#confusings

Things are not always as simple as they seem. Turns out my first post, the misspelling of ‘mojar’ as ‘mujar’, actually translates as the verb ‘to make wet’, and is often used in a sexual way. It is related to the mopping up of the juices, in that one makes the bread wet, but it doesn't really mean ‘to get the most out of’, as I was using it.

This example is a clear demonstration of my behaviour. Hear about something, think it’s fantastic, wholeheartedly adopt it in full swing without really looking into any of the details.

It happened with veganism, Hare Krishna, and trying to follow the Buddhist doctrines during University. Not that there's a lot bad to be uncovered within those things, I was just very enthusiastic about them without fully thinking anything through. Good ideas versus realism. Being vegan and loving travel = being hungry = being upset and tired = not a good idea.  There was also this thing called Mooji in Portugal which I applied to thinking it sounded spiritual before finding out it was actually a kind of money making cult which Louis Theroux really needs to investigate.

Life choices can be easy to make, but deeply thinking about them and seeing them as a part of life, not just a choice, is where it stops being so easy. Think about some choices you have made in life. Before deciding upon them, did you ask why? Then why again? Then why, again?

We were asked “why?” to the max in the week ofApril 24th-30th. It was a so-called bootcamp near Barcelona facilitated by Classroom Alive!’s previous pilgrims. I say so-called because bootcamp normally conjures images of doing star jumps by a lake whilst someone cheers at you to keep on going, one more set. But this boot camp was different, very different.

Not unlike boarding school, we all stayed in a great mansion called Can Bordoi in Llinars del Valles. The subjects were economics, self development, travel logistics, and life planning. We learned about U-theory and absenscing; which is when you are not seeing a situation clearly or using your ego to avoid reality (as I understand). Coming through the U threads the eye of the needle, where one arrives at a balanced outcome.

The main premise of the boot camp was that we design a journey, ranging from 2-6 months, where we walk and study each day to travel by foot and learn more. In previous journeys some travelled from Greece to Sweden, or Budapest to Amsterdam. Some studying finance, some medicine, some solely meditation. Our plan was to travel across Asturias in Northern Spain, winding our way through farms, eco communities, permaculture workaways and crop fields with the idea to create a network between them.

Sounds fantastic, yes? I was taken away by the dreamy idea of floating between farmers to families talking about organic veg and camping in the summer air. This is the kind of vague plan I would usually come up with. Classroom Alive, however, encouraged us to really think about these ideas. How could it work in practice? Why do you want to do it? What is the long term goal?

Unavoidable questions, and so important. After a long think I realised it would be neccessary to take another year before beginning said journey; as currently my Spanish is below intermediate and small-scale conversational at best, so the idea of entering Spanish homes with the aim to discuss local and larger networking is far fetched with a limited vocabulary.

This was okay though, because we met a fantastic man, previously mentioned for his stone masonry skills, named Klas who lives in the mountains and co-runs immersion courses with a mystical woman named Nar. The idea is that you stay in the village for a month, everyone in the community partakes in the course and refuses to speak in any language other than Spanish, even when they are able. It's almost universally agreed that immersion is the best way of learning, so this made me more than happy to postpone our journey for a year, leaving time to plan and learn and maybe create an online network to direct people to; similar to gen.com but initially just for Spain.

I also decided that I wanted to do a Vipassana before going on such a journey, as I don't trust my up and down state of mind enough to fully commit to so long walking and talking with others. We originally teamed up in groups but soon found ourselves breaking away as ideas differed and the energy between us was difficult to calm. Lots of bubbling enthusiasms but an underlying struggle to release and collaborate harmoniously. People wanted to do what they wanted to do, and I felt the same.

It was around Thursday when Caleb, one of the leading organisers, spoke the realisation that Classroom Alive wasn't really about planning a journey, but planning your life. The questions asked were so invasive, so penetrating, that many people changed their minds about their original ideas. It was fantastic.

I’ve never had such a concentrated experience of self analysis and questioning. It was tough, but it enabled everyone to reach the right conclusions for them at that time. It was funny how at the start of the week we hopped in the car with Madalena, wholeheartedly spouting about the definity of staying in Spain, living and travelling on the go, and at the end we were in a different car, with the same Madalena dropping us at the station to get the train to the airport, our flight departing to England later that Sunday.

Self analysis and ‘why’ lead us to the conclusion that more planning needs to be done. Roughing it with 25kg suitcases plus backpacks is not roughing it. It’s tough. We had so much fun with two months of workaways, moving around and learning things, but also realised we had no real plans for the immediate future, and money was becoming a worry. People were asking what our plans were post-boot camp and we said we’d figure it out. We did, but in a way that wasn't expected.

Nik and I are now sat opposite each other in my old-new house in Alsager. It's the new build next to the old house that I grew up in, so it’s on the same grounds. We’re both typing frantically about what's been happening in the last month, as a detailed way of informing friends and family of the situation. We’re spending just over a month gardening, healing and planning. We’re even looking at temporary jobs to save more money before returning.  

Classroom Alive recently posted something on Facebook wondering how our outer journeys, but more importantly, inner journeys had developed. At this point, I feel so much more balanced than I did more than a month ago.

Weirdly coming back to England has been less of a step back and much further forward. We have plans to live in the ecovillage featured on Grand Designs in Pembrokeshire, Lammas, and volunteer for a month before working on the Green Team at Boomtown. From there we’ll get the ferry to Gijon, hopefully get on to a week long English-Spanish immersion teaching course. Then go our separate ways for a month whilst we each take to our own immersive Spanish learning.

Having space from travelling and uncertainty has provided so much time for planning and organising, developing certainty and more calm. Nothing is set in stone but the vague structure has made us both feel more relaxed in the present and excited about the future.

I’ve had acupuncture, cranio sacral therapy, and probably most healing of all, lots of lovely times drinking with friends. England, you have been magical.