Jul 27, 2025
again please forgive duplicate posts sometimes, I go through THOUSANDS of my photography art images daily. Ive had many dark days lately and Im doing my best to struggle through and survive.
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again please forgive duplicate posts sometimes, I go through THOUSANDS of my photography art images daily. Ive had many dark days lately and Im doing my best to struggle through and survive.
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My sweet angel is 19 years, 7 months, and 1 day old and in congestive heart failure. She was diagnosed last month and had another episode on Saturday :(
It’s like, I know I should be prepared but she’s been my bestie since I was 10 and I turn 30 in less than a month. I’m trying to mentally prepare for life without her but I genuinely don’t know how. I work in vet med and help people through this every day but idk how to do it for myself.
Noreen Junek Nora’s fight against congestive heart failure I am raising money for my mom, Nora Contreras. She lives in San Antonio, TX. She
I know I haven’t been on here in years but we need all the help we can get. My mom has been fighting against congestive heart failure for almost a year now and as of today has been at the 4 days now She is behind on all of her expenses that have been adding up since she’s been diagnosed and she is only a couple of weeks away from losing her house. Any donation is greatly appreciated.
Negative
So, it’ll be 8 weeks this Wednesday and though I’m still having my grief bombs here and there, I’m actually becoming really close with my other cat, Archie. There is a misconception that when someone loses a pet that they should get another pet straight away to make themselves and their remaining family members “get better” faster. Although I am sure there are exceptions to this rule, as there are to every rule, I am not this exception.
I look at Archimedes as this poor, innocent soul. Someone who needs extra care all the time and constant reassurance. He needs to be ON my person at all times to feel safe. He sleeps in my hair. While I have been his “mother” so to speak in the eight years that we’ve been blessed enough to have him, Kassie was his security blanket.
I would often see him having a hard time with his anxiety, and then look over at her, even if she was sleeping, and immediately feel okay because he could see that she was still there. Often, she was not allowed to have any personal space because he wanted to be touching her. If you have ever seen their (once mutual, now individual) Instagram page (@archimedespatrick), you’ll be able to see how close they were as family members. It is gut-wrenching to see him look for her for comfort now that she is gone.
And, while Kassie of course doesn’t look super happy to have any of that happening, she still allowed him to take comfort in her, to take her personal space and her sleep, never hissed or made him piss off. She accepted that he needed extra help. For this, we are forever grateful.
Here’s the catch, folks: Archie hates other cats. We once had to babysit our clinic cat, Wendy, and he wanted to murder her. He was so aggressive and mean and I had never seen him like that. She wasn’t even doing anything. This adds to my hesitation in getting another rescue at this time (although I do know that eventually thing would work out - it’s a lot of work and energy.)
The most important part of all of this, is that none of us are really ready. Scott and I browse rescue sites and while we want to be ready to allow another poor soul into our lives, we just can’t.
Two days ago, Archie had to have last-minute (not quite emergency) surgery to remove this huge growth from his left hip. This grew over the bridge of time that we have been grieving our girl. Here’s the thing about Archie - his anxiety is so bad that when he gets stressed, his immune system drops out of the race. He gets infections, respiratory issues, and this time, where he got a pain injection (or possibly a bite from our dearly departed), he grew a mass that seemed like it was the size of a twonie, but once the surgeon extracted it, turned out to be five times that size underneath. He has also lost 18% of his body weight since losing his best friend, so that was also scary since getting him to eat has been the worst.
We’re waiting for the histopathology report. I refresh it at least twice an hour. Sometimes more. He’s been on meds that make him funny, he obviously can never walk again because the gown he’s wearing made his legs disappear :P
In trying to deal with grief bombs and recovering surgery patients, I also took an online course today about heart disease in cats and dogs. It really helped me understand exactly what happened to Kassie. I’ve got so much more information to ponder upon.
I wasn't really sure if I wanted to post anything about today, but here goes anyway. Today April 26 is my birthday and I am very grateful for another year no matter how difficult it's been. I will continue to ask for help until I do not need it anymore if I receive any at all. But the the main focus I want to speak about is to the people out there reading this. I don't know if people can truly understand what chronic illness means and the problems it presents over a lifetime, as far as the pain and struggle Etc and how it is compounded by being destitute or poor, also unfortunately how illness tends to attract the wrong people and the suffering kind that gets taken advantage of in many ways. Like I said it's not something I can easily put into words, but what I want to say is please don't look down on individuals because you never know what they're truly going through. Over my time asking for help I've been insulted I've been laughed at I've been mocked and ridiculed. But I do understand that people don't understand and I do my best to ignore the insults, I know that many people that do this type of thing don't understand how close they are to a tragedy a couple or a few bad breaks is all it takes, but many of these confident and condescending people feel that they're Invincible for some reason and maybe they are in some ways. But again many people don't understand that for a lot of people out there chronic illness especially when it starts at the very young age and compounds the older you get it causes a set of problems that feels like a curse in many ways. Chronic illness is something that does not always present itself outwardly, what I mean to say is you can't tell of the suffering of someone by just looking at them it is not always apparent, I would ask people to have more understanding because you truly never know what somebody is going through whether it's the woman standing in line to buy her groceries or the guy sitting in his car stuck in traffic, you truly don't know of the suffering they may be going through especially if they are doing it silently and trying to hide it from the world. Be grateful for your health and your good life if you have it and please sympathize and understand that others may not have it so good. And again the assumption that someone doesn't care about themselves enough to do more is nothing but a fallacy, for many it takes a tremendous amount of strength just to survive on a daily basis and being insulted or condescended by others does not make matters any better please be kind to everyone acquaintances friends and strangers alike. As for myself I'm doing the best that I can it is taken a very long time to get into the depot that I'm in I look upward and I see the light but it is too far to reach out, I still remain hopeful and I'm not sure what it will take short of a miracle to give me something that closely resembles a normal life. If you would like to help my paypal is [email protected] I am grateful nonetheless for making it another year and I hope in my struggle that I learn to cope better and I remain confident that something good will come of my suffering, I may not understand it every day but I still know I have the chance to live a better life somehow. Take care of yourselves and be kind to others.
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My dearest Vera, I cannot emphasize and say it enough. Thank you for your uncommon kindness and offering me a glimmer of hope in a very dark situation. The world needs billions more like you.
I'd love to say some things but there's just too many thoughts going on at the same time and it probably wouldn't make sense, Maybe tonight. Do your best to be safe, be happy and take care of yourself.
morning shoot with Cary