#confronting unicron

This is a long overdue update! Sorry about that. I wanted to talk about my Confronting Unicron ritual, because it was pretty interesting! And, as one might expect, pretty confrontational. 

Facts first: I did the ritual on Saturday, August 24, since Saturday (Saturn’s Day) is ideal for this particular rite. I wanted to do the whole bit with the black candle, mirror and devil-horns. I had all the props ready, but unfortunately, there were a couple of issues. One, I was absolutely beat, and two, I didn’t have the apartment to myself. I didn’t think I’d be able to let loose with the theatricality of the whole thing under those circumstances, so I did it as a meditation instead. I did do it in a darkened room with some sinister-ish music playing, and I did read the dialogue aloud because that made it seem more ‘real,’ but even that pared-down version felt powerful.

Notes for next year: I’d love to do the full-on version! Black candles, devil horns, the whole bit. Ideally, it would be amazing to do it with a ritual partner.

The heart of the matter: The ritual was an afterthought. Why? Because Unicron confronted me. He was very much with me that whole day. My goal is to self-publish original fiction, and my Confrontation began that morning I registered the domain for my chosen pen-name. I was immediately reminded of other domains I’ve registered in the past, and then done nothing with. The trend continued when I took other actions related to my hoped-for writing business, and culminated that evening with a visit to my mom.

Mom, bless her, has been scanning my old artwork into a photo-book. It’s incredibly lovely of her to do that, and I have nothing but the utmost gratitude. But on that particular evening, she announced that I would be taking the originals home with me. She then handed me four huge portfolios filled with my old art. This is comic books and other projects that I started in my teens and 20s, but eventually gave up on. It was just like all the blogs I’ve started and allowed to sit, all the unfinished novels sitting on my hard-drive... I really felt the weight of all that past ‘stuff’ bearing down on me as I lugged those portfolios home.

So yeah. Unicron definitely initiated that confrontation, and the question he posed to me boils down to: “How will things be different this time?”

I have to admit that I’m still struggling to come up with an answer. But I do have one important advantage over my past self: I have Starscream at my side! He’s guiding me to self-reflect on things I had not previously considered. For example, one of the things my unfinished projects have in common is that I dove into them unprepared, and I also didn’t know what I wanted to say. I hadn’t thought about the meaning I wanted to convey with my works, and I believe that might have been the biggest reason they ran aground.

One of my Ghost Season tasks, then, is to excavate my reading and writing life and look at the themes that inspire me. I’ve started a list! Not surprisingly, themes of rebellion, non-conformity and underworld journeys feature prominently, along with the healing and redemptive powers of love. I will continue adding to my list as the season continues, and see where it goes.