#connoah

Thinking about the things Horror!Connor said to Noah before anyone knew he was a horror. Thinking about how over the past year Noah had well and truly come to believe that this was the only person to see the good in him other than Devon (who was currently a ghost and the person he "murdered" so he doesn't really count). thinking about how even though he got his boyfriend killed, Connor had come to love him anyway. He really, really came to believe over many months of convincing that Connor loved him 

and then,,,, they revived Devon, and everything was fine for about 2 days. And then Devon woke up, and connor was acting weird, and then everything Connor had previously tried to convince him of came crashing down when Connor started lashing out at him, telling him he had murdered devon, that it was his fault. he didn't even- he didn't even know what to do, what to think 

he didn't even get time to process it anyway, because 3 hours laters he's staring at connor chained to a chair in the basement, practically frothing at the mouth, skin pale and veiny, and his eyes no longer that grey-blue shade he loved so much, instead a sickly bright cyan that pierced straight through his soul. All he could do was grip Devon's hand tightly, as they both vowed to save Connor

Noah loves Connor, so, so much. he didn't think he could love anyone as much as Devon, but here he was, after realising that connor does actually blame him for Devons death (<- he doesn't, but Noah is unreliable narrator of the year <33) and still doing everything in his power to save him 

Hey, he owed him that much, didn't he?

–

Connor remembers it

his descent into being a horror was weirdly slow, and no one ever really figured out why. but he could remember hearing thoughts that weren't his- violent thoughts, thoughts that scared him

he brushed them off though, they had enough to worry about, and he figured this was just his way of processing his moms death

 by the time he realises, it's too late to stop. he hates it, can't stand the voices invading his mind. he tries to fight it, he really does, but before he knows it, his mouth and throat are working together to curse Noah out against his will, telling noah the opposite of what he's been trying to convince Noah of for months, undoing all love he's tried to give to noah, that he's only just recently managed to convince he was deserving of

he wants to cry, except he can't, as the power takes over. and like before, he can only watch as he threatens not only his friends, but the two people he loves most in the world

 and then things get hazy. And then he's so angry. He's so angry that he finally manages to break the chains binding him. He sees Noah, registering the pure fear on his face, and laughs at it. but Noah was not his priority. He wanted the bastard that killed his mother, and he got him. 

found him, eventually, he's not really sure where, nor does he really care. He ripped his heart out, threw it against whatever wall was nearby (a cave? when did he get in a cave??), and then– 

he could sense them. his sweethearts. the ones he promised an cruel and painful death 

he raised his head, trying to find them with his eyes first. but his vision was hazy too, bathing everything in anger and hate and blood, and then... noah was there 

he didn't really register him at first. didn't register much of anything except kill kill kill- but he recognised that- that voice. 

that voice that spoke so softly, so gently to him, like.... when they cooked together, and noah was trying to teach him how cut vegetables correctly without chopping his own fingers off, or like when they were rewatching some shitty horror movie for the 5 time that week, making fun of the terrible cgi and stupid character 

and then his hands appeared. soft, barely calloused from handling weapons, long, bony fingers. raised in a gesture of peace and surrender. he liked holding them, he remembered. he likes rubbing his thumbs over his knuckles to calm him down, and liked when they linked their pinkies together, with burning ears and cheeks, avoiding each other's gaze and then giggling about it like idiots 

and then... through the haze, he could make out a face. Noah's face. the face that he's woken up to for the past 3 months, kissed even longer than that, and pined for even longer than that. the face that scrunches adorably no matter when he's in. the face that- that he loves and holds and hes doesnt want to hurt

and the noah must see his rage filled expression softening out into confusion despite the darkness of the cave, calls out his name worriedly, and rushes to catch him as rowans powers finally cleanse him 

he doesnt think about the things he's done, he’ll save that crisis for a later date. Instead, he only looks up at Noah with tired, wet eyes.