#connect!

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

♫ i cant handle change ; roar

♫ fool ; cavetown

"it's nearly twelve. is yuki not back yet?" asked jay as he looked at his apple watch which displayed the time.

"i don't think so. her room is still dark," noted niki with a yawn. the members were slowly heading off to their room to sleep. all except jay, niki, and jake who were in the living room watching a television show.

it was the second night that yuki's presence was absent during the night. the second night starting from the day she received harsh criticism from the instructor. the seven boys weren't dumb. they knew that something in her changed. she become more closed off (if that was possible) and was practicing even harder. her passion to get better was clearly evident.

"you guys can head to bed first. i'll wait for her," hummed jake, sitting comfortably on the couch. jay and niki exchanged glances but nevertheless, they listened to the boy.

at a separate building, yuki was done running through the dance for what seemed like the fourteenth time of the night. she panted as she sat down on the floor before reaching out and drinking her water. she needed to practice even more. she needed to practice until she could be on the same level as the rest of her members.

being the only female in hybe, yuki had to train with the rest of the male trainees. as obviously they didn't have enough female trainees or staff to train yuki by herself. it would've been a waste of money too. until they had enough female trainees, they could then properly separate female and male trainees. throughout her trainee years, yuki found it hard to dance the way the males did. having different anatomies, the way she would dance would differ from them. but that's what made her stand out. she could dance with more grace than they ever could.

yuki felt like she was in the dark during her trainee years. being the only female from her male trainees, it was harder for her to fit in with the crowd. she did of course occasionally had a few friends here and there but the feeling of isolation still remained there. that's why she questioned her existence at the hybe label for years. she wanted to move to a different agency but somehow, she was always drawn back to stay at hybe. there was just...something about hybe that made her want to stay.

but now, she would be debuting as the only female in a male group. she couldn't believe the news when si hyuk first told her about it. it was a crazy idea.but, yuki couldn't give up the opportunity to debut when it was given to her.

shaking off her thoughts yuki stood up from her spot and gathered her things.

yuki arrived at her dorm, quietly unlocking the door and taking out her sneakers, and laying them neatly on the floor. the dorm was dark and just like always, she knew that her members were asleep. however to her surprise, she saw a brown-haired male laying on the couch with the television turned on to its lowest volume.

she quietly walked over to him, perplexed that he was deep asleep. he was sleeping peacefully, a hand on his chest holding onto the television remote. the female gently removed his grasp on the remote and turned off the television. knowing she was too weak to carry him back into his room she sighed before entering her room to grab something.

she placed the blanket over his body, ensuring that he wouldn't be cold when he was asleep. she whispered a good night to him before heading over to her own room.

for the next few nights, it was a norm for yuki to see jake sleeping on the couch. she always wondered why he was sleeping on the couch instead of in the room, where it was much more comfortable.

that night yuki entered the dorm expecting jake to be asleep once again, however, to her surprise, he was awake (barely), nearly dozing off on the couch with his head bent in an awkward position. yuki had to stifle her laughter.

she walked over to jake, shaking his shoulder gently which made him wake up from his near slumber.

"oh um what yeah hi," he mumbled, rubbing his lids with his hands.

"jake, shouldn't you be sleeping in your room?" questioned yuki quietly.

"well uh i've been kind of waiting for you to come back from training for the past few nights but i always fell asleep," jake sheepishly admitted, making yuki taken aback. there was a ghost of a smile on her pink lips.

"thank you for waiting for me," she thanked the male, taking a seat beside him on the plump couch. she let out a small sigh of relief at the feeling.

"it's no problem. but you should stop coming back from practice so late," yawned jake, his eyelids growing heavy and his vision blurring. yuki didn't say anything in return, staring at her lap.

yuki felt a weight on her shoulder, startling her from her busy thoughts. she felt his soft brown hair poking her neck, his breath slow and steady.

"jake?" she whispered. but to no avail did he respond. he was dead asleep.

"good night," with a yawn yuki found herself falling asleep, her own head unconsciously resting on top of his.

"once again everyone, the group dynamics, and energy... why has it not improved since last week?" questioned the instructor, disappointment lacing into his words. the room went silent. the sound of a pin drop could be heard.

"yuki has improved her dancing but what's the point of individual improvement if your group synchronization and dynamics won't?" the instructor rubbed his forehead, "individually, you all are great dancers but as a group, it's very awkward and incomplete."

before the instructor left the room he looked at the males, "whatever situation you have with yuki, fix it." with that, he left.

a bit after he had left, yuki walked through the corridors, returning from the water fountain. she rubbed her sweaty palms against her shorts, about to reach for the doorknob until she heard the conversation going on inside the practice room.

"don't you think yuki is greatly affecting our group dynamics and synchronization?" she identified the voice as jungwon, their leader.

"well...she does dance a bit differently than us but i think it's alright," sunghoon responded to his question.

"yeah, she's been practicing really hard over the past few days," acknowledged niki.

"but no matter how much she practices- or even us, we'll still perform 'awkwardly' and 'incomplete'," heeseung paused, "i think it's because our friendship with yuki hasn't progressed at all,"

there were noises of agreement from everyone.

"like jake mentioned before, she has the opportunity to drop out of the group anytime soon but why hasn't she?" queried jungwon out loud. jay and jake exchanged glances. at his statement, yuki was taken aback, dropping her water bottle onto the ground. the loud noise made all the boys turn their heads towards the door where the said female was standing.

"yuki-" gasped jake.

"i'm sorry for making so many mistakes and being so awkward with you all. i'm so sorry that i-"

jungwon harshly cut off her words, "stop apologizing yuki. if our debut doesn't go smoothly, you should really consider dropping out of the group. you won't be forgiven easily if you mess things up,"

yuki opened her mouth to speak but closed it tightly. for a moment there, jungwon felt guilty as he watched yuki's expression change. the sound of the air con was pronounced in the silence of the room. no one in the room moved and not a sound from any of them was made.

"actually i was considering dropping out anyways," she lied. her voice was soft, almost fragile as if she would cry at any minute. feeling like she would break down any second, she hurriedly grabbed her bag inside the dance studio, ignoring jake and jay who were calling her name. she exited a room without a second glance at them, already feeling a tear escaping from her eye.

"jungwon, i think you went too far."

it was already turning dark. yuki didn't know how long she had been roaming around the hybe building and to her surprise, it was a lot bigger than she thought it was. she didn't know where she was going nor did she have a plan. she just needed to be away from them and alone. she found herself at the rooftop of the building. yuki sat against the wall, knees curled up against her chest, brown eyes gazing at the sky.

the night was deep. the silvery moon contrasted against the dark blue night sky with shimmering sparkling dots of light twinkling to say hello to the girl. sounds of loud chatters and music from restaurants could be heard. the night wind breezed against the girl, tousling strands of her blonde hair.

she leaned her head against the wall as she recalled the events that happened.

'you should really consider dropping out of the group.'

jungwon's words that kept repeating in her head had stung her deeply.

there was truth to what the instructor and her fellow members had said. as a group, they were awkward. yuki blamed herself largely for the reason why her friendship with her members was growing slowly. it had been a month since they met and their friendship had not progressed at all. perhaps it was because yuki thought to herself that she knew she would never be able to fit in with them. she often imagined what it would be like if they debuted without her. it would've been perfect.

yuki hated herself for not trying harder to befriend them. but for her it was hard. especially since they all seemed so well off without her, resulting in her sitting out in conversations and only nodding or saying a few words at a time. she felt like she could never fit in. and she wished so hard that she could do so.

but sometimes, no matter how much effort you put into something, it won't turn out the way you want it to be.

yuki had never felt so alone ever since the middle of her trainee years. with having to live further from her family, losing contact with her close friends, and practically not having a lot of friends in hybe and distancing from her closest friends who were in hybe, she was alone. she hated feeling so lonely. and as time went on, her loneliness felt more like solitude.

there were nights when yuki drowned herself in thoughts that kept her awake. nights where her loneliness would take hold of her. all she could do in those dark hours was cry. plead for someone to take away her loneliness. with every moment of isolation, her anxiety deepened. it threatened to swallow her whole. but with frequent visits to psychologists and anxiety pills, it made it a bit easier for her to live her life.

yuki didn't know when she started crying.

a flood of salty tears gushed down her milky cheeks. she wiped her eyes but they kept falling down anyways. realizing that she wouldn't stop crying, yuki let herself cry.

her heart was heavy with dread, shame, loneliness, and sadness. her tears fell onto her knees, rolling down her skin as they continued to fall like the rain. a sob escaped from her trembling lips. there was a tightening around her throat and it felt like it was harder to breathe.

she recognized this feeling all too well.

her chest started heaving up and down faster than it did before and it was harder for her to think. sobs escaped her lips one after the other and it felt like the whole neighborhood could hear her crying. in the midst of her panic attack, she could hardly hear the sound of the door pushing open, alongside her name being called by someone.

"yuki? yuki!" the male sprinted to her figure, kneeling down in front of her. he peeled her fingers off her face, revealing her slightly swollen eyes and her tear-stained cheek. his heart cracked at the sight of her crying. he hated seeing her in this state. in her weak and fragile state. without a second thought, he brought her into his embrace. one of his hands was on her head while the other was on the small of her back, rubbing it up and down in an attempt to calm her.

"im here now yuki. you're not alone," he spoke with such gentleness to her as if she were a child, "remember your breathing exercises. breathe with me yuki."

with the familiarity of his voice, yuki knew who it was. she followed his breathing as steady as she could. her once loud sobs had quietly died down to quiet whimpers and the tears that escaped from her eyes took a pause. his slim fingers brushed her hair. once he could feel that her breath was steady he slowly moved himself away from the female.

"yuki, tell me what's wrong," he asked with worry glazing in his eyes.

"i...feel so alone," her voice was still cracked and in her throat, "i told them i would drop out of enhypen," she could feel the tears in her eyes gather once again, threatening to drop.

"tell me what happened. truthfully,"

and so, yuki did. she told him about how she felt so alone during her trainee years, how she felt like she was an outcast amongst them, their awkward friendship, and how she felt like she wasn't good enough to debut with them. and while she did, he listened itently, rubbing circles on her palm.

"im so sorry you had to go through that yuki. no one deserves to feel like an outcast. i know you tried your hardest. your efforts were not wasted," he rolled his sweater past his elbows, doing a threatening pose, "should i go to your dorms and teach them a lesson?"

this earned an airy chuckle from yuki, "don't. i don't think it would be very sunbae of you to do so,"

the male rolled down his sleeve, his head turning to face yuki. he stared at her with earnestness and sincerity, "yuki, you're a great trainee and an even greater person. you're so talented. so fucking talented. imagine being the only female trainee in hybe. you're a fucking legend yuki! you're so good at singing, dancing, and rapping. heck, you could even take my spot in my group if si hyuk-nim allows it. i wish you could see how talented you are. i know it's hard to befriend people. boys specifically. but as long as they don't put in their efforts, both parties won't go anywhere. i don't want you to give up. but if it's hurting you this much, as a friend, i don't want you to go on with them."

yuki felt like crying for the third time of the day. she was moved by his sincerity. she knew that he was the type of person who would never fail to comfort her. but if it wasn't for the way he was staring at her and holding her hand and how fast her heart was racing, she definitely would've cried. without a word, she wrapped her arms around his body, pulling him into a hug.

"i can't thank you enough beomgyu."

"you don't need to thank me stupid. i'd do this for you any day," he snorted, patting the top of her head.

"how did you find me anyway?" the two broke their shared embrace.

beomgyu tapped his chin, "psychic powers?" yuki squinted her eyes at him, "okay fine i happened to see you run to the staircase and god you're a fast runner. you might as well train to become the second usain bolt instead,"

a laugh escaped yuki's lips. her laugh was one of beomgyu's favorite things about her. even when she would mock him, her laughter was full of warmth and life. he found himself smiling, glad that he was able to make her laugh.

"oh god...where do i go for the night? i can't face them after all that. has happened," yuki's laughter died down, realizing that she really had nowhere to go for the night.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙  

riki nisihimura. that is the name of ENHYPEN'S youngest member (preferably called niki). being the only full foreigner on the team, there were a lot of things he had to sacrifice in order to be where he was today. he had to sacrifice his childhood in exchange for his trainee years. he had to move away from his dear and beloved family.

the boy was at the ripe age of fifteen, holding the title of maknae in his group. there existed instances where he felt alone. he had trouble from time to time understanding the korean language. well... he wasn't to blame. he wasn't native to the country so he couldn't be 100% fluent in the language. he was extremely grateful to his members for helping him learn the language, teaching him to understand it better. he was even more grateful to his fellow member's jay and yuki for speaking to him in japanese, making him a bit more comfortable.

there were times when niki thought about the life he had back in japan. he often thought about how his life would've been if he had never come to korea and debuted in ENHYPEN. he would be with his family, continuing school, and probably retained healthy hair. but he was happy with his choice. he finally got to pursue his dreams.

or was he happy?

niki was often conflicted with his own emotions. sometimes his homesickness would get the best of him. the poor fifteen-year-old boy was stranded away from his family and so he would put up a facade, pretending that moving to korea was the best decision he ever made. niki missed his family so bad. he didn't know when the next time he would see them be. well, if he was ever able to again.

a single tear rolled down his cheek. the more he wiped them away, the more they kept coming down. he sniffled as he curled himself under the blanket, thankful that he was the only one in the room at the moment. he hated for the members to see him in his vulnerable state.

niki thought about his family and how much he wanted to be with them so bad.

in the midst of his cry, he heard a faint voice, "niki? niki?"

niki remained under his blanket, biting his lip to refrain any sobs from escaping. he quietly waited under his blanket, hoping that they wouldn't approach him.

"niki, i know you're under the blanket,"

niki slowly peeled the blanket away from his face, quickly wiping away his tears in a harsh manner before he got up, his head facing downwards.

"hey, what's wrong?" he felt a hand gently placed on his shoulder, urging him to look up. the female in front of him stared at him with concern and worry, gaze gentle.

niki felt the walls of his throat constrict. almost as if he was struggling to swallow down all the painful emotions he was feeling. niki sighed heavily, letting his head drop once more. yuki wrapped her arms around his back, pulling him into her embrace.

niki found himself crying on her shoulder. his sobs weren't loud but fairly quiet. but his sobs carried heavy emotions in them. he had been keeping his emotions in for so long.

"i'm right here. it's okay," she whispered in their native language. her graceful fingers caressed his head slowly. niki found comfort in her hug, reminding him of the time he was comforted by his own mother.

once his sobs had quietened down, yuki pulled away from him, placing a hand on his shoulder, "would you like to tell me what's on your mind?"

niki hesitated for a moment but he nodded his head. before he could speak, he was cut off,

"but first, lay here," yuki comfortably laid down on his single bed and patted the space next to her.

"w-where?" he questioned, tilting his head in slight confusion.

"next to me you idiot," stuttered yuki in embarrassment, looking away to hide her tinted cheeks.

warmth spread on niki's cheeks as he finally understood yuki's words . he was reluctant at first but gave in. he squeezed himself on the single bed, squirming beside yuki. there was barely space in between their heads as their hairs mangled together. with just the slightest movement, niki could feel yuki's hand.

"okay, you can tell me what's on your mind now," yuki cleared her throat.

"i....i feel homesick," sniffled niki. yuki remained quiet, allowing niki to continue

"sometimes i wonder what it would've been like if i stayed in japan instead of moving here. but if i did, i wouldn't have been able to debut in ENHYPEN and meet you all. i haven't seen my family in a year and i miss them a lot. i wish i could see them right now," niki took a pause in his words, allowing himself to calm down for a bit before continuing, "i don't know when will be the next time i could see them...sometimes i ask myself if i am doing the right thing?"

"i understand you niki. i miss my family too. especially my cat. it's alright to feel homesick. we all feel homesick a little sometimes. i know that you will be able to see your family soon. they miss you as much as you miss them," her head turned to face niki who was staring above,  "i think that you're doing the right thing. you always wanted to become a kpop idol right? well now, you're pursuing your dreams. there's so much in store for you in the future. you're so talented and so young. i know your parents are happy with the decision you made. you have to continue making them proud,"

yuki's words had made him calm down. all his negative thoughts seemed to have flown out the window by just the little words she had said. they meant a lot to him. niki couldn't remember when was the last time he was properly comforted.

niki's hands rested on top of yuki's palm, giving it a small squeeze(which was quite a bold move for a fifteen-year-old if i do say so myself).

he turned his head, "thank you yuki,"

their noses were barely inches away. at the close proximity, the two immediately turned their heads to the other side, suddenly feeling shy. this had made niki's heart race (how unfortunate for the boy since he had just calmed down).

"oh um, it's no problem," yuki cleared her throat for the second time of the day, her eyes wandering around the room. she didn't want to recall how beautiful his brown eyes were up close. the glossiness from when he was crying made them even prettier. there was a sort of depth in his eyes that made her intrigued. she shook her thoughts away.

the two remained silent, too busy in their own thoughts.

there was such warmth that radiated from yuki. it was exactly what niki needed at this moment. being with her made him feel calm. he felt like he truly could be himself around her. though at times she was hard to read, that was what made her interesting. those were the last thoughts he had in his head before he drifted off into sleep was how grateful he was for her.

at the stillness of the room, yuki whispered "niki?"

she turned her head, a small smile making its way onto her lips as she saw the younger male. his lids were closed and he was breathing slow but evenly. his lips were slightly parted, quiet snores coming out from his mouth.

yuki was about to get up from the bunk bed before she felt his hand grip hers. she was startled at the sudden contact.

"stay," she looked back at the japanese boy who was still resting on the bed peacefully, eyelids still closed. yuki groaned before she fell back onto the bed.

"maybe a five-minute nap won't be so bad," she yawned, eyelids slowly dropping.

niki woke up about an hour later, letting out a yawn. there was an uncomfortably heavy feeling on his shoulder and arm. not wanting to move his head, niki glanced at yuki's sleeping figure beside him. her head was snuggled beside his neck. he could feel her breathing against his neck. he stared at her sleeping face, taking every detail of her facial feature. his breath hitched at the sight of her exposed collarbone due to the very oversized cardigan she was wearing. he let out a small shout, accidentally pushing yuki off his single bed.

yuki yelped at the sudden contact between her and the wooden floor which instantly woken her up. she groggily got up on her two feet, furrowing her brows at the younger male.

"i can't believe you just pushed me off the bed!" she exclaimed, adjusting her oversized top.

"s-sorry i didn't mean to do that," niki frantically apologized, hoping that yuki didn't take note of how red his ears were.

the sound of their dorm room opening along with chatters of loud males made them divert their attention.

"niki you idiot. if you ever need to talk to someone im here," she murmured (it sounded more like a threat to him). and with that the young female stormed out of their room, rubbing her sore arm.

"what's up with yuki?" queried jay who had just entered the room, removing his jacket while doing so.

"im not sure,"

jay raised his brows, watching the boy bite back a smile as he hid his face in the pillow.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙  

"don't you guys think yuki is a great model?" the camera panned to sunoo who was watching yuki pose for their photoshoot like a proud mother.

"she is. she's really good at using her facial expressions," sunghoon added, giving a thumbs up to the camera.

the camera then turned to yuki who was currently having her solo photoshoot for the album. indeed like sunghoon mentioned, she was really good at using her facial expressions. the way she gazed at the camera and played around with her hair was so...enthralling.

(the camera then cuts to sunghoon and sunoo just staring at yuki. for like three minutes straight).

yuki stood in between niki and jake, all of them getting ready with their poses until the sound of the fog machine turned on, startling the trio.

"don't mind the fog, just keep your attention to the camera," said the director, making the members focus back on the camera.

yuki however, couldn't stop coughing from the fog, along with jake, her eyes too were getting dry.

"oh-my-god im so sorry," she spoke in between coughs, covering her hand with her mouth.

niki glanced at her worriedly, "are you okay? do you need water?"

"yeah im fine. i just hope he didn't take any photos of me mid cough,"

the seven members of enhypen were in the dance studio, gathered around the table in the middle of the room. on the said table were a cake and party decorations.

"sunoo, i can feel your hair against my neck, move!" whined the female. she was decorating the vanilla cake using a chocolate pen the bakery had given them. according to everyone in the room, she had the neatest handwriting.

"eek sorry!" he sheepishly apologized taking a step back and fixing his party hat.

once done decorating the cake with little hearts and smiley faces and a birthday message, yuki took a step back, satisfied. she placed her hands on her hips, watching as niki and jay placed candles on the decorated cake.

"i hope heeseung doesn't drop the cake like last time," chortled sunghoon who was goofing around with jake, doodling on heeseung's birthday hat.

"i'll still eat it anyways," grinned yuki, reminiscing when they planned a birthday surprise on heeseung's birthday. to their dismay, the cake toppled over the cake box (which was a somewhat weird occurrence in the industry). nevertheless, that didn't stop the members, specifically yuki, from eating the cake. although she did get a stomach ache the next day.

"heeseung's coming, quick everyone in positions!" whispered jungwon, switching off the lights.

the seven members shared a few giggles, standing in their dark with party hats on their heads. the sounds of heeseung's footsteps grew louder and once he stepped into the room,

"happy birthday to you,

happy birthday to you~

happy birthday to heeseung,

happy birthday to you~"

the members guided heeseung to the middle of the table, niki helping heeseung with wearing his party hat. a smile was plastered onto the eldest face. he definitely knew that this surprise was coming (but being the person he was he acted like he couldn't hear them arguing about the party hats from the bathroom).

the eight figures were sat around the campfire, just finished eating their dessert which was roasted marshmallows. the warm fire from the wood was just what they needed to warm themselves from the cold temperature of the night.

yuki was sat in between niki and sunghoon, her black puffer being two sizes way too big for her. but she didn't mind it, she was freezing cold.

"remember the letters you wrote earlier? we'll be reading them out loud now," stated the director as the staff handed them the letters they had written in their spare time.

the youngest member, niki, read his letter out loud first.  yuki was astonished as to how much he grew in such a short time. his korean improved well too. she watched him with endearment as he read his letter.

"good job niki," she smiled to him, giving a thumbs up in which he returned.

after all the members had recited their letters, finally, it was yuki's turn. everyone had their focus on yuki, making her slightly nervous.

"don't...look at me like that please," she stuttered, tearing her gaze away from her members and directing it to the letter she wrote. the female cleared her throat.

"to, the members of enhypen. i know that we all came across a rocky start in the beginning but i think that if that never happened, we wouldn't be the way we are today. i am very grateful that i am able to debut and befriend you all. i have learned so much from everyone so i'd firstly like to say thank you. during the times where i feel alone, i remember that you guys always have my back. to jay and jake, thank you for putting up with my corny english jokes. heeseung, please stop hogging all the ramen from our pantry. sunghoon, thank you for always being patient with me. sunoo, i hope we can continue having our weekly facials together. to our youngest niki, i can't wait to watch you grow. and to jungwon, thank you for everything you've done for our group," yuki paused from her speech, chuckling a bit that they were listening to yuki so intently, "i hope that we can continue to grow as a group. there are many things out there for us. it may be too early to say i love you but um i appreciate you all,"

"yuki, you're going to make me cry," jake joked, resting back into his chair and clutching his chest.

"i think jungwon's actually crying now," pointed out heeseung, the members turning to face their leader.

jungwon sniffled, fanning the air, "it's the smoke i swear!"

"we will protect our princess no matter what," jay smoothly said, sending a wink to the younger female who snorted in response.

"wait yuki so you don't love us?" gasped sunoo dramatically, a pout forming on his lips.

"w-what no? i didn't say i didn't," the female stuttered, waving her hands in the air in denial.

"so you do love us?" sunghoon raised his brow.

the female's cheeks grew pink, "u-um no? but yes? i don't know how to say it...i...um" yuki turned her head away, huffing, "you guys are annoying."

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

yuki was the first one to wake up the next day, an hour just after the sunrise. she groggily rose up from her bed, briefly checking the time on her phone before she did her usual skincare and dressed in simple and comfortable clothing.

after checking the refrigerator and pantries, to her dismay, there was barely anything (asides from the ramen the staff bought them). she sighed and dialed her manager, ensuring permission that she could go grocery shopping. and with a yes, yuki headed out for a mini grocery trip.

once she returned back to the dorms, she placed the grocery bags on the kitchen aisle and organized the groceries into the fridge and pantries. with her own money, she wasn't able to buy much. but it was enough for a week (hopefully). she got the pans ready and started cooking breakfast for herself and her groupmates.

at the savory smell of meat and the sound of plates clanking against the marble table, jay was the first to wake up amongst the males. with his hair disheveled, he exited his room, rubbing his eyes. he was greeted with the sight of yuki carefully plating slices of bacon on top of the scrambled eggs with intense concentration.

"good morning," jay groggily greeted, making yuki topple the bacon in surprise. she stared at the male in front of her.

"g-good morning," she greeted back, wiping her hands on the apron she brought herself, "i-uh, cooked breakfast for everyone. please eat well!"

"thank you,"

was what yuki last heard before she scrambled back into her room.

over the past few weeks, it was a norm for yuki to cook them breakfast. though the members felt guilty that she had to cook all by herself in the morning yuki didn't mind it. she loved the peace she had in the morning. cooking was therapeutic for her and she definitely did not want to have any awkward interactions with her fellow members.

asides cooking breakfast, her relationship with her fellow groupmates ceased to grow. perhaps it was because of yuki's introverted self or maybe the lack of will to develop a friendship with her groupmates that ceased their friendship to grow. but it was evident that there was a gap between her and the seven males. although yuki couldn't blame them though. after all, they had been friends during their trainee years and competed in the same survival show which strengthened their friendship and knowledge about one another.

yuki felt like an outcast.

it was easy for the males to have conversations amongst one another. and they do bring up yuki a few times or so but that was it. during their album photoshoots, yuki practically forced herself to act like she was close friends with them when they weren't. as long as she kept acting, the fans wouldn't know, would they?

the female didn't know what to do. she couldn't bring up a conversation to talk about without overthinking about it and having someone else cut her off. and she most certainly didn't want to force a friendship with them. but if she didn't do something, the gap between her and her members would continue to grow.

it was on a friday night where yuki overheard the conversations of her fellow members.

"do you guys think yuki hates us?" she heard niki ask suddenly. at the mention of her name, yuki furrowed her brows and leaned against her door to hear better.

"i think hate is a strong word...she doesn't seem like the type of person to hate someone," sunghoon cautiously answered.

"but doesn't it feel weird?"

there was a silence at jungwon's question.

"weird as in us and her. it seems like she doesn't really want to get to know us. and vice versa. if our relationship with yuki is this awkward, our group dynamics will fall apart," he continued. there was truth in his words.

"even in our dance practices, she doesn't seem to have the same chemistry as we do," added heeseung.

"i seriously wonder what si hyuk-nim was thinking." sighed jungwon and yuki could tell the disappointment evident in his tone.

"yuki's trying her best. let's just try and get to know her a bit yeah? and not be too harsh on her," she identified this voice as jay. she felt grateful that he had spoken up for her.

"i agree. and furthermore, remember the terms si hyuk-nim had stated for her? he said that if she didn't want to continue anymore, they would pull her out of the team." jake acknowledged.

"is he....implying for me to drop out of the group?" thought yuki to herself.

that night, yuki couldn't sleep.

the male let out a yawn as his fingers brushed his tangled dark hair. it was currently very early in the morning. so early that the sun wasn't even awake yet. the sound of his slippers was the only thing he could hear as he walked towards the kitchen.

once there, he was greeted with a lock of dark hair on the table making him shout in surprise (and terror). at the sound, the figure rose her head from the table, eyes meeting with the figure standing in the darkness.

"y-yuki? what are you doing here?" his deep voice questioned, walking to the refrigerator to pour himself a cup of water. yuki remained silent as she fiddled with her fingers. deep in thought.

the male took a seat next to her, his glass quietly making a noise as it interacted with the marbled table. "yuki? hello?" he waved his large hands in front of her, earning her attention.

"couldn't sleep. i just wanted water," she lied.  sort of.

"couldn't sleep because...?" he questioned, resting against the chair and folding his arms.

"it's none of your business," she quietly answered. the two remained silent for a while.

"i know it's been hard for you to fit in with us," he broke the silence, "but don't worry too much about it. before you know it we'll all get close,"

yuki shook her head, her black hair falling out of her ponytail, "i don't think so. you guys seem far better without me," there was a gloom that followed her tone.

"hey, don't think like that. si hyuk-nim put you in this group for a reason. you should believe in yourself," yuki stared into his eyes, noting the sincerity in them as he spoke. she felt a bit comforted by his words. nevertheless, that didn't stop her from thinking that she truly did not belong in this group.

"thank you jay." jay's eyes then flickered to his hands that were unconsciously holding onto hers when he tried to comfort her. yuki seemed to realize it too. he stuttered an apology before the two separated their hands away from each other.  they were engulfed in silence once again.

from the beige curtains, the orange hue of sunlight peaked through, greeting the two. it was the start of sunrise. the sounds of birds chirping could be heard in the distance.

"what do you say we make breakfast?" suggested jay, a small grin appearing on his face.

"together?" questioned yuki, tilting her head to the side slightly. the male nodded and stood up from his seat, already gathering ingredients from the pantry and fridge.

"i didn't know you cook," yuki cleared her throat as she watched jay mix up a batter of what seemed like french toast dipping.

"only sometimes," he paused in between his whisking to turn to face the shorter figure, "i always felt bad for letting you cook us breakfast. one is better than to two you know?"

this was the first time that jay had ever seen what seemed like a smile on yuki's face. even though it was a small one he felt somewhat prideful that he was the first to see her smile.

and so, the pair prepared breakfast for the rest of the group with bits of conversations shared here and there.

the practice room was tense and humid. all eight members of ENHYPEN were present in the practice room along with their dance instructor, practicing the dance of their title track with a demo version (as they weren't finished with the vocals for it yet). the sounds of sneakers squeaking against the floor could be heard along with music playing through the speakers.

"stop stop stop," the eight members stopped mid chorus at the sound of their instructor. he paused the music with his phone, letting out a sigh.

"yuki, you're half a beat off again."

yuki bit her lip, apologizing "i'm sorry it won't happen again,"

"let's start from the beginning of the chorus." the instructor clapped his hands and the members got into their designated positions for the first chorus. yuki could feel the instructor's eyes following her around through the mirror as she danced. once they were finished with their second run-through of the song, the instructor walked towards yuki.

"yuki, your movements needs to be sharper instead of fluid. your movements needs to fit in with the rest of the team." he instructed, giving an example of the wrong movements she had been doing. yuki nodded in understanding, feeling embarrassed that she was called out once again.

once they reached their fourth run-through of the song, the instructor paused the music once again. yuki just knew that he was going to call out on her again.

"is there something on your mind yuki? you look very out of it. you dance like a corpse," the instructor had his brow raised, an impatient tone to his words.

"i just didn't have a lot of sleep. i'm sorry sir," yuki apologized once more, bowing her head to the elder.

"don't apologize to me, apologise to your groupmates. don't you feel bad for making them tolerate all of your mistakes?" he retorted with a slight click of his tongue. yuki never wanted to crawl in a hole so bad before. she felt extremely embarrassed and apologetic to her group mates and she could tell that they were getting impatient with her mistakes too.

"i'm sorry for being troublesome," she turned her heel and bowed to her own groupmates, not even daring to look at them in the eye.

"it's okay yuki," her head quipped to jake who gave her a small reassuring nod.

"let's go through the dance once more,"

after a good few rounds of going through the dance and yuki concentrating on her moves as hard as ever, their daily practice had come to an end. yuki leaned her head against the wall, chugging ferociously on the water as if she hadn't drunk for three days. she wiped the sweat off her neck with the mini towel she always packed in her tote bag. she watched as jungwon, heeseung and niki were discussing something. she cringed at the thought that they might've been talking about her.

"we all make mistakes," jay stood next to her, crushing the plastic water bottle in his hands.

yuki let out a sigh, "not as often as i do though,"

"it's alright yuki. during i-LAND i made a lot of mistakes and i often felt like i was the one bringing the team-" jay quickly slapped his hand across jake's mouth, the rest of his words becoming mumbled. jay widened his eyes at the fellow australian, giving him the look that was sort of like 'you shouldn't have said that dumbass.'

"it's okay, i'll just practice as hard as i can to catch up with the rest of you," yuki reassured them.

"yuki, please come over here," yuki perked her head up, meeting eyes with the dance instructor who waved her over to him. jay and jake shared worried glances as yuki walked to where he was.

the seven members could only quietly watch as the instructor continued giving out continuous criticism to yuki as she only nodded while he spoke with a poker face. although they were trying their best to make it seem like they weren't listening, it was fairly obvious.

"i'll try even harder sir. thank you," was the only words yuki said. by the end of their one-sided conversation, yuki looked more downcasted than she did in the first place.

"good work today everybody. i'll see you all in two days," the instructor walked over to the exit door but before he went out he spoke, "what you all are lacking right now is group dynamic and energy. so please....um fix whatever you all have going on." yuki swore she saw him glancing at her right before he left.