, and from the right people.
I don't know if this is important but - I am white, I am LGBT (transmasc nb and bisexual), and as of now I don't practice any religion. But, I might try to convert, since my partner is Jewish and I have been looking more into Judaism.
Again, I just need to know anything and everything. I desperately want to know more and have no idea where to begin.
Have a good day or night <3
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I'm converting as soon as I possibly can. As soon as I possibly can is in about two years, because there isn't a single temple or Rabbi in my current city. I've always felt a real connection to Judaism, and I have some very distant Jewish heritage. My problem is that I feel this very deep connection, but I'm not *Jewish* yet. My questions are a) how should I describe my religion to people? b) to what extent am I allowed to feel connected and proud to/of Judaism? c) how should I express this?
Hi anon,
These are great questions! Iāll answer them as you laid them out. :)
a) How should I describe my religion to people?Ā
Haha! Isnāt that the million dollar question?Ā
Seriously, this can be tricky for converts-in-progress and people exploring the concept of converting. While thereās no perfect one-size-fits-all answer for all people in all circumstances, my personal advice would be to think about how much youāre comfortable sharing with [whoever it is that asks] and tailoring your response accordingly.Ā
If itās someone you think you can That Conversation with and/or are interested in discussing it with, you could just be honest and sayĀ āI was raised as [x], but am currently exploring conversion to Judaism.ā If itās someone youāre more reserved around, or you donāt want to discuss this with anyone just yet, your best bet is to probably say,Ā āI was raised as [x],ā and leave it at that. This gives your background, but doesnāt invite further conversation. You also donāt have to tell anyone anything, and just say that itās complicated and/or none of their business. Religion can be a very personal topic, and most people will get it if you donāt want to talk about it.Ā
b)Ā To what extent am I allowed to feel connected to/proud of Judaism?Ā
Okay, so different people may draw different lines on this one, but for me, I think that since the feeling part is all internal, just let yourself feel what you feel about it! Building a deep, emotional connection to the Jewish people and developing pride in Jewish identity is an important part of the conversion process, and since itās a primarily psychological process, I donāt see the harm in starting it early.Ā
However, this leads to the final part of your question, which isā¦ā¦
c) How should I express this?Ā
[I assume you mean the feelings from part b.]
I think until youāre in a place where you can actually start the conversion process, itās best to limit your expression of this to support and good allyship for Jewish people. Educate yourself on Jewish issues, start learning about Judaism, and do a lot of listening and learning from Jewish people. If/when you are in situations where it would be helpful to stand up for Jewish people or to respond as a gentile against antisemitism, do so! Once youāve done enough reading on Jewish issues and have a solid understanding of Judaism and Jewish culture, speak up and educate your non-Jewish friends and family if they say or do ill-informed or antisemitic things.Ā And, of course, when you do start converting, you can personalize a lot more of that pride and begin to integrate it into your sense of self.Ā
I hope that helps you in your exploration, and I wish you all the best!
Do ppl in ur Jewish community use ur pronouns? (Do u use they/them in public?) I want to convert/am debating conversion for the future but I wanna know if I could be seen as nonbinary and use they/them pronouns in a Jewish community and have my pronouns respected. (Sorry if this is out of line? Ur the only nonbinary Jewish person/conversion student I follow)
Hi anon!
Yep, Iām outas non-binary at shul! Everyoneās been really great about it, and the rabbi hasgone out of his way to make sure that Iām being treated with respect. Iām alsonot the first trans person to be a member of our congregation, and one of myfriends and fellow conversion student is also nb, so itās really, really not abig deal. Itās definitely worth noting that the synagogue I attend isReform-affiliated even though it serves the broader liberal Jewish community inour area (weāre the only one for miles) so we get a lot of moretraditional/Conservative liberal Jews in as well. I also live in a prettyliberal college town, so thereās that, too.
I will say that wrt pronouns ā as with allprimarily cis spaces ā there are people who do a pretty good job with it andpeople who try but just kinda fail. Iām also not very assertive about using they/them,although that is what I tell people when asked. (I havenāt bothered toget into the whole fancy ze/zir thing, but I would feel totally safe doing soif asked.) Anyway my point is that while your mileage may vary, you really should be able to find a welcoming and supportive community.
And no worries about asking! Iām always happy to answer sincere questions from anyone. :) If youād like suggestions for other non-binary Jewish folks &/or conversion students to follow, let me know - there are a ton of great people on jumblr that Iād be happy to recommend!
I hope this isnāt too complicated but: Is feeling a sense of belonging, support, morality, and fulfillment, along with an appreciation for the freedom to ask questions and struggle with the meaning of the text, an accepted reason to convert; even if your faith in God waivers constantly and you wouldnāt be able to follow every practice without hindering or hurting another important part of your identity?
Mod here. Respondents, please consider including any FORs (community, experience) that you think might be relevant.
In response to āfollow every practice without hindering or hurting another important part of your identityā: Weāve had some asks here about Judaism and paganism, and from those responses, I think itās fair to say that (from the view of the ask-jumblr community) not everything is compatible with Judaism. At the same time, halachic authorities have made lots of space for medical needs that anon might see asĀ āwouldnāt be able to follow every practice.ā Stances on LGBTQ practice and the practicality of converting for folks with various identities vary from community-to-community. I could keep listing; we canāt be sure what anon is talking about. Iāll let folks work respond to the rest of the ask.
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Goy here. The more I learn about Jewish faith, the more I see places that my spiritual beliefs match or are really similar. But I have a really complicated relationship with G-d and religion, so I'm not 100% sure on converting. Is it ok for me to reach out to a rabbi anyway?
Super ignorant question, but oh well. I was raised atheist but i've been considering conversion to judaism. Would it be okay to pray to God even if i haven't even started conversion or even fully decided? I really don't know how prayer works because, atheist parents. I kinda want to wrap my head around it, i guess? See how it's like?
Hi! I was raised in a Christian household for most of my life (although as Iāve grown, my family and I go to church far less) Iāve felt I was agnostic for a long time, but now Iām not so sure. Part of me thinks I might lean towards Judaism, and Iām starting to look for synagogues in my area, but does anyone have any book recommendations to help me see if this is the right fit for me? (Thanks so much in advance!!!)
